§9Λεξιφάνης
καὶ ἐν ταὐτῷ λελουμένοι εἰσεκώμασαν ἡμῖν αὐτεπάγγελτοι Μεγαλώνυμός τε ὁ δικοδίφης καὶ Χαιρέας ὁ χρυσοτέκτων ὁ κατὰ νώτου ποικίλος καὶ ὁ ὠτοκάταξις Εὔδημος.
Lexiphanes And at the same time, having bathed, Megalonymus the law-shoveler, Chaereas the goldsmith with the scarred back, and Eudemus with the battered ears burst in upon us uninvited as revelers.
κἀγὼ ἠρόμην αὐτούς, τί παθόντες ὀψὲ ἥκοιεν.
And I asked them what had happened to them that they came so late.
ὁ μὲν οὖν Χαιρέας,
ἐγώ,
ἦ δʼ ὅς,
λῆρόν τινα ἐκρότουν καὶ ἐλλόβια καὶ πέδας τῇ θυγατρὶ τῇ ἐμῇ καὶ διὰ τοῦτο ὑμῖν ἐπιδείπνιος ἀφῖγμαι,
ἐγὼ δέ,
ἦ δʼ ὃς ὁ Μεγαλώνυμος,
περὶ ἄλλα εἶχον·
Thereupon Chaereas said, "I," said he, "was hammering out some trinkets, earrings, and anklets for my daughter, and because of this, I have arrived to join you after dinner." "But I," said Megalonymus, "was busy with other things.
ἦν μὲν γὰρ ἄδικος ἡ ἡμέρα, ὡς ἴστε, καὶ ἄλογος·
For the day was a non-court day, as you know, and a day without speeches.
ὡς ἂν οὖν ἐχεγλωττίας οὔσης οὔτε ῥησιμετρεῖν εἶχον οὔτε ἡμερολεγδὸν προσυδρονομεῖσθαι·
Since there was a silence enforced, I could neither speak by the water-clock, nor receive my daily allotment of water-allowance.
πυθόμενος δὲ ὅτι ὁ στρατηγὸς ὀπτός ἐστιν, λαβὼν ἄχρηστα ἱμάτια εὐήτρια καὶ ἀφόρητα ὑποδήματα ἐξέφρησα ἐμαυτόν. §10Λεξιφάνης
εἶτʼ εὐθὺς ἐντυγχάνω δᾳδούχῳ τε καὶ ἱεροφάντῃ καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις ἀρρητοποιοῖς Δεινίαν σύρουσιν ἄγδην ἐπὶ τὴν ἀρχήν, ἔγκλημα ἐπάγοντας ὅτι ὠνόμαζεν αὐτούς, καὶ ταῦτα εὖ εἰδὼς ὅτι ἐξ οὗπερ ὡσιώθησαν, ἀνώνυμοί τέ εἰσι καὶ οὐκέτι ὀνομαστοὶ ὡς ἂν ἱερώνυμοι ἤδη γεγενημένοι. οὐκ οἶδα,
ἦν δʼ ἐγώ,
ὃν λέγεις τὸν Δεινίαν· αἰκάλλει δʼ οὖν με τοὔνομα. ἔστιν,
ἦ δʼ ὅς,
ἐν τοῖς σκιραφείοις ἐγκαψικήδαλος ἄνθρωπος τῶν αὐτοληκύθων καὶ τῶν αὐτοκαβδάλων, ἀεὶ κουριῶν, ἐνδρομίδας ὑποδούμενος ἢ βαυκίδας, ἀμφιμάσχαλον ἔχων.
But having learned that the general was visible, taking unused fine-woven cloaks and unworn shoes, I let myself out." Lexiphanes "Then immediately I ran into the torch-bearer, the hierophant, and the other initiators dragging Deinias by force to the magistrate, bringing a charge against him that he called them by name, and that too, though he well knew that since they were consecrated, they are nameless and no longer to be named, as they have now become sacred-named." "I do not know," said I, "the Deinias you speak of; though the name tickles my fancy." "He is," said he, "a man who gulps down garlic-sauce in the gambling dens, one of those self-lubricating, rough-and-ready fellows, always needing a haircut, wearing boots or ladies' slippers, and having a one-sleeved tunic." "What then?" said I.
τί οὖν,
ἦν δʼ ἐγώ,
ἔδωκεν ἀμηγέπη δίκην ἢ λὰξ πατήσας ᾤχετο; καὶ μὴν ἐκεῖνός γε,
ἦ δʼ ὅς,
ὁ τέως σαυλούμενος, ἤδη ἔμπεδός ἐστιν· ὁ γὰρ στρατηγὸς καίτοι ἀτιμαγελοῦντι καρπόδεσμά τε αὐτῷ περιθεὶς καὶ περιδέραιον ἐν ποδοκάκαις καὶ ποδοστράβαις ἐποίησεν εἶναι.
"Did he pay the penalty in some way, or did he kick up his heels and get away?" "Indeed, that fellow," said he, "who used to swagger so, is now fast bound; for the general, although he was a stray from the herd, put handcuffs on him and a collar, and made him stay in the stocks and foot-shackles.
