§7οὐκ ἔστι φίλον μὴ συναδικεῖσθαι μηδὲ συναδοξεῖν μηδὲ συναπεχθάνεσθαι· οἱ γὰρ ἐχθροὶ τὸν φίλον εὐθὺς ὑφορῶνταί τε καὶ μισοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ φίλοι πολλάκις φθονοῦσί τε καὶ ζηλοτυποῦσι καὶ περισπῶσιν.
It is not possible to be a friend without sharing in injustice, sharing in disrepute, and sharing in hatred; for enemies immediately suspect and hate the friend, while friends often envy, feel jealous, and distract them.
ὥσπερ οὖν ὁ τῷ Τιμησίᾳ περὶ τῆς ἀποικίας δοθεὶς χρησμὸς προηγόρευσε
"
σμῆνα μελισσάων τάχα τοι καὶ σφῆκες; ἔσονται
"
, οὕτως οἱ φίλων ζητοῦντες ἑσμὸν ἔλαθον ἐχθρῶν σφηκιαῖς περιπεσόντες.
Just as, therefore, the oracle given to Timesias regarding the colony foretold, "A swarm of bees, and soon there will be wasps too for you," so those who seek a swarm of friends have unawares fallen into wasps' nests of enemies.
καὶ οὐκ ἴσον ἄγει σταθμὸν ἐχθροῦ μνησικακία καὶ φίλου χάρις.
And an enemy's resentment and a friend's gratitude do not carry equal weight.
ὅρα δὲ τοὺς Φιλώτου καὶ Παρμενίωνος φίλους καὶ οἰκείους ἃ διέθηκεν Ἀλέξανδρος, ἃ τοὺς Δίωνος Διονύσιος τοὺς Πλαύτου Νέρων καὶ τοὺς Σηιανοῦ Τιβέριος στρεβλοῦντες καὶ ἀποκτιννύοντες.
Look at what Alexander did to the friends and relatives of Philotas and Parmenion, what Dionysius did to those of Dion, Nero to those of Plautus, and Tiberius to those of Sejanus, torturing and killing them.
ὡς γὰρ τὸν Κρέοντα τῆς θυγατρὸς οὐδὲν ὁ χρυσὸς οὐδʼ ὁ πέπλος ὠφέλει, τὸ δὲ πῦρ ἀναφθὲν αἰφνιδίως προσδραμόντα καὶ περιπτύξαντα κατέκαυσε καὶ συναπώλεσεν, οὕτως ἔνιοι τῶν φίλων οὐδὲν ἀπολαύσαντες εὐτυχούντων συναπόλλυνται δυστυχοῦσι.
For just as Creon was not aided at all by the gold or the robe of his daughter, but the fire, suddenly kindling, burned him when he ran to her and embraced her, and destroyed him along with her, so some friends, though enjoying no benefit when their friends are prosperous, perish with them when they are unfortunate.
καὶ τοῦτο μάλιστα πάσχουσιν οἱ φιλόσοφοι καὶ χαρίεντες, ὡς Θησεὺς τῷ Πειρίθῳ κολαζομένῳ καὶ δεδεμένῳ
"
αἰδοῦς ἀχαλκεύτοις συνέζευκται πέδαις
"
, ἐν δὲ τῷ λοιμῷ φησιν ὁ Θουκυδίδης τοὺς ἀρετῆς μάλιστα μεταποιουμένους συναπόλλυσθαι τοῖς φίλοις νοσοῦσιν ἠφείδουν γὰρ σφῶν αὐτῶν ἰόντες παρὰ τοὺς ἐπιτηδείους.
And this is suffered especially by philosophers and cultivated men, as Theseus was with Pirithous when the latter was punished and bound: "He has been yoked by shame's unchained fetters," and in the plague Thucydides says that those who laid claim to virtue most perished with their sick friends; for they were unsparing of themselves as they went to their companions.
§8ὅθεν οὕτω τῆς ἀρετῆς ἀφειδεῖν οὐ προσῆκον ἄλλοτʼ ἄλλοις συνδέοντας αὐτὴν καὶ συμπλέκοντας, ἀλλὰ τοῖς ἀξίοις τὴν αὐτῆς κοινωνίαν φυλάττειν, τουτέστι τοῖς ὁμοίως φιλεῖν καὶ κοινωνεῖν δυναμένοις.
Therefore, it is not fitting to be so unsparing of virtue, binding and entangling it with different people at different times, but to guard its communion for those who are worthy, that is, for those who are capable of loving and sharing in like manner.
καὶ γὰρ δὴ τοῦτο πάντων μέγιστόν ἐστιν ἐναντίωμα πρὸς τὴν πολυφιλίαν, ὅτι τῇ φιλίᾳ γένεσις διʼ ὁμοιότητός ἐστιν.
For indeed, this is the greatest obstacle of all against having many friends, that friendship has its origin through similarity.
ὅπου γὰρ καὶ τὰ ἄψυχα τὰς μίξεις πρὸς τὰ ἀνόμοια ποιεῖται μετὰ βίας ἀναγκαζόμενα καὶ ὀκλάζει καὶ ἀγανακτεῖ φεύγοντα ἀπʼ ἀλλήλων, τοῖς δὲ συγγενέσι καὶ οἰκείοις ὁμοπαθεῖ κεραννύμενα καὶ προσίεται τὴν κοινωνίαν λείως καὶ μετʼ εὐμενείας, πῶς οἷόν τε φιλίαν ἤθεσι διαφόροις, ἐγγενέσθαι καὶ πάθεσιν ἀνομοίοις καὶ βίοις ἑτέρας προαιρέσεις ἔχουσιν;
For where even inanimate objects make their mixtures with unlike things only when forced by violence, and recoil and resent, fleeing from one another, but blend with things of the same kind and family in shared experience, and admit the association smoothly and with goodwill, how is it possible for friendship to arise among different characters, unlike passions, and lives having other choices?
