§6.309noctibus hic ponunt lecticas, micturiunt hic §6.310effigiemque deae longis siphonibus implent §6.311inque vices equitant ac Luna teste moventur; §6.312inde domos abeunt: tu calcas luce reversa §6.313coniugis urinam magnos visurus amicos.
At night they set down their litters here, they urinate here, and fill the image of the goddess with long squirts, and ride in turn and are moved with the Moon as witness; from there they go away to their homes: when light has returned, you step in your wife's urine as you go to visit your great friends.
§6.314Nota bonae secreta deae, cum tibia lumbos §6.315incitat et cornu pariter vinoque feruntur §6.316attonitae crinemque rotant ululantque Priapi §6.317maenades.
Well-known are the secrets of the Good Goddess, when the flute incites their loins, and, swept away equally by the horn and by wine, these crazed women whirl their hair and howl like maenads of Priapus.
o quantus tunc illis mentibus ardor §6.318concubitus, quae vox saltante libidine, quantus §6.319ille meri veteris per crura madentia torrens!
Oh, how great is the passion for copulation then in those minds, what a cry when lust dances, how great that torrent of old wine down their wet legs!
§6.320lenonum ancillas posita Saufeia corona §6.321provocat ac tollit pendentis praemia coxae; §6.322ipsa Medullinae fluctum crisantis adorat:
Saufeia, having laid aside her wreath, challenges the slave-girls of the pimp, and wins the prize for the swaying hip; she herself adores the flow of Medullina as she grinds.
§6.323palma inter dominas, virtus natalibus aequa,
This is victory among the mistresses, a virtue equal to their noble birth.
§6.324nil ibi per ludum simulabitur, omnia fient §6.325ad verum, quibus incendi iam frigidus aevo §6.326Laomedontiades et Nestoris hirnea possit,
Nothing there will be feigned in play, everything will be done in earnest, enough to inflame Priam, already cold with age, and the hernia of Nestor.
§6.327tunc prurigo morae inpatiens, tum femina simplex, §6.328ac pariter toto repetitus clamor ab antro §6.329iam fas est, admitte viros. si dormit adulter, §6.330illa iubet sumpto iuvenem properare cucullo; §6.331si nihil est, servis incurritur; abstuleris spem §6.332servorum, veniet conductus aquarius; hic si §6.333quaeritur et desunt homines, mora nulla per ipsam, §6.334quo minus imposito clunem summittat asello.
Then their lust is impatient of delay, then she is just a woman, and a cry is repeated in unison from the whole cave: "Now it is lawful, let the men in!" If the adulterer is asleep, she orders a young man to hurry over with a hood on; if there is nothing, they rush upon the slaves; if you take away the hope of slaves, a hired water-carrier will come; if he is sought in vain and men are lacking, there is no delay on her part to submit her hindquarters to a young donkey placed upon her.
§6.335atque utinam ritus veteres et publica saltem §6.336his intacta malis agerentur sacra! sed omnes
And would that the ancient rites and public sacred ceremonies at least were performed untouched by these evils!
§6.337noverunt Mauri atque. Indi quae psaltria penem §6.338maiorem, quam sunt duo Caesaris Anticatones, §6.339illuc, testiculi sibi conscius unde fugit mus, §6.340intulerit, ubi velari pictura iubetur §6.341quaecumque alterius sexus imitata figuras.
But all Moors and Indians know what female harp-player introduced a penis larger than two of Caesar's Anticatones, to that place from which even a mouse runs away if conscious of being male, where any picture is ordered to be veiled which represents the figures of the other sex.
§6.342Et quis tune hominum contemptor numinis? aut quis
And who of men was then a despiser of the deity?
Or who had dared to laugh at Numa's earthenware ladle and black bowl, and the fragile dishes from the Vatican hill?
§6.345ausus erat? sed nunc ad quas non Clodius aras?
But now, at what altars is there not a Clodius?
§6.347‘’ §6.349iamque eadem summis pariter minimisque libido, §6.350nec melior, silicem pedibus quae conterit atrum, §6.351quam quae longorum vehitur cervice Syrorum.
