§1καὶ τί σοι πρῶτον, ὦ φιλότης, ἢ τί ὕστατον, φασί, καταλέξω τούτων ἃ πάσχειν ἢ ποιεῖν ἀνάγκη τοὺς ἐπὶ μισθῷ συνόντας κἀν ταῖς τῶν εὐδαιμόνων τούτων φιλίαις ἐξεταζομένους — εἰ χρὴ φιλίαν τὴν τοιαύτην αὐτῶν δουλείαν ἐπονομάζειν;
And what, my friend, shall I recount to you first, or what last, as the saying goes, of those things which must be suffered or done by those who associate for pay and are tested in the friendships of these wealthy men—if indeed one must designate their such slavery as friendship?
οἶδα γὰρ πολλὰ καὶ σχεδὸν τὰ πλεῖστα τῶν συμβαινόντων αὐτοῖς, οὐκ αὐτὸς μὰ Δία τοῦ τοιούτου πειραθείς, οὐ γὰρ ἐν ἀνάγκῃ μοι ἡ πεῖρα ἐγεγένητο, μηδέ, ὦ θεοί, γένοιτο·
For I know many, indeed almost most of the things that happen to them, not having experienced such a thing myself, by Zeus, for there was no necessity for me to have made the trial, nor, O gods, may it ever happen!
ἀλλὰ πολλοὶ τῶν εἰς τὸν βίον τοῦτον ἐμπεπτωκότων ἐξηγόρευον πρός με, οἱ μὲν ἔτι ἐν τῷ κακῷ ὄντες, ἀποδυρόμενοι ὁπόσα καὶ ὁποῖα ἔπασχον, οἱ δὲ ὥσπερ ἐκ δεσμωτηρίου τινὸς ἀποδράντες οὐκ ἀηδῶς μνημονεύοντες ὧν ἐπεπόνθεσαν· ἀλλὰ γὰρ εὐφραίνοντο ἀναλογιζόμενοι οἵων ἀπηλλάγησαν.
But many of those who have fallen into this life disclosed it to me: some still being in the evil, bewailing how many and what kind of things they suffered, and others, as if having escaped from some prison, remembering not unpleasantly what they had suffered; but indeed they rejoiced reflecting on what kind of things they had been delivered from.
ἀξιοπιστότεροι δὲ ἦσαν οὗτοι διὰ πάσης, ὡς εἰπεῖν, τῆς τελετῆς διεξεληλυθότες καὶ πάντα ἐξ ἀρχῆς εἰς τέλος ἐποπτεύσαντες.
And these were more trustworthy, having gone through, so to speak, the entire initiation and having beheld everything from beginning to end.
οὐ παρέργως οὖν οὐδὲ ἀμελῶς ἐπήκουον αὐτῶν καθάπερ ναυαγίαν τινὰ καὶ σωτηρίαν αὑτῶν παράλογον διηγουμένων, οἷοί εἰσιν οἱ πρὸς τοῖς ἱεροῖς ἐξυρημένοι τὰς κεφαλὰς συνάμα πολλοὶ τὰς τρικυμίας καὶ ζάλας καὶ ἀκρωτήρια καὶ ἐκβολὰς καὶ ἱστοῦ κλάσεις καὶ πηδαλίων ἀποκαυλίσεις διεξιόντες, ἐπὶ πᾶσι δὲ τοὺς Διοσκούρους ἐπιφαινομένους, — οἰκεῖοι γὰρ τῆς τοιαύτης τραγῳδίας οὗτοί γε — ἤ τινʼ ἄλλον ἐκ μηχανῆς θεὸν ἐπὶ τῷ καρχησίῳ καθεζόμενον ἢ πρὸς τοῖς πηδαλίοις ἑστῶτα καὶ πρός τινα ᾐόνα μαλακὴν ἀπευθύνοντα τὴν ναῦν, οἷ προσενεχθεῖσα ἔμελλεν αὐτὴ μὲν ἠρέμα καὶ κατὰ σχολὴν διαλυθήσεσθαι, αὐτοὶ δὲ ἀσφαλῶς ἀποβήσεσθαι χάριτι καὶ εὐμενείᾳ τοῦ θεοῦ.
