§25ὁ Σωκράτης ἐκέλευε τῶν ἐσοπτριζομένων νεανίσκων τοὺς μὲν αἰσχροὺς ἐπανορθοῦσθαι τῇ ἀρετῇ, τοὺς δὲ καλοὺς μὴ καταισχύνειν τῇ κακίᾳ τὸ εἶδος.
Socrates exhorted those of the young men who looked into mirrors that those who were ugly should correct themselves by virtue, and those who were beautiful should not disgrace their appearance by vice.
καλὸν οὖν καὶ τὴν οἰκοδέσποιναν, ὅταν ἐν ταῖς χερσὶν ἔχῃ τὸ ἔσοπτρον, αὐτὴν ἐν ἑαυτῇ διαλαλεῖν, τὴν μὲν αἰσχρὰν
τί οὖν, ἂν μὴ σώφρων γένωμαι; τὴν δὲ καλὴν τί
οὖν, ἂν καὶ σώφρων γένωμαι; τῇ γὰρ αἰσχρᾷ σεμνότερον εἰ φιλεῖται διὰ τὸ ἦθος ἢ τὸ κάλλος.
It is beautiful, therefore, also for the mistress of the house, when she holds the mirror in her hands, to converse with herself in her own mind: if she is ugly, "What then, if I should not be prudent?"; and if she is beautiful, "What then, if I should also be prudent?" For to the ugly woman it is more honorable if she is loved because of her character than because of her beauty.
§26ταῖς Λυσάνδρου θυγατράσιν ὁ τύραννος ὁ Σικελικὸς ἱμάτια καὶ πλόκια τῶν πολυτελῶν ἔπεμψεν ὁ δὲ Λύσανδρος οὐκ ἔλαβεν εἰπών
ταῦτα τὰ κόσμια καταισχυνεῖ μου μᾶλλον ἢ κοσμήσει τὰς θυγατέρας. πρότερος δὲ Λυσάνδρου Σοφοκλῆς τοῦτʼ εἶπεν
"
οὐ κόσμος, οὔκ, ὦ τλῆμον, ἀλλʼ ἀκοσμία
φαίνοιτʼ ἂν εἶναι σῶν τε μαργότης φρενῶν
"
κόσμος γάρ ἐστιν,
ὡς ἔλεγε Κράτης,
τὸ κοσμοῦν
κοσμεῖ δὲ τὸ κοσμιωτέραν τὴν γυναῖκα ποιοῦν.
The Sicilian tyrant sent expensive robes and necklaces to Lysander’s daughters, but Lysander did not accept them, saying: "These ornaments will disgrace my daughters rather than adorn them." And before Lysander, Sophocles said this: "No ornament, no, oh wretched one, but disorder, and the madness of your mind would it appear to be." For ornament is, as Crates used to say, that which adorns; and that which makes a woman more orderly adorns her.
ποιεῖ δὲ τοιαύτην οὔτε χρυσὸς οὔτε σμάραγδος οὔτε κόκκος, ἀλλʼ ὅσα σεμνότητος εὐταξίας αἰδοῦς ἔμφασιν περιτίθησιν.
And neither gold nor emerald nor scarlet dye makes her such, but whatever bestows an expression of dignity, good order, and modesty.
§27οἱ τῇ γαμηλίᾳ θύοντες Ἥρᾳ τὴν χολὴν οὐ συγκαθαγίζουσι τοῖς ἄλλοις ἱεροῖς, ἀλλʼ ἐξελόντες ἔρριψαν παρὰ τὸν βωμόν, αἰνιττομένου τοῦ νομοθέτου τὸ μηδέποτε δεῖν χολὴν μηδʼ ὀργὴν γάμῳ παρεῖναι.
Those who sacrifice to Hera of Marriage do not burn the gall along with the other victims, but take it out and cast it beside the altar; the lawgiver thus hinting that gall and anger should never be present in marriage.
δεῖ γὰρ εἶναι τῆς οἰκοδεσποίνης ὥσπερ οἴνου τὸ αὐστηρὸν ὠφέλιμον καὶ ἡδύ, μὴ πικρὸν ὥσπερ ἀλόης μηδὲ φαρμακῶδες
For the austerity of the mistress of the house, like that of wine, ought to be beneficial and pleasant, not bitter like aloe nor medicinal.
§28ὁ Πλάτων τῷ Ξενοκράτει βαρυτέρῳ τὸ ἦθος ὄντι τἄλλα δὲ καλῷ κἀγαθῷ παρεκελεύετο θύειν ταῖς Χάρισιν.
Plato exhorted Xenocrates, who was rather heavy in character but otherwise a gentleman, to sacrifice to the Graces.
οἶμαι δὴ καὶ τῇ σώφρονι μάλιστα δεῖν πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα χαρίτων, ἵνʼ, ὡς ἔλεγε Μητρόδωρος,
ἡδέως συνοικῇ καὶ μὴ ὀργιζομένη ὅτι σωφρονεῖ
δεῖ γὰρ μήτε τὴν εὐτελῆ καθαριότητος ἀμελεῖν μήτε τὴν φίλανδρον φιλοφροσύνης ποιεῖ γὰρ ἡ χαλεπότης ἀηδῆ τὴν εὐταξίαν τῆς γυναικός ὥσπερ ἡ ῥυπαρία τὴν ἀφέλειαν,
So indeed I think that a prudent wife also has the greatest need of graces toward her husband, so that, as Metrodorus said, "she may dwell with him pleasantly, and not be angry because she is prudent." For neither should the frugal wife neglect cleanliness, nor the wife who loves her husband neglect friendliness. For harshness makes a woman's orderly behavior unpleasant, just as dirtiness does her simplicity.
