And again, let the choreutae stand by as fools, so that I may flip them with little phrases.
§445δώσω· πυκνῇ γὰρ λεπτὰ μηχανᾷ φρενί.
Euripides: I will give them; for you scheme fine things with your thick mind.
§446εὐδαιμονοίης, Τηλέφῳ δʼ ἁγὼ φρονῶ.
Dicaeopolis: May you be happy, and may what I wish happen to Telephus.
§447εὖ γʼ οἷον ἤδη ῥηματίων ἐμπίμπλαμαι.
How well indeed I am already filled with little phrases!
§448ἀτὰρ δέομαί γε πτωχικοῦ βακτηρίου.
And yet I need a beggar's staff.
§449τουτὶ λαβὼν ἄπελθε λαΐνων σταθμῶν.
Euripides: Take this and depart from the stone thresholds.
§450ὦ θύμʼ, ὁρᾷς γὰρ ὡς ἀπωθοῦμαι δόμων, §451πολλῶν δεόμενος σκευαρίων· νῦν δὴ γενοῦ §452γλίσχρος προσαιτῶν λιπαρῶν τʼ.
Dicaeopolis: O my heart, for you see how I am pushed away from the house, needing many little utensils; now indeed become importunate and persistent in begging.
Εὐριπίδη §453δός μοι σπυρίδιον διακεκαυμένον λύχνῳ.
Euripides, give me a little basket singed by a lamp.
§454τί δʼ ὦ τάλας σε τοῦδʼ ἔχει πλέκους χρέος;
Euripides: O wretched man, what need of this wickerwork holds you?
§455χρέος μὲν οὐδέν, βούλομαι δʼ ὅμως λαβεῖν.
Dicaeopolis: No need, but nevertheless I wish to take it.
§456λυπηρὸς ἴσθʼ ὢν κἀποχώρησον δόμων.
Euripides: Know that you are troublesome, and depart from the house.
§457φεῦ·
Dicaeopolis: Alas!
§457aεὐδαιμονοίης, ὥσπερ ἡ μήτηρ ποτέ.
May you be happy, just as your mother once was.
§458ἄπελθε νῦν μοι.
Euripides: Depart now, I beg you.
Dicaeopolis: No, but give me just one thing, a little cup with a chipped rim.
§460φθείρου λαβὼν τόδʼ· ἴσθʼ ὀχληρὸς ὢν δόμοις.
Euripides: Go to ruin and take this; know that you are a nuisance to the house.
§461οὔπω μὰ Δίʼ·
Dicaeopolis: Not yet, by Zeus!
οἶσθʼ οἷʼ αὐτὸς ἐργάζει κακά.
You know what evils you yourself compose.
But, O sweetest Euripides, just this one thing give me, a little pot stuffed with a sponge.
§464ὦνθρωπʼ ἀφαιρήσει με τὴν τραγῳδίαν·
Euripides: You will rob me of my tragedy, man!
§465ἄπελθε ταυτηνὶ λαβών.
Take this and depart.
§465bἀπέρχομαι.
Dicaeopolis: I am departing.
§466καίτοι τί δράσω;
And yet what shall I do?
δεῖ γὰρ ἑνὸς οὗ μὴ τυχὼν §467ἀπόλωλʼ.
For I need one thing, which if I do not obtain I am ruined.
ἄκουσον ὦ γλυκύτατʼ Εὐριπίδη· §468τουτὶ λαβὼν ἄπειμι κοὐ πρόσειμʼ ἔτι· §469ἐς τὸ σπυρίδιον ἰσχνά μοι φυλλεῖα δός.
Hear me, O sweetest Euripides, I will take this and depart and will not come back again; give me some withered leaves into my little basket.
§470ἀπολεῖς μʼ.
Euripides: You will destroy me.
ἰδού σοι.
Here they are for you.
φροῦδά μοι τὰ δράματα.
My plays are gone!
§471ἀλλʼ οὐκέτʼ, ἀλλʼ ἄπειμι.
Dicaeopolis: But no more, I am departing.
καὶ γάρ εἰμʼ ἄγαν §472ὀχληρός, οὐ δοκῶν με κοιράνους στυγεῖν.
For indeed I am too troublesome, not thinking that the rulers hate me.
§473οἴμοι κακοδαίμων, ὡς ἀπόλωλʼ.
Ah, wretched me, how I am ruined!
ἐπελαθόμην §474ἐν ᾧπέρ ἐστι πάντα μοι τὰ πράγματα.
I forgot the very thing on which all my affairs depend.
§475Εὐριπίδιον ὦ φιλτάτιον καὶ γλυκύτατον, §476κάκιστʼ ἀπολοίμην, εἴ τί σʼ αἰτήσαιμʼ ἔτι, §477πλὴν ἓν μόνον, τουτὶ μόνον τουτὶ μόνον, §478σκάνδικά μοι δὸς μητρόθεν δεδεγμένος.
Euripides, dearest and sweetest little Euripides, may I perish most miserably if I ask anything else of you, except only one thing, just this one, just this one, give me some chervil, having received it from your mother.
§479ἁνὴρ ὑβρίζει· κλῇε πηκτὰ δωμάτων.
Euripides: The man is insulting; bar the doors of the house.
§480ὦ θύμʼ ἄνευ σκάνδικος ἐμπορευτέα.
Dicaeopolis: O my heart, we must travel without chervil.
Do you know how great a contest you will soon contest, about to speak on behalf of Lacedaemonian men?
§483πρόβαινέ νυν ὦ θυμέ· γραμμὴ δʼ αὑτηί.
Go forward now, O my heart; and here is the line.
