§9.5.1Natali die tuo scripsisti epistulam ad me plenam consili summaeque cum benevolentiae tum etiam prudentiae.
On your birthday you wrote a letter to me full of advice and of the greatest goodwill as well as prudence.
eam mihi Philotimus postridie quam a te acceperat reddidit.
Philotimus delivered it to me the day after he had received it from you.
sunt ista quidem quae disputas difficillima, iter ad superum, navigatio infero, discessus Arpinum ne hunc fugisse, mansio Formiis ne obtulisse nos gratulationi videamur, sed miserius nihil quam ea videre quae tamen iam, inquam, videnda erunt.
The points indeed which you discuss are extremely difficult: the route to the Upper Sea, the voyage on the Lower Sea, the departure for Arpinum lest we seem to have fled from this man, the stay at Formiae lest we seem to have presented ourselves for congratulation; but nothing is more wretched than to see those things which nevertheless, I say, will now have to be seen.
fuit apud me Postumus, scripsi ad te quam gravis.
Postumus was at my house; I wrote to you how annoying he was.
venit ad me etiam Q. Fufius quo vultu, quo spiritu! properans Brundisium, scelus accusans Pompei, levitatem et stultitiam senatus.
Q. Fufius also came to me, with what a look, with what a spirit! hurrying to Brundisium, accusing Pompey of crime, and the senate of levity and folly.
haec qui in mea villa non feram, Curtium in curia potero ferre?
Since I cannot bear these things in my own villa, shall I be able to bear Curtius in the senate house?
§9.5.2age, finge me quamvis εὐστομάχωσ haec ferentem; quid illa dic, M. Tulli? quem habebunt exitum? et omitto causam rei publicae quam ego amissam puto cum vulneribus suis tum medicamentis iis quae parantur, de Pompeio quid agam? quoi plane (quid enim hoc negem?) suscensui.
Come, imagine me bearing these things however patiently; tell me, Marcus Tullius, what about those other things? What end will they have? And I omit the cause of the republic, which I consider lost both by its wounds and by those remedies which are being prepared; what am I to do about Pompey? With whom (for why should I deny this?) I was clearly angry.
semper enim me causae eventorum magis movent quam ipsa eventa.
For the causes of events always move me more than the events themselves.
haec igitur mala (quibus maiora esse quae possunt?) considerans vel potius iudicans eius opera accidisse et culpa inimicior eram huic quam ipsi Caesari.
Considering, therefore, or rather judging, that these evils (than which what could be greater?) occurred by his agency and fault, I was more hostile to him than to Caesar himself.
ut maiores nostri funestiorem diem esse voluerunt Alliensis pugnae quam urbis captae, quod hoc malum ex illo (itaque alter religiosus etiam nunc dies, alter in vulgus ignotus), sic ego decem annorum peccata recordans in quibus inerat ille etiam annus qui nos hoc non defendente, ne dicam gravius, adflixerat praesentisque temporis cognoscens temeritatem, ignaviam, neglegentiam suscensebam.
Just as our ancestors willed that the day of the Battle of the Allia should be more ill-omened than that of the capture of the city, because the latter evil arose from the former (and so the one is still a day of religious dread, while the other is unknown to the common people), so I, recalling the sins of ten years, in which was included also that year which had afflicted us when he did not defend us, not to say anything more severe, and recognizing the rashness, cowardice, and negligence of the present time, was angry.
§9.5.3sed ea iam mihi exciderunt; beneficia eiusdem cogito, cogito etiam dignitatem;
But those things have now slipped from my mind; I think of his benefits, I think also of his dignity.
intellego serius equidem quam vellem propter epistulas sermonesque Balbi, sed video plane nihil aliud agi, nihil actum ab initio, nisi ut hunc occideret.
I understand it indeed later than I would have wished, because of the letters and conversations of Balbus, but I see clearly that nothing else is being done, nothing has been done from the beginning, except that Caesar might kill him.
ego igitur, sicut ille apud Homerum cui et mater et dea dixisset,
"αὐτίκα γάρ τοι ἔπειτα μεθ' Ἕκτορα πότμοσ ἕτοιμος,"
matri ipse respondit,
"
αὐτίκα τεθναίην, ἐπεὶ οὐκ ἄρ' ἔμελλον ἑταίρῳ
κτεινομένῳ ἐπαμῦναι,
"
quid si non ἑταίρῳ solum sed etiam εὐεργέτῃ, adde tali viro talem causam agenti? ego vero haec officia mercanda vita puto.
I, therefore, just as that hero in Homer to whom his mother, though a goddess, had said, "For straightway after Hector your fate is ready," replied to his mother herself, "Straightway let me die, since I was not to help my companion as he was being slain," what if he was not only a companion but also a benefactor, and add, such a man conducting such a cause? Indeed, I think these duties are to be purchased with life itself.
optimatibus vero tuis nihil confido, nihil iam ne inservio quidem.
But I have no confidence in your "best men," and I no longer even serve them.
§9.5.4video ut se huic dent, ut daturi sint.
I see how they surrender themselves to this man, and how they will continue to surrender.
quicquam tu illa putas fuisse de valetudine decreta municipiorum prae his de victoria gratulationibus?
"timent"
inquies.
Do you think those decrees of the municipalities concerning his health were anything compared to these congratulations on his victory? "They are afraid," you will say.
at ipsi tum se timuisse dicunt.
But they themselves say they were afraid then.
sed videamus quid actum sit Brundisi.
But let us see what has been done at Brundisium.
ex eo fortasse νέα consilia nascentur aliaeque litterae.
From that, perhaps, new plans will arise and other letters.