§42Τιμοκλῆς
οὐκοῦν ἅπαντες ἄνθρωποι καὶ τὰ ἔθνη ἐξηπάτηνται θεοὺς νομίζοντες καὶ πανηγυρίζοντες;
Timocles Have all men, then, and the nations been deceived in believing in gods and holding festivals?
Δάμις
εὖ γε, ὦ Τιμόκλεις, ὅτι με ὑπέμνησας τῶν κατὰ ἔθνη νομιζομένων, ἀφʼ ὧν μάλιστα συνίδοι τις ἂν ὡς οὐδὲν βέβαιονὁ περὶ θεῶν λόγος ἔχει· πολλὴ γὰρ ἡ ταραχὴ καὶ ἄλλοι ἄλλα νομίζουσι, Σκύθαι μὲν ἀκινάκῃ θύοντες καὶ Θρᾷκες Ζαμόλξιδι, δραπέτῃ ἀνθρώπῳ ἐκ Σάμου ὡς αὐτοὺς ἥκοντι, Φρύγες δὲ Μήνῃ καὶ Αἰθίοπες Ἡμέρᾳ καὶ Κυλλήνιοι Φάλητι καὶ Ἀσσύριοι περιστερᾷ καὶ Πέρσαι πυρὶ καὶ Αἰγύπτιοι ὕδατι.
Damis Well done, Timocles, in reminding me of the beliefs customary among the nations, from which one might best perceive that the doctrine concerning the gods has nothing secure; for there is great confusion, and different people believe different things: the Scythians sacrificing to a scimitar, and the Thracians to Zalmoxis, a runaway slave from Samos who came to them; the Phrygians to Men, the Ethiopians to Hemera, the Cyllenians to Phales, the Assyrians to a dove, the Persians to fire, and the Egyptians to water.
καὶ τοῦτο μὲν ἅπασι κοινὸν τοῖς Αἰγυπτίοις τὸ ὕδωρ, ἰδίᾳ δὲ Μεμφίταις μὲν ὁ βοῦς θεός, Πηλουσιώταις δὲ κρόμμυον, καὶ ἄλλοις ἶβις ἢ κροκόδειλος καὶ ἄλλοις κυνοκέφαλος ἢ αἴλουρος ἢ πίθηκος· καὶ ἔτι κατὰ κώμας τοῖς μὲνὁ δεξιὸς ὦμος θεός, τοῖς δὲ κατʼ ἀντιπέρας οἰκοῦσιν ἅτερος· καὶ ἄλλοις κεφαλῆς ἡμίτομον, καὶ ἄλλοις ποτήριον κεραμεοῦν ἢ τρύβλιον.
And while this water is common to all Egyptians, individually the Memphites have the bull for a god, the Pelusiots the onion, others the ibis or the crocodile, and others the baboon or the cat or the ape; and furthermore, village by village, to some the right shoulder is a god, and to those living opposite, the other; to others, half a head, and to others, a clay cup or a bowl.
ταῦτα πῶς οὐ γέλως ἐστίν, ὦ καλὲ Τιμόκλεις;
How is this not a laughing-stock, my fine Timocles?
Μῶμος
οὐκ ἔλεγον, ὦ θεοί, ταῦτα πάντα ἥξειν εἰς τοὐμφανὲς καὶ ἀκριβῶς ἐξετασθήσεσθαι;
Momus Did I not say, O gods, that all these things would come to light and be strictly examined?
Ζεύς
ἔλεγες, ὦ Μῶμε, καὶ ἐπετίμας ὀρθῶς, καὶ ἔγωγε πειράσομαι ἐπανορθώσασθαι αὐτά, ἢν τὸν ἐν ποσὶ τοῦτον κίνδυνον διαφύγωμεν.
Zeus You did say so, Momus, and your censure was correct, and I will try to reform these things, if we escape this danger at our feet.
§43Τιμοκλῆς
ἀλλʼ, ὦ θεοῖς ἐχθρὲ σύ, τοὺς χρησμοὺς καὶ προαγορεύσεις τῶν ἐσομένων τίνος ἔργον ἂν εἴποις ἢ θεῶν καὶ τῆς προνοίας τῆς ἐκείνων;
Timocles But, you enemy of the gods, whose work would you say are the oracles and predictions of future events, if not of the gods and their providence?
Δάμις
σιώπησον, ὦ ἄριστε, περὶ τῶν χρησμῶν, ἐπεὶ ἐρήσομαί σε τίνος αὐτῶν μάλιστα μεμνῆσθαι ἀξιοῖς;
Damis Keep silent, my good sir, about the oracles, since I will ask you which of them you think is especially worth remembering.
