§24Μένιππος
μεταξύ τε προϊὼν ἀνέκρινέ με περὶ τῶν ἐν τῇ γῇ πραγμάτων, τὰ πρῶτα μὲν ἐκεῖνα, πόσου νῦν ὁ πυρός ἐστιν ὤνιος ἐπὶ τῆς Ἑλλάδος, καὶ εἰ σφόδρα ὑμῶν ὁ πέρυσι χειμὼν καθίκετο, καὶ εἰ τὰ λάχανα δεῖται πλείονος ἐπομβρίας.
Menippus And while walking on, he questioned me about things on earth: first of all about those things, how much wheat is now selling for in Greece, and whether last year's winter hit you very hard, and whether the vegetables need more rain.
μετὰ δὲ ἠρώτα εἴ τις ἔτι λείπεται τῶν ἀπὸ Φειδίου καὶ διʼ ἣν αἰτίαν ἐλλείποιεν Ἀθηναῖοι τὰ Διάσια τοσούτων ἐτῶν, καὶ εἰ τὸ Ὀλυμπίειον αὐτῷ ἐπιτελέσαι διανοοῦνται, καὶ εἰ συνελήφθησαν οἱ τὸν ἐν Δωδώνῃ νεὼν σεσυληκότες.
And afterwards he asked whether any of Phidias' descendants still remain, and for what reason the Athenians have neglected the Diasia for so many years, and whether they intend to finish the Olympieion for him, and whether those who plundered the temple in Dodona have been caught.
ἐπεὶ δὲ περὶ τούτων ἀπεκρινάμην,
εἰπέ μοι, Μένιππε,
ἔφη,
περὶ δὲ ἐμοῦ οἱ ἄνθρωποι τίνα γνώμην ἔχουσι; τίνα,
ἔφην,
δέσποτα, ἢ τὴν εὐσεβεστάτην, βασιλέα σε πάντων εἶναι θεῶν; παίζεις ἔχων,
ἔφη·
And when I had answered these things, "Tell me, Menippus," he said, "what opinion do men have about me?" "What opinion, Master," I said, "except the most pious, that you are the king of all gods?" "You are joking," he said.
τὸ δὲ φιλόκαινον αὐτῶν ἀκριβῶς οἶδα, κἂν μὴ λέγῃς.
"But I know their love of novelty precisely, even if you don't say so.
ἦν γάρ ποτε χρόνος, ὅτε καὶ μάντις ἐδόκουν αὐτοῖς καὶ ἰατρὸς καὶ πάντα ὅλως ἦν ἐγώ,
"
μεσταὶ δὲ Διὸς πᾶσαι μὲν ἀγυιαί,
πᾶσαι δ' ἀνθρώπων ἀγοραί· "
καὶ ἡ Δωδώνη τότε καὶ ἡ Πῖσα λαμπραὶ καὶ περίβλεπτοι πᾶσιν ἦσαν, ὑπὸ δὲ τοῦ καπνοῦ τῶν θυσιῶν οὐδὲ ἀναβλέπειν μοι δυνατόν·
For there was once a time when I seemed to them to be both a prophet and a doctor, and indeed I was everything to them: 'And all streets are full of Zeus, and all assembly places of men;' and Dodona then and Pisa were glorious and conspicuous to everyone, and because of the smoke of the sacrifices I was not even able to look up.
ἐξ οὗ δὲ ἐν Δελφοῖς μὲν Ἀπόλλων τὸ μαντεῖον κατεστήσατο, ἐν Περγάμῳ δὲ τὸ ἰατρεῖον ὁ Ἀσκληπιὸς καὶ τὸ Βενδίδειον ἐγένετο ἐν Θρᾴκῃ καὶ τὸ Ἀνουβίδειον ἐν Αἰγύπτῳ καὶ τὸ Ἀρτεμίσιον ἐν Ἐφέσῳ, ἐπὶ ταῦτα μὲν ἅπαντες θέουσι καὶ πανηγύρεις ἀνάγουσι καὶ ἑκατόμβας παριστᾶσι καὶ χρυσᾶς πλίνθους ἀνατιθέασιν ἐμὲ δὲ παρηβηκότα ἱκανῶς τετιμηκέναι νομίζουσιν, ἂν διὰ πέντε ὅλων ἐτῶν θύσωσιν ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ.
But ever since Apollo established his oracle in Delphi, and Asclepius his medical temple in Pergamum, and the Bendideion came to be in Thrace, and the Anoubideion in Egypt, and the Artemision in Ephesus, everyone runs to these, and they celebrate festivals, and present hecatombs, and dedicate golden bricks; but as for me, who have grown quite past my prime, they think they have honored me sufficiently if they sacrifice at Olympia once in five whole years.
