§17μέτει δὲ ἀπόρρητα καὶ ξένα ῥήματα, σπανιάκις ὑπὸ τῶν πάλαι εἰρημένα, καὶ ταῦτα συμφορήσας ἀποτόξευε προχειριζόμενος εἰς τοὺς προσομιλοῦντας.
Search out also secret and foreign words, rarely spoken by the men of old, and having collected them, shoot them like arrows, having them ready at hand for those you converse with.
οὕτω γάρ σε ὁ λεὼς ὁ πολὺς ἀποβλέψονται καὶ θαυμαστὸν ὑπολήψονται καὶ τὴν παιδείαν ὑπὲρ αὐτούς, εἰ
ἀποστλεγγίσασθαι τὸ
ἀποξύσασθαι λέγοις, τὸ δὲ ἡλίῳ θέρεσθαι
εἱληθερεῖσθαι,
τὸν ἀρραβῶνα δὲ
προνόμιον,
τὸν ὄρθρον δὲ
ἀκροκνεφές. ἐνίοτε δὲ καὶ αὐτὸς ποίει καινὰ καὶ ἀλλόκοτα ὀνόματα καὶ νομοθέτει τὸν μὲν ἑρμηνεῦσαι δεινὸν
εὔλεξιν
καλεῖν, τὸν συνετὸν
σοφόνουν,
τὸν ὀρχηστὴν δὲ
χειρίσοφον.
For in this way the common people will look up to you and hold you in wonder, and regard your education as far beyond them, if you should say "to scrape oneself with a strigil" instead of "to scrape oneself," and "to bask in the sun's heat" instead of "to warm oneself in the sun," and "pre-privilege" instead of "earnest-money," and "dusk" instead of "dawn." And sometimes make new and strange words yourself, and lay down the law to call one who is clever at speaking "eloquent," a sensible person "wise-minded," and a dancer "hand-wise." And if you make a solecism or a barbarism, let your one remedy be shamelessness, and have ready at once the name of some poet or prose writer who never existed nor ever was born, a wise man who approved of speaking thus and had polished his language to the highest degree.
ἂν σολοικίσῃς δὲ ἢ βαρβαρίσῃς, ἓν ἔστω φάρμακον ἡ ἀναισχυντία, καὶ πρόχειρον εὐθὺς ὄνομα οὔτε ὄντος τινὸς οὔτε γενομένου ποτέ, ἢ ποιητοῦ ἢ συγγραφέως, ὃς οὕτω λέγειν ἐδοκίμαζε σοφὸς ἀνὴρ καὶ τὴν φωνὴν εἰς τὸ ἀκρότατον ἀπηκριβωμένος.
But do not read the ancient writers—not you indeed!
ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀναγίγνωσκε τὰ παλαιὰ μὲν μὴ σύ γε, μηδὲ εἴ τι ὁ λῆρος Ἰσοκράτης ἢ ὁ χαρίτων ἄμοιρος Δημοσθένης ἢ ὁ ψυχρὸς Πλάτων, ἀλλὰ τοὺς τῶν ὀλίγον πρὸ ἡμῶν λόγους καὶ ἅς φασι ταύτας μελέτας, ὡς ἔχῃς ἀπʼ ἐκείνων ἐπισιτισάμενος ἐν καιρῷ καταχρῆσθαι καθάπερ ἐκ ταμιείου προαιρῶν.
Not even if there is anything by that babbler Isocrates, or Demosthenes who is devoid of grace, or the cold Plato; but read the speeches of those shortly before our time and these declamations, as they call them, so that having provisioned yourself from them, you may use them at the right time, drawing them out as if from a storehouse.
§18ἐπειδὰν δὲ καὶ δέῃ λέγειν καὶ οἱ παρόντες ὑποβάλωσί τινας ὑποθέσεις καὶ ἀφορμὰς τῶν λόγων, ἅπαντα μὲν ὁπόσα ἂν ᾖ δυσχερῆ, ψεγέσθω καὶ ἐκφαυλιζέσθω ὡς οὐδὲν ὅλως ἀνδρῶδες αὐτῶν.