ἆρʼ ἐκείνου ὃν τῷ Λυδῷ ὁ Πύθιος ἔχρησεν, ὃς ἀκριβῶς ἀμφήκης ἦν καὶ διπρόσωπος, οἷοί εἰσι τῶν Ἑρμῶν ἔνιοι, διττοὶ καὶ ἀμφοτέρωθεν ὅμοιοι πρὸς ὁπότερον ἂν αὐτῶν μέρος ἐπιστραφῇς;
Is it that one which the Pythian gave to the Lydian, which was strictly double-edged and two-faced, like some of those Herms that are double and alike from either side, whichever part of them you turn to?
ἢ τί γὰρ μᾶλλον ὁ Κροῖσος διαβὰς τὸν Ἅλυν τὴν αὑτοῦ ἀρχὴν ἢ τὴν Κύρου καταλύσει;
For why should Croesus, by crossing the Halys, destroy his own empire rather than that of Cyrus?
καίτοι οὐκ ὀλίγων ταλάντων ὁ Σαρδιανὸς ἐκεῖνος ὄλεθρος τὸ ἀμφιδέξιον τοῦτο ἔπος ἐπρίατο.
Yet that ruined man of Sardis bought this ambiguous verse for not a few talents.
Μῶμος
αὐτά που, ὦ θεοί, ἁνὴρ διεξέρχεται λέγων ἃ ἐδεδίειν μάλιστα.
Momus Exactly those things, O gods, the man is discussing, saying what I feared most.
ποῦ νῦν ὁ καλὸς ἡμῖν κιθαρῳδός;
Where is our fine cithara-player now?
ἀπολόγησαι αὐτῷ κατελθὼν πρὸς ταῦτα.
Go down and defend yourself to him against these charges.
Ζεύς
σὺ ἡμᾶς ἐπισφάττεις, ὦ Μῶμε, οὐκ ἐν καιρῷ νῦν ἐπιτιμῶν.
Zeus You are slaughtering us, Momus, by censuring us now at an inopportune time.
§44Τιμοκλῆς
ὅρα οἷα ποιεῖς, ὦ ἀλιτήριε Δᾶμι, μονονουχὶ τὰ ἕδη αὐτὰ τῶν θεῶν ἀνατρέπεις τῷ λόγῳ καὶ βωμοὺς αὐτῶν.
Timocles See what you are doing, you scoundrel Damis; you are all but overturning by your argument the very images of the gods and their altars.
Δάμις
οὐ πάντας ἔγωγε τοὺς βωμούς, ὦ Τιμόκλεις. τί γὰρ καὶ δεινὸν ἀπʼ αὐτῶν γίγνεται, εἰ θυμιαμάτων καὶ εὐωδίας μεστοί εἰσι;
Damis Not all the altars, for my part, Timocles; for what harm comes from them, if they are full of incense and sweet odors?
τοὺς δὲ ἐν Ταύροις τῆς Ἀρτέμιδος ἡδέως ἂν ἐπεῖδον ἐκ βάθρων ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν ἀνατρεπομένους, ἐφʼ ὧν τοιαῦτα ἡ παρθένος εὐωχουμένη ἔχαιρεν.
But those of Artemis among the Tauri I would gladly have seen overturned from their foundations headlong, upon which the virgin rejoiced to feast on such things.
Ζεύς
τουτὶ πόθεν ἡμῖν τὸ ἄμαχον κακὸν ἐπιχεῖ;
Zeus From where is this irresistible plague pouring upon us?
ὡς δαιμόνων οὐδενὸς ἁνὴρ φείδεται, ἀλλʼ ἐξ ἁμάξης παρρησιάζεται καὶ
"μάρπτει ἑξείης, ὅς τʼ αἴτιος ὅς τε καὶ οὐκί. "
Μῶμος
καὶ μὴν ὀλίγους ἄν, ὦ Ζεῦ, τοὺς ἀναιτίους εὕροις ἐν ἡμῖν· καί που τάχα προϊὼν ὁ ἄνθρωπος ἅψεται καὶ τῶν κορυφαίων τινός.
How the man spares none of the divinities, but speaks with license as from a wagon, and "seizes in turn whoever is guilty and whoever is not!" Momus And indeed, Zeus, you would find few among us who are guiltless; and I suppose before long the man will lay hands on some of the foremost of us too.