§9.6.1nos adhuc Brundisio nihil.
\nWe have as yet received nothing from Brundisium.
Roma scripsit Balbus putare iam Lentulum consulem tramisisse nec eum a minore Balbo conventum, quod is hoc iam Canusi audisset; inde ad se eum scripsisse; cohortesque sex quae Albae fuissent ad Curium via Minucia transisse; id Caesarem ad se scripsisse et brevi tempore eum ad urbem futurum.
Balbus has written from Rome that he thinks the consul Lentulus has already crossed over, and that he was not met by the younger Balbus, because the latter had already heard this at Canusium; from there he wrote to him; and that six cohorts which had been at Alba have crossed over to Curius by the Via Minucia; that Caesar had written this to him and that he would shortly be near the city.
ergo utar tuo consilio neque me Arpinum hoc tempore abdam, etsi, Ciceroni meo togam puram quom dare Arpini vellem, hanc eram ipsam excusationem relicturus ad Caesarem.
Therefore I shall follow your advice and not hide myself in Arpinum at this time, although, as I wished to give my Cicero his pure toga at Arpinum, I was going to leave this very excuse for Caesar.
sed fortasse in eo ipso offendetur, cur non Romae potius.
But perhaps he will be offended at that very point, as to why it was not done at Rome rather.
ac tamen si est conveniendus, hic potissimum.
And yet, if he must be met, here of all places is best.
tum reliqua videbimus, id est et quo et qua et quando. §9.6.2Domitius, ut audio, in Cosano est et quidem, ut aiunt, paratus ad navigandum, si in Hispaniam, non probo, si ad Gnaeum, laudo; quovis potius certe quam ut Curtium videat quem ego patronus aspicere non possum.
Then we shall see about the rest, that is, both whither, by what way, and when.\n\nDomitius, as I hear, is in his estate at Cosa and indeed, as they say, prepared for sailing; if to Spain, I do not approve; if to Gnaeus, I praise him; anywhere indeed rather than to see Curtius, whom I, though his patron, cannot bear to look upon.
quid alios? sed, opinor, quiescamus, ne nostram culpam coarguamus qui, dum urbem, id est patriam, amamus dumque rem conventuram putamus, ita nos gessimus ut plane interclusi captique simus.
What about the others? But, I think, let us remain quiet, lest we prove our own guilt, we who, while we loved the city, that is, our country, and while we thought the matter would be settled, so conducted ourselves that we are clearly cut off and captured.\n\nWhen my letter had already been written, a letter was brought from Capua to this effect:\n"Pompey has crossed the sea with all the soldiers he had with him.
§9.6.3scripta iam epistula Capua litterae sunt adlatae hoc a exemplo:
"Pompeius mare transiit cum omnibus militibus quos secum habuit. hic numerus est hominum milia triginta et consules duo et tribuni pl. et senatores qui fuerunt cum eo omnes cum uxoribus et liberis.
This number is thirty thousand men, and the two consuls, the tribunes of the plebs, and all the senators who were with him, with their wives and children.
conscendisse dicitur a. d. iiii Nonas Martias.
He is said to have embarked on the fourth day before the Nones of March.
ex ea die fuere septemtriones venti.
Since that day north winds have prevailed.
navis quibus usus non est omnis aut praecidisse aut incendisse dicunt.
They say that all the ships which he did not use he either cut adrift or burned."\nOn this matter, letters were brought to L.
"
de hac re litterae L. Metello tribuno pl. Capuam adlatae sunt a Clodia socru quae ipsa transiit.
Metellus, tribune of the plebs, at Capua, from his mother-in-law Clodia, who herself crossed over.\n\nBefore, I was anxious and tormented, as indeed the matter itself compelled, when I could resolve nothing by counsel; but now, after Pompey and the consuls have departed from Italy, I am not tormented but burning with grief:\n"\nMy heart is not firm, but I am distracted.\n"\nI am not, I say, believe me, in my right mind; so great is the disgrace I seem to have incurred.
