§4οὐκ ἀπεικότα γ' οὖν λέγοιεν ἄν, εἰ λέγοιεν ἤτοι ἄλλου του γενναίου ἀνδρὸς εἶναι τὸ βιβλίον καὶ σὲ τὸν κολοιὸν ἀλλοτρίοις πτεροῖς ἀγάλλεσθαι· ἢ εἴπερ σόν ἐστιν, ὅμοιά σε τῷ Σαλαίθῳ ποιεῖν, ὃς πικρότατον κατὰ μοιχῶν θεὶς τοῖς Κροτωνιάταις νόμον καὶ θαυμαζόμενος ἐπ' αὐτῷ μετὰ μικρὸν αὐτὸς ἑάλω μοιχεύων τοῦ ἀδελφοῦ τὴν γυναῖκα.
Indeed, they would not be speaking unreasonably if they said either that the book belongs to some other noble man and that you, like the jackdaw, are pluming yourself with other birds’ feathers; or, if it is indeed yours, that you are doing what is similar to Salaethus, who, after laying down a most severe law against adulterers for the Crotoniates and being admired for it, was himself caught a little later committing adultery with his brother's wife.
περὶ πόδα τοίνυν καὶ σὲ τὸν Σάλαιθον ἐκεῖνον εἶναι φαίη τις ἄν· μᾶλλον δὲ πολὺ μετριώτερος ἐκεῖνος, ἔρωτι μὲν ἁλούς, ὡς ἔφασκεν ἀπολογούμενος, ἑκὼν δὲ μάλα εὐψύχως ἐς τὸ πῦρ ἁλλόμενος, καίτοι ἐλεούντων αὐτὸν ἤδη Κροτωνιατῶν καὶ ἐνδιδόντων φυγεῖν, εἰ βούλοιτο.
Someone might say, therefore, that you are that Salaethus exactly; or rather, he was much more moderate, since he was caught by love, as he said in his defense, and leaped into the fire very courageously of his own free will, even though the Crotoniates already pitied him and were offering him the chance to flee if he wished.
τὸ δὲ σὸν οὐ παρὰ μικρὸν ἀτοπώτερον, ἀκριβοῦντος μὲν ἐν τοῖς λόγοις τὴν τοῦ τοιούτου βίου δουλοπρέπειαν καὶ κατηγοροῦντος εἴ τις εἰς πλουσίου τινὸς ἐμπεσὼν καὶ καθείρξας ἑαυτὸν ἀνέχοιτο μυρία τὰ δυσχερῆ πάσχων καὶ ποιῶν, ἐν γήρᾳ δὲ ὑστάτῳ καὶ σχεδὸν ἤδη ὑπὲρ τὸν οὐδὸν οὕτως ἀγεννῆ λατρείαν ἐπανῃρημένου καὶ μονονουχὶ καὶ ἐμπομπεύοντος αὐτῇ.
But your case is not a little stranger, since you, while defining precisely in your writings the servility of such a life and accusing anyone who, falling into the house of some rich man and shutting himself up, should endure suffering and doing countless disagreeable things, have in extreme old age, and almost already over the threshold, undertaken such ignoble service and are almost even parading in it.
ὅσῳ γοῦν πᾶσιν ἐπισημότερος εἶναι δοκεῖς, τοσούτῳ καταγελαστότερος ἂν δόξειας εἶναι ἀντιφωνοῦντος τοῦ νῦν βίου τῷ βιβλίῳ.
Indeed, the more eminent you seem to be to everyone, the more ridiculous you would appear, with your present life singing out of tune with your book.
§5Καίτοι τί δεῖ καινὴν ἐπὶ σὲ κατηγορίαν ζητεῖν μετὰ τὴν θαυμαστὴν τραγῳδίαν λέγουσαν
"
μισῶ σοφιστήν, ὅστις οὐχ αὑτῷ σοφός;
And yet, why is there any need to seek a new accusation against you after that wonderful tragedy says: "I hate a wise man who is not wise for himself"?
"
οὐκ ἀπορήσουσι δὲ οἱ κατηγοροῦντες καὶ ἄλλων παραδειγμάτων ἐπί σε, ἀλλ’ οἱ μὲν τοῖς τραγικοῖς ὑποκριταῖς εἰκάσουσιν, οἳ ἐπὶ μὲν τῆς σκηνῆς Ἀγαμέμνων ἕκαστος αὐτῶν ἢ Κρέων ἢ αὐτὸς Ἡρακλῆς εἰσιν, ἔξω δὲ Πῶλος ἢ Ἀριστόδημος ἀποθέμενοι τὰ προσωπεῖα γίγνονται ὑπόμισθοι τραγῳδοῦντες, ἐκπίπτοντες καὶ συριττόμενοι, ἐνίοτε δὲ καὶ μαστιγούμενοί τινες αὐτῶν, ὡς ἂν τῷ θεάτρῳ δοκῇ.
And those who accuse you will not be at a loss for other examples against you, but some will liken you to tragic actors, who on the stage are each of them Agamemnon or Creon or Heracles himself, but outside, having laid aside their masks, they become Polus or Aristodemus, acting for hire, being hissed off and hooted, and sometimes some of them even being whipped, as it pleases the theater.