ἡ μὲν γὰρ περὶ ψαλμοὺς καὶ φόρμιγγας ἁρμονία διʼ ἀντιφώνων ἔχει τὸ σύμφωνον, ὀξύτησι καὶ βαρύτησιν ἁμωσγέπως ὁμοιότητος ἐγγιγνομένης· τῆς δὲ φιλικῆς συμφωνίας ταύτης καὶ ἁρμονίας οὐδὲν ἀνόμοιον οὐδʼ ἀνώμαλον οὐδʼ ἄνισον εἶναι δεῖ μέρος, ἀλλʼ ἐξ ἁπάντων ὁμοίως ἐχόντων ὁμολογεῖν καὶ ὁμοβουλεῖν καὶ ὁμοδοξεῖν καὶ συνομοπαθεῖν, ὥσπερ μιᾶς ψυχῆς ἐν πλείοσι διῃρημένης σώμασι.
For harmony in songs and lyres has its concord through octaves, a similarity being somehow produced in high and low pitches; but of this friendly concord and harmony, no part must be unlike or irregular or unequal, but from all parts being in like condition, there must be agreement, shared counsel, shared opinion, and shared feeling, as if one soul were divided among many bodies.
§9τίς οὖν ἐστιν οὕτως ἐπίπονος καὶ μετάβολος καὶ παντοδαπὸς ἄνθρωπος, ὥστε πολλοῖς ἑαυτὸν ἐξομοιοῦν καὶ προσαρμόττειν καὶ μὴ καταγελᾶν τοῦ Θεόγνιδος παραινοῦντος
"
πουλύποδος νόον ἴσχε πολυχρόου, ὃς ποτὶ πέτρῃ,
τῇ περ ὁμιλήσῃ, τοῖος ἰδεῖν ἐφάνη; "
καίτοι τοῦ πολύποδος αἱ μεταβολαὶ βάθος οὐκ ἔχουσιν, ἀλλὰ περὶ αὐτὴν γίγνονται τὴν ἐπιφάνειαν, στυφότητι καὶ μανότητι τὰς ἀπορροὰς τῶν πλησιαζόντων ἀναλαμβάνουσαν· αἱ δὲ φιλίαι τὰ ἤθη ζητοῦσι συνεξομοιοῦν καὶ τὰ πάθη καὶ τοὺς λόγους καὶ τὰ ἐπιτηδεύματα καὶ τὰς διαθέσεις.
Who, then, is so laborious, changeable, and multiform a man as to assimilate and adapt himself to many, and not to mock Theognis when he advises: "Have the mind of the many-colored octopus, which on the rock it consorts with, appears of such a kind to look at?" And yet the changes of the octopus have no depth, but occur around the very surface, which by tightness and looseness takes up the effluences of those nearby; but friendships seek to assimilate the characters, passions, words, pursuits, and dispositions.
Πρωτέως τινὸς οὐκ εὐτυχοῦς οὐδὲ πάνυ χρηστοῦ τὸ ἔργον, ἀλλʼ ὑπὸ γοητείας ἑαυτὸν εἰς ἕτερον εἶδος ἐξ ἑτέρου μεταλλάττοντος ἐν ταὐτῷ πολλάκις, φιλολόγοις συναναγιγνώσκοντος καὶ παλαισταῖς συγκονιομένου καὶ φιλοθήροις συγκυνηγετοῦντος καὶ φιλοπόταις συμμεθυσκομένου καὶ πολιτικοῖς συναρχαιρεσιάζοντος, ἰδίαν ἤθους ἑστίαν οὐκ ἔχοντος,· .
It is the work of a Proteus, one who is not fortunate nor entirely good, but by magic changes himself from one form to another, often in the same place, reading with lovers of learning, dusting himself with wrestlers, hunting with lovers of the chase, getting drunk with lovers of drink, and canvassing with politicians, having no hearth of character of his own.
ὡς δὲ τὴν ἀσχημάτιστον οἱ φυσικοὶ καὶ ἀχρώματον οὐσίαν καὶ ὕλην λέγουσιν ὑποκειμένην καὶ τρεπομένην ὑφʼ αὑτῆς νῦν μὲν φλέγεσθαι νῦν δʼ ἐξυγραίνεσθαι, τοτὲ δʼ ἐξαεροῦσθαι πήγνυσθαι δʼ αὖθις, οὕτως ἄρα τῇ πολυφιλίᾳ ψυχὴν ὑποκεῖσθαι δεήσει πολυπαθῆ καὶ πολύτροπον καὶ ὑγρὰν καὶ ῥᾳδίαν μεταβάλλειν.
And as the physicists say that the shapeless and colorless substance and matter, lying underneath and being turned by itself, now burns, now liquefies, now turns to air, and again solidifies, so for having many friends, it will be necessary that a soul lie underneath that is full of passions, versatile, fluid, and easy to change.
ἀλλʼ ἡ φιλία στάσιμόν τι ζητεῖ καὶ βέβαιον ἦθος καὶ ἀμετάπτωτον ἐν μιᾷ χώρᾳ καὶ συνηθείᾳ· διὸ καὶ σπάνιον καὶ δυσεύρετόν ἐστι φίλος βέβαιος.
But friendship seeks a stable, firm, and unchangeable character in one place and familiarity; wherefore also a firm friend is rare and hard to find.