§484ἕστηκας;
Do you stand?
οὐκ εἶ καταπιὼν Εὐριπίδην;
Will you not go, having swallowed Euripides?
§485ἐπῄνεσʼ·
I approve!
ἄγε νυν ὦ τάλαινα καρδία §486ἄπελθʼ ἐκεῖσε, κᾆτα τὴν κεφαλὴν ἐκεῖ §487παράσχες εἰποῦσʼ ἅττʼ ἂν αὐτῇ σοι δοκῇ.
Come now, O wretched heart, depart thither, and then offer your head there, having said whatever things may seem best to yourself.
§488τόλμησον ἴθι χώρησον, ἄγαμαι καρδίας.
Be bold, go, proceed; I admire my heart.
§490τί δράσεις;
Hemi-Chorus: What will you do?
τί φήσεις;
What will you say?
εὖ ἴσθι νυν §491ἀναίσχυντος ὢν σιδηροῦς τʼ ἀνήρ, §492ὅστις παρασχὼν τῇ πόλει τὸν αὐχένα §493ἅπασι μέλλεις εἷς λέγειν τἀναντία.
Know well now that you are a shameless and iron man, who, having offered your neck to the city, are about to speak the opposite to all, being one against all.
§494ἁνὴρ οὐ τρέμει τὸ πρᾶγμʼ.
The man does not tremble at the deed.
εἶά νυν, §495ἐπειδήπερ αὐτὸς αἱρεῖ, λέγε.
Come now, since you yourself choose, speak.
§496μή μοι φθονήσητʼ ἄνδρες οἱ θεώμενοι, §497εἰ πτωχὸς ὢν ἔπειτʼ ἐν Ἀθηναίοις λέγειν §498μέλλω περὶ τῆς πόλεως, τρυγῳδίαν ποιῶν.
Dicaeopolis: Do not begrudge me, O spectators, if, being a beggar, I then am about to speak among Athenians concerning the city, making a comedy.
§500τὸ γὰρ δίκαιον οἶδε καὶ τρυγῳδία.
For even comedy knows what is just.
§501ἐγὼ δὲ λέξω δεινὰ μὲν δίκαια δέ.
And I shall speak terrible but just things.
For Cleon indeed will not now slander me that I speak ill of the city in the presence of strangers.
§504αὐτοὶ γάρ ἐσμεν οὑπὶ Ληναίῳ τʼ ἀγών, §505κοὔπω ξένοι πάρεισιν· οὔτε γὰρ φόροι §506ἥκουσιν οὔτʼ ἐκ τῶν πόλεων οἱ ξύμμαχοι· §507ἀλλʼ ἐσμὲν αὐτοὶ νῦν γε περιεπτισμένοι· §508τοὺς γὰρ μετοίκους ἄχυρα τῶν ἀστῶν λέγω.
For we are by ourselves, and it is the contest at the Lenaea, and strangers are not yet present; for neither have the tributes arrived, nor the allies from the cities; but we are by ourselves now, thoroughly winnowed; for I call the resident aliens the chaff of the citizens.
§509ἐγὼ δὲ μισῶ μὲν Λακεδαιμονίους σφόδρα, §510καὐτοῖς ὁ Ποσειδῶν οὑπὶ Ταινάρῳ θεὸς §511σείσας ἅπασιν ἐμβάλοι τὰς οἰκίας· §512κἀμοὶ γάρ ἐστʼ ἀμπέλια διακεκομμένα.
And I indeed hate the Lacedaemonians exceedingly, and may Poseidon, the god at Taenarum, having shaken everything, throw down their houses; for I too have my little vines cut down.
But yet, for those present in our talk are friends, why do we blame the Spartans for these things?
§515ἡμῶν γὰρ ἄνδρες, κοὐχὶ τὴν πόλιν λέγω, §516μέμνησθε τοῦθʼ ὅτι οὐχὶ τὴν πόλιν λέγω, §517ἀλλʼ ἀνδράρια μοχθηρά, παρακεκομμένα, §518ἄτιμα καὶ παράσημα καὶ παράξενα, §519ἐσυκοφάντει Μεγαρέων τὰ χλανίσκια· §520κεἴ που σίκυον ἴδοιεν ἢ λαγῴδιον §521ἢ χοιρίδιον ἢ σκόροδον ἢ χόνδρους ἅλας, §522ταῦτʼ ἦν Μεγαρικὰ κἀπέπρατʼ αὐθημερόν.
For some men of ours—and I do not mean the city, remember this, that I do not mean the city— but worthless little men, counterfeit, dishonored and mis-stamped and foreign-ish, kept denouncing the little cloaks of the Megarians; and if they saw anywhere a cucumber or a little hare or a piglet or garlic or lumps of salt, these were 'Megarian' and were sold on the same day.
§523καὶ ταῦτα μὲν δὴ σμικρὰ κἀπιχώρια, §524πόρνην δὲ Σιμαίθαν ἰόντες Μεγαράδε §525νεανίαι κλέπτουσι μεθυσοκότταβοι· §526κᾆθʼ οἱ Μεγαρῆς ὀδύναις πεφυσιγγωμένοι §527ἀντεξέκλεψαν Ἀσπασίας πόρνα δύο· §528κἀντεῦθεν ἀρχὴ τοῦ πολέμου κατερράγη §529Ἕλλησι πᾶσιν ἐκ τριῶν λαικαστριῶν.
And these indeed were small and local, but some young men, drunk at cottabus, going to Megara, stole the harlot Simaetha; and then the Megarians, garlic-inflamed with grief, stole in return two harlots of Aspasia; and from there the beginning of the war broke out for all the Greeks, from three whores.