§626Hancine aetatem exercere mei me amoris gratia?
To trouble a man of this age for the sake of my love?
§627Quid ais tu? itane tibi ego videor oppido Acherunticus?
What are you saying? Do I seem to you so completely on the verge of the Underworld?
§628tam capularis, tamine tibi diu videor vitam vivere?
So ready for the coffin, do I seem to you to have lived too long?
§629nam équidem haud sum natus annos praeter quinquaginta et quattuor, §630clare oculis video, pernix sum manibus, pedibus mobilis.
For indeed I was not born more than fifty-four years ago; I see clearly with my eyes, I am swift with my hands, and agile with my feet.
§631Si albicapillus hic, videtur neutiquam ab ingenio senex.
Even if he is white-haired, he seems by no means an old man in his spirit.
§632inest in hoc emussitata sua sibi ingenua indoles.
In him there is his own noble nature, measured to a hair.
§633Pol id quidem éxperior ita esse ut praedicas, Palaestrio; §634nam benignitas quidem huius oppido adulescentula est.
By Pollux, Palaestrio, I indeed find it to be just as you declare; for indeed his kindness is completely youthful.
Nay, guest, the more you make trial of me, the more you will know my friendliness toward you, who love me.
§636bQuid opus nota noscere?
What need is there to get to know what is already known?
§637Vt apud te exemplum experiundi hábeas, ne quaeras foris; §638nam nisi qui ipse amavit, aegre amantis ingenium inspicit:
So that you may have an example of experiencing it with yourself, and not look outside; for unless one has loved himself, he inspects the character of a lover with difficulty.
§639_640et ego amoris aliquantum habeo umorisque etiam in corpore, §641neque dum exarui ex amoenis rebus et voluptariis.
And I myself have some amount of love and moisture still in my body, nor have I yet dried up from pleasant and delightful things.
§642vel cavillator facetus vel conviva commodus §643item eró, neque ego oblocutor sum alteri in convivio:
Whether as a witty jester or an agreeable fellow-guest I shall likewise be, nor am I one to speak against another at a banquet.
§644incommoditate abstinere me apud convivas commodo §645commemini et meae orationis iustam partem persequi §646et meam partem itidem tacere, quom aliena est oratio;
I remember to abstain from discourtesy among agreeable guests, and to pursue my own fair share of the conversation, and likewise to keep my share of silence when another's speech is going on.
§647minime sputator, screator sum, itidem minime mucidus:
I am by no means one to spit or hawk, and likewise by no means sniveling.
§648post Ephesi sum natus, non enim in Apulis; non sum Animulas.
After all, I was born at Ephesus, for I was not born among the Apulians; I am not from Animula.
§649O lepidum senem, in se si quas memorat virtutis habet,
Oh, what a charming old man, if indeed he has in himself those virtues he mentions!
§650atque equidem plane educatum in nutricatu Venerio.
And indeed he is clearly brought up under the nursing of Venus.
§651Plus dabo quam praedicabo ex me venustatis tibi.
I will show you more charm from myself than I shall boast of.
§652neque ego úmquam alienum scortum subigito in convivio, §653neque praeripio pulpamentum neque praevorto poculum, §654neque per vinum umquam ex me exoritur discidium in convivio:
Nor do I ever fondle another's mistress at a banquet, nor do I snatch the best morsel, nor do I seize the cup beforehand, nor does discord ever arise from me over wine at a banquet.
§655si quis ibi est odiosus, abeo domum, sermonem segrego; §656Venerem, amorem amoenitatemque accubans exerceo.
If anyone is offensive there, I go home, I sever my conversation; reclining, I practice Venus, love, and pleasantness.
§657Tu quidem edepol omnis moris ad venustatem † vacet; §658cedo tris mi hominis aurichalco contra cum istis moribus.
By Pollux, indeed you are fully suited to charm in all your manners; give me three men to match against brass with those manners of yours.
§659At quidem illúc aetatis qui sit non invenies alterum §660lepidiorem ad omnís res nec qui amicus amico sit magis.
But indeed you will not find another of that age more charming in all things, nor who is more a friend to a friend.
§661Tute me ut fateare faciam esse adulescentem moribus, §662ita apud omnis comparebo tibi res bene factis frequens.
I will make you confess yourself that I am a young man in my manners, so busy with good deeds shall I show myself to you in all matters.
§663opusne erit tibi advocato tristi, iracundo? ecce me;
Will you have need of a stern, angry advocate? Behold me.
§664opusne leni? leniorem dices quam mutum est mare, §665liquidiusculusque ero quam ventus est favonius.
Need of a gentle one? You will say I am gentler than the silent sea, and I shall be more liquid than the western wind.
§666vel hilarissimum convivam hinc indidem expromam tibi, §667pel primarium parasitum atque obsonatorem optumum;
Or I will produce for you from that same source a most jovial guest, or a first-rate parasite and the best caterer.
§668tum ad saltandum non cinaedus malacus aequest atque ego.
Then as for dancing, no soft dancer is as supple as I.
§669Quid ad illas artis optassis, si optio eveniat tibi?
What more could you wish for in addition to those skills, if a choice were given to you?
§670Huius pro méritis ut referri pariter possit gratia, §671tibique, quibus nunc me esse experior summae sollicitudini.
That gratitude may be returned equally for his merits, and to you, to whom I now find myself to be the greatest anxiety.
§672at tibi tanto sumptui esse mihi molestumst.
But it troubles me to be of such great expense to you.
§672bMorus es.
You are foolish.
§673nam in mala uxore atque inimico si quid sumas, sumptus est, §674in bono hospite atque amico quaestus est quod sumitur §675et quod in divinis rebus sumptumst, sapienti lucrumst.
For if you spend anything on a bad wife or an enemy, it is an 'expense'; but what is spent on a good guest and a friend is a 'gain', and what is spent on divine matters is a 'profit' to a wise man.
§676deum virtute est te unde hospitio accipiam apud me comiter:
By the virtue of the gods, I have the means to receive you hospitably and kindly at my house.
§677es, bibe, animo obsequere mecum atque onera te hilaritudine.
Eat, drink, indulge your soul with me, and load yourself with merriment.
§678liberae sunt aedis, liber sum autem ego: mei volo vivere.
The house is free, and I indeed am free; I wish to live as my own master.
§679nam mihi, deum virtute dicam, propter divitias meas §680licuit uxorem dotatam genere summo ducere; §681sed nolo mi oblatratricem in aedis intro mittere.
For to me, by the virtue of the gods I may say, on account of my riches, it was permitted to marry a dowered wife of the highest birth; but I do not wish to let a barking woman into my house.
§682Cur non vis? nam procreare liberos lepidumst onus.
Why do you not wish to? For begetting children is a charming burden.
§683Hercle vero liberum esse tete, id multo lepidiust.
By Hercules indeed, that you yourself are free of them, that is much more charming.
§684Tu homo et alteri sapienter potis es consulere et tibi.
You are a man able to advise wisely both another and yourself.
§685Nam bona uxor suave ductust, si sit usquam gentium
For a good wife is a sweet thing to marry, if she exists anywhere in the world.