§12Ζεύς
οὐδέπω μοι λέγεις, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, τίνα ἠδίκησαι, ἀλλὰ ἀγανακτεῖς μόνον. Φιλοσοφία
καὶ μὴν ἄκουε, ὦ Ζεῦ, ἡλίκα ἐστίν.
Zeus: "Philosophy, you do not yet tell me what wrongs you have suffered, but you only show anger." Philosophy: "Indeed, hear, Zeus, how great they are.
μιαρὸν γάρ τι φῦλον ἀνθρώπων καὶ ὡς τὸ πολὺ δουλικὸν καὶ θητικόν, οὐ ξυγγενόμενον ἡμῖν ἐκ παίδων ὑπʼ ἀσχολίας· ἐδούλευεν γὰρ ἢ ἐθήτευεν ἢ ἄλλας τινὰς τέχνας οἵας εἰκὸς τοὺς τοιούτους ἐμάνθανεν, σκυτεύειν ἢ τεκταίνειν ἢ περὶ πλυνοὺς ἔχειν ἢ ἔρια ξαίνειν, ὡς εὐεργὰ εἴη ταῖς γυναιξὶν καὶ εὐμήρυτα καὶ κατάγοιτο εὐμαρῶς ὁπότε ἢ κρόκην ἐκεῖναι στρέφοιεν ἢ μίτον κλώθοιεν.
For it is a filthy race of men, and for the most part slavish and menial, who have not associated with us from childhood due to lack of leisure; for they were slaving or working for hire, or learning some other crafts such as are natural for such people to learn, shoemaking or carpentry, or being busy with wash-vats, or carding wool so that it might be easy for women to work and wind, and easily drawn down whenever they twist the woof or spin the thread.
τοιαῦτα τοίνυν ἐν παισὶ μελετῶντες οὐδὲ ὄνομα τὸ ἡμέτερον ᾔδεσαν.
Practicing such things among children, they did not even know our name.
ἐπεὶ δὲ εἰς ἄνδρας τελεῖν ἤρξαντο καὶ κατεῖδον τὴν αἰδῶ, ὅση παρὰ τῶν πολλῶν ἐστιν τοῖς ἑταίροις τοῖς ἐμοῖς, καὶ ὡς ἀνέχονται οἱ ἄνθρωποι τὴν παρρησίαν αὐτῶν καὶ χαίρουσιν θεραπευόμενοι καὶ συμβουλεύουσι πείθονται καὶ ἐπιτιμώντων ὑποπτήσσουσι, ταῦτα πάντα τυραννίδα οὐ μικρὰν ἡγοῦντο εἶναι.
But when they began to be registered among men and saw the respect that my companions have from the multitude, and how people tolerate their frankness and delight in being cared for, and obey their advice and cower when they rebuke them, they thought all this was no small tyranny.
§13Φιλοσοφία
τὸ μὲν δὴ μανθάνειν ὅσα τῇ τοιαύτῃ προαιρέσει πρόσφορα μακρὸν ἦν, μᾶλλον δὲ κομιδῇ ἀδύνατον, αἱ τέχναι δὲ γλίσχραι, καὶ σὺν πόνῳ καὶ μόγις ἱκανὰ παρέχειν ἐδύναντο.
Philosophy: "Now, to learn what is fitting for such a choice of life was long, or rather altogether impossible, while their crafts were meager, and with labor could scarcely provide enough.
ἐνίοις δὲ καὶ ἡ δουλεία βαρὺ καί (ὥσπερ οὖν ἐστιν) ἀφόρητον ἐφαίνετο.
To some, even slavery seemed heavy and—as indeed it is—intolerable.
ἔδοξε δὴ σκοπουμένοις τὴν ὑστάτην ἄγκυραν, ἣν ἱερὰν οἱ ναυτιλλόμενοί φασιν, καθιέναι, καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν βελτίστην ἀπόνοιαν ὁρμήσαντες, ἔτι τε καὶ τόλμαν καὶ ἀμαθίαν καὶ ἀναισχυντίαν προσπαρακαλέσαντες, αἵπερ αὐτοῖς μάλιστα συναγωνίζονται, καὶ λοιδορίας καινὰς ἐκμελετήσαντες, ὡς πρόχειροι εἶεν καὶ ἀνὰ στόμα, ταύτας μόνας ξυμβολὰς ἔχοντες — ὁρᾷς ὁποῖα πρὸς φιλοσοφίαν ἐφόδια; — σχηματίζουσιν καὶ μετακοσμοῦσιν αὑτοὺς εὖ μάλα εἰκότως καὶ πρὸς ἐμέ, οἷόν τι ἀμέλει ὁ Αἴσωπός φησι ποιῆσαι τὸν ἐν τῇ Κύμῃ ὄνον, ὃς λεοντῆν περιβαλόμενος καὶ τραχὺ ὀγκώμενος ἠξίου λέων καὶ αὐτὸς εἶναι· καί πού τινες καὶ ἦσαν ἴσως οἱ πιστεύοντες αὐτῷ.
Therefore, as they considered, they resolved to let down the last anchor, which sailors call 'sacred,' and rushing into the best kind of desperation, and calling to their aid boldness, ignorance, and impudence, which are their greatest allies, and practicing new insults so that they might be ready and on their tongues, having these alone as their passports—you see what kind of provisions they have for philosophy!—they shape and remodel themselves very plausibly to my likeness, just as Aesop says the ass in Cyme did, who, putting on a lion's skin and braying harshly, claimed to be a lion himself; and perhaps there were indeed some who believed him.
