§19ἰδίους οὐ δεῖ φίλους κτᾶσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα, κοινοῖς δὲ χρῆσθαι τοῖς τοῦ ἀνδρός· οἱ δὲ θεοὶ φίλοι πρῶτοι καὶ μέγιστοι.
A wife ought not to acquire private friends, but to share in common those of her husband; and the gods are the first and greatest of friends.
διὸ καὶ θεοὺς οὓς ὁ ἀνὴρ νομίζει σέβεσθαι τῇ γαμετῇ καὶ γιγνώσκειν μόνους προσήκει, περιέργοις δὲ θρησκείαις καὶ ξέναις δεισιδαιμονίαις ἀποκεκλεῖσθαι τὴν αὔλειον, οὐδενὶ γὰρ θεῶν ἱερὰ κλεπτόμενα καὶ λανθάνοντα δρᾶται κεχαρισμένως ὑπὸ γυναικός.
Therefore, it is fitting for the married wife to worship and recognize only those gods whom her husband believes in, and the front door should be shut against superfluous worships and foreign superstitions; for by no woman are secret and stolen rites performed in a manner pleasing to any of the gods.
§20ὁ Πλάτων φησὶν εὐδαίμονα καὶ μακαρίαν εἶναι πόλιν, ἐν
τὸ ἐμὸν καὶ τὸ οὐκ ἐμὸν
ἥκιστα φθεγγομένων ἀκούουσι διὰ τὸ κοινοῖς ὡς ἔνι μάλιστα χρῆσθαι τοῖς ἀξίοις σπουδῆς τοὺς πολίτας, πολὺ δὲ μᾶλλον ἐκ γάμου δεῖ τὴν τοιαύτην φωνὴν ἀνῃρῆσθαι.
Plato says that a city is happy and blessed in which they least hear people uttering "mine" and "not mine," because the citizens share in common, as much as possible, those things worthy of serious care; but much more from a marriage ought such speech to be banished.
πλὴν ὥσπερ οἱ ἰατροὶ λέγουσι τὰς τῶν εὐωνύμων πληγὰς τὴν αἴσθησιν ἐν τοῖς δεξιοῖς ἀναφέρειν, οὕτω τὴν γυναῖκα τοῖς τοῦ ἀνδρὸς συμπαθεῖν καλὸν καὶ τὸν ἄνδρα τοῖς τῆς γυναικός, ἵνʼ ὥσπερ οἱ δεσμοὶ κατὰ τὴν ἐπάλλαξιν ἰσχὺν διʼ ἀλλήλων λαμβάνουσιν, οὕτως ἑκατέρου τὴν εὔνοιαν ἀντίστροφον ἀποδιδόντος ἡ κοινωνία σῴζηται διʼ ἀμφοῖν.
Yet, just as physicians say that blows to the left side transfer their sensation to the right side, so it is beautiful for a wife to sympathize with her husband’s concerns, and the husband with the wife’s, so that, just as knots receive strength from one another by being interlaced, so, when each returns a reciprocal goodwill, their partnership may be preserved through both.
καὶ γὰρ ἡ φύσις μίγνυσι διὰ τῶν σωμάτων τῶν ἡμᾶς, ἵνʼ ἐξ ἑκατέρων μέρος λαβοῦσα καὶ συγχέασα κοινὸν ἀμφοτέροις ἀποδῷ τὸ γεννώμενον, ὥστε μηδέτερον διορίσαι μηδὲ διακρῖναι τὸ ἴδιον ἢ τὸ ἀλλότριον.
For nature also mixes us through our bodies, so that, by taking a part from each and blending them, she may return what is generated as common to both, so that neither can define or distinguish what is his own or another's.
τοιαύτη τοίνυν καὶ χρημάτων κοινωνία προσήκει μάλιστα τοῖς γαμοῦσιν εἰς μίαν οὐσίαν πάντα καταχεαμένοις καὶ ἀναμίξασι μὴ τὸ μέρος ἴδιον καὶ τὸ μέρος ἀλλότριον ἀλλὰ πᾶν ἴδιον ἡγεῖσθαι καὶ μηδὲν ἀλλότριον.
In this way, then, a partnership of property especially belongs to those who marry, who should pour everything into one estate and mix it together, not to consider one part as one's own and another part as another's, but everything as one's own and nothing as another's.
ὥσπερ γὰρ τὸ κρᾶμα καίτοι ὕδατος μετέχον πλείονος οἶνον καλοῦμεν, οὕτω τὴν οὐσίαν δεῖ καὶ τὸν οἶκον τοῦ ἀνδρὸς λέγεσθαι, κἂν ἡ γυνὴ πλείονα συμβάλληται.
For just as we call a mixture wine although it contains more water, so the estate and the house ought to be called the husband's, even if the wife contributes more.
§21φιλόπλουτος ἡ Ἑλένη, φιλήδονος ὁ Πάρις· φρόνιμος ὁ Ὀδυσσεύς, σώφρων ἡ Πηνελόπη.
Helen loved wealth, Paris loved pleasure; Odysseus was wise, Penelope was prudent.
διὰ τοῦτο μακάριος γάμος ὁ τούτων καὶ ζηλωτός, ὁ δʼ ἐκείνων Ἰλιάδα κακῶν Ἕλλησι καὶ βαρβάροις ἐποίησεν.
