§20Ὑπὸ γὰρ ἀσθενείας τῆς ἐν τοῖς χρησίμοις ἢ ἀγνοίας τῶν λεκτέων ἐπὶ τὰς τοιαύτας τῶν χωρίων καὶ ἄντρων ἐκφράσεις τρέπονται, καὶ ὁπόταν ἐς πολλὰ καὶ μεγάλα πράγματα ἐμπέσωσιν ἐοίκασιν οἰκέτῃ νεοπλούτῳ ἄρτι κληρονομήσαντι τοῦ δεσπότου, ὃς οὔτε τὴν ἐσθῆτα οἶδεν ὡς χρὴ περιβαλέσθαι οὔτε δειπνῆσαι κατὰ νόμον, ἀλλ’ ἐμπηδήσας, πολλάκις ὀρνίθων καὶ συείων καὶ λαγῴων προκειμένων, ὑπερεμπίπλαται ἔτνους τινὸς ἢ ταρίχους ἔστ' ἂν διαρραγῇ ἐσθίων.
For, through weakness in useful matters or ignorance of what should be said, they turn to such descriptions of places and caves, and whenever they fall into many and great events they resemble a newly rich slave who has just inherited from his master, who neither knows how he ought to put on his clothes nor how to dine according to custom, but having jumped in, though birds and pigs and hares are often set before him, stuffs himself with some soup or salt fish until he bursts as he eats.
οὗτος δ’ οὖν ὃν προεῖπον καὶ τραύματα συνέγραψεν πάνυ ἀπίθανα καὶ θανάτους ἀλλοκότους, ὡς εἰς δάκτυλον τοῦ ποδὸς τὸν μέγαν τρωθείς τις αὐτίκα ἐτελεύτησε, καὶ ὡς ἐμβοήσαντος μόνον Πρίσκου τοῦ στρατηγοῦ ἑπτὰ καὶ εἴκοσι τῶν πολεμίων ἐξέθανον.
This man, then, whom I mentioned before, also wrote of wounds that were utterly incredible and strange deaths, as that someone wounded in his big toe died immediately, and that when the general Priscus merely shouted, twenty-seven of the enemy died of fright.
ἔτι δὲ καὶ ἐν τῷ τῶν νεκρῶν ἀριθμῷ τοῦτο μὲν καὶ παρὰ τὰ γεγραμμένα ἐν ταῖς τῶν ἀρχόντων ἐπιστολαῖς ἐψεύσατο· ἐπὶ γὰρ Εὐρώπῳ τῶν μὲν πολεμίων ἀποθανεῖν μυριάδας ἑπτὰ καὶ τριάκοντα καὶ ἓξ πρὸς τοῖς διακοσίοις, Ῥωμαίων δὲ μόνους δύο καὶ τραυματίας γενέσθαι ἐννέα.
And further, in the number of the dead, he lied even contrary to what was written in the dispatches of the commanders: for he said that at Europus three hundred and seventy thousand and six of the enemy died, while of the Romans only two died and nine were wounded.
ταῦτα οὐκ οἶδα εἴ τις ἂν εὖ φρονῶν ἀνάσχοιτο.
I know not if any man in his right mind could tolerate these things.
§21Καὶ μὴν κἀκεῖνο λεκτέον οὐ μικρὸν ὄν· ὑπὸ γὰρ τοῦ κομιδῇ Ἀττικὸς εἶναι καὶ ἀποκεκαθάρθαι τὴν φωνὴν ἐς τὸ ἀκριβέστατον ἠξίωσεν οὗτος καὶ τὰ ὀνόματα μεταποιῆσαι τὰ Ῥωμαίων καὶ μεταγράψαι ἐς τὸ Ἑλληνικόν, ὡς Κρόνιον μὲν Σατουρνῖνον λέγειν, Φρόντιν δὲ τὸν Φρόντωνα, Τιτάνιον δὲ τὸν Τιτιανὸν καὶ ἄλλα πολλῷ γελοιότερα.