§14Φιλοσοφία
τὰ δʼ ἡμέτερα πάνυ ῥᾷστα, ὡς οἶσθα„ καὶ ἐς μίμησιν πρόχειρα — τὰ προφανῆ λέγω — καὶ οὐ πολλῆς τῆς πραγματείας δεῖ τριβώνιον περιβαλέσθαι καὶ πήραν ἐξαρτήσασθαι καὶ ξύλον ἐν τῇ χειρὶ ἔχειν καὶ βοᾶν, μᾶλλον δὲ ὀγκᾶσθαι ἢ ὑλακτεῖν, καὶ λοιδορεῖσθαι ἅπασιν·
Philosophy: "On the other hand, our affairs are very easy, as you know, and ready for imitation—I mean the conspicuous ones—and it does not require much trouble to put on a coarse cloak, hang a pouch, hold a staff in the hand, and shout, or rather bray or bark, and abuse everyone.
τὴν ἀσφάλειαν γὰρ αὐτοῖς τοῦ μηδὲν ἐπὶ τούτῳ παθεῖν ἡ πρὸς τὸ σχῆμα αἰδὼς παρέξειν ἔμελλεν.
For the safety of suffering nothing on this account was to be provided to them by the respect for their appearance.
ἡ ἐλευθερία δὲ πρόχειρος ἄκοντος τοῦ δεσπότου, κἂν εἰ βούλοιτο ἀπάγειν, παταχθησομένου τῷ ξύλῳ.
Freedom is ready at hand, even against the master's will, and even if he wished to lead them away, he would be struck with the staff.
καὶ τὰ ἄλφιτα οὐκέτʼ ὀλίγα οὐδὲ ὡς πρὸ τοῦ μᾶζα ψιλή, τὸ δὲ ὄψον οὐ τάριχος ἢ θύμον, ἀλλὰ κρέα παντοδαπὰ καὶ οἶνος οἷος ἥδιστος, καὶ χρυσίον παρʼ ὅτου ἂν ἐθέλωσι· δασμολογοῦσι γὰρ ἐπιφοιτῶντες ἤ, ὡς αὐτοί φασιν, ἀποκείρουσιν τὰ πρόβατα, δώσειν τε πολλοὺς οἴονται ἢ αἰδοῖ τοῦ σχήματος ἢ δέει τοῦ μὴ ἀκοῦσαι κακῶς.
And the barley meal is no longer scarce, nor is it a plain cake as before, and the relish is not salt-fish or thyme, but all kinds of meat and the sweetest wine, and money from whomever they wish; for they collect tribute by visiting them or, as they themselves say, shear the sheep, and they think that many will give either out of respect for their appearance or fear of being ill-spoken of.
§15Φιλοσοφία
καὶ γὰρ αὖ κἀκεῖνο ἑώρων, οἶμαι, ὡς ἐξ ἴσου καταστήσονται τοῖς ὀρθῶς φιλοσοφοῦσιν, οὐδέ τις ὁ δικάσων καὶ διακρινῶν τὰ τοιαῦτα ἔσται, ἢν μόνον τὰ ἔξω ᾖ ὅμοια.
Philosophy: "And indeed, they also saw, I think, that they would place themselves on an equal footing with those who philosophize rightly, and there would be no one to judge and distinguish such matters, if only the outward things were similar.
ἀρχὴν γὰρ οὐδὲ τὸν ἔλεγχον δέχονται, ἢν ἔρηταί τις οὑτωσὶ κοσμίως καὶ κατὰ βραχύ, ἀλλʼ εὐθὺς βοῶσιν καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν ἀκρόπολιν τὴν ἑαυτῶν ἀναφεύγουσι, τὴν λοιδορίαν, καὶ πρόχειρον τὸ ξύλον.
For they do not accept examination at all, even if someone asks them in a gentle and brief manner, but immediately they shout and flee to their own acropolis, abuse, and the staff is ready.
καὶ ἢν μὲν τὰ ἔργα ζητῇς, οἱ λόγοι πολλοί, ἢν δὲ ἀπὸ τῶν λόγων κρίνειν ἐθέλῃς, τὸν βίον ἀξιοῦσι σκοπεῖν.
And if you investigate their deeds, their words are many; but if you wish to judge from their words, they demand that you look at their life.
§16Φιλοσοφία
τοιγαροῦν ἐμπέπλησται πᾶσα πόλις τῆς τοιαύτης ῥᾳδιουργίας, καὶ μάλιστα τῶν Διογένη καὶ Ἀντισθένη καὶ Κράτητα ἐπιγραφομένων καὶ ὑπὸ τῷ κυνὶ ταττομένων, οἳ τὸ μὲν χρήσιμον ὁπόσον ἔνεστι τῇ φύσει τῶν κυνῶν, οἷον τὸ φυλακτικὸν ἢ οἰκουρικὸν ἢ φιλοδέσποτον ἢ μνημονικόν, οὐδαμῶς ἐζηλώκασιν, ὑλακὴν δὲ καὶ λιχνείαν καὶ ἁρπαγὴν καὶ ἀφροδίσια συχνὰ καὶ κολακείαν καὶ τὸ σαίνειν τὸν διδόντα καὶ περὶ τραπέζας ἔχειν, ταῦτα ἀκριβῶς ἐκπεπονήκασιν.
Philosophy: "Therefore, every city is filled with such trickery, and especially with those who write the names of Diogenes, Antisthenes, and Crates over themselves, and marshal themselves under the Dog, who have in no way emulated whatever is useful in the nature of dogs, such as watchfulness, guarding the house, love for the master, or memory, but have thoroughly mastered barking, greediness, snatching, frequent love affairs, flattery, wagging the tail to the one who gives, and hanging around tables."