§9Μῶμος
ἢ καὶ τοῦτον τοῦ Γανυμήδους ἕνεκα ἐάσομεν;
Momus Or shall we let this one [the eagle] pass as well for Ganymede's sake?
ἀλλʼ ὁ Ἄττης γε, ὦ Ζεῦ, καὶ ὁ Κορύβας καὶ ὁ Σαβάζιος, πόθεν ἡμῖν ἐπεισεκυκλήθησαν οὗτοι, ἢ ὁ Μίθρης ἐκεῖνος, ὁ Μῆδος, ὁ τὸν κάνδυν καὶ τὴν τιάραν, οὐδὲ ἑλληνίζων τῇ φωνῇ, ὥστε οὐδʼ ἢν προπίῃ τις ξυνίησι;
But Attis, O Zeus, and Corybas and Sabazius, whence have they been smuggled in upon us, or that Mithras, the Mede, the one with the caftan and the tiara, who does not even speak Greek, so that he does not even understand if someone proposes a toast to him?
τοιγαροῦν οἱ Σκύθαι ταῦτα ὁρῶντες, οἱ Γέται αὐτῶν, μακρὰ ἡμῖν χαίρειν εἰπόντες αὐτοὶ ἀπαθανατίζουσι καὶ θεοὺς χειροτονοῦσιν οὓς ἂν ἐθελήσωσι, τὸν αὐτὸν τρόπον ὅνπερ καὶ Ζάμολξις δοῦλος ὢν παρενεγράφη οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως διαλαθών.
Therefore the Scythians, and the Getae among them, seeing these things, having bid us a long farewell, themselves deify and elect as gods whomever they wish, in the same manner as Zamolxis, though he was a slave, was enrolled, slipping in I know not how.
§10Μῶμος
καίτοι πάντα ταῦτα, ὦ θεοί, μέτρια.
Momus And yet all these things, O gods, are moderate.
σὺ δέ, ὦ κυνοπρόσωπε καὶ σινδόσιν ἐσταλμένε Αἰγύπτιε, τίς εἶ, ὦ βέλτιστε, ἢ πῶς ἀξιοῖς θεὸς εἶναι ὑλακτῶν;
But you, O dog-faced and linen-shrouded Egyptian, who are you, my good sir, or how do you claim to be a god while barking?
τί δὲ βουλόμενος καὶ ὁ ποικίλος οὗτος ταῦρος ὁ Μεμφίτης προσκυνεῖται καὶ χρᾷ καὶ προφήτας ἔχει;
And with what intention is this speckled bull of Memphis worshipped, and why does he deliver oracles and have prophets?
αἰσχύνομαι γὰρ ἴβιδας καὶ πιθήκους εἰπεῖν καὶ τράγους καὶ ἄλλα πολλῷ γελοιότερα οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως ἐξ Αἰγύπτου παραβυσθέντα ἐς τὸν οὐρανόν, ἃ ὑμεῖς, ὦ θεοί, πῶς ἀνέχεσθε ὁρῶντες ἐπʼ ἴσης ἢ καὶ μᾶλλον ὑμῶν προσκυνούμενα;
For I am ashamed to mention ibises and apes and goats and other far more ridiculous things smuggled in, I know not how, from Egypt into heaven, which you, O gods, how do you tolerate seeing them worshipped on equal terms with, or even more than, yourselves?
ἢ σύ, ὦ Ζεῦ, πῶς φέρεις ἐπειδὰν κριοῦ κέρατα φύσωσί σοι;
Or you, Zeus, how do you bear it when they grow ram's horns on you?
§11Ζεύς
αἰσχρὰ ὡς ἀληθῶς ταῦτα φὴς τὰ περὶ τῶν Αἰγυπτίων· ὅμως δʼ οὖν, ὦ Μῶμε, τὰ πολλὰ αὐτῶν αἰνίγματά ἐστιν, καὶ οὐ πάνυ χρὴ καταγελᾶν ἀμύητον ὄντα.
Zeus Shameful indeed are these things you say about the Egyptians; nevertheless, Momus, most of them are riddles, and it is not at all proper for one who is uninitiated to laugh at them.
Μῶμος
πάνυ γοῦν μυστηρίων, ὦ Ζεῦ, δεῖ ἡμῖν, ὡς εἰδέναι θεοὺς μὲν τοὺς θεούς, κυνοκεφάλους δὲ τοὺς κυνοκεφάλους.
Momus We certainly have great need of mysteries, Zeus, so that we may know gods to be gods, and dog-headed ones to be dog-headed ones!
Ζεύς
ἔα, φημί, τὰ περὶ Αἰγυπτίων· ἄλλοτε γὰρ περὶ τούτων ἐπισκεψόμεθα ἐπὶ σχολῆς.
Zeus Let be, I say, the matters of the Egyptians; for we will examine these at leisure another time.
σὺ δὲ τοὺς ἄλλους λέγε.
You speak of the others.
§12Μῶμος
τὸν Τροφώνιον, ὦ Ζεῦ, καὶ ὃ μάλιστά με ἀποπνίγει, τὸν Ἀμφίλοχον, ὃς ἐναγοῦς ἀνθρώπου καὶ μητρολῴου υἱὸς ὢν μαντεύεται ὁ γενναῖος ἐν Κιλικίᾳ, ψευδόμενος τὰ πολλὰ καὶ γοητεύων τοῖν δυοῖν ὀβολοῖν ἕνεκα.
