§5.2.1Ecquid ubi e Ponto nova venit epistula, palles, §5.2.2et tibi sollicita solvitur illa manu? §5.2.3pone metum, valeo; corpusque, quod ante laborum §5.2.4inpatiens nobis invalidumque fuit, §5.2.5sufficit, atque ipso vexatum induruit usu. §5.2.6an magis infirmo non vacat esse mihi? §5.2.7mens tamen aegra iacet, nec tempore robora sumpsit, §5.2.8affectusque animi, qui fuit ante, manet. §5.2.9quaeque mora spatioque suo coitura putavi §5.2.10vulnera non aliter quam modo facta dolent. §5.2.11scilicet exiguis prodest annosa vetustas; §5.2.12grandibus accedunt tempore damna malis, §5.2.13paene decem totis aluit Poeantius annis §5.2.14pestiferum tumido vulnus ab angue datum. §5.2.15Telephus aeterna consumptus tabe perisset, §5.2.16si non, quae nocuit, dextra tulisset opem. §5.2.17et mea, si facinus nullum commisimus, opto, §5.2.18vulnera qui fecit, facta levare velit, §5.2.19contentusque mei iam tandem parte doloris §5.2.20exiguum pleno de mare demat aquae, §5.2.21detrahat ut multum, multum restabit acerbi, §5.2.22parsque meae poenae totius instar erit. §5.2.23litora quot conchas, quot amoena rosaria flores, §5.2.24quotve soporiferum grana papaver habet, §5.2.25silva feras quot alit, quot piscibus unda natatur, §5.2.26quot tenerum pennis aera pulsat avis, §5.2.27tot premor adversis: quae si comprendere coner, §5.2.28Icariae numerum dicere coner aquae, §5.2.29utque viae casus, ut amara pericula ponti, §5.2.30ut taceam strictas in mea fata manus, §5.2.31barbara me tellus orbisque novissima magni §5.2.32sustinet et saevo cinctus ab hoste locus, §5.2.33hinc ego traicerer —neque enim mea culpa cruenta est— §5.2.34esset, quae debet, si tibi cura mei. §5.2.35ille deus, bene quo Romana potentia nixa est, §5.2.36saepe suo victor lenis in hoste fuit. §5.2.37quid dubitas et tuta times? accede rogaque: §5.2.38Caesare nil ingens mitius orbis habet, §5.2.39me miserum! quid agam, si proxima quaeque relinquunt? §5.2.40subtrahis effracto tu §5.2.41quoque colla iugo? quo ferar? unde petam lassis solacia rebus? §5.2.42ancora iam nostram non tenet ulla ratem, videris §5.2.43! ipse sacram, quamvis invisus, ad aram §5.2.44confugiam; nullas summovet ara manus. §5.2.45Adloquor en absens absentia numina supplex, §5.2.46si fas est homini cum Iove posse loqui, §5.2.47arbiter imperii, quo certum est sospite cunctos §5.2.48Ausoniae curam gentis habere deos, §5.2.49O decus, o patriae per te florentis imago, §5.2.50o vir non ipso, quem regis, orbe minor— §5.2.51sic habites terras et te desideret aether, §5.2.52sic ad pacta tibi sidera tardus eas— §5.2.53parce, precor, minimamque tuo de fulmine partem §5.2.54deme! satis poenae, quod superabit, erit. §5.2.55ira quidem moderata tua est, vitamque dedisti, §5.2.56nec mihi ius civis nec mihi nomen abest, §5.2.57nec mea concessa est aliis fortuna, nec exul §5.2.58edicti verbis nominor ipse tui. §5.2.59omniaque haec timui, quia me meruisse videbam; §5.2.60sed tua peccato lenior ira meo est. §5.2.61arva relegatum iussisti visere Ponti, §5.2.62et Scythicum profuga scindere puppe fretum, §5.2.63iussus ad Euxini deformia litora veni §5.2.64aequoris—haec gelido terra sub axe iacet— §5.2.65nec me tam cruciat numquam sine frigore caelum, §5.2.66glaebaque canenti semper obusta gelu, §5.2.67nesciaque est vocis quod barbara lingua Latinae, §5.2.68Graecaque quod Getico victa loquella sono est, §5.2.69quam quod finitimo cinctus premor undique Marte, §5.2.70vixque brevis tutum murus ab hoste facit. §5.2.71pax tamen interdum est, pacis fiducia numquam: §5.2.72sic hic nunc patitur, nunc timet arma locus. §5.2.73hinc ego dum muter, vel me Zanclaea Charybdis §5.2.74devoret atque suis ad Styga mittat aquis, §5.2.75vel rapidae flammis urar patienter in Aetnae, §5.2.76vel freta Leucadii mittar in alta dei. §5.2.77quod petimus, poena est: neque enim miser esse recuso, §5.2.78sed precor ut possim tutius esse miser.