For this reason, the marriage of the latter was happy and enviable, but that of the former produced an Iliad of woes for Greeks and barbarians alike.
§22ὁ Ῥωμαῖος ὑπὸ τῶν φίλων νουθετούμενος ὅτι σώφρονα γυναῖκα καὶ πλουσίαν καὶ ὡραίαν ἀπεπέμψατο, τὸν κάλτιον αὐτοῖς προτείνας; καὶ γὰρ οὗτος
ἔφη
καλὸς ἰδεῖν καὶ καινός, ἀλλʼ οὐδεὶς οἶδεν ὅπου με θλίβει. δεῖ τοίνυν μὴ προικὶ μηδὲ γένει μηδὲ κάλλει τὴν γυναῖκα πιστεύειν, ἀλλʼ ἐν οἷς ἅπτεται μάλιστα τοῦ ἀνδρός, ὁμιλίᾳ τε καὶ ἤθει καὶ συμπεριφορᾷ, ταῦτα μὴ σκληρὰ μηδʼ ἀνιῶντα καθʼ ἡμέραν ἀλλʼ εὐάρμοστα καὶ ἄλυπα καὶ προσφιλῆ παρέχειν.
The Roman who was admonished by his friends because he had divorced a prudent, wealthy, and beautiful wife, held out his shoe to them and said: "For indeed, this too is beautiful to look at and new, but no one knows where it pinches me." Therefore, a wife ought not to trust in her dowry, nor her birth, nor her beauty, but in those things where she touches her husband most of all—her daily conversation, character, and conduct—to show these not harsh or annoying day by day, but well-fitted, painless, and affectionate.
ὥσπερ γὰρ οἱ ἰατροὶ τοὺς ἐξ αἰτιῶν ἀδήλων καὶ κατὰ μικρὸν συλλεγομένων γεννωμένους πυρετοὺς μᾶλλον δεδοίκασιν ἢ τοὺς ἐμφανεῖς καὶ μεγάλας προφάσεις ἔχοντας, οὕτω τὰ λανθάνοντα τοὺς πολλοὺς μικρὰ καὶ συνεχῆ καὶ καθημερινὰ προσκρούματα γυναικὸς καὶ ἀνδρὸς μᾶλλον διίστησι καὶ λυμαίνεται τὴν συμβίωσιν.
For just as physicians fear fevers that arise from obscure causes and gather little by little more than those that have obvious and great pretexts, so the small, continuous, and daily frictions between husband and wife, though hidden from most people, more surely estrange them and ruin their life together.
§23ὁ βασιλεὺς Φίλιππος ἤρα Θεσσαλῆς γυναικὸς αἰτίαν ἐχούσης καταφαρμακεύειν αὐτόν.
King Philip loved a Thessalian woman who was accused of using drugs on him.
ἐσπούδασεν οὖν ἡ Ὀλυμπιὰς λαβεῖν τὴν ἄνθρωπον ὑποχείριον.
Olympias, therefore, was eager to get the woman into her power.
ὡς δʼ εἰς ὄψιν ἐλθοῦσα τὸ τʼ εἶδος εὐπρεπὴς ἐφάνη καὶ διελέχθη πρὸς αὐτὴν οὐκ ἀγεννῶς οὐδʼ ἀσυνέτως,
χαιρέτωσαν
εἶπεν ἡ Ὀλυμπιάς
αἱ διαβολαί σὺ γὰρ ἐν σεαυτῇ τὰ φάρμακα ἔχεις.
But when the woman came into her presence and appeared beautiful in form, and spoke to her in a noble and intelligent manner, Olympias said: "Farewell to slander!
ἄμαχον οὖν τι γίγνεται πρᾶγμα γαμετὴ γυνὴ καὶ νόμιμος, ἂν ἐν αὑτῇ πάντα θεμένη, καὶ προῖκα καὶ γένος καὶ φάρμακα καὶ τὸν κεστὸν αὐτόν, ἤθει καὶ ἀρετῇ κατεργάσηται τὴν εὔνοιαν.
For you have the drugs in yourself." Therefore, a married and lawful wife becomes an irresistible thing if, placing everything in herself—her dowry, her birth, her drugs, and even the magic girdle itself—she wins her husband's goodwill through character and virtue.
§24πάλιν ἡ Ὀλυμπιάς, αὐλικοῦ τινος νεανίσκου γήμαντος εὐπρεπῆ γυναῖκα κακῶς ἀκούουσαν,
οὗτος
εἶπεν
οὐκ ἔχει λογισμόν· οὐ γὰρ ἂν τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς ἔγημε
δεῖ δὲ μὴ τοῖς ὄμμασι γαμεῖν δὲ τοῖς δακτύλοις, ὥσπερ ἔνιοι ψηφίσαντες πόσα φέρουσαν λαμβάνουσιν, οὐ κρίναντες πῶς συμβιωσομένην.
Again, Olympias, when a certain young courtier had married a beautiful woman who had a bad reputation, said: "This man has no sense; for otherwise, he would not have married with his eyes." But one should not marry with the eyes, nor yet with the fingers, as some do who calculate how much dowry she brings and take her, without judging how she will live with them.