§5Μῶμος
εἶτα θαυμάζομεν εἰ καταφρονοῦσιν ἡμῶν οἱ ἄνθρωποι ὁρῶντες οὕτω γελοίους θεοὺς καὶ τεραστίους;
Momus Then do we wonder if men despise us when they see such ridiculous and monstrous gods?
ἐῶ γὰρ λέγειν ὅτι καὶ δύο γυναῖκας ἀνήγαγεν, τὴν μὲν ἐρωμένην οὖσαν αὐτοῦ, τὴν Ἀριάδνην, ἧς καὶ τὸν στέφανον ἐγκατέλεξε τῷ τῶν ἄστρων χορῷ, τὴν δὲ Ἰκαρίου τοῦ γεωργοῦ θυγατέρα.
For I refrain from saying that he also brought up two women, one being his mistress, Ariadne, whose crown he even enrolled in the chorus of stars, and the other the daughter of Icarius the farmer.
καὶ ὃ πάντων γελοιότατον, ὦ θεοί, καὶ τὸν κύνα τῆς Ἠριγόνης, καὶ τοῦτον ἀνήγαγεν, ὡς μὴ ἀνιῷτο ἡ παῖς εἰ μὴ ἕξει ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ τὸ ξύνηθες ἐκεῖνο καὶ ὅπερ ἠγάπα κυνίδιον.
And what is most ridiculous of all, O gods, he also brought up Erigone's dog, even this one, so that the girl might not be grieved if she should not have in heaven that familiar little dog which she loved.
ταῦτα οὐχ ὕβρις ὑμῖν δοκεῖ καὶ παροινία καὶ γέλως;
Do these things not seem to you to be insolence, drunken folly, and a laughing-stock?
ἀκούσατε δʼ οὖν καὶ ἄλλους.
Hear then about others also.
§6Ζεύς
μηδέν, ὦ Μῶμε, εἴπῃς μήτε περὶ Ἀσκληπιοῦ μήτε περὶ Ἡρακλέους· ὁρῶ γὰρ οἷ φέρῃ τῷ λόγῳ.
Zeus Say nothing, Momus, either about Asclepius or about Heracles; for I see where you are tending with your speech.
οὗτοι γάρ, ὁ μὲν αὐτῶν ἰᾶται καὶ ἀνίστησιν ἐκ τῶν νόσων καὶ ἔστιν
πολλῶν ἀντάξιος ἄλλων,
ὁ δὲ Ἡρακλῆς υἱὸς ὢν ἐμὸς οὐκ ὀλίγων πόνων ἐπρίατο τὴν ἀθανασίαν· ὥστε μὴ κατηγόρει αὐτῶν.
For as to these, one of them heals and raises up from diseases, and is worth many others, while Heracles, being my son, purchased immortality at the price of no few labors; so do not accuse them.
Μῶμος
σιωπήσομαι, ὦ Ζεῦ, διὰ σέ, πολλὰ εἰπεῖν ἔχων.
Momus I will keep silent, Zeus, for your sake, though I have much to say.
καίτοι εἰ μηδὲν ἄλλο, ἔτι τὰ σημεῖα ἔχουσι τοῦ πυρός.
And yet, if nothing else, they still have the marks of the fire.
εἰ δὲ ἐξῆν καὶ πρὸς αὐτὸν σὲ τῇ παρρησίᾳ χρῆσθαι, πολλὰ ἂν εἶχον εἰπεῖν.
But if it were permitted to use frankness even toward you yourself, I would have much to say.
Ζεύς
καὶ μὴν πρὸς ἐμὲ ἔξεστιν μάλιστα.
Zeus Indeed, toward me it is permitted most of all.
μῶν δʼ οὖν κἀμὲ ξενίας διώκεις;
Do you then actually prosecute me also for foreign birth?
Μῶμος
ἐν Κρήτῃ μὲν οὐ μόνον τοῦτο ἀκοῦσαι ἔστιν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἄλλο τι περὶ σοῦ λέγουσιν καὶ τάφον ἐπιδεικνύουσιν· ἐγὼ δὲ οὔτε ἐκείνοις πείθομαι οὔτε Ἀχαιῶν Αἰγιεῦσιν ὑποβολιμαῖόν σε εἶναι φάσκουσιν.
Momus In Crete, indeed, not only is it possible to hear this, but they also say something else about you and point out your grave; but I neither believe them nor the Achaeans of Aegium who say that you are a changeling.
§7Μῶμος
ἃ δὲ μάλιστα ἐλεγχθῆναι δεῖν ἡγοῦμαι, ταῦτα ἐρῶ.
Momus But what I think especially needs to be exposed, these things I will say.