Do you grow pale indeed when a new letter comes from Pontus, and is it opened by you with an anxious hand? Lay aside fear, I am well; and my body, which before was impatient of labors and weak for us, holds out, and has grown hard, harassed by that very experience. Or rather, is there no leisure for me to be ill? Yet my mind lies sick, and has not gathered strength with time, and my state of mind, which was before, remains. And the wounds which I thought would heal by time and their own interval, hurt no otherwise than if just now inflicted. To be sure, long-standing age is of benefit to small evils; to great misfortunes, losses are added with time. Almost ten whole years did the son of Poeas cherish the deadly wound given by the swollen snake. Telephus would have perished, consumed by everlasting decay, if the right hand which harmed him had not brought help. And I too pray, if we have committed no crime, that he who made the wounds may wish to lighten them now made, and content at last with a part of my pain, may take away a little water from a full sea. Though he should take away much, much of bitterness will remain, and a part of my punishment will be equal to the whole. As many shells as the shores have, as many flowers as pleasant rose-gardens, or as many seeds as the sleep-bringing poppy has, as many wild beasts as the forest nourishes, as many fish as the wave is swum by, as many wings as the bird strikes the soft air with, so many adversities press upon me: which if I should try to enumerate, I should try to tell the number of the Icarian water. And though I should be silent about the disasters of the journey, and the bitter dangers of the sea, and though I should be silent about the weapons drawn for my destruction, a barbarous land and the furthest part of the great world holds me, and a place surrounded by a fierce enemy. Hence I should be transferred —for indeed my fault is not bloody— if you had a care for me, such as you ought to have. That god, on whom the Roman power is well supported, as victor was often gentle toward his own enemy. Why do you hesitate and fear safe things? Approach and ask: the vast world has nothing gentler than Caesar. Wretched me! what shall I do, if those closest of all abandon me? Do you too withdraw your neck from the broken yoke? Whither shall I be carried? Whence shall I seek solace for my weary state? No anchor now holds our ship. Look to it yourself! I myself, though hated, will flee to the sacred altar; the altar rejects no hands. Lo, absent I address absent deities as a suppliant, if it is lawful for a man to be able to speak with Jove, ruler of the empire, as long as you are safe it is certain that all the gods have care for the Ausonian race, O glory, o image of the fatherland flourishing through you, o man not less than the world itself which you rule— so may you inhabit the earth and may heaven long for you, so may you go late to the stars promised to you— spare, I pray, and take away the smallest part from your thunderbolt! What remains will be enough for punishment. Indeed your wrath was moderate, and you gave me life, nor is the right of a citizen nor the name of a citizen absent from me, nor has my fortune been given to others, nor as an exile am I myself named in the words of your edict. And all these things I feared, because I saw that I had deserved them; but your wrath is gentler than my sin. You commanded me, relegated, to visit the fields of Pontus, and to cleave the Scythian sea with a fleeing ship. Having been commanded, I came to the ugly shores of the Euxine sea—this land lies under the cold axis of heaven— nor does the sky, never without cold, torment me so much, and the soil always parched with white frost, nor that the barbarous tongue is ignorant of the Latin voice, and that the Greek speech has been conquered by the Getic sound, as that I, surrounded, am pressed on all sides by neighboring war, and a low wall scarcely makes me safe from the enemy. Yet sometimes there is peace, never trust in peace: thus this place now suffers arms, now fears them. Provided that I be moved hence, even though Zanclaean Charybdis should devour me and send me to the Styx with her waters, or though I should be burned patiently in the flames of rapid Aetna, or though I should be cast into the deep waves of the Leucadian god. What we seek is punishment: for indeed I do not refuse to be wretched, but I pray that I may be able to be wretched more safely.