Not carelessly, therefore, nor negligently did I listen to them narrating their shipwreck and their unexpected salvation, just like those who have shaved their heads near the temples, many together narrating the great waves and storms, and headlands, and throwing overboard, and the breaking of the mast and the snapping of rudders, and above all the Dioscuri appearing—for they are indeed suited to such tragedy—or some other deus ex machina sitting on the yard-arm or standing by the rudders and directing the ship to some soft shore, where having been brought she was destined to dissolve gently and at leisure, while they themselves would disembark safely by the favor and goodwill of the god.
ἐκεῖνοι μὲν οὖν τὰ πολλὰ ταῦτα πρὸς τὴν χρείαν τὴν παραυτίκα ἐπιτραγῳδοῦσιν ὡς παρὰ πλειόνων λαμβάνοιεν, οὐ δυστυχεῖς μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ θεοφιλεῖς τινες εἶναι δοκοῦντες·
Those men, therefore, tragicize these many things for immediate use, so that they might receive more, seeming to be not only unfortunate but also beloved of the gods.
§2οἱ δὲ τοὺς ἐν ταῖς οἰκίαις χειμῶνας καὶ τὰς τρικυμίας καὶ νὴ Δία πεντακυμίας τε καὶ δεκακυμίας, εἰ οἷόν τε εἰπεῖν, διηγούμενοι, καὶ ὡς τὸ πρῶτον εἰσέπλευσαν, γαληνοῦ ὑποφαινομένου τοῦ πελάγους, καὶ ὅσα πράγματα παρὰ τὸν πλοῦν ὅλον ὑπέμειναν ἢ διψῶντες ἢ ναυτιῶντες ἢ ὑπεραντλούμενοι τῇ ἅλμῃ, καὶ τέλος ὡς πρὸς πέτραν τινὰ ὕφαλον ἢ σκόπελον ἀπόκρημνον περιρρήξαντες τὸ δύστηνον σκαφίδιον ἄθλιοι κακῶς ἐξενήξαντο γυμνοὶ καὶ πάντων ἐνδεεῖς τῶν ἀναγκαίων — ἐν δὴ τούτοις καὶ τῇ τούτων διηγήσει ἐδόκουν μοι τὰ πολλὰ οὗτοι ὑπʼ αἰσχύνης ἐπικρύπτεσθαι, καὶ ἑκόντες εἶναι ἐπιλανθάνεσθαι αὐτῶν.
But those who narrate the storms and great waves in the houses, and by Zeus, the fivefold and tenfold waves, if one may say so, and how they first sailed in, when the sea appeared calm, and how many troubles they endured throughout the whole voyage, either thirsting or suffering seasickness or being drenched by the brine, and finally how, having dashed their wretched little boat against some sunken rock or steep cliff, they, miserable as they were, swam out with difficulty, naked and destitute of all necessities—in these very matters and in their narration, these men seemed to me for the most part to hide many things out of shame, and willingly to forget them.
ἀλλʼ ἔγωγε κἀκεῖνα καὶ εἴ τινʼ ἄλλα ἐκ τοῦ λόγου συντιθεὶς εὑρίσκω προσόντα ταῖς τοιαύταις συνουσίαις, οὐκ ὀκνήσω σοι πάντα, ὦ καλὲ Τιμόκλεις, διεξελθεῖν· δοκῶ γάρ μοι ἐκ πολλοῦ ἤδη κατανενοηκέναι σε τούτῳ τῷ βίῳ ἐπιβουλεύοντα, §3καὶ πρῶτόν γε ὁπηνίκα περὶ τῶν τοιούτων ὁ λόγος ἐνέπεσεν, εἶτα ἐπῄνεσέ τις τῶν παρόντων τὴν τοιαύτην μισθοφοράν, τρισευδαίμονας εἶναι λέγων οἷς μετὰ τοῦ φίλους ἔχειν τοὺς ἀρίστους Ῥωμαίων καὶ δειπνεῖν δεῖπνα πολυτελῆ καὶ ἀσύμβολα καὶ οἰκεῖν ἐν καλῷ καὶ ἀποδημεῖν μετὰ πάσης ῥᾳστώνης καὶ ἡδονῆς ἐπὶ λευκοῦ ζεύγους, εἰ τύχοι, ἐξυπτιάζοντας, προσέτι καὶ μισθὸν τῆς φιλίας καὶ ὧν εὖ πάσχουσιν τούτων λαμβάνειν οὐκ ὀλίγον ἐστίν· ἀτεχνῶς γὰρ ἄσπορα καὶ ἀνήροτα τοῖς τοιούτοις τὰ πάντα φύεσθαι.
