(Lycus) He said that in all the entrails there was portended for me ruin and loss, and that the gods were angry with me.
§466quid ei divini aut humani aequomst credere?
What of his, whether divine or human, is it just to believe?
§467mina mihi argenti dono postilla datast.
Since immediately after that, a mina of silver was given to me as a gift.
§468sed quaeso, ubi nam illic restitit miles modo, §469qui hanc mihi donavit, quem ego vocavi ad prandium?
But please, where on earth did that soldier stop just now, who presented this to me, whom I invited to lunch?
§470sed eccum incedit.
But look, he is coming along.
§470bIta ut occepi dicere, §471lenulle, de illa pugna Pentetronica, §472quom sexaginta milia hominum uno die §473volaticorum manibus occidi meis.
(Soldier) Just as I began to say, my little pimp, about that Pentetronic battle, when on a single day, sixty thousand flying men I killed with my own hands.
§474Volaticorum hóminum?
(Lycus) Flying men?
§474bIta dico quidem.
(Soldier) So I say indeed.
§475An, opsecro, usquam sunt homines volatici?
(Lycus) Please, are there flying men anywhere?
§476Fuere.
(Soldier) There were.
verum ego interfeci.
But I killed them.
§477bDicam.
(Soldier) I will tell you.
viscum legioni dedi §478fundasque; eo praésternebant folia farferi.
I gave birdlime and slings to the legion; on them they spread leaves of coltsfoot.
§479Quoi rei?
(Lycus) For what purpose?
§479bAd fundas viscus né adhaeresceret.
(Soldier) Lest the birdlime should stick to the slings.
§480Perge.
(Lycus) Go on.
optume hercle perieras.
By Hercules, it would have been best if you had perished.
quid postea?
What after that?
(Soldier) They put quite large balls of birdlime into the slings; I ordered those flying ones to be pelted with them.
§483quid multa verba? quemquem visco offenderant,
Why many words?
§484_485tam crebri ad terram áccidebant quam pira.
Whomever they hit with the birdlime, they fell to the ground as thick as pears.
As each one had fallen, I killed him on the spot through his brain with his own feather, like a turtledove.
§488Si hercle istuc umquam factum est, tum me Iuppiter §489faciat ut semper sacruficem nec umquám litem.
(Lycus) By Hercules, if that was ever done, then may Jupiter make me always sacrifice and never obtain a favorable omen.
§490An mi haec non credis?
(Soldier) Don't you believe me in this?
§490bCredo, ut mi aequomst credier.
(Lycus) I believe it, as is proper for me to be believed.
§491age eamus intro.
Come, let's go inside.
(Soldier) While the entrails are being brought back, I want to tell you also of one more battle.
§492bNil moror.
(Lycus) I care nothing for it.
§493Ausculta.
(Soldier) Listen.
§493bNon hercle auscultabo.
(Lycus) By Hercules, I will not listen.
§493cQuo modo?
(Soldier) How's that?
By Hercules, I will smash your head with my fists now, unless you either listen or go to the bad cross.
§496Malam crucem ibo potius.
(Lycus) I'd rather go to the bad cross.
§496bCertumnest tibi?
(Soldier) Are you sure?
§497Certum.
(Lycus) Sure.
(Soldier) Then, therefore, on a good day at the Aphrodisia, knock down your younger courtesan to me.
(Lycus) Such was my sacrifice: all serious business I postpone from this day to another day.
§501Profestos festos habeam decretum est mihi.
I have decreed for myself to keep common days as holidays.
§502Nunc hinc eamus intro.
Now let's go inside from here.
sequere hac me.
Follow me this way.
— §502bSeqor.
(Soldier) I follow.
§503in hunc diem iam tuos sum mercennarius. —
For this day now I am your hireling.
§504Íta me di ament, tardo amico nihil est quicquam inaequius, §505praesertim homini amanti, qui quidquid agit properat omnia.
(Agorastocles) So may the gods love me, there is nothing more unfair than a slow friend, especially to a lover, who, whatever he does, hurries everything.
§506sicut ego hos duco advocatos, homines spissigradissimos, §507tardiores quam corbitae sunt in tranquillo mari.
Just as I lead these advocates, men of slowest step, slower than cargo ships in a calm sea.
§508atque equidem hercle dedita opera amicos fugitavi senes: §509scibam aetate tardiores, metui meo amori moram.
And indeed, by Hercules, on purpose I avoided old friends: I knew they were slower because of age; I feared a delay to my love.
§510nequiquam hos procos mi elegi loripedis, tardissimos.
In vain have I chosen for myself these crook-shanked suitors, the slowest of all.
§511quin si ituri hodie estis, ite, aut ite hinc in malam crucem.
Nay, if you are going to go today, go, or go from here to the bad cross!
§512sicine oportet ire amicos homini amanti operam datum?
Is it thus proper for friends to go to give help to a loving man?
§513nam iste quidem gradus succretust cribro pollinario, §514nisi cum pedicis condidicistis istoc grassari gradu.
For that step of yours has been sifted through a flour sieve, unless you have learned to march with that step with shackles on.
§515Heus tu, quamquam nos videmur tibi plebeii et pauperes, §516si nec recte dicis nobis, dives de summo loco, §517divitem audacter solemus mactare infortunio.
(Advocates) Hey you, although we seem to you plebeian and poor, if you speak unjustly to us, rich man from the highest place, we are accustomed boldly to afflict the rich man with misfortune.
§518nec tibi nos obnoxii istuc, quid tu ames aut oderis: §519quom argentum pro capite dedimus, nostrum dedimus, non tuom; §520liberos nos esse oportet.
Nor are we bound to you in that, what you love or what you hate: when we gave money for our head, we gave our own, not yours; we ought to be free men.
nos te nihili pendimus, §521ne tuo nos amori servos esse addictos censeas.
We value you at nothing, lest you think we have been assigned as slaves to your love.
§522liberos homines per urbem modico magis par est gradu §523ire, servile esse duco festinantem currere.
It is more fitting for free men to go through the city with a moderate step; I consider it to be slavish to run in a hurry.
Especially in a peaceful state of the people and with enemies slain, it is not fitting to make a fuss.
sed si properabas magis, §526pridie nos te advocatos huc duxisse oportuit.
But if you were hurrying more, you ought to have led us here as your advocates yesterday.
§527ne tu opinere, haud quisquam hodie nostrum curret per vias, §528neque nos populus pro cerritis insectabit lapidibus.
Lest you should expect it, not any of us today will run through the streets, nor will the people pursue us with stones as if we were madmen.
§529At si ad prandium me in aedem vos dixissem ducere, §530vinceretis cervom cursu vel gralatorem gradu; §531nunc vos quia mihi advocatos dixi et testis ducere, §532podagrosi estis ac vicistis cochleam tarditudine.
(Agorastocles) But if I had said that I was leading you to my house for lunch, you would surpass a stag in running or a stilt-walker in step; now because I said I was leading you as advocates and witnesses for me, you are gouty and have surpassed the snail in slowness.