§6.430marmoribus rivi properant, aurata Falernum §6.431pelvis olet; nam sic tamquam alta in dolia longus §6.432deciderit serpens, bibit et vomit, ergo maritus
Streams of wine run on the marble floors, the gilded basin smells of Falernian; for just as if a long snake had fallen into a deep jar, she drinks and vomits.
§6.433nauseat atque oculis bilem substringit opertis.
Therefore her husband is sickened and suppresses his bile with closed eyes.
§6.434Illa tamen gravior, quae cum discumbere coepit, §6.435laudat Vergilium, periturae ignoscit Elissae, §6.436committit vates et comparat, inde Maronem §6.437atque alia parte in trutina suspendit Homerum.
Yet she is more oppressive who, when she has begun to recline at table, praises Virgil, forgives Elissa who is about to die, sets poets against each other and compares them, on one hand weighing Maro and on the other part of the scales hanging Homer.
§6.438cedunt grammatici, vincuntur rhetores, omnis §6.439turba tacet, nec causidicus nec praeco loquetur, §6.440altera nec mulier; verborum tanta cadit vis, §6.441tot pariter pelves ac tintinnabula dicas
The grammarians yield, the rhetoricians are vanquished, the whole crowd is silent; neither barrister nor town-crier will speak, nor any other woman; so great a torrent of words falls, you would say so many basins and bells were being struck at once.
Let no one now fatigue trumpets, no one fatigue bronze: she alone will be able to aid the struggling Moon.
§6.444inponit finem sapiens et rebus honestis; §6.445nam quae docta nimis cupit et facunda videri, §6.446crure tenus medio tunicas succingere debet, §6.447caedere Silvano porcum, quadrante lavari.
The wise man imposes a limit even on noble things; for she who wishes to seem too learned and eloquent ought to gird up her tunics to mid-leg, sacrifice a pig to Silvanus, and bathe for a quadrant.
§6.448non habeat matrona, tibi quae iuncta recumbit, §6.449dicendi genus aut curvum sermone rotato §6.450torqueat enthymema, nec historias sciat omnes, §6.451sed quaedam ex libris et non intellegat, odi
Let not the matron who reclines joined to you possess a style of speaking, nor let her twist with rounded speech a curved enthymeme, nor let her know all histories, but let there be some things in books that she does not understand.
§6.452hanc ego quae repetit volvitque Palaemonis artem §6.453servata semper lege et ratione loquendi §6.454ignotosque mihi tenet antiquaria versus §6.455nec curanda viris opicae castigat amicae §6.456verba; soloecismum liceat fecisse marito.
I hate her who repeats and turns over Palaemon's treatise, always observing the law and system of speech, and, as an antiquarian, remembers verses unknown to me, and corrects the words of her uncultured female friend which are of no concern to men; let it be permitted to a husband to make a solecism.
§6.457Nil non permittit mulier sibi, turpe putat nil, §6.458cum virides gemmas collo circumdedit et cum §6.459auribus extentis magnos commisit elenchos; §6.460intolerabilis nihil est quam femina dives.
There is nothing a woman does not permit herself, she thinks nothing shameful, when she has put green gems around her neck and when she has committed great pearl pendants to her stretched ears; nothing is more intolerable than a wealthy woman.
§6.461interea foeda aspectu ridendaque multo §6.462pane tumet facies aut pinguia Poppaeana §6.463spirat, et hinc miseri viscantur labra mariti: §6.464ad moechum lota veniunt cute.
Meanwhile, foul in aspect and ridiculous, her face is bloated with plenty of bread-poultice or smells of greasy Poppaean creams, and from this the lips of the wretched husband are glued: but with washed skin they go to their adulterer.
quando videri
When does she wish to seem beautiful at home?
§6.465vult formosa domi? moechis foliata parantur, §6.466his emitur quidquid graciles huc mittitis Indi.
For her adulterers nard-ointments are prepared, for them is bought whatever you slender Indians send here.
§6.467tandem aperit vultum et tectoria prima reponit; §6.468incipit agnosci, atque illo lacte fovetur §6.469propter quod secum comites educit asellas §6.470exul Hyperboreum si dimittetur ad axem.
