§21Λυκῖνος
παρελθὼν γὰρ εἰς τὸ μέσον οἰκέτης παρʼ Ἑτοιμοκλέους τοῦ Στωϊκοῦ ἥκειν λέγων γραμματίδιον ἔχων κελεῦσαί οἱ ἔφη τὸν δεσπότην ἐν τῷ κοινῷ ἀναγνόντα εἰς ἐπήκοον ἅπασιν ὀπίσω αὖθις ἀπαλλάττεσθαι.
Lycinus For a servant came forward into the midst, saying that he had come from Hetoimocles the Stoic, holding a small tablet, and said that his master had ordered him to read it aloud in public for all to hear, and then to return back again immediately.
ἐφέντος οὖν τοῦ Ἀρισταινέτου προσελθὼν πρὸς τὸν λύχνον ἀνεγίνωσκεν.
So, Aristaenetus having permitted it, he went up to the lamp and read.
Φίλων
ἦ που, ὦ Λυκῖνε, τῆς νύμφης ἐγκώμιον ἢ ἐπιθαλάμιον, οἷα πολλὰ ποιοῦσιν;
Philon Surely, Lycinus, it was a eulogy or a wedding song for the bride, such as they often write?
Λυκῖνος
ἀμέλει καὶ ἡμεῖς τοιοῦτον ᾠήθημεν, ἀλλʼ οὐδʼ ἐγγὺς ἦν τούτου· ἐνεγέγραπτο γάρ· §22Λυκῖνος
Ἑτοιμοκλῆς φιλόσοφος Ἀρισταινέτῳ.
Lycinus To be sure, we too thought it was something of the sort, but it was not even close to it; for in it was written: Lycinus 'Hetoimocles the philosopher to Aristaenetus.
ὅπως μὲν ἔχω πρὸς δεῖπνα ὁ παρεληλυθώς μοι βίος ἅπας μαρτύριον ἂν γένοιτο, ὅς γε ὁσημέραι πολλῶν ἐνοχλούντων παρὰ πολὺ σοῦ πλουσιωτέρων ὅμως οὐδὲ πώποτε φέρων ἐμαυτὸν ἐπέδωκα εἰδὼς τοὺς ἐπὶ τοῖς συμποσίοις θορύβους καὶ παροινίας.
How I feel towards dinner parties my whole past life would be a witness, since every day, though many far richer than you importune me, I nevertheless have never once yielded and given myself up to them, knowing the clamors and drunken excesses at banquets.
ἐπὶ σοῦ δὲ μόνου εἰκότως ἀγανακτῆσαί μοι δοκῶ, ὃς τοσοῦτον χρόνον ὑπʼ ἐμοῦ λιπαρῶς τεθεραπευμένος οὐκ ἠξίωσας ἐναριθμῆσαι κἀμὲ τοῖς ἄλλοις φίλοις, ἀλλὰ μόνος ἐγώ σοι ἄμοιρος, καὶ ταῦτα ἐν γειτόνων οἰκῶν.
But in your case alone, I think I am reasonably indignant, since you, though so long and earnestly courted by me, did not think fit to number me among your other friends, but I alone am without a share from you, and that though I live in your neighborhood.
ἀνιῶμαι οὖν ἐπὶ σοὶ τὸ πλέον οὕτως ἀχαρίστῳ φανέντι· ἐμοὶ γὰρ ἡ εὐδαιμονία οὐκ ἐν ὑὸς ἀγρίου μοίρᾳ ἢ λαγωοῦ ἢ πλακοῦντος, ἃ παρʼ ἄλλοις ἀφθόνως ἀπολαύω τὰ καθήκοντα εἰδόσιν, ἐπεὶ καὶ τήμερον παρὰ τῷ μαθητῇ Παμμένει δειπνῆσαι πολυτελές, ὥς φασι, δεῖπνον δυνάμενος οὐκ ἐπένευσα ἱκετεύοντι, σοὶ ὁ ἀνόητος ἐμαυτὸν φυλάττων.
I am grieved, therefore, more on your account for showing yourself so ungrateful; for my happiness is not in a portion of wild boar or hare or cake, which I enjoy in abundance at the houses of others who know what is fitting, since even today, though I was able to dine on a sumptuously prepared dinner, as they say, at the house of my pupil Pammenes, I did not yield to his entreaties, foolishly keeping myself for you.
§23Λυκῖνος
σὺ δὲ ἡμᾶς παραλιπὼν ἄλλους εὐωχεῖς, εἰκότως· οὔπω γὰρ δύνασαι διακρίνειν τὸ βέλτιον οὐδὲ τὴν καταληπτικὴν φαντασίαν ἔχεις.
Lycinus But you, passing us by, feast others—and reasonably so, for you cannot yet distinguish what is better, nor do you possess the comprehending presentation.
ἀλλὰ οἶδα ὅθεν μοι ταῦτα, παρὰ τῶν θαυμαστῶν σου φιλοσόφων, Ζηνοθέμιδος καὶ Λαβυρίνθου, ὧν — ἀπείη δὲ ἡ Ἀδράστεια — συλλογισμῷ ἑνὶ ἀποφράξαι ἄν μοι τάχιστα δοκῶ τὰ στόματα.
But I know whence this treatment comes to me: from your wonderful philosophers, Zenothemis and Labyrinthus, whose mouths—may Adrasteia be far away!—I think I could very quickly stop with a single syllogism.
ἢ εἰπάτω τις αὐτῶν, τί ἐστὶ φιλοσοφία;
Or let one of them say, what is philosophy?
ἢ τὰ πρῶτα ταῦτα, τί διαφέρει σχέσις ἕξεως;
Or these very first elements, how does a condition differ from a habit?
