§743verum ubi dies decem continuos sit, east odiorum Ilias: §744tam etsi dominus non invitus patitur, servi murmurant.
But when it is ten continuous days, that is an Iliad of hatreds: even if the master endures it not unwillingly, the servants murmur.
§745Serviendae servituti ego servos instruxi mihi, §746hospes, non qui mi imperarent quibusve ego essem obnoxius: §747si illis aegrest mihi quod volup est, meo remigio rem gero, §748tamen id quod odiost faciundumst cum malo atque ingratiis.
I trained servants for myself to serve a servitude, guest, not for them to command me or for me to be subject to them: if what is pleasant to me is painful to them, I steer my own course with my own oars; nevertheless, what is hateful must be done, accompanied by punishment and against their will.
§749nunc, quod occepi, opsonatum pergam.
Now, what I began, I shall proceed to market.
If you are resolved, shop moderately, not at great expense: anything is enough for me.
§751Quin tu istanc orationem hinc veterem atque antiquam amoves?
Why don't you banish that old and ancient speech of yours?
§752proletario sermone nunc quidem, hospes, utere; §753nam ei solent, quando accubuere, ubi cena adpositast, dicere: §754“quid opus fuit hoc, hospes, sumptu tanto nostra gratia?
At this rate, guest, use the speech of the common people; for they are accustomed, when they have reclined and dinner is served, to say: "What need was there, guest, for such a great expense on our account?
§755insanivisti hercle, nám idem hoc hominibus sat erat decem. ” §756quod eorum causa obsonatumst culpant et comedunt tamen.
By Hercules, you have gone mad, for this same thing was enough for ten men." What was shopped on their account they blame, and yet they eat it.
§757Fit pol íllud ad íllud exemplum.
By Pollux, that happens exactly according to that pattern.
ut docte et perspecte sapit.
How learnedly and insightfully he understands!
§758Sed eidem homines numquam dicunt, quamquam adpositumst ampliter: §759“iube illud demi; tolle hanc patinam; remove pernam, nil moror; §760aufer illam offam porcinam, probus hic conger frigidus, §761remove, abi aufer” neminem eorum haec adseverare audias, §762sed procellunt se et procumbunt dimidiati, dum appetunt.
But the very same men never say, although it is served abundantly: "Order that to be removed; take away this dish; remove the ham, I don't care for it; take away that piece of pork, this cold conger eel is excellent, remove it, go take it away" — you would hear none of them assert these things, but they stretch themselves out and fall forward, half-bent, while they snatch at it.
§763Bonus bene ut malos descripsit mores.
How well a good man has described bad manners!
I have not told a hundredth part, and, if there were leisure for the matter, I could bring forth more.
§765Igitur id quod agitur, † hic primum praeverti decet.
Therefore, it is fitting first to turn our attention to the matter at hand here.
§766nunc hoc animum advortite ambo. mihi opus est opera tua,
Now turn your minds to this, both of you.
§767Periplectomene; nám ego inveni lepidam sycophantiam, §768qui admutiletur miles usque caesariatus atque uti §769huic amanti ac Philocomasio hanc ecficiamus copiam, §770ut hic eam abducat habeatque.
I need your help, Periplectomenus; for I have devised a delightful trick, by which that long-haired soldier may be thoroughly shorn, and so that we may secure this opportunity for this lover and Philocomasium, so that he may lead her away and have her.
§770bDari istanc rationem volo.
I want that plan to be given.
§771At ego mi anulum dari istunc tuom volo.
But I want that ring of yours to be given to me.
§771bQuam ad rem usui est?
For what purpose is it of use?
§772Quando habebo, igitur rationem mearum fabricarum dabo.
When I have it, then I will give the account of my fabrications.
§773Vtere, accipe.
Use it, take it.
Receive from me in turn the plan of the trick which I have set on foot.
§774bPerpurigatis damus tibi ambo operam auribus.
We both give our attention to you with thoroughly cleansed ears.
My master is so great a seducer of women that I believe no one has been equally so, nor will be.
§776bCredo ego istuc idem.
I believe that very same thing.
§777Isque Alexandri praestare praedicat formae suam, §778itaque omnis se ultro sectari in Epheso memorat mulieres.
And he declares that his own beauty excels that of Alexander, and so he mentions that all the women in Ephesus chase after him of their own accord.
§779Edepol qui te de isto multi cupiunt † non mentirier, §780sed ego ita esse ut dicis teneo pulchre. proin, Palaestrio,
By Pollux, there are many who wish you were not lying about that, but I know beautifully that it is just as you say.
§781quam potis tam verba confer maxime ad compendium.
Therefore, Palaestrio, compress your words as much as possible to a brief summary.
§782Ecquam tu potes reperire forma lepida mulierem, §783cui facetiarum cor pectusque sit plenum et doli?
Can you find any woman of delightful beauty, whose heart and breast are full of wit and trickery?
§784Ingenuamne an libertinam?
Freeborn or a freedwoman?
§784bAequi istuc facio, dum modo §785eam des quae sit quaestuosa, quaé alat corpus corpore, §786cuique sapiat pectus; nam cor non potest, quod nulla habet.
I care equally about that, provided you provide one who is money-making, who nourishes her body by her body, and whose breast has sense; for a heart she cannot have, since she has none.
§787Lautam vis an quae nondum sit lauta?
Do you want an elegant one, or one who is not yet elegant?
Indeed, a juicy one, as delightful as possible and as young as possible.
§789Habeo eccillam meam clientam, meretricem adulescentulam.
Look, I have that client of mine, a young courtesan.
§790sed quid ea usus est?
But what is the use of her?
§790bVt ad te eam iam deducas domum §791itaque eam huc ornatam adducas, ex matronarum modo, §792capite compto, crinis vittasque habeat, adsimuletque se §793tuam esse uxorem: ita praecipiundum est.
That you may lead her to your house at once, and bring her here dressed up, in the manner of married women, with her hair combed, let her have ribbons on her hair, and let her pretend that she is your wife: thus she must be instructed.
§793bErro quam insistas viam.
I am lost as to what way you are embarking on.
§794At scietis.
But you both shall know.
séd ecquae ancillast illi?
But is there any maidservant for her?
§794bEst prime cata.
There is one, outstandingly clever.
§795Ea quoque opus est.
There is need of her too.
ita praecipito mulieri atque ancillulae, §796ut simulet se tuam esse uxorem et deperire hunc militem, §797quasique hunc anulum faveae suae dederit, ea porro mihi, §798militi ut darem, quasique ego ei rei sim interpres.
Instruct the woman and the little maidservant thus, that she pretend to be your wife and to be dying of love for this soldier, and as if she had given this ring to her maid, and she in turn to me, that I might give it to the soldier, and as if I were the intermediary in this matter.
ego recte meis §799aauribus utor
I use my ears rightly.