And whenever it is necessary to speak, and those present suggest some subjects and starting points for speeches, let all those that are difficult be blamed and disparaged as having nothing manly about them.
ἑλομένων δέ, μὴ μελλήσας λέγε ὅττι κεν ἐπʼ ἀκαιρίμαν γλῶτταν ἔλθῃ, μηδὲν ἐκείνων ἐπιμεληθείς, ὡς τὸ πρῶτον, ὥσπερ οὖν καὶ ἔστι πρῶτον, ἐρεῖς ἐν καιρῷ προσήκοντι καὶ τὸ δεύτερον μετὰ τοῦτο καὶ τὸ τρίτον μετʼ ἐκεῖνο, ἀλλὰ τὸ πρῶτον ἐμπεσὸν πρῶτον λεγέσθω, καὶ ἢν οὕτω τύχῃ, περὶ τῷ μετώπῳ μὲν ἡ κνημίς, περὶ τῇ κνήμῃ δὲ ἡ κόρυς.
And when they have chosen, speak without delay "whatever comes to your unseasonable tongue," caring nothing for those rules, such as that you will say the first thing—as indeed it is first—at the proper time, and the second after this, and the third after that; but let the first thing that falls in be said first, and if it so happens, let the greave be around the forehead, and the helmet around the shin.
πλὴν ἀλλʼ ἔπειγε καὶ σύνειρε καὶ μὴ σιώπα μόνον.
Nevertheless, hurry on and string your words together and only do not keep silent.
κἂν περὶ ὑβριστοῦ τινος ἢ μοιχοῦ λέγῃς Ἀθήνησι, τὰ ἐν Ἰνδοῖς καὶ Ἐκβατάνοις λεγέσθω.
And even if you are speaking about some insolent man or adulterer at Athens, let the affairs in India and Ecbatana be spoken of.
ἐπὶ πᾶσι δὲ ὁ Μαραθὼν καὶ ὁ Κυνέγειρος, ὧν οὐκ ἄν τι ἄνευ γένοιτο.
And above all, let there be Marathon and Cynegirus, without whom nothing could happen.
καὶ ἀεὶ ὁ Ἄθως πλείσθω καὶ ὁ Ἑλλήσποντος πεζευέσθω καὶ ὁ ἥλιος ὑπὸ τῶν Μηδικῶν βελῶν σκεπέσθω καὶ Ξέρξης φευγέτω καὶ Λεωνίδας θαυμαζέσθω καὶ τὰ Ὀθρυάδου γράμματα ἀναγιγνωσκέσθω, καὶ ἡ Σαλαμὶς καὶ τὸ Ἀρτεμίσιον καὶ αἱ Πλαταιαὶ πολλὰ ταῦτα καὶ πυκνά.
And let Athos always be sailed, and the Hellespont be traveled on foot, and the sun be shaded by Persian arrows, and Xerxes flee, and Leonidas be admired, and the letters of Othryades be read, and Salamis, Artemision, and Plataea—these, many and frequent.
καὶ ἐπὶ πᾶσι τὰ ὀλίγα ἐκεῖνα ὀνόματα ἐπιπολαζέτω καὶ ἐπανθείτω, καὶ συνεχὲς τὸ ἄττα καὶ τὸ δήπουθεν, κἂν μηδὲν αὐτῶν δέῃ· καλὰ γάρ ἐστι καὶ εἰκῆ λεγόμενα.
And in all things, let those few words float on the surface and blossom, and let 'atta' and 'depouthen' be continuous, even if there is no need of them; for they are beautiful even when spoken at random.
§19ἢν δέ ποτε καὶ ᾆσαι καιρὸς εἶναι δοκῇ, πάντα σοι ᾀδέσθω καὶ μέλος γιγνέσθω.