ἵνα μὴ τῶν ἀπόρων εἴπω τι, κερατίναν ἢ σωρείτην ἢ θερίζοντα λόγον.
Not to speak of those insoluble dilemmas, like the horned, the heap, or the reaper fallacy.
Ἀλλὰ σὺ μὲν ὄναιο αὐτῶν.
But may you benefit from them!
ἐγὼ δὲ ὡς ἂν μόνον τὸ καλὸν ἀγαθὸν ἡγούμενος εἶναι οἴσω ῥᾳδίως τὴν ἀτιμίαν.
As for me, holding that the noble alone is good, I shall bear this dishonor easily.
§24Λυκῖνος
καίτοι ὅπως μὴ ἐς ἐκείνην ἔχῃς καταφεύγειν τὴν ἀπολογίαν ὕστερον, ἐπιλαθέσθαι λέγων ἐν τοσούτῳ θορύβῳ καὶ πράγματι, δίς σε τήμερον προσηγόρευσα καὶ ἕωθεν ἐπὶ τῇ οἰκίᾳ καὶ ἐν τῷ ἀνακείῳ θύοντα ὕστερον.
Lycinus And yet, lest you should be able to flee to that defense later, saying that you forgot in so much bustle and business, I greeted you twice today, both in the morning at your house, and later when you were sacrificing at the Anaceum.
ταῦτα ἐγὼ τοῖς παροῦσιν ἀπολελόγημαι.
These things I have stated in my defense to those present.
§25Λυκῖνος
εἰ δὲ δείπνου ἕνεκα ὀργίζεσθαί σοι δοκῶ, τὸ κατὰ τὸν Οἰνέα ἐννόησον· ὄψει γὰρ καὶ τὴν Ἄρτεμιν ἀγανακτοῦσαν, ὅτι μόνην αὐτὴν οὐ παρέλαβεν ἐκεῖνος ἐπὶ τὴν θυσίαν τοὺς ἄλλους θεοὺς ἑστιῶν.
Lycinus And if I seem to you to be angry for the sake of a dinner, consider the story of Oeneus; for you will see Artemis also being indignant, because he did not include her alone in the sacrifice when he feasted the other gods.
φησὶ δὲ περὶ αὐτῶν Ὅμηρος ὧδέ πως· "ἢ λάθετʼ ἢ οὐκ ἐνόησεν, ἀάσατο δὲ μέγα θυμῷ· "
καὶ Εὐριπίδης· "
Καλυδὼν μὲν ἥδε γαῖα, Πελοπίας χθονὸς
ἐν ἀντιπόρθμοις, πεδίʼ ἔχουσʼ εὐδαίμονα.
And Homer speaks of them somewhat as follows: "Either he forgot or he did not notice, but he erred greatly in his mind;" and Euripides: "This is the land of Calydon, of the Pelopian earth on the opposite shore, possessing fertile plains.
"
καὶ Σοφοκλῆς· "συὸς μέγιστον χρῆμʼ ἐπʼ Οἰνέως γύαις
ἀνῆκε Λητοῦς παῖς ἑκηβόλος θεά. "
"and Sophocles: "A boar of monstrous size upon the fields of Oeneus did Leto's daughter send, the far-shooting goddess.
§26Λυκῖνος
ταῦτά σοι ἀπὸ πολλῶν ὀλίγα παρεθέμην, ὅπως μάθῃς οἷον ἄνδρα παραλιπὼν Δίφιλον ἑστιᾷς καὶ τὸν υἱὸν αὐτῷ παραδέδωκας, εἰκότως· ἡδὺς γάρ ἐστι τῷ μειρακίῳ καὶ πρὸς χάριν αὐτῷ σύνεστιν.
"Lycinus These few out of many things I have set before you, so that you may learn what kind of man you have passed by in order to feast Diphilus, and to whom you have entrusted your son—and reasonably so, for he is pleasant to the youth and associates with him to please him.
εἰ δὲ μὴ αἰσχρὸν ἦν ἐμὲ λέγειν τὰ τοιαῦτα, κἄν τι προσέθηκα, ὅπερ σύ, εἰ θέλεις, παρὰ Ζωπύρου τοῦ παιδαγωγοῦ ἂν μάθοις ἀληθὲς ὄν.
And if it were not shameful for me to speak of such things, I might have added something else, which you, if you wish, could learn to be true from Zopyrus the tutor.
ἀλλʼ οὐ χρὴ ταράττειν ἐν γάμοις οὐδὲ διαβάλλειν ἄλλους, καὶ μάλιστα ἐφʼ οὕτως αἰσχραῖς αἰτίαις· καὶ γὰρ εἰ Δίφιλος ἄξιος δύο ἤδη μαθητάς μου περισπάσας, ἀλλʼ ἔγωγε φιλοσοφίας αὐτῆς ἕνεκεν σιωπήσομαι.
But one ought not to cause trouble at weddings, nor slander others, and especially on such shameful charges; for even if Diphilus is worthy of blame for having already seduced two of my pupils, yet I, for the sake of philosophy itself, will keep silence.
§27Λυκῖνος
προσέταξα δὲ τῷ οἰκέτῃ τούτῳ, ἢν διδῷς αὐτῷ μοῖράν τινα ἢ συὸς ἢ ἐλάφου ἢ σησαμοῦντος, ὡς ἐμοὶ διακομίσειε καὶ ἀντὶ τοῦ δείπνου ἀπολογία γένοιτο, μὴ λαβεῖν, μὴ καὶ δόξωμεν ἐπὶ τούτῳ πεπομφέναι.
Lycinus And I have ordered this servant, if you should offer him any portion of wild boar or venison or sesame-cake to carry to me as an apology instead of the dinner, not to receive it, lest we should also seem to have sent him for this purpose.'