§49Δάμις
τοιαῦτα ἐν τῇ νηΐ σου γίνεται, ὦ σοφώτατε Τιμόκλεις· διὰ τοῦτο αἱ ναυαγίαι μυρίαι.
Damis Such things happen on your ship, O wisest Timocles; because of this the shipwrecks are countless.
εἰ δέ τις κυβερνήτης ἐφεστὼς ἑώρα καὶ διέταττεν ἕκαστα, πρῶτον μὲν οὐκ ἂν ἠγνόησεν οἵτινες οἱ χρηστοὶ καὶ οἵτινες οἱ φαῦλοι τῶν ἐμπλεόντων, ἔπειτα ἑκάστῳ κατὰ τὴν ἀξίαν τὰ προσήκοντα ἀπένειμεν ἄν, χώραν τε τὴν ἀμείνω τοῖς ἀμείνοσι παρʼ αὑτὸν ἄνω, τὴν κάτω δὲ τοῖς χείροσι, καὶ συσσίτους ἔστιν οὓς καὶ συμβούλους ἐποιήσατʼ ἄν, καὶ τῶν ναυτῶν ὁ μὲν πρόθυμος ἢ πρῴρας ἐπιμελητὴς ἀπεδέδεικτʼ ἂν ἢ τοίχου ἄρχων ἢ πάντως πρὸ τῶν ἄλλων, ὁ δὲ ὀκνηρὸς καὶ ῥᾴθυμος ἐπαίετʼ ἂν τῷ καλωδίῳ πεντάκις τῆς ἡμέρας εἰς τὴν κεφαλήν.
But if some helmsman standing over it had watched and arranged each thing, first he would not have been ignorant of who are the good and who are the bad among those sailing, then he would have assigned to each what is fitting according to merit, and he would have assigned the better place to the better men, up near himself, and the lower to the worse, and would have made some of them his messmates and counselors, and of the sailors, the one who is zealous would have been appointed either as keeper of the bow or commander of a side or at any rate in preference to the others, while the lazy and careless one would have been beaten with a rope five times a day on the head.
ὥστε σοι, ὦ θαυμάσιε, τὸ τῆς νεὼς τοῦτο παράδειγμα κινδυνεύει περιτετράφθαι κακοῦ τοῦ κυβερνήτου τετυχηκός.
So, my admirable friend, this example of the ship runs the risk of being turned upside down, having met with a bad helmsman.
§50Μῶμος
ταυτὶ μὲν ἤδη κατὰ ῥοῦν προχωρεῖ τῷ Δάμιδι καὶ πλησίστιος ἐπὶ τὴν νίκην φέρεται.
Momus These things are already going with the stream for Damis, and he is carried with full sail toward victory.
Ζεύς
ὀρθῶς, ὦ Μῶμε, εἰκάζεις.
Zeus You guess rightly, Momus.
ὁ δʼ οὐδὲν ἰσχυρὸν ὁ Τιμοκλῆς ἐπινοεῖ, ἀλλὰ τὰ κοινὰ ταῦτα καὶ καθʼ ἡμέραν ἄλλα ἐπʼ ἄλλοις εὐπερίτρεπτα πάντα ἐπαντλεῖ.
But Timocles devises nothing strong, but pumps up all these common and everyday arguments, one after another, all easily overturned.
§51Τιμοκλῆς
οὐκοῦν ἐπεὶ τῆς νεὼς τὸ παράδειγμα οὐ πάνυ σοι ἰσχυρὸν ἔδοξεν εἶναι, ἄκουσον ἤδη τὴν ἱεράν, φασίν, ἄγκυραν καὶ ἣν οὐδεμιᾷ μηχανῇ ἀπορρήξεις.
Timocles Therefore, since the example of the ship did not seem to you to be very strong, hear now the so-called 'sacred anchor', and which you will by no device break.
Ζεύς
τί ποτε ἄρα καὶ ἐρεῖ;
Zeus What in the world is he going to say?
Τιμοκλῆς
ἴδοις γὰρ εἰ ἀκόλουθα ταῦτα συλλογίζομαι, καὶ εἴ πῃ αὐτὰ δυνατόν σοι περιτρέψαι.
Timocles For you may see if I syllogize these things consistently, and if it is in any way possible for you to overturn them.
εἰ γὰρ εἰσὶ βωμοί, εἰσὶ καὶ θεοί· ἀλλὰ μὴν εἰσὶ βωμοί, εἰσὶν ἄρα καὶ θεοί.
For if there are altars, there are also gods; but indeed there are altars, therefore there are also gods.
τί πρὸς ταῦτα φής;
What do you say to this?
Δάμις
ἢν πρότερον γελάσω ἐς κόρον, ἀποκρινοῦμαί σοι.
Damis If I first laugh to my heart's content, I will answer you.
Τιμοκλῆς
ἀλλὰ ἔοικας οὐδὲ παύσεσθαι γελῶν· εἰπὲ δὲ ὅμως ὅπη σοι γελοῖον ἔδοξε τὸ εἰρημένον εἶναι.
Timocles But you seem not even to be going to stop laughing; tell me, however, in what way the thing said seemed to you to be ridiculous.
