§26Μένιππος
ἐπεὶ δὲ ἱκανῶς ἐχρημάτισε ταῖς εὐχαῖς, ἐπὶ τὸν ἑξῆς μεταβὰς θρόνον καὶ τὴν δευτέραν θυρίδα κατακύψας τοῖς ὅρκοις ἐσχόλαζε καὶ τοῖς ὀμνύουσι.
Menippus And when he had sufficiently dispatched the business of the prayers, moving to the next throne and bending down to the second aperture, he devoted his attention to oaths and to those who swear them.
χρηματίσας δὲ καὶ τούτοις καὶ τὸν Ἐπικούρειον Ἑρμόδωρον ἐπιτρίψας μετεκαθέζετο ἐπὶ τὸν ἑξῆς θρόνον κληδόσι καὶ φήμαις καὶ οἰωνοῖς προσέξων.
Having dispatched business with these also, and having thoroughly punished the Epicurean Hermodorus, he moved his seat to the next throne in order to attend to ominous utterances, rumors, and omens.
εἶτʼ ἐκεῖθεν ἐπὶ τὴν τῶν θυσιῶν θυρίδα μετῄει, διʼ ἧς ὁ καπνὸς ἀνιὼν ἀπήγγελλε τῷ Διὶ τοῦ θύοντος ἑκάστου τοὔνομα.
Then from there he went to the aperture of the sacrifices, through which the ascending smoke announced to Zeus the name of each sacrificer.
ἀποστὰς δὲ τούτων προσέταττε τοῖς ἀνέμοις καὶ ταῖς ὥραις ἃ δεῖ ποιεῖν· τήμερον παρὰ Σκύθαις ὑέτω, παρὰ Λίβυσιν ἀστραπτέτω, παρʼ Ἕλλησι νιφέτω, σὺ δὲ ὁ Βορέας πνεῦσον ἐν Λυδίᾳ, σὺ δὲ ὁ Νότος ἡσυχίαν ἄγε, ὁ δὲ Ζέφυρος τὸν Ἀδρίαν διακυμαινέτω, καὶ τῆς χαλάζης ὅσον μέδιμνοι χίλιοι διασκεδασθήτωσαν ὑπὲρ Καππαδοκίας, §27Μένιππος
ἁπάντων δὲ ἤδη σχεδὸν αὐτῷ διῳκημένων ἀπῄειμεν ἐς τὸ συμπόσιον· δείπνου γὰρ ἤδη καιρὸς ἦν·
And turning away from these, he commanded the winds and the seasons what they must do: "Today let it rain among the Scythians, let it lightning among the Libyans, let it snow among the Greeks; and you, Boreas, blow in Lydia; and you, Notos, keep quiet; and let Zephyros cause waves in the Adriatic; and let about a thousand medimnoi of hail be scattered over Cappadocia." Menippus Since almost everything had by now been managed by him, we went off to the banquet; for it was already time for dinner.
καί με ὁ Ἑρμῆς παραλαβὼν κατέκλινε παρὰ τὸν Πᾶνα καὶ τοὺς Κορύβαντας καὶ τὸν Ἄττιν καὶ τὸν Σαβάζιον, τοὺς μετοίκους τούτους καὶ ἀμφιβόλους θεούς.
And Hermes took me and laid me down beside Pan, the Corybantes, Attis, and Sabazius, these resident aliens and doubtful gods.
καὶ ἄρτον τε ἡ Δημήτηρ παρεῖχε καὶ ὁ Διόνυσος οἶνον καὶ ὁ Ἡρακλῆς κρέα καὶ μύρτα ἡ Ἀφροδίτη καὶ ὁ Ποσειδῶν μαινίδας.
And Demeter provided bread, Dionysus wine, Heracles meat, Aphrodite myrtle-berries, and Poseidon small fish.
ἅμα δὲ καὶ τῆς ἀμβροσίας ἠρέμα καὶ τοῦ νέκταρος παρεγευόμην· ὁ γὰρ βέλτιστος Γανυμήδης ὑπὸ φιλανθρωπίας εἰ θεάσαιτο ἀποβλέποντά που τὸν Δία, κοτύλην ἂν ἢ καὶ δύο τοῦ νέκταρος ἐνέχει μοι φέρων.
At the same time, I also tasted a little of the ambrosia and nectar; for the most excellent Ganymede, out of kindness, if he saw Zeus looking away somewhere, would bring and pour for me a cup or even two of nectar.
οἱ δὲ θεοί, ὡς Ὅμηρός που λέγει (καὶ αὐτός, οἶμαι, καθάπερ ἐγὼ τἀκεῖ τεθεαμένος), οὔτε σῖτον ἔδουσιν,
οὐ πίνους’ αἴθοπα οἶνον,
ἀλλὰ τὴν ἀμβροσίαν παρατίθενται καὶ τοῦ νέκταρος μεθύσκονται, μάλιστα δὲ ἥδονται σιτούμενοι τὸν ἐκ τῶν θυσιῶν καπνὸν αὐτῇ κνίσῃ ἀνενηνεγμένον καὶ τὸ αἷμα δὲ τῶν ἱερείων, ὃ τοῖς βωμοῖς οἱ θύοντες περιχέουσιν.
But the gods, as Homer somewhere says (and he too, I think, having beheld the things there just as I did), eat no bread, "nor do they drink sparkling wine," but they set before themselves ambrosia and get drunk on nectar; and they are especially pleased when they feed on the smoke from the sacrifices, brought up with the very steam of the fat, and also on the blood of the victims, which those who sacrifice pour around the altars.