ἄλλοι δὲ τὸ τοῦ πιθήκου πεπονθέναι σε φήσουσιν ὃν Κλεοπάτρᾳ τῇ πάνυ φασὶ γενέσθαι· ἐκεῖνον γὰρ διδαχθέντα τέως μὲν ὀρχεῖσθαι πάνυ κοσμίως καὶ ἐμμελῶς καὶ ἐπὶ πολὺ θαυμάζεσθαι μένοντα ἐν τῷ σχήματι καὶ τὸ πρέπον φυλάττοντα καὶ τοῖς ᾄδουσι καὶ αὐλοῦσι συγκινούμενον ὑμέναιον, ἐπεὶ δὲ εἶδεν ἰσχάδα οἶμαι ἢ ἀμύγδαλον πόρρω κειμένην, μακρὰ χαίρειν φράσαντα τοῖς αὐλοῖς καὶ ῥυθμοῖς καὶ ὀρχήμασι συναρπάσαντα κατατρώγειν, ἀπορρίψαντα, μᾶλλον δὲ συντρίψαντα τὸ πρόσωπον.
Others will say that you have suffered the fate of the monkey which they say belonged to the famous Cleopatra; for that animal, having been taught for a while to dance very decorously and gracefully, was highly admired, keeping its posture and preserving what was fitting, and moving in harmony with those singing and piping the marriage song; but when it saw, I suppose, a dried fig or an almond lying at a distance, bidding a long farewell to the pipes and rhythms and dances, it snatched it up and devoured it, throwing off, or rather shattering, its mask.
§6καὶ σὺ τοίνυν, φαῖεν ἄν, οὐχ ὑποκριτής, ἀλλὰ ποιητὴς τῶν καλλίστων καὶ νομοθέτης γενόμενος ὑπὸ ἰσχάδος ταυτησὶ παραφανείσης ἠλέγχθης πίθηκος ὢν καὶ ἀπ' ἄκρου χείλους φιλοσοφῶν καὶ ἕτερα μὲν κεύθων ἐνὶ φρεσίν, ἄλλα δὲ λέγων·
And you too, then, they would say, having become not an actor but a poet and lawgiver of the most beautiful things, were proved by this dried fig appearing to be a monkey, philosophizing from the tip of your lips and hiding one thing in your mind while saying another.
ὡς εἰκότως ἄν τινα ἐπὶ σοῦ εἰπεῖν ὅτι ἃ λέγεις καὶ ἐφ' οἷς ἐπαινεῖσθαι ἀξιοῖς, χείλεα μέν σου ἐδίηνεν, ὑπερῴην δὲ αὐχμῶσαν καταλέλοιπεν.
So that one might reasonably say of you that what you say, and for which you think you deserve to be praised, has indeed moistened your lips, but has left your palate parched.
τοιγαροῦν παρὰ πόδας εὐθὺς ἔτισας δίκην, προπετῶς μὲν θρασυνάμενος πρὸς τὰς ἀνθρώπων χρείας, μετὰ μικρὸν δὲ μονονουχὶ ὑπὸ κήρυξιν ἐξομοσάμενος τὴν ἐλευθερίαν.
Therefore, you paid the penalty immediately on the spot, having rashly made bold against the needs of men, and a little later having almost sworn away your freedom under a herald.
καὶ ἐῴκει ἡ Ἀδράστεια τότε κατόπιν ἐφεστῶσά σοι εὐδοκιμοῦντι ἐφ' οἷς κατηγόρεις τῶν ἄλλων, καταγελᾶν ὡς ἂν θεὸς εἰδυῖα τὴν μέλλουσάν σοι ἐς τὰ ὅμοια μεταβολὴν καὶ ὅτι οὐκ εἰς τὸν κόλπον πτύσας πρότερον ἠξίους κατηγορεῖν τῶν διὰ ποικίλας τινὰς τύχας τοιαῦτα πράττειν ὑπομενόντων.
And Adrasteia seemed then, standing behind you as you were highly esteemed for what you accused others of, to laugh at you, knowing as a goddess your future change to the same state, and that you, without first spitting into your own bosom, deemed it right to accuse those who endure doing such things through various fortunes.
§7εἰ γοῦν ὑποθοῖτό τις τῷ λόγῳ τὸν Αἰσχίνην μετὰ τὴν κατὰ τοῦ Τιμάρχου κατηγορίαν αὐτὸν ἁλῶναι καὶ φωραθῆναι τὰ ὅμοια πάσχοντα, πόσον ἂν οἴει παρὰ τῶν ὁρώντων γενέσθαι τὸν γέλωτα, εἰ Τίμαρχον μὲν ηὔθυνεν ἐπὶ τοῖς καθ' ὥραν ἡμαρτημένοις, αὐτὸς δὲ γέρων ἤδη τοιαῦτα εἰς ἑαυτὸν παρενόμει;
Indeed, if one were to suppose for the sake of argument that Aeschines, after his accusation against Timarchus, was himself caught and detected suffering the same things, how much laughter do you think would have come from the onlookers, if he called Timarchus to account for sins committed in his youth, while he himself, already an old man, committed such lawless acts against himself?
τὸ δ’ ὅλον ἐκείνῳ τῷ φαρμακοπώλῃ ἔοικας ὃς ἀποκηρύττων βηχὸς φάρμακον καὶ αὐτίκα καταπαύσειν τοὺς πάσχοντας ὑπισχνούμενος αὐτὸς μεταξὺ σπώμενος ὑπὸ βηχὸς ἐφαίνετο.
In short, you are like that quack medicine-seller who, crying a cure for a cough and promising that it would immediately stop those who suffered from it, was himself seen in the meantime convulsed by a cough.