‘’ And now the same lust belongs equally to the highest and the lowest, nor is she any better who wears down the black flint with her feet, than she who is carried on the necks of tall Syrians.
§6.352Ut spectet ludos, conducit Ogulnia vestem, §6.353conducit comites sellam cervical amicas §6.354nutricem et flavam cui det mandata puellam, §6.355haec tamen argenti superest quodcumque paterni §6.356levibus athletis et vasa novissima donat;
To watch the games, Ogulnia hires a dress, she hires attendants, a chair, a cushion, female friends, a nurse, and a blonde girl to whom she may give her orders; yet she gives whatever remains of her father's silver to smooth athletes, and even her very last vessels.
§6.357multis res angusta domi, sed nulla pudorem §6.358paupertatis habet nec se metitur ad illum §6.359quem dedit haec posuitque modum, tamen utile quid sit
For many women resources are narrow at home, but none of them has any shame of poverty, nor does she measure herself by that limit which poverty has given and established.
§6.360prospiciunt aliquando viri, frigusque famemque §6.361formica tandem quidam expavere magistra: §6.362prodiga non sentit pereuntem femina censum.
Yet what may be useful husbands sometimes foresee, and cold and hunger some have at last come to dread, with the ant as their teacher; but a prodigal woman does not perceive her vanishing fortune.
§6.363ac velut exhausta redivivus pullulet arca §6.364nummus et e pleno tollatur semper acervo, §6.365non umquam re putant quanti sibi gaudia constent.
And as if from an exhausted chest a coin would sprout anew and was always being taken from a full heap, they never reflect in reality how much their pleasures cost them.
§6.366OIn quacumque domo vivit luditque professus §6.367Oobscenum, tremula promittit et omnia dextra, §6.368Oinvenies omnis turpes similesque cinaedis.
In whatever house there lives and plays one who has professed obscenity, and promises everything with a trembling right hand, you will find everyone filthy and similar to pathics.
§6.369Ohis violare cibos sacraeque adsistere mensae §6.371Opermittunt, et vasa iubent frangenda lavari, §6.372Ocum colocyntha bibit vel cum barbata chelidon.
Women allow these people to defile their food and stand at the sacred table, and order the vessels to be broken after washing, when a colocynth or a bearded swallow drinks from them.
§6.373Opurior ergo tuis laribus meliorque lanista, §6.374Oin cuius numero longe migrare iubetur §6.375Opsellus ab Eupholio; quid quod nec retia turpi §6.376Oiunguntur tunicae, nec cella ponit eadem §6.377Omunimenta umeri pulsatamque arma tridentem §6.378Oqui nudus pugnare solet? pars ultima ludi
Therefore, a gladiatorial school is purer and better than your household gods, in whose ranks a lisping trainer is ordered to move far from Eupholius; what about the fact that nets are not joined to a shameful tunic, nor does he who is accustomed to fight naked place in the same room the armor for his shoulder and the weapons, the battered trident?
§6.379Oaccipit has animas aliusque in carcere nervos, §6.380Osed tibi communem calicem facit uxor et illis, §6.381Ocum quibus Albanum Surrentinumque recuset §6.382Oflava ruinosi lupa degustare sepulchri,
The lowest part of the school receives these souls, and other shackles in the prison, but your wife makes a cup common to you and those with whom the blonde whore of a ruined tomb would refuse to taste Alban or Surrentine wine.
§6.383Ohorum consiliis nubunt subitaeque recedunt, §6.384Ohis languentem animum servant et seria vitae, §6.385Ohis clunem atque latus discunt vibrare magistris, §6.386Oquicquid praeterea scit qui docet, haud tamen illi §6.387Osemper habenda fides: oculos fuligine pascit §6.388Odistinctus croceis et reticulatus adulter,
On their advice they marry and quickly depart, to them they entrust their listless minds and the serious affairs of life, with them as teachers they learn to shake buttocks and hips, and whatever else he who teaches knows; yet he is not always to be trusted: he paints his eyes with soot, and is an adulterer in disguise, wearing saffron robes and a hairnet.