ἐν δὲ τῷ δείπνῳ ὅ τε Ἀπόλλων ἐκιθάρισε καὶ ὁ Σιληνὸς κόρδακα ὠρχήσατο καὶ αἱ Μοῦσαι ἀναστᾶσαι τῆς τε Ἡσιόδου Θεογονίας ᾖσαν ἡμῖν καὶ τὴν πρώτην ᾠδὴν τῶν ὕμνων τῶν Πινδάρου.
During the dinner, Apollo played the cithara, Silenus danced the kordax, and the Muses stood up and sang for us Hesiod's Theogony and the first ode of Pindar's hymns.
κἀπειδὴ κόρος ἦν, ἀνεπαυόμεθα ὡς εἶχεν ἕκαστος ἱκανῶς ὑποβεβρεγμένοι.
And when there was satiety, we went to rest just as each one was, being sufficiently tipsy.
§28Μένιππος
"
ἄλλοι μέν ῥα θεοί τε καὶ ἀνέρες ἱπποκορυσταὶ
εὗδον παννύχιοι, ἐμὲ δʼ οὐκ ἔχε νήδυμος ὕπνος· "
ἀνελογιζόμην γὰρ πολλὰ μὲν καὶ ἄλλα, μάλιστα δὲ ἐκεῖνα, πῶς ἐν τοσούτῳ χρόνῳ ὁ Ἀπόλλων οὐ φύσειε πώγωνα ἢ πῶς γίνοιτο νὺξ ἐν οὐρανῷ τοῦ ἡλίου παρόντος ἀεὶ καὶ συνευωχουμένου.
Menippus "Other gods and horse-crested men slept all night long, but sweet sleep did not hold me;" for I was reflecting on many other things, but especially on those: how in so much time Apollo had not grown a beard, or how night came to be in heaven when the sun was always present and feasting together with them.
τότε μὲν οὖν μικρόν τι κατέδαρθον.
At that time, then, I fell asleep for a little while.
ἕωθεν δὲ διαναστὰς ὁ Ζεὺς προσέταττε κηρύττειν ἐκκλησίαν.
But at dawn, Zeus, having arisen, commanded to proclaim an assembly.
§29Μένιππος
κἀπειδὴ παρῆσαν ἅπαντες, ἄρχεται λέγειν· Τὴν μὲν αἰτίαν τοῦ συναγαγεῖν ὑμᾶς ὁ χθιζὸς οὗτος ξένος παρέσχηται·
Menippus And when everyone was present, he began to speak: "This guest who arrived yesterday has provided the reason for gathering you.
πάλαι δὲ βουλόμενος ὑμῖν κοινώσασθαι περὶ τῶν φιλοσόφων, μάλιστα ὑπὸ τῆς Σελήνης καὶ ὧν ἐκείνη μέμφεται προτραπεὶς ἔγνων μηκέτʼ ἐπὶ πλέον παρατεῖναι τὴν διάσκεψιν.
Although I have long wished to consult you about the philosophers, urged on especially by the Moon and the things she complains of, I decided to prolong this inquiry no further.
γένος γάρ τι ἀνθρώπων ἐστὶν οὐ πρὸ πολλοῦ τῷ βίῳ ἐπιπολάσαν ἀργὸν φιλόνεικον κενόδοξον ὀξύχολον ὑπόλιχνον ὑπόμωρον τετυφωμένον ὕβρεως ἀνάπλεων καὶ ἵνα καθʼ Ὅμηρον εἴπω
ἐτώσιον ἄχθος ἀρούρης. οὗτοι τοίνυν εἰς συστήματα διαιρεθέντες καὶ διαφόρους λόγων λαβυρίνθους ἐπινοήσαντες οἱ μὲν Στωϊκοὺς ὠνομάκασιν ἑαυτούς, οἱ δὲ Ἀκαδημαϊκούς, οἱ δὲ Ἐπικουρείους, οἱ δὲ Περιπατητικοὺς καὶ ἄλλα πολλῷ γελοιότερα τούτων·
For there is a certain race of men, which not long ago cropped up in life, lazy, contentious, vainglorious, quick-tempered, gluttonous, rather foolish, puffed up, full of insolence, and, so to speak in Homer's words, 'a useless burden on the earth.' These men, then, having divided themselves into sects and devised various labyrinths of arguments, some have named themselves Stoics, others Academics, others Epicureans, others Peripatetics, and others with names far more ridiculous than these.
ἔπειτα δὲ ὄνομα σεμνὸν τὴν ἀρετὴν περιθέμενοι καὶ τὰς ὀφρῦς ἐπάραντες καὶ τὰ μέτωπα ῥυτιδώσαντες καὶ τοὺς πώγωνας ἐπισπασάμενοι περιέρχονται ἐπιπλάστῳ σχήματι κατάπτυστα ἤθη περιστέλλοντες, ἐμφερεῖς μάλιστα τοῖς τραγικοῖς ἐκείνοις ὑποκριταῖς, ὧν ἢν ἀφέλῃ τις τὰ προσωπεῖα καὶ τὴν χρυσόπαστον ἐκείνην στολήν, τὸ καταλειπόμενόν ἐστι γελοῖον ἀνθρώπιον ἑπτὰ δραχμῶν ἐς τὸν ἀγῶνα μεμισθωμένον.
Then, having wrapped themselves in the solemn name of Virtue, raising their eyebrows, wrinkling their foreheads, and stroking their beards, they go about in a feigned guise, concealing detestable habits, very much like those tragic actors; if one takes away from them their masks and that gold-spangled robe, what is left is a ridiculous little man hired for seven drachmas for the contest."