But I, putting together both those things and whatever others I find belonging to such associations from the account, will not hesitate to recount everything to you, my beautiful Timocles; for I think I have perceived you for a long time now plotting for this life, and first indeed when the talk about such things fell, then someone of those present praised such hiring-out, saying that they are thrice-blessed to whom, along with having the best of Romans as friends and dining on sumptuous and free dinners and dwelling in a beautiful place and traveling with all ease and pleasure on a white pair of horses, if it should happen, lying on their backs, there is also not a small pay for their friendship and for those benefits which they receive; for absolutely everything grows unsown and unplowed for such men.
ὁπότε οὖν ταῦτα καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα ἤκουες, ἑώρων ὅπως ἐκεχήνεις πρὸς αὐτὰ καὶ πάνυ σφόδρα πρὸς τὸ δέλεαρ ἀναπεπταμένον παρεῖχες τὸ στόμα.
When, therefore, you heard these and such things, I saw how you gaped at them and offered your mouth very wide open to the bait.
ὡς οὖν τό γε ἡμέτερον εἰσαῦθίς ποτε ἀναίτιον ᾖ μηδὲ ἔχῃς λέγειν ὡς ὁρῶντές σε τηλικοῦτο μετὰ τῆς καρίδος ἄγκιστρον καταπίνοντα οὐκ ἐπελαβόμεθα οὐδὲ πρὶν ἐμπεσεῖν τῷ λαιμῷ περιεσπάσαμεν οὐδὲ προεδηλώσαμεν, ἀλλὰ περιμείναντες ἐξ ἑλκομένου καὶ ἐμπεπηγότος ἤδη συρόμενον καὶ πρὸς ἀνάγκην ἀγόμενον ὁρᾶν, ὅτʼ οὐδὲν ὄφελος ἑστῶτες ἐπεδακρύομεν· ὅπως μὴ ταῦτα λέγῃς ποτέ, πάνυ εὔλογα, ἢν λέγηται, καὶ ἄφυκτα ἡμῖν, ὡς οὐκ ἀδικοῦμεν μὴ προμηνύσαντες, ἄκουσον ἐξ ἀρχῆς ἁπάντων, καὶ τὸ δίκτυόν τε αὐτὸ καὶ τῶν κύρτων τὸ ἀδιέξοδον ἔκτοσθεν ἐπὶ σχολῆς, ἀλλὰ μὴ ἔνδοθεν ἐκ τοῦ μυχοῦ προεπισκόπησον, καὶ τοῦ ἀγκίστρου δὲ τὸ ἀγκύλον καὶ τὴν εἰς τὸ ἔμπαλιν τοῦ σκόλοπος ἀναστροφὴν καὶ τῆς τριαίνης τὰς ἀκμὰς εἰς τὰς χεῖρας λαβὼν καὶ πρὸς τὴν γνάθον πεφυσημένην ἀποπειρώμενος, ἢν μὴ πάνυ ὀξέα μηδὲ ἄφυκτα μηδὲ ἀνιαρὰ ἐν τοῖς τραύμασι φαίνηται βιαίως σπῶντα καὶ ἀμάχως ἀντιλαμβανόμενα, ἡμᾶς μὲν ἐν τοῖς δειλοῖς καὶ διὰ τοῦτο πεινῶσιν ἀνάγραφε, σεαυτὸν δὲ παρακαλέσας θαρρεῖν ἐπιχείρει τῇ ἄγρᾳ, εἰ θέλεις, καθάπερ ὁ λάρος ὅλον περιχανὼν τὸ δέλεαρ.
So that our side may be blameless hereafter, and you may not be able to say that we, seeing you swallowing such a large hook with the shrimp, did not take hold of you, nor did we pull it away before it fell into your throat, nor did we show it beforehand, but waited to see you dragged along by force, already pulled and with the hook fixed, when standing by and weeping would be of no help—lest you should ever say these things, which would be very reasonable, if said, and inescapable for us, as if we did wrong by not forewarning you—listen to all things from the beginning, and examine beforehand at leisure from the outside, but not from the inside from the innermost recess, the net itself and the inescapable nature of the weirs, and having taken into your hands the hook's curve and the backward turn of the barb and the sharp points of the trident, and trying them against your puffed-out jaw, unless they appear very sharp and inescapable and painful in the wounds, pulling violently and resisting helplessly, write us down among the cowardly and therefore starving men, and having exhorted yourself to be bold, try the catch, if you wish, gaping wide over the bait like a gull.