Momus Trophonius, Zeus, and what chokes me most of all, Amphilochus, who, being the son of an accursed man and a matricide, delivers oracles, noble fellow that he is, in Cilicia, lying for the most part and playing the cheat for the sake of two obols.
τοιγαροῦν οὐκέτι σύ, ὦ Ἄπολλον, εὐδοκιμεῖς, ἀλλὰ ἤδη πᾶς λίθος καὶ πᾶς βωμὸς χρησμῳδεῖ, ὃς ἂν ἐλαίῳ περιχυθῇ καὶ στεφάνους ἔχῃ καὶ γόητος ἀνδρὸς εὐπορήσῃ, οἷοι πολλοί εἰσιν.
Therefore you, Apollo, are no longer in repute, but already every stone and every altar delivers oracles, if only it is drenched with oil, has crowns, and finds a plentiful supply of a trickster, of whom there are many.
ἤδη καὶ ὁ Πολυδάμαντος τοῦ ἀθλητοῦ ἀνδριὰς ἰᾶται τοὺς πυρέττοντας ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ καὶ ὁ Θεαγένους ἐν Θάσῳ, καὶ Ἕκτορι θύουσιν ἐν Ἰλίῳ καὶ Πρωτεσιλάῳ καταντικρὺ ἐν Χερρονήσῳ.
Already even the statue of Polydamas the athlete heals those with fevers in Olympia, and that of Theagenes in Thasos; and they sacrifice to Hector in Ilium, and to Protesilaus right opposite in the Chersonese.
ἀφʼ οὗ δʼ οὖν τοσοῦτοι γεγόναμεν, ἐπιδέδωκε μᾶλλον ἡ ἐπιορκία καὶ ἱεροσυλία, καὶ ὅλως καταπεφρονήκασιν ἡμῶν — εὖ ποιοῦντες.
Ever since we have become so many, perjury and sacrilege have increased all the more, and they have utterly despised us — and rightly so.
§13Μῶμος
καὶ ταῦτα μὲν περὶ τῶν νόθων καὶ παρεγγράπτων.
Momus So much for the bastards and the falsely enrolled.
ἐγὼ δὲ καὶ ξένα ὀνόματα πολλὰ ἤδη ἀκούων οὔτε ὄντων τινῶν παρʼ ἡμῖν οὔτε συστῆναι ὅλως δυναμένων, πάνυ, ὦ Ζεῦ, καὶ ἐπὶ τούτοις γελῶ.
But I, hearing already many strange names of things that neither exist among us nor are capable of existing at all, laugh very much at these also, Zeus.
ἢ ποῦ γάρ ἐστιν ἡ πολυθρύλητος ἀρετὴ καὶ φύσις καὶ εἱμαρμένη καὶ τύχη, ἀνυπόστατα καὶ κενὰ πραγμάτων ὀνόματα ὑπὸ βλακῶν ἀνθρώπων τῶν φιλοσόφων ἐπινοηθέντα;
For where is that much-talked-of virtue, and nature, and fate, and fortune — unsubstantial and empty names of things invented by foolish men, the philosophers?
καὶ ὅμως αὐτοσχέδια ὄντα οὕτω τοὺς ἀνοήτους πέπεικεν, ὥστε οὐδεὶς ἡμῖν οὐδὲ θύειν βούλεται, εἰδὼς ὅτι, κἂν μυρίας ἑκατόμβας παραστήσῃ, ὅμως τὴν τύχην πράξουσαν τὰ μεμοιραμένα καὶ ἃ ἐξ ἀρχῆς ἑκάστῳ ἐπεκλώσθη.
And yet, though they are mere makeshifts, they have so persuaded the foolish that no one even wants to sacrifice to us, knowing that, even if he should present ten thousand hecatombs, fortune will nevertheless execute what has been destined and what was spun for each from the beginning.
ἡδέως ἂν οὖν ἐροίμην σε, ὦ Ζεῦ, εἴ που εἶδες ἢ ἀρετὴν ἢ φύσιν ἢ εἱμαρμένην;
So I would gladly ask you, O Zeus, if you have ever seen either virtue or nature or fate anywhere?
ὅτι μὲν γὰρ ἀεὶ καὶ σὺ ἀκούεις ἐν ταῖς τῶν φιλοσόφων διατριβαῖς, οἶδα, εἰ μὴ καὶ κωφός τις εἶ, ὡς βοώντων αὐτῶν μὴ ἐπαΐειν.
For that you also always hear them in the schools of the philosophers, I know, unless you are so deaf as not to hear them shouting.
πολλὰ ἔτι ἔχων εἰπεῖν καταπαύσω τὸν λόγον· ὁρῶ γοῦν πολλοὺς ἀχθομένους μοι λέγοντι καὶ συρίττοντας, ἐκείνους μάλιστα ὧν καθήψατο ἡ παρρησία τῶν λόγων.
Though I still have much to say, I will stop my speech; for I see many displeased with my speaking and hissing, especially those whom the frankness of my words has touched.