§6καίτοι κἂν πάντες ἅμα τῶν αὐτῶν οἱ φίλοι δέωνται, χαλεπὸν ἐξαρκέσαι πᾶσι βουλευομένοις ἢ πολιτευομένοις ἢ φιλοτιμουμένοις ἢ ὑποδεχομένοις.
And yet, even if all friends should require the same things at the same time, it is difficult to satisfy all of them as they take counsel, engage in public life, compete for honors, or host guests.
ἂν δʼ ἑνὶ καιρῷ διαφόροις πράγμασι καὶ πάθεσι προστυγχάνοντες ὁμοῦ παρακαλῶσιν ὁ μὲν πλέων συναποδημεῖν, ὁ δὲ κρινόμενος συνδικεῖν, ὁ δὲ κρίνων συνδικάζειν, ὁ δὲ πιπράσκων ἢ ἀγοράζων συνδιοικεῖν, ὁ δὲ γαμῶν συνθύειν, ὁ δὲ θάπτων συμπενθεῖν,
"
πόλις δʼ ὁμοῦ μὲν θυμιαμάτων γέμῃ,
ὁμοῦ δὲ παιάνων τε καὶ στεναγμάτων
"
ἡ πολυφιλία, πᾶσι μὲν ἀμήχανον παρεῖναι, μηδενὶ δʼ ἄτοπον, ἑνὶ δʼ ὑπουργοῦντα προσκρούειν πολλοῖς ἀνιαρὸν
"
οὐδεὶς γὰρ ἀγαπῶν αὐτὸς ἀμελεῖθʼ ἡδέως
"
Καίτοι τὰς ἀμελείας καὶ ῥᾳθυμίας τῶν φίλων πραότερον φέρουσι, καὶ τὰς τοιαύτας ἀπολογίας ἀμηνίτως δέχονται παρʼ αὐτῶν
ἐξελαθόμην
ἠγνόησα
ὁ δὲ λέγων
οὐ παρέστην σοι δίκην ἔχοντι, παριστάμην γὰρ ἑτέρῳ φίλῳ,
καὶ
πυρέττοντά σʼ οὐκ εἶδον, τῷ δεῖνι γὰρ φίλους ἑστιῶντι συνησχολούμην
αἰτίαν τῆς ἀμελείας τὴν ἑτέρων ἐπιμέλειαν ποιούμενος οὐ λύει τὴν μέμψιν, ἀλλὰ προσεπιβάλλει ζηλοτυπίαν.
But if, encountering different business and experiences at one and the same time, they should call upon us together, and one who is sailing requests us to travel with him, another on trial to assist him, another acting as a judge to sit on the bench with him, another selling or buying to manage the business with him, another marrying to offer sacrifice with him, another burying to mourn with him— "and the city is filled at once with incense-smoke, and at once with paeans and groans"— under having many friends, it is impossible to be present for all, but to be present for none is absurd, and to help one while offending many is painful: "for no one who loves is glad to be neglected himself." And yet people bear the neglects and carelessness of friends more gently, and accept such excuses from them without anger: "I forgot," "I did not know." But the one who says, "I did not stand by you when you were on trial, for I was standing by another friend," and "I did not see you when you had a fever, for I was busy helping so-and-so host his friends," making his care for others the cause of his neglect, does not remove the blame, but adds jealousy to it.
ἀλλʼ οἱ πολλοὶ τὰς πολυφιλίας ἃ δύνανται παρέχειν μόνον ὡς ἔοικε σκοποῦσιν, ἃ δʼ ἀνταπαιτοῦσι παρορῶσι, καὶ οὐ μνημονεύουσιν ὅτι δεῖ τὸν πολλοῖς εἰς ἃ δεῖται χρώμενον πολλοῖς δεομένοις ἀνθυπουργεῖν.
But the many, as it seems, look only at what having many friends can provide, but overlook what it demands in return, and do not remember that the one who uses many for his own needs must in turn serve many who have needs.