τοιγαροῦν ψυχροτέρους ἄν μου τοὺς βωμοὺς ἴδοις τῶν Πλάτωνος νόμων ἢ τῶν Χρυσίππου συλλογισμῶν. §25Μένιππος
τοιαῦθʼ ἅμα διεξιόντες ἀφικνούμεθα ἐς τὸ χωρίον ἔνθα ἔδει αὐτὸν καθεζόμενον διακοῦσαι τῶν εὐχῶν.
Therefore you would see my altars colder than the Laws of Plato or the syllogisms of Chrysippus." Menippus Conversing on such things, we arrived at the place where he had to sit down and listen to the prayers.
θυρίδες δὲ ἦσαν ἑξῆς τοῖς στομίοις τῶν φρεάτων ἐοικυῖαι πώματα ἔχουσαι, καὶ παρʼ ἑκάστῃ θρόνος ἔκειτο χρυσοῦς.
And there were apertures in a row, like the mouths of wells, having covers, and by each lay a golden throne.
καθίσας οὖν ἑαυτόν· ἑαυτόν· ἐπὶ τῆς πρώτης ὁ Ζεὺς καὶ ἀφελὼν τὸ πῶμα παρεῖχε τοῖς εὐχομένοις ἑαυτόν·
Having seated himself, then, upon the first, Zeus, after removing the cover, offered himself to those praying.
ἑαυτόν· εὔχοντο δὲ πανταχόθεν τῆς γῆς διάφορα καὶ ποικίλα.
And they prayed from all parts of the earth for different and various things.
συμπαρακύψας γὰρ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπήκουον ἅμα τῶν εὐχῶν.
For bending down alongside him, I myself also listened to the prayers.
ἦσαν δὲ τοιαίδε,
ὦ Ζεῦ, βασιλεῦσαί μοι γένοιτο· ὦ Ζεῦ, τὰ κρόμμυά μοι φῦναι καὶ τὰ σκόροδα· Ὦ θεοί, τὸν πατέρα μοι ταχέως ἀποθανεῖν
ὁ δέ τις ἂν ἔφη,
εἴθε κληρονομήσαιμι τῆς γυναικός,
εἴθε λάθοιμι ἐπιβουλεύσας τῷ ἀδελφῷ,
γένοιτό μοι νικῆσαι τὴν δίκην,
δὸς στεφθῆναι τὰ Ὀλύμπια. τῶν πλεόντων δὲ ὁ μὲν βορέαν εὔχετο ἐπιπνεῦσαι, ὁ δὲ νότον, ὁ δὲ γεωργὸς ᾔτει ὑετόν, ὁ δὲ γναφεὺς ἥλιον.
And they were such as these: "O Zeus, may it be granted to me to become king!" "O Zeus, may my onions and garlic grow!" "O gods, may my father die quickly!" And someone else would say, "Would that I might inherit my wife's property!" "Would that I might escape notice in plotting against my brother!" "May it be granted to me to win my lawsuit!" "Grant that I be crowned at the Olympic games!" And of those sailing, one prayed for the north wind to blow, another for the south wind; and the farmer asked for rain, and the fuller for sun.
ἐπακούων δὲ ὁ Ζεὺς καὶ τὴν εὐχὴν ἑκάστην ἀκριβῶς ἐξετάζων οὐ πάντα ὑπισχνεῖτο,
"ἀλλʼ ἕτερον μὲν ἔδωκε πατήρ, ἕτερον δʼ ἀνένευσε· "
τὰς μὲν γὰρ δικαίας τῶν εὐχῶν προσίετο ἄνω διὰ τοῦ στομίου καὶ ἐπὶ τὰ δεξιὰ κατετίθει φέρων, τὰς δὲ ἀνοσίους ἀπράκτους αὖθις ἀπέπεμπεν ἀποφυσῶν κάτω, ἵνα μηδὲ πλησίον γένοιντο τοῦ οὐρανοῦ.
Listening to them and examining each prayer precisely, Zeus did not promise everything: "But one thing the Father granted, and another he refused;" for the just prayers he admitted upward through the aperture and laid them down on his right, but the unholy ones he sent back unsuccessful, blowing them away downward, so that they might not even come near to heaven.
ἐπὶ μιᾶς δέ τινος εὐχῆς καὶ ἀποροῦντα αὐτὸν ἐθεασάμην· δύο γὰρ ἀνδρῶν τἀναντία εὐχομένων καὶ τὰς ἴσας θυσίας ὑπισχνουμένων οὐκ εἶχεν ὁποτέρῳ μᾶλλον ἐπινεύσειεν αὐτῶν, ὥστε δὴ τὸ Ἀκαδημαϊκὸν ἐκεῖνο ἐπεπόνθει καὶ οὐδέν τι ἀποφήνασθαι δυνατὸς ἦν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ὁ Πύρρων ἐπεῖχεν ἔτι καὶ διεσκέπτετο.
And in the case of one particular prayer, I even saw him at a loss; for when two men prayed for opposite things and promised equal sacrifices, he did not know to which of them he should rather grant his assent, so that he experienced that Academic state and was not able to declare anything, but just like Pyrrho he suspended judgment and was still considering.