Humanitext Reader

Lucian · How to Write History §14-15

Examples of Incompetent Historians and Crude Imitation

Passage 5 of 15 · Greek

Summary

The author presents real-life examples of incompetent historians he recently heard in Ionia and Achaea. The first begins with an invocation to the Muses, engages in self-praise, and starts his history with absurd comparisons and insults. The second is an extreme and ridiculous imitator of Thucydides, copying sentences and events (like the plague) so blindly that they fit poorly, while mixing Latin words into his Attic prose.

§14Ἐγὼ δ’ οὖν καὶ διηγήσομαι ὁπόσα μέμνημαι ἔναγχος ἐν Ἰωνίᾳ συγγραφέων τινῶν, καὶ νὴ Δία ἐν Ἀχαΐᾳ πρῴην ἀκούσας τὸν αὐτὸν τοῦτον πόλεμον διηγουμένων.
But at any rate, I will recount as much as I remember, having recently heard some historians in Ionia, and indeed, by Zeus, lately in Achaea, recounting this same war.
καὶ πρὸς Χαρίτων μηδεὶς ἀπιστήσῃ τοῖς λεχθησομένοις· ὅτι γὰρ ἀληθῆ ἐστιν κἂν ἐπωμοσάμην, εἰ ἀστεῖον ἦν ὅρκον ἐντιθέναι συγγράμματι.
And by the Graces, let no one disbelieve what is about to be said; for I would even have sworn that it is true, if it were fitting to insert an oath in a historical work.
εἷς μέν τις αὐτῶν ἀπὸ Μουσῶν εὐθὺς ἤρξατο παρακαλῶν τὰς θεὰς συνεφάψασθαι τοῦ συγγράμματος.
One of them began immediately from the Muses, calling upon the goddesses to take part in the work.
ὁρᾷς ὡς ἐμμελὴς ἡ ἀρχὴ καὶ περὶ πόδα τῇ ἱστορίᾳ καὶ τῷ τοιούτῳ εἴδει τῶν λόγων πρέπουσα;
Do you see how harmonious the beginning is, and how it is fitting, step for step, to history and to this kind of discourse?
εἶτα μικρὸν ὑποβὰς Ἀχιλλεῖ μὲν τὸν ἡμέτερον ἄρχοντα εἴκαζε, Θερσίτῃ δὲ τὸν τῶν Περσῶν βασιλέα, οὐκ εἰδὼς ὅτι ὁ Ἀχιλλεὺς ἀμείνων ἦν αὐτῷ, εἰ Ἕκτορα μᾶλλον ἢ Θερσίτην καθῄρει, καὶ εἰ πρόσθε μὲν ἔφευγεν ἐσθλός τις, " ἐδίωκε δέ μιν μέγ' ἀμείνων. " εἶτ' ἐπῆγεν ὑπὲρ αὑτοῦ τι ἐγκώμιον, καὶ ὡς ἄξιος εἴη συγγράψαι τὰς πράξεις οὕτω λαμπρὰς οὔσας.
Then, going down a little, he compared our general to Achilles, and the king of the Persians to Thersites, not knowing that Achilles would have been better for him if he had slain Hector rather than Thersites, and if "the noble fled in front, and a far better man pursued him." Then he added some encomium of himself, and how worthy he was to write deeds that were so illustrious.
ἤδη δὲ κατιὼν ἐπῄνει καὶ τὴν πατρίδα τὴν Μίλητον, προστιθεὶς ὡς ἄμεινον ποιοῖ τοῦτο τοῦ Ὁμήρου μηδὲν μνησθέντος τῆς πατρίδος.
And already going further down, he praised also his native city, Miletus, adding that he did this better than Homer, who made no mention of his native city.
εἶτ' ἐπὶ τέλει τοῦ φροιμίου ὑπισχνεῖτο διαρρήδην καὶ σαφῶς, ἐπὶ μεῖζον μὲν αἴρειν τὰ ἡμέτερα, τοὺς βαρβάρους δὲ καταπολεμήσειν καὶ αὐτός, ὡς ἂν δύνηται.
Then, at the end of the preface, he promised explicitly and clearly that he would raise our affairs to a greater height, and that he himself would also, as far as he was able, fight the barbarians to the end.
καὶ ἤρξατό γε τῆς ἱστορίας οὕτως, αἴτια ἅμα τῆς τοῦ πολέμου ἀρχῆς διεξιών· “Ὁ γὰρ μιαρώτατος καὶ κάκιστα ἀπολούμενος Οὐολόγεσσος ἤρξατο πολεμεῖν δι’ αἰτίαν τοιάνδε. ” §15Οὗτος μὲν τοιαῦτα.
And indeed he began the history in this way, recounting at the same time the causes of the beginning of the war: "For Vologesus, the most abominable and destined to perish most miserably, began to make war for the following reason." This man, then, was of such a kind.