Δάμις
ὅτι οὐκ αἰσθάνῃ ἀπὸ λεπτῆς κρόκης ἐξαψάμενός σου τὴν ἄγκυραν, καὶ ταῦτα ἱερὰν οὖσαν· τὸ γὰρ εἶναι θεοὺς τῷ βωμοὺς εἶναι συνδήσας ἰσχυρὸν οἴει ποιήσασθαι ἀπʼ αὐτῶν τὸν ὅρμον.
Damis Because you do not perceive that you have hung your anchor from a slender thread, and that too when it is a 'sacred' one; for having bound the existence of gods to the existence of altars, you think you have made a strong anchorage from them.
ὥστε ἐπεὶ μηδὲν ἄλλο τούτου φὴς ἔχειν εἰπεῖν ἱερώτερον, ἀπίωμεν ἤδη.
So, since you say you have nothing more sacred than this to say, let us depart now.
§52Τιμοκλῆς
ὁμολογεῖς τοίνυν ἡττῆσθαι προαπιών;
Timocles Do you confess then to have been defeated, going away beforehand?
Δάμις
ναί, ὦ Τιμόκλεις.
Damis Yes, Timocles.
σὺ γὰρ ὥσπερ οἱ ὑπό τινων βιαζόμενοι ἐπὶ τοὺς βωμοὺς ἡμῖν καταπέφευγας.
For you, like those who are forced by some, have fled to the altars for refuge.
ὥστε, νὴ τὴν ἄγκυραν τὴν ἱεράν, ἐθέλω σπείσασθαι ἤδη πρὸς σὲ ἐπʼ αὐτῶν γε τῶν βωμῶν, ὡς μηκέτι περὶ τούτων ἐρίζοιμεν.
So, by the sacred anchor, I am willing to make a treaty with you now on the very altars, so that we may no longer dispute about these things.
Τιμοκλῆς
εἰρωνεύῃ ταῦτα πρὸς ἐμέ, τυμβωρύχε καὶ μιαρὲ καὶ κατάπτυστε καὶ μαστιγία καὶ κάθαρμα;
Timocles Are you being sarcastic to me, you tomb-robber and defiled and detestable wretch and scoundrel and scapegoat?
οὐ γὰρ ἴσμεν οὗτινος μὲν πατρὸς εἶ, πῶς δὲ ἡ μήτηρ σου ἐπορνεύετο, καὶ ὡς τὸν ἀδελφὸν ἀπέπνιξας καὶ μοιχεύεις καὶ τὰ μειράκια διαφθείρεις, λιχνότατε καὶ ἀναισχυντότατε;
For do we not know who your father is, and how your mother played the prostitute, and how you strangled your brother and commit adultery and corrupt young boys, most gluttonous and shameless fellow?
μὴ φεῦγε δʼ οὖν, ἕως καὶ πληγὰς παρʼ ἐμοῦ λαβὼν ἀπέλθῃς· ἤδη γάρ σε τουτῳὶ τῷ ὀστράκῳ ἀποσφάξω παμμίαρον ὄντα.
Do not flee, then, until you depart having received blows from me; for already I will slaughter you, completely defiled as you are, with this potsherd.
§53Ζεύς
ὁ μὲν γελῶν, ὦ θεοί, ἄπεισιν, ὁ δʼ ἀκολουθεῖ λοιδορούμενος οὐ φέρων κατατρυφῶντα τὸν Δᾶμιν, καὶ ἔοικε πατάξειν αὐτὸν τῷ κεράμῳ ἐς τὴν κεφαλήν.
Zeus The one goes away laughing, O gods, and the other follows him abusing him, not bearing Damis triumphing over him, and he seems likely to strike him on the head with the tile.
ἡμεῖς δὲ τί ποιῶμεν ἐπὶ τούτοις;
What then should we do under these circumstances?
Ἑρμῆς
ὀρθῶς ἐκεῖνό μοι ὁ κωμικὸς εἰρηκέναι δοκεῖ,
"οὐδὲν πέπονθας δεινόν, ἂν μὴ προσποιῇ. "
τί γὰρ καὶ ὑπέρμεγα κακόν, εἰ ὀλίγοι ἄνθρωποι πεπεισμένοι ταῦτα ἀπίασι;
Hermes Rightly that comic poet seems to me to have said: 'You have suffered nothing terrible, if you do not pretend.' For what indeed is the very great evil, if a few men go away persuaded of these things?
πολλῷ γὰρ οἱ τἀναντία γιγνώσκοντες πλείους, Ἑλλήνων ὁ πολὺς λεὼς βάρβαροί τε ἅπαντες.
For those who think the opposite are far more numerous—the great mass of the Greeks and all the barbarians.
Ζεύς
ἀλλά, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, τὸ τοῦ Δαρείου πάνυ καλῶς ἔχον ἐστίν, ὃ εἶπεν ἐπὶ τοῦ Ζωπύρου· ὥστε καὶ αὐτὸς ἐβουλόμην ἂν ἕνα τοῦτον ἔχειν τὸν Δᾶμιν σύμμαχον ἢ μυρίας μοι Βαβυλῶνας ὑπάρχειν.
Zeus But, Hermes, that saying of Darius is very fine, which he spoke in the case of Zopyrus; so that I too would have wished to have this one Damis as an ally rather than to have ten thousand Babylons belonging to me.