§9.6.4ante sollicitus eram et angebar, sicut res scilicet ipsa cogebat, quom consilio explicare nihil possem; nunc autem postquam Pompeius et consules ex Italia exierunt, non angor sed ardeo dolore,
"
οὐδέ μοι ἦτορ
ἔμπεδον, ἀλλ' ἀλαλύκτημαι. "
non sum, inquam, mihi crede, mentis compos; tantum mihi dedecoris admisisse videor. mene non primum cum Pompeio qualicumque consilio usus est, deinde cum bonis esse quamvis causa temere instituta? praesertim cum ii ipsi quorum ego causa timidius me fortunae committebam, uxor, filia, Cicerones pueri me illud sequi mallent, hoc turpe et me indignum putarent.
Should I not first have been with Pompey, whatever counsel he adopted, and then with the "good men," however rashly their cause was undertaken? Especially when those very persons for whose sake I was more timidly committing myself to fortune—my wife, my daughter, and the young Ciceros—preferred that I should follow that course, and considered this one shameful and unworthy of me.
nam Quintus quidem frater quicquid mihi placeret id rectum se putare aiebat, id animo aequissimo sequebatur.
For my brother Quintus, indeed, used to say that whatever pleased me he considered right, and he followed it with a most contented mind.\n\nI am now reading your letters from the beginning.
§9.6.5tuas nunc epistulas a primo lego. hae me paulum recreant.
These recreate me a little.
primae monent et rogant ne me proiciam, proximae gaudere te ostendunt me remansisse.
The first ones advise and entreat me not to fling myself away; the next show that you rejoice that I remained.
eas cum lego, minus mihi turpis videor, sed tam diu dum lego.
While I read them, I seem less shameful to myself, but only so long as I read.
deinde emergit rursum dolor et αἰσχροῦ.
Then the pain and the sense of disgrace emerge again.
quam ob rem obsecro te, mi Tite, eripe mihi hunc dolorem aut minue saltem aut consolatione aut consilio aut quacumque re potes.
Wherefore I beseech you, my Titus, snatch this pain from me, or at least diminish it either by consolation or advice, or by whatever means you can.
quid tu autem possis? aut quid homo quisquam? vix iam deus. §9.6.6equidem illud molior quod tu mones sperasque fieri posse, ut mihi Caesar concedat ut absim cum aliquid in senatu contra Gnaeum agatur.
But what can you do? Or what can any man do? Hardly now even a god.\n\nIndeed I am working at what you advise and hope can be done, that Caesar may grant me that I may be absent when anything is being done in the senate against Gnaeus.
sed timeo ne non impetrem.
But I fear that I may not obtain it.
venit ab eo Furnius.
Furnius has come from him.
ut quidem scias quos sequamur, Q. Titini filium cum Caesare esse nuntiat, sed illum maiores mihi gratias agere quam vellem.
Indeed, that you may know whom we are following, he announces that the son of Q. Titinius is with Caesar; but the latter renders me greater thanks than I could wish.
quid autem me roget paucis ille quidem verbis sed ἐν δυνάμει, cognosce ex ipsius epistula.
But as to what he asks of me, in few words indeed but with great weight, learn from his own letter.
me miserum quod tu non valuisti! una fuissemus;
Wretched me, that you were not well!
consilium certe non defuisset; "σύν τε δύ' ἐρχομένω"
—.
We would have been together; counsel certainly would not have been lacking;\n"When two go together"\n—.\n\nBut let us not do what has been done; let us prepare for what remains.
§9.6.7sed acta ne agamus, reliqua paremus. me adhuc haec duo fefellerunt, initio spes compositionis, qua facta volebam uti populari vita, sollicitudine senectutem nostram liberare; deinde bellum crudele et exitiosum suscipi a Pompeio intellegebam.
Up to this point two things have deceived me: at first, the hope of a peace settlement, upon which having been made, I wished to enjoy a private life and free our old age from anxiety; next, I understood that a cruel and destructive war was being undertaken by Pompey.
melioris medius fidius civis et viri putabam quovis supplicio adfici quam illi crudelitati non solum praeesse verum etiam interesse.
By Hercules, I thought it was the part of a better citizen and man to be afflicted with any punishment rather than not only to lead but even to take part in that cruelty.
videtur vel mori satius fuisse quam esse cum his.
It seems to have been better even to die than to be with these men.
ad haec igitur cogita, mi Attice, vel potius excogita.
Think, therefore, upon these things, my Atticus, or rather think them out.
quemvis eventum fortius feram quam hunc dolorem.
I shall bear any outcome more bravely than this pain.