§1ὅν ἔπεμψας ἀπαγγελοῦντα περὶ τῆς τοῦ παιδίου τελευτῆς·
The messenger whom you sent to report the death of our little child seems to have missed his way on his journey to Athens.
, ἔοικε διημαρτηκέναι καθʼ ὁδὸν εἰς Ἀθήνας πορευόμενος· ἐγὼ δʼ εἰς Τάναγραν ἐλθὼν ἐπυθόμην παρὰ τῆς θυγατριδῆς.
But when I reached Tanagra, I learned of it from my niece.
τὰ μὲν οὖν περὶ τὴν ταφὴν ἤδη νομίζω γεγονέναι·
Now, as to the matters concerning the funeral, I think they have already been taken care of.
γεγονότα δʼ ἐχέτω ὥς σοι μέλλει καὶ νῦν ἀλυπότατα καὶ πρὸς τὸ λοιπὸν ἕξειν.
And let what has been done remain in such a way as is likely to cause you the least pain both now and for the future.
εἰ δέ τι βουλομένη μὴ πεποίηκας ἀλλὰ μένεις τὴν ἐμὴν γνώμην, οἴει δὲ κουφότερον οἴσειν γενομένου· καὶ τοῦτʼ ἔσται δίχα πάσης περιεργίας καὶ δεισιδαιμονίας, ὧν ἥκιστά σοι μέτεστι.
But if there is something you wished to do but have not done, and you are waiting for my opinion, and you believe that you will bear this more easily if it is done, let it be so; and this too shall be free from all excessive display and superstition, which are things that least of all belong to you.
§2μόνον, ὦ γύναι, τήρει κἀμὲ τῷ πάθει καὶ σεαυτὴν ἐπὶ τοῦ καθεστῶτος.
Only, my wife, keep both me and yourself in a composed state under this affliction.
ἐγὼ γὰρ αὐτὸς μὲν οἶδα καὶ ὁρίζω τὸ συμβεβηκὸς ἡλίκον ἐστίν· ἂν δὲ σε τῷ δυσφορεῖν ὑπερβάλλουσαν εὕρω, τοῦτό μοι μᾶλλον ἐνοχλήσει τοῦ γεγονότος.
For I myself know and measure how great our loss is; but if I find you exceeding in grief, this will trouble me more than what has happened.
καίτοι οὐδʼ αὐτὸς
ἀπὸ δρυὸς οὐδʼ ἀπὸ πέτρης
ἐγενόμην οἶσθα δὲ καὶ αὐτή, τοσούτων μοι παιδίων ἀνατροφῆς κοινωνήσασα, πάντων ἐκτεθραμμένων οἴκοι διʼ αὐτῶν ἡμῶν·
And yet, I myself was not born "from oak or rock"; and you yourself know this, having shared with me the rearing of so many children, all of whom were brought up at home by our own hands.
τούτου δέ, ὅτι καὶ σοὶ ποθούσῃ θυγάτηρ μετὰ τέσσαρας υἱοὺς ἐγεννήθη κἀμοὶ τὸ σὸν ὄνομα θέσθαι ποθούμενον ἑν αὐτῇ παρέσχεν, ἀγαπητοῦ διαφερόντως μοι γενομένου.
And as for this child, since she was born to you, who longed for a daughter after four sons, and since she gave me the opportunity to give her your own beloved name, she was exceptionally dear to me.
πρόσεστι δὲ καὶ δριμύτης ἰδία τις τῷ πρὸς τὰ τηλικαῦτα φιλοστόργῳ, καὶ τὸ εὐφραῖνον αὐτῶν καθαρόν ἐστι καὶ πάσης ἀμιγὲς ὀργῆς καὶ μέμψεως.
For there is a peculiar sweetness in our affection for children of that age; and the pleasure they give is pure and unmixed with any anger or resentment.
αὕτη δὲ καὶ φύσει θαυμαστὴν ἔσχεν εὐκολίαν καὶ πραότητα, καὶ τὸ ἀντιφιλοῦν καὶ χαριζόμενον αὐτῆς ἡδονὴν ἅμα καὶ κατανόησιν τοῦ φιλανθρώπου παρεῖχεν· , οὐ γὰρ μόνον βρέφεσιν ἄλλοις ἀλλὰ καὶ σκεύεσιν, οἷς ἐτέρπετο, καὶ παιγνίοις ἐκέλευε τὴν τίτθην διδόναι καὶ προσφέρειν τὸν μαστὸν καὶ προσεκαλεῖτο καθάπερ πρὸς τράπεζαν ἰδίαν ὑπὸ φιλανθρωπίας, ὧνπερ ἐγίγνωσκε καὶ εἶχε τὰ ἥδιστα κοινουμένη τοῖς εὐφραίνουσιν αὐτήν.