ἕτερος δὲ Θουκυδίδου ζηλωτὴς ἄκρος, οἷος εὖ μάλα τῷ ἀρχετύπῳ εἰκασμένος, καὶ τὴν ἀρχὴν ὡς ἐκεῖνος σὺν τῷ ἑαυτοῦ ὀνόματι ἤρξατο, χαριεστάτην ἀρχῶν ἁπασῶν καὶ θύμου τοῦ Ἀττικοῦ ἀποπνέουσαν.
But another was an extreme imitator of Thucydides, having been fashioned very well in likeness to the prototype, and he began his work, like him, with his own name—the most charming of all beginnings and breathing of Attic thyme.
ὅρα γάρ· “Κρεπέρῃος Καλπουρνιανὸς Πομπηϊουπολίτης συνέγραψε τὸν πόλεμον τῶν Παρθυαίων καὶ Ῥωμαίων, ὡς ἐπολέμησαν πρὸς ἀλλήλους, ἀρξάμενος εὐθὺς συνισταμένου. ” ὥστε μετά γε τοιαύτην ἀρχὴν τί ἄν σοι τὰ λοιπὰ λέγοιμι—ὁποῖα ἐν Ἀρμενίᾳ ἐδημηγόρησεν τὸν Κερκυραῖον αὐτὸν ῥήτορα παραστησάμενος, ἢ οἷον Νισιβηνοῖς λοιμὸν τοῖς μὴ τὰ Ῥωμαίων αἱρουμένοις ἐπήγαγεν παρὰ Θουκυδίδου χρησάμενος ὅλον ἄρδην πλὴν μόνου τοῦ Πελασγικοῦ καὶ τῶν τειχῶν τῶν μακρῶν, ἐν οἷς οἱ τότε λοιμώξαντες ᾤκησαν;
For look: "Crepereius Calpurnianus of Pompeiopolis wrote the war of the Parthians and Romans, how they warred against each other, beginning immediately as it was breaking out." So after such a beginning, why should I tell you the rest—what kind of speeches he delivered in Armenia, having set up the Corcyraean orator himself by his side, or what kind of plague he brought upon the citizens of Nisibis who did not choose the side of the Romans, borrowing it entirely from Thucydides, except only for the Pelasgicon and the long walls, in which those who were then plagued had lived?
τὰ δ’ ἄλλα καὶ ἀπὸ Αἰθιοπίας ἤρξατο, ὡς τότε, καὶ ἐς Αἴγυπτον κατέβη καὶ ἐς τὴν βασιλέως γῆν τὴν πολλήν, καὶ ἐν ἐκείνῃ γε ἔμεινεν εὖ ποιῶν.
In other respects, it began also from Ethiopia, as it did then, and went down into Egypt and into most of the King's land, and fortunately it remained there.
ἐγὼ γοῦν θάπτοντα ἔτι αὐτὸν καταλιπὼν τοὺς ἀθλίους Ἀθηναίους ἐν Νισίβι ἀπῆλθον ἀκριβῶς εἰδὼς καὶ ὅσα ἀπελθόντος ἐρεῖν ἔμελλεν.
At least I went away leaving him still burying the wretched Athenians in Nisibis, knowing accurately also how much he was going to say after my departure.
καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ τοῦτο ἐπιεικῶς πολὺ νῦν ἐστι, τὸ οἴεσθαι τοῦτ' εἶναι τοῖς Θουκυδίδου ἐοικότα λέγειν, εἰ ὀλίγον ἐντρέψας τὰ αὐτοῦ ἐκείνου λέγοι τις.
For indeed this is also very common now, to think that it is speaking like Thucydides if one should speak his very words, turning them slightly.
νὴ Δία κἀκεῖνο ὀλίγου δεῖν παρέλιπον· ὁ γὰρ αὐτὸς οὗτος συγγραφεὺς πολλὰ καὶ τῶν ὅπλων καὶ τῶν μηχανημάτων ὡς Ῥωμαῖοι αὐτὰ ὀνομάζουσιν οὕτως ἀνέγραψεν, καὶ τάφρον ὡς ἐκεῖνοι καὶ γέφυραν καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα.
Indeed, by Zeus, I almost left that other thing out: for this same historian wrote down many of the weapons and military engines just as the Romans name them, and a ditch as they do, and a bridge, and such things.
καί μοι ἐννόησον ἡλίκον τὸ ἀξίωμα τῆς ἱστορίας καὶ ὡς Θουκυδίδῃ πρέπον, μεταξὺ τῶν Ἀττικῶν ὀνομάτων τὰ Ἰταλιωτικὰ ταῦτα ἐγκεῖσθαι, ὥσπερ τὴν πορφύραν ἐπικοσμοῦντα καὶ ἐμπρέποντα καὶ πάντως συνᾴδοντα.
And consider for me how great is the dignity of the history, and how fitting for Thucydides, that these Italian words should be inserted in the midst of Attic words, as if adorning like purple, and standing out, and completely in harmony.

