§5Tamen, inquis, ita a toga ad pallium? Quid enim, si a diademate et a sceptro? An aliter mutavit Anacharsis, cum regno Scythiae philosophiam praevertit? Nulla in melius transgressi sint signa, est habitus iste quod faciat.
"Yet," you say, "is it thus from the toga to the pallium?" What indeed, if it were from the diadem and the scepter? Did Anacharsis change in any other way, when he preferred philosophy to the kingdom of Scythia? Even if there be no signs of a transition to the better, this attire has its own work to do.
Prius etiam ad simplicem captatelam eius: nullo taedio constat.
First, even as to the simple ease of taking it up: it costs no trouble.
Adeo nec artificem necesse est qui pridie rugas ab exordio formet et inde deducat nitidius, totumque contracti umbonis figmentum custodibus forcipibus assignet, dehinc diluculo tunica prius cingulo correpta, quam praestabat moderatiorem texuisse, recognito rursus umbone et si quid exorbitavit reformato, partem quidem de laevo promittat, ambitum vero eius ex quo sinus nascitur iam deficientibus tabulis retrahat a scapulis et exclusa dextera in laevam adhuc congerat cum alio pari tabul(??)to in terga devoto, atque ita hominem sarcina vestiat.
Indeed, there is no need for an artisan who, on the previous day, should form the folds from the beginning and lead them down more elegantly, and assign the whole shape of the contracted boss to the keeping of pins; and then, at dawn, having first put on the tunic bound by a girdle—which it would have been better to have woven of a more moderate length—and having checked the boss again and reshaped anything that went astray, should let down a part of it from the left shoulder, and draw back from the shoulders the outer edge from which the sinus is born, as the folds are now failing, and, excluding the right arm, heap it still upon the left with another equal fold devoted to the back, and thus clothe the man with a burden.
Conscientiam denique tuam perrogabo quid te prius in toga sentias, indutum, anne onustum? habene vestem, an haiulare? Si negabis, domum consequar, videbo quid statim a limine properes.
Finally, I will ask your conscience what you feel yourself to be first in a toga: dressed, or laden? Do you possess a garment, or carry a load? If you deny it, I will follow you home; I shall see what you hasten to do immediately from the threshold.
Nullius profecto alterius indumenti expositio quam togae gratulatur.
Surely the taking off of no other garment is so congratulated as that of the toga.
Calceos nihil dicimus, proprium togae tormentum, immundissimam pedum tutelam, verum et falsam.
We say nothing of shoes, that special torment of the toga, the dirtiest protection of the feet, both true and false.
Quem enim non expediat in algore et ardore rigere nudipedem quam in calceo vincipedem? Magnum incessui munimentum sutrinae Venetiae prospexere perones effeminatos.
For whom would it not suit in cold and heat to stiffen barefoot rather than to be bound-foot in a shoe? The shoemakers of Venice provided effeminate men with those great protections for walking, those boots.
At enim pallio nihil expeditius, etiam si duplex, quod Cratetis.
But indeed, nothing is more convenient than the pallium, even if it is double, like that of Crates.
Mera nusquam vestiendo imponitur; quippe tota molitio eius operire est solutim.
No unnatural constraint is ever imposed in wearing it; for its whole mechanism is to cover loosely.
Id ex uno circumiectu licet, equidem nusquam inhumano; ita omnia hominis simul contegit.
This is possible from a single wrap, which is never inhuman; thus it covers all parts of a man at once.
Humerum velans exponit vel includit, ceteroquin humerum adhaeret, nihil circumfulcit, nihil circumstringit, nihil de tabularum fide laborat, facile sese regit, facile reficit; etiam cum exponitur, nulli cruci in crastinum demandatur.
Veiling the shoulder, it exposes or encloses it; otherwise it clings to the shoulder, supports nothing around, binds nothing around, cares nothing for the accuracy of folds, easily rules itself, easily readjusts itself; even when it is taken off, it is committed to no torment for the morrow.
Si quid interulae subter est, vacat zonae tormentum; si quid calceatus inducitur, mundissimum opus est, aut pedes nudi magis, certe viriles magis quam in calceis.
If there is an undergarment beneath, the torment of the girdle is absent; if any footwear is put on, it is a most clean work, or rather the feet are bare, certainly more manly than in shoes.
Haec pro pallio interim, quantum nomine comitiasti.
These things for the pallium meanwhile, as much as you have disputed in its name.
Iam vere et de negotio provocat. Ego, inquit, nihil fore, nihil campo.
Now indeed it challenges also from the business of life.
nihil curiae debeo, nihil officio advigilo, nulla rostra praeoccupo, nulla praetoria observo, canales non odoro, cancellos non adoro, subsellia non contundo, iura non conturbo, causas non elatro, non iudico, non milito, non regno, secessi de populo.
"I," it says, "owe nothing to the forum, nothing to the campus, nothing to the senate-house; I watch for no duty, I preoccupy no rostra, I observe no praetoria, I do not smell the canals, I do not worship the lattices, I do not wear out the benches, I do not disturb the laws, I do not bark out lawsuits, I do not judge, I do not serve in the army, I do not rule; I have withdrawn from the people.