At last she uncovers her face and removes the first coatings of plaster; she begins to be recognized, and is bathed in that milk for which she takes out she-asses with her as companions, even if she should be sent into exile to the Hyperborean pole.
§6.471sed quae mutatis inducitur atque fovetur §6.472tot medicaminibus coctaeque siliginis offas §6.473accipit et madidae, facies dicetur an ulcus?
But that which is smeared over and bathed with so many changing cosmetics, and receives lumps of boiled and wet wheat, shall it be called a face or an ulcer?
It is worth the effort to know thoroughly what they do and busy themselves with during the whole day.
si nocte maritus §6.476aversus iacuit, periit libraria, ponunt §6.477cosmetae tunicas, tarde venisse Liburnus §6.478dicitur et poenas alieni pendere somni §6.479cogitur; hic frangit ferulas, rubet ille flagello, §6.480hic scutica; sunt quae tortoribus annua praestent.
If at night the husband has lain turned away, the female secretary is ruined, the wardrobe keepers strip off their tunics, the Liburnian is said to have arrived late and is forced to pay the penalty for another's sleep; this one breaks rods, that one grows red under the whip, this one under the leather strap; there are some who pay yearly salaries to torturers.
§6.481verberat atque obiter faciem linit, audit amicas, §6.482aut latum pictae vestis considerat aurum, §6.483et caedit, longi relegit transversa diurni §6.484et caedit, donec lassis caedentibus
exi §6.485intonet horrendum iam cognitione peracta.
She beats and meanwhile smears her face, listens to her friends, or examines the broad gold of an embroidered dress, and beats, reads again the cross-entries of her long daily account-book, and beats, until the beaters being exhausted, "Get out!" she thunders terribly, the investigation now being finished.
§6.486Praefectura domus Sicilia non mitior aula; §6.487nam si constituit solitoque decentius optat §6.488ornari et properat iamque experiatur in hortis §6.489aut aput Isiacae potius sacraria lenae, §6.490disponit crinem laceratis ipsa capillis §6.491nuda umero Psecas infelix nudisque mamillis.
The government of her house is no milder than a Sicilian court; for if she has made an appointment and wishes to be adorned more decently than usual and is in a hurry, and is already expected in the gardens or rather at the shrine of the Isiac procuress, poor Psecas arranges her hair, with her own hair torn, naked to her shoulder and with naked breasts.
"Why is this curl higher?" The bull-whip punishes straightway the crime and misdeed of the curled hair.
§6.494quid Psecas admisit? quaenam est hic culpa puellae,
What did Psecas commit?
§6.495si tibi displicuit nasus tuus? altera laevum
What is the girl's fault here, if your own nose displeased you?
§6.496extendit pectitque comas et volvit in orbem.
Another slave on the left pulls out and combs the hair and rolls it into a circle.
§6.497est in consilio materna admotaque lanis §6.498emerita quae cessat acu; sententia prima §6.499huius erit, post hanc aetate atque arte minores §6.500censebunt, tamquam famae discrimen agatur §6.501aut animae: tanta est quaerendi cura decoris, §6.502tot premit ordinibus, tot adhuc conpagibus altum §6.503aedificat caput; Andromachen a fronte videbis; §6.504post minor est, credas aliam, cedo si breve parvi
An old family nurse is in council, who, put to the wool-work, now rests with her retired hairpin; her opinion will be first, after her those inferior in age and skill will vote, as if a crisis of reputation or of life were at stake: so great is the care of seeking beauty, with so many tiers she builds up, with so many structures still she builds her tall head; you will see Andromache from the front; behind she is shorter, you would think her another woman.
§6.505sortita est lateris spatium breviorque videtur §6.506virgine Pygmaea nullis adiuta cothurnis §6.507et levis erecta consurgit ad oscula planta.
Tell me, if she has received a brief space of small stature, and appears shorter than a Pygmy maiden, aided by no high boots, and light, she rises on her tiptoes to receive kisses.
§6.508nulla viri cura interea nec mentio fiet
Meanwhile, no care for her husband, nor mention of him will be made.