τὴν γάρ τοι ἀρχὴν τῶν τοιούτων παρανομημάτων καὶ τὴν αἰτίαν τοῦ νοθευθῆναι ἡμῶν τὸ ξυνέδριον σύ, ὦ Ζεῦ, παρέσχες θνηταῖς ἐπιμιγνύμενος καὶ κατιὼν παρʼ αὐτὰς ἐν ἄλλοτε ἄλλῳ σχήματι, ὥστε ἡμᾶς δεδιέναι μή σε καταθύσῃ τις ξυλλαβών, ὁπόταν ταῦρος ᾖς, ἢ τῶν χρυσοχόων τις κατεργάσηται χρυσὸν ὄντα, καὶ ἀντὶ Διὸς ἢ ὅρμος ἢ ψέλιον ἢ ἐλλόβιον ἡμῖν γένῃ.
For indeed, you, Zeus, provided the beginning of such unlawful acts and the cause of our council being corrupted, by mingling with mortal women and going down to them in now one form, now another, so that we fear lest someone might seize and sacrifice you when you are a bull, or some goldsmith might work you when you are gold, and instead of Zeus you might become for us either a necklace or a bracelet or an earring.
πλὴν ἀλλὰ ἐμπέπληκάς γε τὸν οὐρανὸν τῶν ἡμιθέων τούτων· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἄλλως εἴποιμι.
Nevertheless, you have at any rate filled heaven with these half-gods; for I could not call them otherwise.
καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα γελοιότατόν ἐστιν, ὁπόταν τις ἄφνω ἀκούσῃ ὅτι ὁ Ἡρακλῆς μὲν θεὸς ἀπεδείχθη, ὁ δὲ Εὐρυσθεύς, ὃς ἐπέταττεν αὐτῷ, τέθνηκεν, καὶ πλησίον Ἡρακλέους νεὼς οἰκέτου ὄντος καὶ Εὐρυσθέως τάφος τοῦ δεσπότου αὐτοῦ, καὶ πάλιν ἐν Θήβαις Διόνυσος μὲν θεός, οἱ δʼ ἀνεψιοὶ αὐτοῦ ὁ Πενθεὺς καὶ ὁ Ἀκταίων καὶ ὁ Λέαρχος ἀνθρώπων ἁπάντων κακοδαιμονέστατοι.
And the matter is most ridiculous when someone suddenly hears that Heracles indeed was declared a god, but Eurystheus, who used to command him, is dead, and near the temple of Heracles, who was a servant, is the tomb of Eurystheus, his master; and again in Thebes Dionysus indeed is a god, while his cousins Pentheus, Actaeon, and Learchus are the most ill-fated of all men.
§8Μῶμος
ἀφʼ οὗ δὲ ἅπαξ σύ, ὦ Ζεῦ, ἀνέῳξας τοῖς τοιούτοις τὰς θύρας καὶ ἐπὶ τὰς θνητὰς ἐτράπου, ἅπαντες μεμίμηνταί σε, καὶ οὐχ οἱ ἄρρενες μόνον, ἀλλʼ, ὅπερ αἴσχιστον, καὶ αἱ θήλειαι θεοί.
Momus And ever since you once, Zeus, opened the doors to such as these and turned to mortal women, everyone has imitated you, and not only the males, but, what is most shameful, also the female gods.
τίς γὰρ οὐκ οἶδεν τὸν Ἀγχίσην καὶ τὸν Τιθωνὸν καὶ τὸν Ἐνδυμίωνα καὶ τὸν Ἰασίωνα καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους;
For who does not know Anchises, Tithonus, Endymion, Iasion, and the others?
ὥστε ταῦτα μὲν ἐάσειν μοι δοκῶ· μακρὸν γὰρ ἂν τὸ διελέγχειν γένοιτο.
So I think I will let these things pass; for to expose them would be a long story.
Ζεύς
μηδὲν περὶ τοῦ Γανυμήδους, ὦ Μῶμε, εἴπῃς· χαλεπανῶ γὰρ εἰ λυπήσεις τὸ μειράκιον ὀνειδίσας ἐς τὸ γένος.
Zeus Say nothing about Ganymede, Momus; for I shall be angry if you grieve the lad by reproaching him with his birth.
Μῶμος
οὐκοῦν μηδὲ περὶ τοῦ ἀετοῦ εἴπω, ὅτι καὶ οὗτος ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ ἐστιν, ἐπὶ τοῦ βασιλείου σκήπτρου καθεζόμενος καὶ μονονουχὶ ἐπὶ κεφαλήν σοι νεοττεύων, θεὸς εἶναι δοκῶν;
Momus Then neither let me speak about the eagle, that he also is in heaven, perched upon the royal sceptre and almost nesting upon your head, seeming to be a god?