Humanitext Reader

Plutarch · Consolation to His Wife §5-6

Praise of the Wife's Restraint and Warning against Grief

Passage 2 of 4 · Greek

Summary

The author praises his wife's simple lifestyle and her outstanding self-control shown during their previous losses of their eldest child and Chaeron. He argues that since mourning becomes extremely difficult to expel once it settles in, one must resist it at the onset and support the grieving soul by keeping the body healthy rather than indulging in harsh physical neglect.

§5ἀλλʼ ἡμῖν γε, γύναι, πρὸς ἀλλήλους οὔτʼ ἐκείνης ἐδέησε τῆς μάχης οὔτε ταύτης οἶμαι δεήσειν.
But for us, my wife, in our relations with each other, there was no need of that former battle, nor do I think there will be need of this one.
εὐτελείᾳ μὲν γὰρ τῇ περὶ τὸ σῶμα καὶ ἀθρυψίᾳ τῇ περὶ δίαιταν οὐδείς ἐστι τῶν φιλοσόφων, ὃν οὐκ ἐξέπληξας; ἐν ὁμιλίᾳ καὶ συνηθείᾳ γενόμενον ἡμῖν· οὐδὲ τῶν πολιτῶν, ᾧ μὴ θέαμα παρέχεις ἐν ἱεροῖς καὶ θυσίαις καὶ θεάτροις τὴν· σεαυτῆς ἀφέλειαν.
For by your simplicity regarding the body and frugality in lifestyle, there is none of the philosophers who was not struck with admiration, having come into association and intimacy with us; nor any of our citizens, to whom you did not present your simplicity as a fine spectacle in temples, sacrifices, and theaters.
ἤδη δὲ καὶ περὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα πολλὴν εὐστάθειαν ἐπεδείξω, τὸ πρεσβύτατον τῶν τέκνων ἀποβαλοῦσα· καὶ πάλιν, ἐκείνου τοῦ καλοῦ Χαίρωνος ἡμᾶς προλιπόντος.
And already, in such situations as these, you showed great steadfastness, when you lost the eldest of your children, and again when that beautiful Chaeron left us.
μέμνημαι γὰρ ἀπὸ θαλάσσης ξένους μοι συνοδεύσαντας, ἀπηγγελμένης τῆς τοῦ παιδίου τελευτῆς, καὶ συνελθόντας ἅμα τοῖς ἄλλοις ἐς τὴν οἰκίαν· ἐπεὶ δὲ πολλὴν κατάστασιν ἑώρων καὶ ἡσυχίαν, ὡς ὕστερον διηγοῦντο καὶ πρὸς ἑτέρους, ᾤοντο μηδὲν εἶναι δεινὸν ἀλλὰ κενὸν ἄλλως ἐξενηνέχθαι λόγον·
For I remember some guests who had traveled with me from the sea, when the death of the child was announced, coming along with the others to the house; and when they saw such composure and quietness, as they later related to others, they thought that nothing terrible had happened, but that a report had been spread in vain.
οὕτω σωφρόνως κατεκόσμησας τὸν οἶκον ἐν καιρῷ πολλὴν ἀκοσμίας ἐξουσίαν διδόντι, καίτοι τῷ σεαυτῆς ἐκεῖνον μαστῷ ἐξέθρεψας καὶ τομῆς ἠνέσχου τῆς θηλῆς περίθλασιν λαβούσης· γενναῖα γὰρ ταῦτα καὶ φιλόστοργα.
So temperately did you arrange the house at a time that gave much license for disorder, and yet you yourself nursed him with your own breast, and endured incision when your nipple was bruised; for these are noble and affectionate deeds.
§6τὰς δὲ πολλὰς ὁρῶμεν μητέρας, ὅταν ὑπʼ ἄλλων τὰ παιδία καθαρθῇ καὶ γανωθῇ, καθάπερ παίγνια λαμβανούσας εἰς χεῖρας, εἶτʼ ἀποθανόντων ἐκχεομένας εἰς κενὸν καὶ ἀχάριστον πένθος, οὐχ ὑπʼ εὐνοίας ʽ εὐλόγιστον γὰρ εὔνοια καὶ καλόν̓· ἀλλὰ μικρῷ τῷ φυσικῷ πάθει πολὺ συγκεραννύμενον τὸ πρὸς κενὴν δόξαν ἄγρια ποιεῖ καὶ μανικὰ καὶ δυσεξίλαστα τὰ πένθη.
But we see most mothers, when their children have been washed and dressed by others, taking them in their hands like playthings, and then, when they die, pouring themselves out into a futile and thankless mourning, not out of affection (for affection is rational and noble), but when a little of the natural feeling is mixed with much that leads to vain opinion, it makes their mourning wild, frantic, and hard to appease.
καὶ τοῦτο φαίνεται μὴ λαθεῖν Αἴσωπον· ἔφη γὰρ οὗτος ὅτι, τοῦ Διὸς τὰς τιμὰς διανέμοντος τοῖς θεοῖς, ᾔτει καὶ τὸ πένθος.
And this seems not to have escaped Aesop; for he said that when Zeus was distributing honors to the gods, Mourning also made a request.
ἔδωκεν οὖν αὐτῷ, παρὰ τοῖς αἱρουμένοις δὲ μόνοις καὶ θέλουσιν.
He granted it to him, but only among those who choose and wish for it.
ἐν ἀρχῇ μὲν οὖν οὕτω τοῦτο γιγνόμενόν ἐστιν· αὐτὸς γὰρ ἕκαστος εἰσάγει τὸ πένθος ἐφʼ ἑαυτόν.
In the beginning, then, this is how it happens: each person introduces mourning upon themselves.
ὅταν δʼ ἱδρυθῇ χρόνῳ καὶ γένηται σύντροφον καὶ σύνοικον, οὐδὲ πάνυ βουλομένων ἀπαλλάττεται.
But when it has settled in over time and become a housemate and companion, it does not depart even when they wish it ever so much.
διὸ δεῖ μάχεσθαι περὶ θύρας αὐτῷ καὶ μὴ προσίεσθαι, φρουρὰν διʼ ἐσθῆτος ἢ κουρᾶς ἤ τινος ἄλλου τῶν τοιούτων, ἃ καθʼ ἡμέραν ἀπαντῶντα καὶ δυσωποῦντα μικρὰν καὶ στενὴν καὶ ἀνέξοδον καὶ ἀμείλικτον καὶ ψοφοδεῆ ποιεῖ τὴν διάνοιαν, ὡς οὔτε γέλωτος αὐτῇ μετὸν οὔτε φωτὸς οὔτε φιλανθρώπου τραπέζης, τοιαῦτα περικειμένῃ καὶ μεταχειριζομένῃ διὰ τὸ πένθος.
Therefore, we must fight it at the gates and not let it gain a foothold through clothing or hair-cutting or any other such things, which, meeting us daily and making us feel shame, make the mind small, narrow, closed-in, harsh, and fearful, as if it had no share of laughter or light or human table, being surrounded by and handling such things because of mourning.
ἀμέλειαι δὲ σώματος ἕπονται τῷ κακῷ τούτῳ καὶ διαβολαὶ πρὸς ἄλειμμα καὶ λουτρὸν καὶ τὴν ἄλλην δίαιταν ὧν πᾶν τοὐναντίον ἔδει, τὴν ψυχὴν πονοῦσαν αὐτὴν βοηθεῖσθαι διὰ τοῦ σώματος ἐρρωμένου.
Neglect of the body follows upon this evil, and aversion to anointing, bathing, and other ways of life; whereas the very opposite ought to be the case, and the laboring soul itself ought to be assisted by a strong body.
πολὺ γὰρ ἀμβλύνεται καὶ χαλᾶται τοῦ λυποῦντος, ὥσπερ ἐν εὐδίᾳ κῦμα, τῇ γαλήνῃ τοῦ σώματος διαχεομένου.
For much of what pains us is blunted and relaxed, like a wave in fair weather, when the calm of the body diffuses.
ἐὰν δʼ αὐχμὸς ἐγγένηται καὶ τραχύτης ἐκ φαύλης διαίτης, καὶ μηδὲν εὐμενὲς μηδὲ χρηστὸν ἀναπέμπῃ τὸ σῶμα τῇ ψυχῇ πλὴν ὀδύνας καὶ λύπας, ὥσπερ τινὰς πικρὰς καὶ δυσχερεῖς ἀναθυμιάσεις, οὐδὲ βουλομένοις ἔτι ῥᾳδίως ἀναλαβεῖν ἔστι.
But if dryness and roughness arise from a poor lifestyle, and the body sends up to the soul nothing pleasant or good but only pain and grief, like some bitter and offensive vapors, it is no longer easy to recover oneself, even for those who wish it.
τοιαῦτα λαμβάνει πάθη τὴν ψυχὴν οὕτω κακωθεῖσαν.
Such are the passions that take hold of the soul when it has been thus weakened.