ὥστε ἔνδεσμος ὢν ὑπέβδυλλέν τε ὁ κακοδαίμων ὑπὸ τοῦ δέους καὶ πορδαλέος ἦν καὶ χρήματα ἀντίψυχα διδόναι ἤθελεν. §11Λεξιφάνης
ἐμὲ δέ,
ἦ δʼ ὃς ὁ Εὔδημος,
ὑπὸ τὸ ἀκροκνεφὲς μετεστείλατο Δαμασίας ὁ πάλαι μὲν ἀθλητὴς καὶ πολυνίκης, νῦν δὲ ἤδη ὑπὸ γήρως ἔξαθλος ὤν·
So, being bound, the miserable wretch was letting off gas from fear and farting, and was willing to pay ransom for his life." Lexiphanes "And as for me," said Eudemus, "just at dusk, I was sent for by Damasias, the former athlete and multiple victor, but now retired because of old age—you know the bronze statue standing in the marketplace.
οἶσθα τὸν χαλκοῦν τὸν ἑστῶτα ἐν τῇ ἀγορᾷ. καὶ τὰ μὲν πιττῶν τὰ δὲ εὕων διετέλεσεν, ἐξοικιεῖν γὰρ ἔμελλε τήμερον εἰς ἀνδρὸς τὴν θυγατέρα καὶ ἤδη ἐκάλλυνεν αὐτήν.
He spent his time partly plucking with pitch, partly singeing his daughter's hair, for he was about to give her away today to a husband and was already beautifying her.
εἶτα Τερμέριόν τι κακὸν ἐμπεσὸν διέκοψε τὴν ἑορτήν· ὁ γὰρ υἱὸς αὐτοῦ ὁ Δίων, οὐκ οἶδʼ ἐφʼ ὅτῳ λυπηθείς, μᾶλλον δὲ θεοσεχθρίᾳ σχεθείς, ἀπῆγξεν ἑαυτόν, καὶ εὖ ἴστε, ἀπωλώλει ἄν, εἰ μὴ ἐγὼ ἐπιστὰς ἀπηγχόνισά τε αὐτὸν καὶ παρέλυσα τῆς ἐμβροχῆς, ἐπὶ πολύ τε ὀκλὰξ παρακαθήμενος ἐπένυσσον τὸν ἄνθρωπον, βαυκαλῶν καὶ διακωδωνίζων, μή πῃ ἔτι συνεχὴς εἴη τὴν φάρυγγα.
Then a Termerian disaster fell upon them and broke up the feast; for his son Dion, vexed at I know not what, or rather seized by some hatred of the gods, hanged himself. And be assured, he would have perished, had I not come upon him, cut him down, and released him from the noose, and for a long time sat squatting beside him, prodding the man, soothing him and testing him, lest his throat should still be blocked in some way.
τὸ δὲ μάλιστα ὀνῆσαν ἐκεῖνο ἦν, ὅτι ἀμφοτέραις κατασχὼν αὐτοῦ τὰ ἄκρα διεπίεσα. §12Λεξιφάνης
μῶν ἐκεῖνον,
ἦν δʼ ἐγώ,
φὴς Δίωνα τὸν καταπύγονα καὶ λακκοσχέαν, τὸν μύρτωνα καὶ σχινοτρώκταν νεανίσκον, ἀναφλῶντα καὶ βλιμάζοντα, ἤν τινα πεώδη καὶ πόσθωνα αἴσθηται; μίνθων ἐκεῖνός γε καὶ λαικαλέος. ἀλλὰ τοί γε τὴν θεόν,
ἦ δʼ ὃς ὁ Εὔδημος,
θαυμάσας — Ἄρτεμις γάρ ἐστιν αὐτοῖς ἐν μέσῃ τῇ αὐλῇ, Σκοπάδειον ἔργον — ταύτῃ προσπεσόντες ὅ τε Δαμασίας καὶ ἡ γυνὴ αὐτοῦ, πρεσβῦτις ἤδη καὶ τὴν κεφαλὴν πολιὰς ἀκριβῶς, ἱκέτευον ἐλεῆσαι σφᾶς·
And what helped most was that I gripped his extremities with both hands and squeezed them hard." Lexiphanes "Surely you do not mean," said I, "that Dion, the lewd and baggy-trousered fellow, that youth who plucks his hair and chews mastic, who masturbates and fondles whenever he notices someone well-endowed?" "He is a complete nonentity and a catamite." "But at any rate, out of respect for the goddess," said Eudemus, "for they have an Artemis in the middle of their courtyard, a work of Scopas—Damasias and his wife, already an old woman with hair completely grey, fell down before her and begged her to have mercy on them.
ἡ δὲ αὐτίκα ἐπένευσεν, καὶ σῶς ἦν, καὶ νῦν Θεόδωρον, μᾶλλον δὲ περιφανῶς Ἀρτεμίδωρον ἔχουσι τὸν νεανίσκον.
And she immediately nodded assent, and he was safe, and now they have the young man as a 'gift of God', or rather, quite clearly, as a 'gift of Artemis'.
ἀνέθεσαν οὖν αὐτῇ τά τε ἄλλα καὶ βέλη καὶ τόξα, ὅτι χαίρει τούτοις· τοξότις γὰρ καὶ ἑκηβόλος καὶ τηλέμαχος ἡ Ἄρτεμις.
So they dedicated to her, among other things, arrows and bows, because she delights in these; for Artemis is an archer, a far-shooter, and a far-fighter."