And she herself possessed by nature a wonderful good temper and gentleness, and her responsiveness and sweetness afforded at once pleasure and a realization of her kindness; for she used to bid her nurse give the breast and offer it not only to other babies, but also to the toys and playthings she delighted in, and as it were, out of friendliness, invited them to her own table, sharing what she knew and had of the sweetest things with those that gave her pleasure.
§3ἀλλʼ οὐχ ὁρῶ, γύναι, διὰ τί ταῦτα καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα ζώσης μὲν ἔτερπεν ἡμᾶς νυνὶ δʼ ἀνιάσει καὶ συνταράξει, λαμβάνοντας ἐπίνοιαν αὐτῶν.
But I do not see, my wife, why these and similar things, which delighted us while she lived, should now pain and distress us when we think of them.
ἀλλὰ καὶ δέδια πάλιν, μὴ συνεκβάλωμεν τῷ λυποῦντι τὴν μνήμην, ὥσπερ ἡ Κλυμένη λέγουσα
"
μισῶ δʼ εὐάγκαλον
τόξον κρανείας, γυμνάσιά δʼ οἴχετ
"
ἀεὶ φεύγουσα καὶ τρέμουσα τὴν ὑπόμνησιν τοῦ παιδός, ὅτι συμπαροῦσαν λύπην εἶχεν· πᾶν γὰρ ἡ φύσις φεύγει τὸ δυσχεραινόμενον.
Indeed, on the contrary, I fear lest we should cast out the memory of her along with our pain, like Clymene who says, "I hate the well-bent bow of cornel-wood, and the gymnasia are gone," always avoiding and trembling at the remembrance of her son because it brought pain along with it; for nature flees from everything that causes annoyance.
δεῖ γάρ, ὥσπερ αὐτὴ πάντων ἥδιστον ἡμῖν ἄσπασμα καὶ θέαμα καὶ ἄκουσμα παρεῖχεν ἑαυτήν, οὕτω καὶ τὴν ἐπίνοιαν αὐτῆς ἐνδιαιτᾶσθαι καὶ συμβιοῦν ἡμῖν πλέον ἔχουσαν, μᾶλλον δὲ πολλαπλάσιον, τὸ εὐφραῖνον ἢ τὸ λυποῦν· εἴπερ ἄρα τι τῶν λόγων, οὓς πολλάκις εἰρήκαμεν πρὸς ἑτέρους, εἰκός ἐστι καὶ ἡμῖν ὄφελος ἐν καιρῷ γενέσθαι, καὶ μὴ καθῆσθαι μηδʼ ἐγκεκλεῖσθαι πολλαπλασίας ταῖς ἡδοναῖς ἐκείναις λύπας ἀντιδιδόντας.
For we ought to ensure that, just as she herself presented to us the sweetest embrace, sight, and hearing, so also her memory should dwell and live with us, possessing a greater, or rather many times greater, share of joy than of sorrow; if indeed any of the arguments which we have often spoken to others are likely to be of benefit to ourselves also in our hour of need, and we are not to sit still or shut ourselves up, returning many times greater sorrows in exchange for those pleasures.
§4καὶ τοῦτο, λέγουσιν οἱ παραγενόμενοι καὶ θαυμάζοντες, ὡς οὐδʼ ἱμάτιον ἤλλαξας οὐδὲ σαυτῇ τινα προσήγαγες ἢ θεραπαινίσιν ἀτημέλειαν·
And this too, those who were present report and marvel at: that you did not even change your garment, nor did you subject yourself or your maids to any unkemptness.
οὐδʼ ἦν παρασκευὴ πολυτελείας πανηγυρικῆς περὶ τὴν ταφήν, ἀλλʼ ἐπράττετο κοσμίως πάντα καὶ σιωπῇ μετὰ τῶν ἀναγκαίων.
Nor was there any preparation for festive luxury about the funeral, but everything was done decently and in silence with only the closest relatives present.