Notes

  1. 609cγενόμενον ἡμῖν — An accusative singular masculine participle agreeing with the relative pronoun ὃν (the object of ἐξέπληξας), which refers to one of the philosophers (τῶν φιλοσόφων). The pronoun ἡμῖν is a dative of association or relation with the participle.
  2. 609dἀπηγγελμένης τῆς τοῦ παιδίου τελευτῆς — A genitive absolute construction consisting of the noun τελευτῆς and the passive participle ἀπηγγελμένης, functioning adverbially to indicate the time when the death of the child was announced.
  3. 609eἀκοσμίας ἐξουσίαν διδόντι — A participial phrase led by διδόντι (dative singular masculine), which modifies the noun καιρῷ in the prepositional phrase ἐν καιρῷ. It means 'at a critical time that gives much license or opportunity for disorder (ἀκοσμία, referring to the excess of grief during mourning)'.
  4. 609fτὸ πρὸς κενὴν δόξαν — A prepositional phrase substantivized by the neuter singular article τό, serving as the true subject of the clause. It is modified by the participle συγκεραννύμενον (mixed with) and controls the main verb ποιεῖ.
  5. 610aὡς οὔτε γέλωτος αὐτῇ μετὸν — The conjunction ὡς introducing a subjective comparison or state, combined with μετόν, the accusative absolute of the impersonal verb μέτεστι (to have a share in). The pronoun αὐτῇ (dative of possession) refers back to τὴν διάνοιαν (the mind): 'as though there were no share of laughter for it'.
  6. 610aὧν πᾶν τοὐναντίον ἔδει — The relative pronoun ὧν (genitive plural) refers back to the physical neglects and avoidances. It depends on the impersonal imperfect ἔδει (it was necessary / ought to have been), expressing 'the very opposite of which (practices) ought to have been done.'

Cite this passage

Plutarch, Consolation to His Wife §5-6. Humanitext Reader, https://reader.humanitext.ai/en/text/urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0007.tlg111.humanitext-grc2:5-6

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