And indeed, that other point must be mentioned, which is not small: for by reason of being thoroughly Attic and having purified his speech to the greatest accuracy, this man thought it fit even to alter the names of the Romans and translate them into Greek, so as to call Saturninus Kronion, Fronto Phrontis, Titianus Titanion, and other things much more ridiculous.
ἔτι ὁ αὐτὸς οὗτος περὶ τῆς Σευηριανοῦ τελευτῆς ἔγραψεν ὡς οἱ μὲν ἄλλοι ἅπαντες ἐξηπάτηνται οἰόμενοι ξίφει τεθνάναι αὐτόν, ἀποθάνοι δὲ ὁ ἀνὴρ σιτίων ἀποσχόμενος· τοῦτον γὰρ αὐτῷ ἀλυπότατον δόξαι τὸν θάνατον, οὐκ εἰδὼς ὅτι τὸ μὲν πάθος ἐκεῖνο πᾶν τριῶν οἶμαι ἡμερῶν ἐγένετο, ἀπόσιτοι δὲ καὶ ἐς ἑβδόμην διαρκοῦσιν οἱ πολλοί—ἐκτὸς εἰ μὴ τοῦθ' ὑπολάβοι τις, ὡς Ὀσρόης εἱστήκει περιμένων, ἔστ' ἂν Σευηριανὸς λιμῷ ἀπόληται, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο οὐκ ἐπῆγε διὰ τῆς ἑβδόμης.
Moreover, this same man wrote concerning the death of Severianus that all others were deceived in thinking that he died by the sword, but that the man died by abstaining from food: for this death seemed to him the most painless, not knowing that all that suffering took place, I believe, in three days, while those without food usually last even to the seventh day—unless one were to suppose this, that Osroes stood waiting until Severianus should perish of hunger, and for this reason did not attack during the seven days.
§22Τοὺς δὲ καὶ ποιητικοῖς ὀνόμασιν, ὦ καλὲ Φίλων, ἐν ἱστορίᾳ χρωμένους, ποῦ δ’ ἄν τις θείη, τοὺς λέγοντας, “ἐλέλιξε μὲν ἡ μηχανή, τὸ τεῖχος δὲ πεσὸν μεγάλως ἐδούπησε,” καὶ πάλιν ἐν ἑτέρῳ μέρει τῆς καλῆς ἱστορίας, “Ἔδεσσα μὲν δὴ οὕτω τοῖς ὅπλοις περιεσμαραγεῖτο καὶ ὄτοβος ἦν καὶ κόναβος ἅπαντα ἐκεῖνα” καὶ “ὁ στρατηγὸς ἐμερμήριζεν ᾧ τρόπῳ μάλιστα προσαγάγοι πρὸς τὸ τεῖχος.
But those who use even poetic words in history, my dear Philon, where would one place them?
” εἶτα μεταξὺ οὕτως εὐτελῆ ὀνόματα καὶ δημοτικὰ καὶ πτωχικὰ πολλὰ παρενεβέβυστο—τό “ἐπέστειλεν ὁ στρατοπεδάρχης τῷ κυρίῳ,” καί “οἱ στρατιῶται ἠγόραζον τὰ ἐγχρῄζοντα” καί “ἤδη λελουμένοι περὶ αὐτοὺς ἐγίγνοντο” καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα· ὥστε τὸ πρᾶγμα ἐοικὸς εἶναι τραγῳδῷ τὸν ἕτερον μὲν πόδα ἐπ' ἐμβάτου ὑψηλοῦ ἐπιβεβηκότι, θάτερον δὲ σανδάλῳ ὑποδεδεμένῳ.