ἐγὼ δὲ τοῦτο μὲν οὐκ ἐθαύμαζον, εἰ μηδέποτε καλλωπισαμένη περὶ θέατρον ἢ πομπὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ πρὸς ἡδονὰς ἄχρηστον ἡγησαμένη τὴν πολυτέλειαν, ἐν τοῖς σκυθρωποῖς διεφύλαξας τὸ ἀφελὲς καὶ λιτόν.
But I did not wonder at this, that you, who had never adorned yourself for the theater or a procession and had considered luxury useless even for pleasures, should have preserved your simplicity and frugality in times of sorrow.
οὐ γάρ
ἐν βακχεύμασι
δεῖ μόνον τὴν σώφρονα μένειν ἀδιάφθορον, ἀλλὰ μηδὲν οἴεσθαι ἧττον τὸν ἐν πένθεσι σάλον καὶ τὸ κίνημα τοῦ πάθους ἐγκρατείας δεῖσθαι διαμαχομένης οὐ πρὸς τὸ φιλόστοργον, ὡς οἱ πολλοὶ νομίζουσιν, ἀλλὰ πρὸς τὸ ἀκόλαστον τῆς ψυχῆς.
For the virtuous woman ought not only to remain "in Bacchic revels" incorruptible, but also to think that the tempest in times of mourning and the agitation of passion need self-control no less, a self-control that fights not against affection, as most people think, but against the disorderliness of the soul.
τῷ μὲν γὰρ φιλοστόργῳ χαριζόμεθα τὸ ποθεῖν καὶ τὸ τιμᾶν καὶ τὸ μεμνῆσθαι τῶν ἀπογενομένων, ἡ δὲ θρήνων ἄπληστος ἐπιθυμία καὶ πρὸς ὀλοφύρσεις ἐξάγουσα καὶ κοπετοὺς αἰσχρὰ μὲν οὐχ ἧττον τῆς περὶ τὰς ἡδονὰς ἀκρασίας, λόγῳ δὲ συγγνώμης ἔτυχεν, ὅτι τὸ λυπηρὸν αὐτῆς καὶ πικρὸν ἀντὶ τοῦ τερπνοῦ τῷ αἰσχρῷ πρόσεστι.
For to affection we grant the longing, the honoring, and the remembering of those who are gone; but the insatiable desire for lamentation, which leads to wailing and breast-beating, is no less shameful than incontinence in pleasures, though it meets with excuse because its shamefulness is accompanied by pain and bitterness instead of delight.
τί γὰρ ἀλογώτερον ἢ τὸ γέλωτος μὲν ὑπερβολὰς καὶ περιχαρείας ἀφαιρεῖν, τοῖς δὲ κλαυθμῶν καὶ ὀδυρμῶν ῥεύμασιν ἐκ μιᾶς πηγῆς φερομένων εἰς ἅπαν ἐφιέναι;
For what is more irrational than to curtail excessive laughter and joys, but to give full rein to the torrents of weeping and wailing that flow from the very same source?
καὶ περὶ μύρου μὲν ἐνίους καὶ πορφύρας διαμάχεσθαι ταῖς γυναιξί, κουρὰς δὲ συγχωρεῖν πενθίμους καὶ βαφὰς ἐσθῆτος μελαίνας καὶ καθίσεις ἀμόρφους καὶ κατακλίσεις ἐπιπόνους;
And that some men quarrel with their wives about perfume and purple clothing, but permit them to shave their hair in mourning, dye their garments black, sit in unseemly postures, and lie down in painful discomfort?
καί, ὃ δὴ πάντων ἐστὶ χαλεπώτατον, ἂν οἰκέτας ἢ θεραπαινίδας κολάζωσιν ἀμέτρως καὶ ἀδίκως, ἐνίστασθαι καὶ κωλύειν αὐτάς, ὑφʼ ἑαυτῶν δʼ ὠμῶς κολαζομένας καὶ πικρῶς περιορᾶν ἐν πάθεσι καὶ τύχαις ῥᾳστώνης καὶ φιλανθρωπίας δεομέναις;
And, what is indeed the hardest of all, that while they interpose and prevent their wives if they punish menservants or maidservants excessively and unjustly, they look on and permit them to punish themselves cruelly and bitterly in times of sorrow and misfortune when they stand in need of comfort and kindness?