Notes

  1. 14ἀμείνων ἦν αὐτῷ — The main verb ἦν corresponds to the contrafactual condition clause (εἰ... καθῄρει 'if he had slain...'). It lacks the particle ἄν, which is common with adjectives in the comparative degree (ἀμείνων 'it would have been better/more fitting') that inherently express potentiality or propriety without needing explicit modal marking. The dative αὐτῷ refers to 'him' (our general/the Roman commander), indicating the suitability of Achilles as a foil for him.
  2. 14τοῦ Ὁμήρου μηδὲν μνησθέντος — This is a genitive of comparison (τοῦ Ὁμήρου) relative to the comparative ἄμεινον, accompanied by a circumstantial participle (μνησθέντος). It means 'than Homer, who made no mention [of his native city]'. The negative μηδέν instead of οὐδέν is used because the participle is presented under a generic, subjective, or conditional light in the mind of the boasting historian.
  3. 15ὅλον ἄρδην — The adverb ἄρδην ('utterly', 'from the roots') combined with the adjective ὅλον ('entire', 'whole') emphasizes the extreme nature of the plagiarism ('entirely lock, stock, and barrel'). It satirizes how the bad historian copied Thucydides' famous account of the plague (Book 2.47-54) in its entirety, changing almost nothing.
  4. 15εὐ Doing (εὖ ποιῶν) — The phrase εὖ ποιῶν, literally 'doing well', is used idiomatically here to mean 'fortunately', 'happily', or 'thankfully'. It expresses a sigh of relief (either as written by the historian, or mockingly by Lucian) that the plague conveniently remained in the Persian territories.

Cite this passage

Lucian, How to Write History §14-15. Humanitext Reader, https://reader.humanitext.ai/en/text/urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0062.tlg053.humanitext-grc3:14-15

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