In me unicum negotium mihi est; nisi aliud non curo quam ne curem.
In myself, my sole business is with myself; I have no other care than not to care.
Vita meliore magis in secessu fruare quam in promptu. Sed ignavam infamabis.
Enjoy a better life in retirement rather than in public view." But you will brand it as lazy.
Scilicet patriae et imperio reique vivendum est. Erat olim ista sententia.
"To be sure, one must live for country, empire, and state." That was once an opinion.
Nemo alii nascitur moriturus sibi.
No one is born for another, destined to die for himself.
Certe cum ad Epicuros et Zenonas ventum est, sapientes vocas totum quietis magisterium, qui eam summae atque unicae voluptatis nomine consecravere.
Certainly when we come to the Epicuruses and Zenons, you call those who consecrated retirement in the name of the highest and sole pleasure wise men, the whole mastership of quiet.
Tamen propemodum mihi quoque licebit in publicum prodesse.
Yet almost will it be permitted to me also to be of use to the public.
Soleo de qualibet margine vel ara medicinas moribus dicere, quae felicius publicis rebus et civitatibus et imperiis bonas valetudines. conferent quam tuse operae.
I am accustomed from any curb or altar to preach medicines for morals, which will more happily confer good health upon public affairs, states, and empires than your labors.
Quippe si pergam ad acuta tecum, plus togae laesere rempublicam quam loricae.
Indeed, if I should go to sharp points with you, the togas have harmed the republic more than the breastplates.
Atquin nullis vitiis addor, nullis veternis parco, nulli impetigini.
Moreover, I yield to no vices, I spare no chronic diseases, I spare no itch.
Adigo cauterem ambitioni, qua M. Tullius quingentis milibus numum orbem citri emit, qua bis tantum Asinius Gallus pro mensa eiusdem Mauritaniae numeral.
I apply the cautery to ambition, by which M. Tullius bought a citrus-wood table for five hundred thousand sesterces, and Asinius Gallus paid twice as much for a table from the same Mauritania.
Hem, quantis facultatibus aestimavere ligneas maculas! item qua lances centenarii ponderis Sulla molitur! Vereor sane, ne parva sit ista trutina, cum Drusillanus, equidem servus Claudii, quingenariam promulsidem aedificat, suprascriptis fortassean mensis neccessariam, cui, si officina exstructa est, debuit et triclinium.
Ah, at what great fortunes they valued wooden spots! Likewise by which Sulla fabricated dishes of a hundred pounds' weight! I fear indeed lest that balance be small, when Drusillanus, a slave of Claudius indeed, constructs a five-hundred-pound tray, necessary perhaps for the tables mentioned above; for whom, if a workshop was built, a dining-room also was owed.
Inmergo aeque scalpellum acerbitati ei qua Vedius Pollio servos muraenis invadendos obiectabat.
I plunge equally the scalpel into that cruelty with which Vedius Pollio used to expose slaves to be devoured by lampreys.
Nova scilicet saevitia delectato terrenae bestiae et edentulae et exungues et excornes; de piscibus placuit feras cogere, utique statim coquendis, ut in visceribus earum aliquid de servorum suorum corporibus et ipse gustaret.
Pleased, forsooth, with a novel cruelty of a terrestrial beast, toothless, clawless, and hornless; he chose to make wild beasts out of fish, at all events to be cooked immediately, so that he himself might taste something of his slaves' bodies in their entrails.
Praecidam gulam, qua Hortensius orator primus pavum cibi causa potuit occidere, qua Aufidius Lurco primus sagina corpora vitiavit et coactis alimentis in adulterinum provexit saporem, qua Asinius Celer mulli unius obsonium sex sestertiis detulit, qua Aesopus histrio ex avibus eiusdem pretiositatis, ut canoris et loquacibus quibusque, centum milium patinam confiscavit, qua filius eius post tale pulpamentum potuit aliquid sumptuosius esurire.
I will cut away the gluttony by which the orator Hortensius was first able to kill a peacock for food, by which Aufidius Lurco first ruined bodies with stuffing and, by forced feeding, promoted them to a bastard flavor, by which Asinius Celer brought a single mullet to the table for six thousand sesterces, by which the actor Aesopus confiscated a dish of a hundred thousand sesterces made of birds of the same preciousness, such as were singing and talking, by which his son, after such a delicacy, was able to hunger for something more sumptuous.
Margarita namque vel ipso nomine pretiosa dehausit, credo ne mendicius patre coenasset.
For he swallowed pearls, precious even by their very name, I suppose lest he should have supped more beggarly than his father.
Taceo Nerones et Apicios et Rufos.
I am silent about the Neros, the Apiciuses, and the Rufuses.
Dabo catharticum impuritati Scauri et aleae Curii et vinolentiae Antonii, Et memento istos interim ex multis togatos fuisse; quales apud pallium haud facile.
I will give a purgative to the impurity of Scaurus, the dice of Curius, and the drunkenness of Antony. And remember that these meanwhile, out of many, were toga-wearers; such as you would not easily find under the pallium.
Has purulentias civitatis quis eliciet et exsuppurabit, ni sermo palliatus?
Who will draw out and lance these abscesses of the state, if not the discourse of the pallium?