§29ἡ φοβουμένη γελάσαι πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ παῖξαί τι, μὴ φανῇ θρασεῖα καὶ ἀκόλαστος, οὐδὲν διαφέρει τῆς ἵνα μὴ δοκῇ μυρίζεσθαι τὴν κεφαλὴν μηδʼ ἀλειφομένης, καὶ ἵνα μὴ φυκοῦσθαι τὸ πρόσωπον νιπτομένης; .
She who fears to laugh in her husband's presence and to play at all, lest she appear bold and licentious, differs in no way from one who does not even anoint her head lest she seem to wear perfume, and who washes herself lest she seem to paint her face.
ὁρῶμεν δὲ καὶ ποιητὰς καὶ ῥήτορας, ὅσοι φεύγουσι τὸ περὶ τὴν λέξιν ὀχλικὸν καὶ ἀνελεύθερον καὶ κακόζηλον, τοῖς πράγμασι καὶ ταῖς οἰκονομίαις καὶ τοῖς ἤθεσιν ἄγειν καὶ κινεῖν τὸν ἀκροατὴν φιλοτεχνοῦντας.
We see that both poets and orators, as many as avoid what is vulgar and illiberal and affected in expression, strive by means of their subject-matter, arrangement, and character to lead and move the listener.
διὸ δεῖ καὶ τὴν οἰκοδέσποιναν ὅτι πᾶν τὸ περιττὸν καὶ ἑταιρικὸν καὶ πανηγυρικόν, εὖ ποιοῦσα, φεύγει καὶ παραιτεῖται, μᾶλλον φιλοτεχνεῖν ἐν ταῖς ἠθικαῖς καὶ βιωτικαῖς χάρισι πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα, τῷ καλῷ μεθʼ ἡδονῆς συνεθίζουσαν αὐτόν;
Therefore, the mistress of the house also, since she wisely avoids and declines all that is superfluous, courtesan-like, and ostentatious, ought rather to strive in moral and daily graces toward her husband, habituating him to what is noble combined with pleasure.
ἂν δʼ ἄρα φύσει τις αὐστηρὰ καὶ ἄκρατος γένηται καὶ ἀνήδυντος, εὐγνωμονεῖν δεῖ τὸν ἄνδρα, καὶ καθάπερ ὁ Φωκίων, τοῦ Ἀντιπάτρου πρᾶξιν αὐτῷ προστάττοντος οὐ καλὴν οὐδὲ πρέπουσαν, εἶπεν
οὐ δύνασαί μοι καὶ φίλῳ χρῆσθαι καὶ κόλακι,
οὕτω λογίζεσθαι περὶ τῆς σώφρονος καὶ αὐστηρᾶς γυναικὸς
οὐ δύναμαι αὐτῇ καὶ ὡς γαμετῇ καὶ ὡς ἑταίρᾳ συνεῖναι §30ταῖς Αἰγυπτίαις ὑποδήμασι χρῆσθαι πάτριον οὐκ ἦν, ὅπως ἐν οἴκῳ διημερεύωσι.
But if, after all, a woman is by nature austere and unyielding and unpleasing, her husband ought to be understanding, and just as Phocion, when Antipater commanded him to do something that was not noble or fitting, said: "You cannot use me both as a friend and as a flatterer," so he should reason about his prudent and austere wife: "I cannot live with her both as a married wife and as a mistress." It was not the ancestral custom for Egyptian women to wear shoes, so that they would spend their days in the house.
τῶν δὲ πλείστων γυναικῶν ἂν ὑποδήματα διάχρυσα περιέλῃς καὶ ψέλλια καὶ περισκελίδας καὶ πορφύραν καὶ μαργαρίτας, ἔνδον μένουσιν.
But for most women, if you take away their gold-embroidered shoes, bracelets, anklets, purple garments, and pearls, they will stay indoors.
§31ἡ Θεανὼ παρέφηνε τὴν χεῖρα περιβαλλομένη τὸ ἱμάτιον.
Theano, in putting her cloak around her, showed her arm.
εἰπόντος δέ τινος
καλὸς ὁ πῆχυς
,
ἀλλʼ οὐ δημόσιος
ἔφη. δεῖ δὲ μὴ μόνον τὸν πῆχυν ἀλλὰ μηδὲ τὸν λόγον δημόσιον εἶναι τῆς σώφρονος, καὶ τὴν φωνὴν ὡς ἀπογύμνωσιν αἰδεῖσθαι καὶ φυλάσσεσθαι πρὸς τοὺς ἐκτός· ἐνορᾶται γὰρ αὐτῇ καὶ πάθος καὶ ἦθος καὶ διάθεσις λαλούσης.
When someone said, "A beautiful arm," she replied, "But not public." And not only the arm, but also the speech of a prudent woman ought not to be public, and she should be ashamed of her voice as if it were a baring of her body, and guard it against outsiders; for both her passion, character, and disposition are seen in her voice when she speaks.
§32τὴν Ἠλείων ὁ Φειδίας Ἀφροδίτην ἐποίησε χελώνην πατοῦσαν, οἰκουρίας σύμβολον ταῖς γυναιξὶ καὶ σιωπῆς.
Pheidias made the Aphrodite of the Eleans stepping on a tortoise, a symbol for women of staying at home and of silence.
δεῖ γὰρ ἢ πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα λαλεῖν ἢ διὰ τοῦ ἀνδρός, μὴ δυσχεραίνουσαν εἰ διʼ ἀλλοτρίας γλώσσης ὥσπερ αὐλητὴς φθέγγεται σεμνότερον.
For she ought either to speak to her husband or through her husband, not being annoyed if she speaks in a more dignified manner through another's tongue, just like a flute-player.