§24Σίμων
ἐκεῖνα μὲν γὰρ τί δεῖ λέγειν περὶ τῆς εὐδαιμονίας αὐτοῦ, ὅτι δὴ μόνος κατὰ τὸν σοφὸν Ὅμηρον
οὔτε φυτεύει χερσὶ φυτὸν οὔτε ἀροῖ, ἀλλὰ τά γ' ἄσπαρτα καὶ ἀνήροτα πάντα
νέμεται;
Simon For what need is there to speak of those things concerning his happiness, namely that he alone, according to the wise Homer, 'neither plants a plant with his hands nor plows, but reaps all things unsown and unplowed'?
§25Σίμων
καὶ μὴν ῥήτορά τε καὶ γεωμέτρην καὶ χαλκέα οὐδὲν κωλύει τὴν ἑαυτοῦ τέχνην ἐργάζεσθαι ἐάν τε πονηρὸς ἐάν τε καὶ μωρὸς ᾖ, παρασιτεῖν δὲ οὐδεὶς δύναται ἢ μωρὸς ὢν ἢ πονηρός.
Simon And indeed, nothing prevents a rhetorician and a geometrician and a blacksmith from working at their own art whether they are bad or foolish, but no one is able to be a parasite while being either foolish or bad.
Τυχιάδης
παπαί, οἷον χρῆμα ἀποφαίνῃ τὴν παρασιτικήν·
Tychiades My goodness, what a thing you show the art of being a parasite to be!
ὥστε καὶ αὐτὸς ἤδη βούλεσθαι δοκῶ μοι παράσιτος εἶναι ἀντὶ τούτου ὅς εἰμι.
So that even I myself already seem to wish to be a parasite instead of this which I am.
§26Σίμων
ὡς μὲν τοίνυν κοινῇ πασῶν διαφέρει, δεδεῖχθαί μοι δοκῶ.
Simon As to how, then, it differs generally from all of them, I think it has been shown by me.
φέρε δὴ ὡς καὶ κατʼ ἰδίαν ἑκάστης διαφέρει σκοπῶμεν.
Come then, let us consider how it differs also from each one individually.
τὸ μὲν δὴ ταῖς βαναύσοις τέχναις παραβάλλειν αὐτὴν ἀνόητόν ἐστιν, καὶ μᾶλλόν πως καθαιροῦντος τὸ ἀξίωμα τῆς τέχνης.
Indeed, to compare it with the mechanical arts is foolish, and in some way rather lowers the dignity of the art.
ὅτι γε μὴν τῶν καλλίστων καὶ μεγίστων τεχνῶν διαφέρει δεικτέον.
But that it differs from the most beautiful and greatest arts must be shown.
ὡμολόγηται δὴ πρὸς πάντων τήν τε ῥητορικὴν καὶ τὴν φιλοσοφίαν, ἃς διὰ γενναιότητα καὶ ἐπιστήμας ἀποφαίνονταί τινες, ἐπειδὰν καὶ τούτων ἀποδείξαιμι τὴν παρασιτικὴν πολὺ κρατοῦσαν, δῆλον ὅτι τῶν ἄλλων τεχνῶν δόξει προφερεστάτη καθάπερ ἡ Ναυσικάα τῶν θεραπαινίδων.
Now rhetoric and philosophy are acknowledged by everyone, which some people declare to be such because of their nobility and knowledge; when I show that the art of being a parasite is far superior to these as well, it is clear that it will seem to be the most outstanding of the other arts, just as Nausicaa was among her handmaidens.
§27Σίμων
κοινῇ μὲν οὖν ἀμφοῖν διαφέρει καὶ τῆς ῥητορικῆς καὶ τῆς φιλοσοφίας, πρῶτον κατὰ τὴν ὑπόστασιν· ἡ μὲν γὰρ ὑφέστηκεν, αἱ δὲ οὔ.
Simon In common, then, it differs from both rhetoric and philosophy, first in respect to substance; for this one has a substance, but those do not.
οὔτε γὰρ τὴν ῥητορικὴν ἕν τι καὶ τὸ αὐτὸ νομίζομεν, ἀλλʼ οἱ μὲν τέχνην, οἱ δὲ τοὐναντίον ἀτεχνίαν, ἄλλοι δὲ κακοτεχνίαν, ἄλλοι δὲ ἄλλο τι.
For we do not consider rhetoric to be one and the same thing, but some call it an art, others on the contrary a lack of art, others a bad art, and others something else.
ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ τὴν φιλοσοφίαν οὐ κατὰ τὰ αὐτὰ καὶ ὡσαύτως ἔχουσαν, ἑτέρως μὲν γὰρ Ἐπικούρῳ δοκεῖ τὰ πράγματα ἔχειν, ἑτέρως δὲ τοῖς ἀπὸ τῆς Στοᾶς, ἑτέρως δὲ τοῖς ἀπὸ τῆς Ἀκαδημίας, ἑτέρως δὲ τοῖς ἀπὸ τοῦ Περιπάτου, καὶ ἁπλῶς ἄλλος ἄλλην ἀξιοῖ τὴν φιλοσοφίαν εἶναι· καὶ μέχρι γε νῦν οὔτε οἱ αὐτοὶ γνώμης κρατοῦσιν οὔτε αὐτῶν ἡ τέχνη μία φαίνεται.
Likewise, we do not consider philosophy to be in the same and identical condition; for things seem to be one way to Epicurus, another way to those from the Stoa, another to those from the Academy, another to those from the Peripatos, and in short, one person after another claims philosophy to be something else; and up to now, neither do the same people hold the same opinion, nor does their art appear to be one.
ἐξ ὧν δῆλον ὅ τι τεκμαίρεσθαι καταλείπεται.
From which it is clear what remains to be inferred.
ἀρχὴν γάρ φημι μηδὲ εἶναι τέχνην ἧς οὐκ ἔστιν ὑπόστασις.
For I say that that of which there is no substance is not even an art at all.
ἐπεὶ τί δή ποτε ἀριθμητικὴ μὲν μία ἐστὶ καὶ ἡ αὐτὴ καὶ δὶς δύο παρά τε ἡμῖν καὶ παρὰ Πέρσαις τέσσαρά ἐστιν καὶ συμφωνεῖ ταῦτα καὶ παρὰ Ἕλλησι καὶ βαρβάροις, φιλοσοφίας δὲ πολλὰς καὶ διαφόρους ὁρῶμεν καὶ οὔτε τὰς ἀρχὰς οὔτε τὰ τέλη σύμφωνα πασῶν;
For why on earth is arithmetic one and the same, and twice two is four both among us and among the Persians, and this agrees both among Greeks and barbarians, while we see many and various philosophies, and neither the beginnings nor the ends of them all agree?
Τυχιάδης
ἀληθῆ λέγεις· μίαν μὲν γὰρ τὴν φιλοσοφίαν εἶναι λέγουσιν, αὐτοὶ δὲ αὐτὴν ποιοῦσι πολλάς.
Tychiades You speak the truth; for they say that philosophy is one, but they themselves make it many.
§28Σίμων
καὶ μὴν καὶ τὰς μὲν ἄλλας τέχνας, εἰ καί τι κατὰ ταύτας ἀσύμφωνον εἴη, κἂν παρέλθοι τις συγγνώμης ἀξιώσας, ἐπεὶ μέσαι τε δοκοῦσι καὶ αἱ καταλήψεις αὐτῶν οὐκ εἰσὶν ἀμετάπτωτοι.
Simon And indeed, as for the other arts, even if there should be some disagreement regarding them, one might overlook it and deem it worthy of pardon, since they seem to be intermediate, and the apprehensions of them are not unchangeable.
φιλοσοφίαν δὲ τίς ἂν καὶ ἀνάσχοιτο μὴ μίαν εἶναι καὶ μηδὲ σύμφωνον αὐτὴν ἑαυτῇ μᾶλλον τῶν ὀργάνων;
But who could endure that philosophy is not one, and is not in agreement with itself even more than musical instruments are?
μία μὲν οὖν οὐκ ἔστι φιλοσοφία, ἐπειδὴ ὁρῶ καὶ ἄπειρον οὖσαν· πολλαὶ δὲ οὐ δύνανται εἶναι, ἐπειδήπερ ἡ σοφία μία.
Therefore, philosophy is not one, since I see that it is even infinite in number; but there cannot be many, since wisdom is one.
§29Σίμων
ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ περὶ τῆς ὑποστάσεως τῆς ῥητορικῆς ταὐτὰ φαίη τις ἄν· τὸ γὰρ περὶ ἑνὸς προκειμένου ταὐτὰ μὴ λέγειν ἅπαντας, ἀλλὰ μάχην εἶναι φορᾶς ἀντιδόξου, ἀπόδειξις μεγίστη τοῦ μηδὲ ἀρχὴν εἶναι τοῦτο οὗ μία κατάληψις οὐκ ἔστιν· τὸ γὰρ ζητεῖν τό, τί μᾶλλον αὐτό ἐστιν, καὶ τὸ μηδέποτε ὁμολογεῖν ἓν εἶναι, τοῦτο αὐτὴν ἀναιρεῖ τοῦ ζητουμένου τὴν οὐσίαν.
Simon Likewise also concerning the substance of rhetoric one might say the same things; for the fact that not everyone says the same things about a single subject proposed, but that there is a battle of opposing opinions, is the greatest proof that this is not even an existence at all, of which there is no single apprehension; for the searching of what it rather is, and the never agreeing that it is one, this very thing destroys the essence of the thing being sought.