Those who say, "the engine quivered, and the wall falling crashed loudly," and again in another part of this beautiful history, "Edessa indeed was thus ringing with arms, and there was din and clatter in all those parts," and "the general pondered in what way he might best bring up to the wall." Then in between, many cheap, vulgar, and beggarly words had been stuffed in—such as "the camp commander wrote to his master," and "the soldiers were buying what they needed," and "they had already bathed and were about themselves," and such things; so that the business was like a tragic actor with one foot mounted on a high buskin, and the other shod in a sandal.
§23Καὶ μὴν καὶ ἄλλους ἴδοις ἂν τὰ μὲν προοίμια λαμπρὰ καὶ τραγικὰ καὶ εἰς ὑπερβολὴν μακρὰ συγγράφοντας, ὡς ἐλπίσαι θαυμαστὰ ἡλίκα τὰ μετὰ ταῦτα πάντως ἀκούσεσθαι, τὸ σῶμα δὲ αὐτὸ τὸ τῆς ἱστορίας μικρόν τι καὶ ἀγεννὲς ἐπαγαγόντας ὡς καὶ τοῦτο ἐοικέναι παιδίῳ, εἴ που Ἔρωτα εἶδες παίζοντα, προσωπεῖον Ἡρακλέους πάμμεγα ἢ Τιτᾶνος περικείμενον.
And indeed, you might see others writing prefaces that are brilliant, tragic, and excessively long, so as to make one hope to hear altogether wonderful things to follow, but bringing on the body of the history itself as something small and ignoble, so that this too resembles a child, if you have ever seen Cupid playing, wearing a huge mask of Heracles or a Titan.
εὐθὺς γοῦν οἱ ἀκούσαντες ἐπιφθέγγονται αὐτοῖς τό Ὤδινεν ὄρος. Χρὴ δὲ οἶμαι μὴ οὕτως, ἀλλ’ ὅμοια τὰ πάντα καὶ ὀμόχροα εἶναι καὶ συνᾷδον τῇ κεφαλῇ τὸ ἄλλο σῶμα, ὡς μὴ χρυσοῦν μὲν τὸ κράνος εἴη, θώραξ δὲ πάνυ γελοῖος ἐκ ῥακῶν ποθεν ἢ ἐκ δερμάτων σαπρῶν συγκεκαττυμένος καὶ ἡ ἀσπὶς οἰσυΐνη καὶ χοιρίνη περὶ ταῖς κνήμαις.
Immediately, at least, those who hear them shout at them: "The mountain was in labor." But I think it ought not to be so, but everything should be uniform and of the same color, and the rest of the body in harmony with the head, so that the helmet may not be of gold while the breastplate is utterly ridiculous, patched together from rags or rotten leather from somewhere, and the shield of wicker, and pigskin around the shins.
ἴδοις γὰρ ἂν ἀφθόνους τοιούτους συγγραφέας, τοῦ Ῥοδίων κολοσσοῦ τὴν κεφαλὴν νανώδει σώματι ἐπιτιθέντας· ἄλλους αὖ ἔμπαλιν ἀκέφαλα τὰ σώματα εἰσάγοντας—ἀπροοιμίαστα καὶ εὐθὺς ἐπὶ τῶν πραγμάτων·
For you may see plenty of such writers, putting the head of the Colossus of Rhodes on a dwarfish body; and others again, introducing bodies without heads—without prefaces, and immediately upon the facts.
οἳ καὶ προσεταιρίζονται τὸν Ξενοφῶντα οὕτως ἀρξάμενον, “Δαρείου καὶ Παρυσάτιδος παῖδες γίγνονται δύο,” καὶ ἄλλους τῶν παλαιῶν, οὐκ εἰδότες ὡς δυνάμει τινὰ προοίμιά ἐστι λεληθότα τοὺς πολλούς, ὡς ἐν ἄλλοις δείξομεν.
These even claim Xenophon as an ally, who began thus: "Of Darius and Parysatis are born two sons," and others of the ancients, not knowing that there are virtually prefaces which escape the notice of most people, as we shall show in other writings.