ὥσπερ οὖν ὁ Βριάρεως ἑκατὸν χερσὶν εἰς πεντήκοντα φορῶν γαστέρας οὐδὲν ἡμῶν πλέον εἶχε τῶν ἀπὸ δυεῖν χεροῖν μίαν κοιλίαν διοικούντων, οὕτως ἐν τοῖς φίλοις χρήσιμον καὶ τὸ λειτουργεῖν πολλοῖς ἔνεστι καὶ τὸ συναγωνιᾶν καὶ τὸ συνασχολεῖσθαι καὶ συγκάμνειν.
Just as, therefore, Briareus, carrying food with a hundred hands to fifty bellies, had no advantage over us who manage one stomach with two hands, so among friends, the opportunity to serve many involves also sharing their anxiety, sharing their business, and sharing their toil.
οὐ γὰρ Εὐριπίδῃ πειστέον λέγοντι
"
χρῆν γὰρ μετρίας εἰς ἀλλήλους
φιλίας θνητοὺς ἀνακίρνασθαι
καὶ μὴ πρὸς ἄκρον μυελὸν ψυχῆς,
εὔλυτα δʼ εἶναι στέργηθρα φρενῶν,
ἀπὸ τʼ ὤσασθαι καὶ ξυντεῖναι,
"
καθάπερ πόδα νεὼς ἐνδιδόντι καὶ προσάγοντι ταῖς χρείαις τὴν φιλίαν.
For we must not believe Euripides when he says: "For mortals ought to mix moderate friendships with one another, and not to the very marrow of the soul, and the affections of the mind should be easily loosed, both to push away and to tighten," as if treating friendship like a ship's sheet, yielding and drawing in according to needs.
ἀλλὰ τοῦτο μέν, ὦ Εὐριπίδη, μεταθῶμεν ἐπὶ τὰς ἔχθρας, καὶ κελεύωμεν
μετρίας
ποιεῖσθαι τὰς διαφορὰς καὶ
μὴ πρὸς ἄκρον μυελὸν ψυχῆς, εὔλυτα δʼ εἶναι
μίση καὶ ὀργὰς καὶ μεμψιμοιρίας καὶ ὑπονοίας· ἐκεῖνο δὲ μᾶλλον ἡμῖν παραίνει τὸ Πυθαγορικὸν
μὴ πολλοῖς ἐμβάλλειν δεξιὰν
τουτέστι μὴ πολλοὺς ποιεῖσθαι φίλους μηδὲ πολύκοινον μηδὲ πάνδημον ἀσπάζεσθαι φιλίαν καὶ πρὸς ἐναντίην ἢ μετὰ πολλῶν παθῶν εἰσιοῦσαν, ὧν τὸ μὲν συναγωνιᾶν καὶ συνάχθεσθαι καὶ συμπονεῖν καὶ συγκινδυνεύειν πάνυ δύσοιστον τοῖς ἐλευθέροις καὶ γενναίοις ἐστί·
But let us, O Euripides, transfer this to enmities, and let us bid that differences be made "moderate," and "not to the very marrow of the soul," and that hatreds, angers, complaints, and suspicions be "easily loosed." But that Pythagorean precept rather advises us: "not to shake hands with many," that is, not to make many friends, nor to embrace a friendship that is common to many and public, which enters either against opposition or with many passions, of which sharing in anxiety, sharing in grief, sharing in toil, and sharing in danger is very hard to bear for free and noble men.
τὸ δὲ τοῦ σοφοῦ Χίλωνος ἀληθές, ὃς πρὸς τὸν εἰπόντα μηδένα ἔχειν ἐχθρὸν
ἔοικας
ἔφη
σὺ μηδὲ φίλον ἔχειν. αἱ γὰρ ἔχθραι ταῖς φιλίαις εὐθὺς ἐπακολουθοῦσι καὶ συμπλέκονται, ἐπείπερ
And the saying of the wise Chilon is true, who said to the one who declared he had no enemy: "You seem," said he, "not even to have a friend." For enmities immediately follow upon friendships and are entwined with them, since...