§10.31.1minime mirum tibi debet videri nihil me scripsisse de re p. , postea quam itum est ad arma.
It ought by no means to seem strange to you that I have written nothing about public affairs since resort was had to arms.
nam saltus Castulonensis, qui semper tenuit nostros tabellarios, etsi nunc frequentioribus latrociniis infestior factus est, tamen nequaquam tanta in hora est, quanta qui locis omnibus dispositi ab utraque parte scrutantur tabellarios et retinent.
For the Castulonian Pass, which has always delayed our messengers, although it has now been made more dangerous by more frequent acts of banditry, is yet by no means so great an obstacle as those who, stationed at every point by both sides, search the messengers and detain them.
itaque nisi nave perlatae litterae essent, omnino nescirem quid istic fieret.
Therefore, unless letters had been brought by ship, I should have been completely ignorant of what was happening there.
nunc vero nactus occasionem, postea quam navigari coeptum est, cupidissime et quam creberrime potero scribam ad te.
But now, having found an opportunity, since navigation has begun, I shall write to you as eagerly and as frequently as I possibly can.
§10.31.2ne movear eius sermonibus quem tametsi nemo est qui videre velit, tamen nequaquam proinde ac dignus est oderunt homines, periculum non est; adeo est enim invisus mihi, ut nihil non acerbum putem, quod commune cum illo sit.
There is no danger of my being moved by the talk of that man whom, although there is no one who wishes to see him, people yet by no means hate as much as he deserves; for he is so detestable to me that I think everything is bitter that is shared with him.
natura autem mea et studia trahunt me ad pacis et libertatis cupiditatem.
Moreover, my nature and interests draw me to the desire for peace and liberty.
itaque illud initium civilis belli saepe deflevi; cum vero non liceret mihi nullius partis esse, quia utrubique magnos inimicos habebam, ea castra fugi, in quibus plane tutum me ab insidiis inimici sciebam non futurum; compulsus eo quo minime volebam, ne in extremis essem, plane pericula non dubitanter adii.
Therefore, I often lamented that beginning of the civil war; but when it was not permitted for me to belong to neither side, because I had powerful enemies on both sides, I fled that camp in which I knew clearly that I would not be safe from the plots of my enemy; and having been driven to that side which I least desired, lest I should be in extreme danger, I clearly faced the perils without hesitation.
§10.31.3Caesarem vero, quod me in tanta fortuna modo cognitum vetustissimorum familiarium loco habuit, dilexi summa cum pietate et fide.
As for Caesar, because he treated me, whom he had only recently known in the midst of such great fortune, as one of his oldest friends, I loved him with the greatest devotion and loyalty.
quae mea sententia gerere mihi licuit, ita feci ut optimus quisque maxime probarit; quod iussus sum, eo tempore atque ita feci ut appareret invito imperatum esse.
What I was permitted to do according to my own judgment, I did in such a way that all the best men approved of it most; what I was ordered to do, I did at such a time and in such a way that it was apparent that the command was given to an unwilling man.
cuius facti iniustissima invidia erudire me potuit quam iucunda libertas et quam misera sub dominatione vita esset.
The most unjust ill-will resulting from this action was able to teach me how pleasant liberty is and how miserable life is under a despotism.
ita si id agitur ut rursus in potestate omnia unius sint, quicumque is est, ei me profiteor inimicum, nec periculum est ullum quod pro libertate aut refugiam aut deprecer.
Therefore, if the object is that everything should again be in the power of one man, whoever he may be, I declare myself his enemy, nor is there any danger which I would either shun or pray to avoid for the sake of liberty.
§10.31.4sed consules neque senatus consulto neque litteris suis praeceperant mihi quid facerem; unas enim post Idus Mart. demum a Pansa litteras accepi, in quibus hortatur me ut senatu scribam me et exercitum in potestate eius futurum.
But the consuls had instructed me what to do neither by a decree of the senate nor by their own letters; for I received only a single letter from Pansa at last after the Ides of March, in which he exhorts me to write to the senate that I and the army would be in its power.
quod, cum Lepidus contionaretur atque omnibus scriberet se consentire cum Antonio, maxime contrarium fuit; nam quibus commeatibus invito illo per illius provinciam legiones ducerem? aut si cetera transissem, num etiam Alpis poteram transvolare, quae praesidio illius tenentur? adde huc quod perferri litterae nulla condicione potuerunt; sescentis enim locis excutiuntur, deinde etiam retinentur ab Lepido tabellarii.
This, when Lepidus was delivering harangues and writing to everyone that he agreed with Antony, was extremely inconvenient; for by what provisions could I lead the legions through his province against his will? Or, if I had passed through other obstacles, was I even able to fly over the Alps, which are held by his garrison? Add to this that letters could by no means be delivered; for they are searched in countless places, and furthermore, the messengers are detained by Lepidus.
§10.31.5illud me Cordubae pro contione dixisse nemo vocabit in dubium, provinciam me nulli, nisi qui ab senatu missus venisset, traditurum.
No one will call into doubt that I said this before the assembly at Corduba: that I would hand over the province to no one except to him who came sent by the senate.
nam de legione tricesima tradenda quantas contentiones habuerim quid ego scribam? qua tradita quanto pro re p.
For why should I write about how great contentions I had concerning the handing over of the thirtieth legion? Who is ignorant of how much weaker I should have been for the sake of the republic if it had been handed over?
infirmior futurus fuerim quis ignorat? hac enim legione noli acrius aut pugnacius quicquam putare esse.
For do not think that anything is more fierce or more combative than this legion.
qua re eum me existima esse, qui primum pacis cupidissimus sim (omnis enim civis plane studeo esse salvos), deinde qui et me et rem publicam vindicare in libertatem paratus sim.
Therefore, consider me to be one who, in the first place, is most desirous of peace (for I earnestly desire all citizens to be safe), and in the second place, is prepared to vindicate both myself and the republic into liberty.
§10.31.6quod familiarem meum tuorum numero habes, opinione tua mihi gratius est; invideo illi tamen, quod ambulat et iocatur tecum.
That you hold my friend among the number of your own is more pleasing to me than you think; yet I envy him because he walks and jokes with you.
quaeres quanti aestimem.
You will ask how much I value this.
si umquam licuerit vivere in otio, experieris; nullum enim vestigium abs te discessurus sum.
If it is ever permitted to live in retirement, you will experience it; for I am not going to depart a single step from you.
illud vehementer admiror, non scripsisse te mihi manendo in provincia an ducendo exercitum in Italiam rei p. magis satis facere possim.
I vehemently wonder at this, that you have not written to me whether I can satisfy the republic more by remaining in the province or by leading the army into Italy.
ego quidem, etsi mihi tutius ac minus laboriosum est manere, tamen, quia video tali tempore multo magis legionibus opus esse quam provinciis, quae praesertim reciperari nullo negotio possunt, constitui, ut nunc est, cum exercitu proficisci.
I indeed, although it is safer and less laborious for me to remain, yet, because I see that in such a time there is much more need of legions than of provinces, which especially can be recovered with no trouble, have decided, as things now stand, to set out with the army.
deinde ex litteris, quas ' Pansae misi, cognosces omnia; nam tibi earum exemplar misi.
Next, from the letters which I sent to Pansa, you will know everything; for I have sent you a copy of them.
xvii K. Apr. Corduba.
March 16th, from Corduba.