And if ever it seems to be the right time to sing, let everything be sung by you and become a melody.
κἄν ποτε ἀπορήσῃς πράγματος ᾠδικοῦ, τοὺς ἄνδρας τοὺς δικαστὰς ὀνομάσας ἐμμελῶς πεπληρωκέναι οἴου τὴν ἁρμονίαν.
And if you are ever at a loss for something songlike, think that by calling the gentlemen of the jury in a melodious voice, you have fully satisfied the harmony.
τὸ δὲ οἴμοι τῶν κακῶν πολλάκις, καὶ ὁ μηρὸς πατασσέσθω, καὶ λαρύγγιζε καὶ ἐπιχρέμπτου τοῖς λεγομένοις καὶ βάδιζε μεταφέρων τὴν πυγήν.
And let there be many a "Woe is me for my misfortunes," and let your thigh be beaten, and screech and clear your throat during your speech, and walk about swaying your buttocks.
καὶ ἢν μέν σε μὴ ἐπαινῶσιν, ἀγανάκτει καὶ λοιδοροῦ αὐτοῖς· ἢν δὲ ὀρθοὶ ἑστήκωσιν ὑπὸ τῆς αἰσχύνης ἤδη πρὸς τὴν ἔξοδον ἕτοιμοι, καθέζεσθαι κέλευε, καὶ ὅλως τυραννὶς τὸ πρᾶγμα ἔστω.
And if they do not praise you, be indignant and abuse them; and if they stand upright, ready for the exit out of shame, command them to sit down, and in short, let the business be a tyranny.
§20ὅπως δὲ καὶ τὸ πλῆθος τῶν λόγων θαυμάζωσιν, ἀπὸ τῶν Ἰλιακῶν ἀρξάμενος ἢ καὶ νὴ Δία ἀπὸ τῶν Δευκαλίωνος καὶ Πύρρας γάμων, ἢν δοκῇ, καταβίβαζε τὸν λόγον ἐπὶ τὰ νῦν καθεστῶτα.
And so that they may also wonder at the abundance of your speeches, beginning from the Trojan affairs, or indeed, by Zeus, from the marriage of Deucalion and Pyrrha, if it pleases you, bring your speech down to the present state of affairs.
οἱ μὲν γὰρ συνιέντες ὀλίγοι, οἳ μάλιστα μὲν σιωπήσονται ὑπʼ εὐγνωμοσύνης· ἢν δὲ καὶ λέγωσί τι, ὑπὸ φθόνου αὐτὸ δόξουσι δρᾶν.
For those who understand are few, and they for the most part will keep silent out of decency; and if they do say anything, they will be thought to do so out of envy.
οἱ πολλοὶ δὲ τὸ σχῆμα καὶ φωνὴν καὶ βάδισμα καὶ περίπατον καὶ μέλος καὶ κρηπῖδα καὶ τὸ ἄττα σου ἐκεῖνο τεθήπασι, καὶ τὸν ἱδρῶτα ὁρῶντες καὶ τὸ ἆσθμα οὐκ ἔχουσιν ὅπως ἀπιστήσουσι μὴ οὐχὶ πάνδεινόν τινα ἐν τοῖς λόγοις ἀγωνιστὴν εἶναί σε.
But the majority are astounded by your appearance, voice, gait, walking, melody, shoe, and that 'atta' of yours, and seeing your sweat and panting, they have no way to disbelieve that you are a most formidable combatant in speeches.
ἄλλως τε καὶ τὸ ταχὺ τοῦτο οὐ μικρὰν ἔχει τὴν ἀπολογίαν καὶ θαῦμα παρὰ τοῖς πολλοῖς· ὥστε ὅρα μή ποτε γράψῃς ἢ σκεψάμενος παρέλθῃς, ἔλεγχος γὰρ σαφὴς ταῦτά γε.
Moreover, this speed has no small defense and wonder among the majority; so see that you never write or come forward after reflection, for these things are a clear exposure.