§8ἦν μὲν ἡ τοῦ ἔτους ἀρχή, μᾶλλον δὲ ἡ ἀπὸ τῆς μεγάλης νουμηνίας τρίτη, ἐν ᾗ οἱ Ῥωμαῖοι κατά τι ἀρχαῖον εὔχονταί τε αὐτοὶ ὑπὲρ ἅπαντος τοῦ ἔτους εὐχάς τινας καὶ θύουσι, Νομᾶ τοῦ βασιλέως καταστησαμένου τὰς ἱερουργίας αὐτοῖς, καὶ πεπιστεύκασιν τοὺς θεοὺς ἐν ἐκείνῃ μάλιστα τῇ ἡμέρᾳ χρηματίζειν τοῖς εὐχομένοις.
It was the beginning of the year, or rather the third day after the great new moon, on which the Romans, according to an ancient custom, themselves offer certain prayers and sacrifice for the whole year, King Numa having established the sacred rites for them, and they believe that the gods on that day especially answer those who pray.
ἐν τοιαύτῃ τοίνυν ἑορτῇ καὶ ἱερομηνίᾳ ὁ τότε γελάσας ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ ἐκεῖνος ἐπὶ τῷ ὑποβολιμαίῳ Πυθαγόρᾳ ἰδὼν προσιόντα τὸν κατάπτυστον καὶ ἀλαζόνα, τὸν τῶν ἀλλοτρίων λόγων ὑποκριτήν (ἐτύγχανε δὲ καὶ τὸν τρόπον ἀκριβῶς εἰδὼς αὐτοῦ καὶ τὴν ἄλλην ἀσέλγειαν καὶ μιαρίαν τοῦ βίου καὶ ἃ ποιεῖν ἐλέγετο καὶ ἃ ποιῶν κατείληπτο)
Ὥρα ἡμῖν,
ἔφη πρός τινα τῶν ἑταίρων,
ἐκτρέπεσθαι τὸ δυσάντητον τοῦτο θέαμα, ὃς φανεὶς ἔοικε τὴν ἡδίστην ἡμέραν ἀποφράδα ἡμῖν ποιήσειν. Τοῦτʼ ἀκούσας ὁ σοφιστὴς τὴν ἀποφράδα ὥς τι ξένον καὶ ἀλλότριον τῶν Ἑλλήνων ὄνομα ἐγέλα εὐθὺς καὶ τὸν ἄνδρα τοῦ πάλαι ἐκείνου γέλωτος ἠμύνετο, ὡς γοῦν ᾤετο, καὶ πρὸς ἅπαντας ἔλεγεν,
ἀποφράς, τί δὲ τοῦτό ἐστι;
In such a festival and sacred season, that man who had then laughed in Olympia at the counterfeit Pythagoras, seeing the detestable and boastful man, the actor of others' speeches, approaching (and he happened to know his character precisely, and the other licentiousness and filthiness of his life, both what he was said to do and what he had been caught doing), "It is time for us," he said to one of his companions, "to turn away from this unpleasant sight, which by appearing seems likely to make the most pleasant day an ill-omened day (apophras) for us." Hearing this, the sophist immediately laughed at the word "apophras" as some strange name foreign to the Greeks, and avenged himself on the man for that old laughter, as he thought at least, and said to everyone, "Apophras, what is this?
καρπός τις ἢ βοτάνη τις ἢ σκεῦος;
Some fruit, or a herb, or a utensil?
ἆρα τῶν ἐσθιομένων ἢ πινομένων τί ἐστιν ἀποφράς;
Is apophras something among things eaten or drunk?
ἐγὼ μὲν οὔτε ἤκουσα πώποτε οὔτʼ ἂν συνείην ποτὲ ὅ τι καὶ λέγει. §9ταῦθʼ ὁ μὲν ᾤετο κατὰ τούτου διεξιέναι καὶ πολὺν ἐπῆγε τῇ ἀποφράδι τὸν γέλων· ἐλελήθει δὲ κατʼ αὐτοῦ τὸ ὕστατον τεκμήριον ἀπαιδευσίας ἐκφέρων.
I have never heard of it, nor could I ever understand what he even means." These things he thought he was reciting against him, and directed much laughter against the word "apophras"; but he was unaware that he was bringing forth against himself the ultimate proof of his lack of education.
ἐπὶ τούτῳ τὸν λόγον τόνδε συνέγραψεν ὁ ἐμὲ προεισπέμψας ὑμῖν, ὡς δείξειε τὸν ἀοίδιμον σοφιστὴν τὰ κοινὰ τῶν Ἑλλήνων ἀγνοοῦντα καὶ ὁπόσα κἂν οἱ ἐπὶ τῶν ἐργαστηρίων καὶ τῶν καπηλείων εἰδεῖεν.
For this reason, the one who sent me before you wrote this discourse, so that he might show that the famous sophist was ignorant of the common things of the Greeks, and such things as even those in the workshops and taverns would know.
§10ταῦτα μὲν ὁ Ἔλεγχος, ἐγὼ δέ — ἤδη γὰρ αὐτὸς παρείληφα τοῦ δράματος τὰ λοιπά — δίκαιος ἂν εἴην τὰ ἐκ τοῦ Δελφικοῦ τρίποδος ἤδη λέγειν, οἷα μέν σου τὰ ἐν τῇ πατρίδι, οἷα δὲ τὰ ἐν τῇ Παλαιστίνῃ, οἷα δὲ τὰ ἐν Αἰγύπτῳ, οἷα δὲ τὰ ἐν Φοινίκῃ καὶ Συρίᾳ, εἶτα ἑξῆς τὰ ἐν Ἑλλάδι καὶ Ἰταλίᾳ, καὶ ἐπὶ πᾶσι τὰ ἐν Ἐφέσῳ νῦν, ἅπερ κεφαλαιωδέστατα τῆς ἀπονοίας τῆς σῆς καὶ κορυφὴ καὶ κορωνὶς τοῦ τρόπου.
These things Elenchus said, but I—for I have now myself taken over the rest of the drama—would be justified in speaking now as if from the Delphic tripod, what sort of things yours were in your homeland, what in Palestine, what in Egypt, what in Phoenicia and Syria, then in order those in Greece and Italy, and above all those in Ephesus now, which are the most principal parts of your madness and the peak and crowning stroke of your character.
ἐπεὶ γὰρ κατὰ τὴν παροιμίαν Ἰλιεὺς ὢν τραγῳδοὺς ἐμισθώσω, καιρὸς ἤδη σοι ἀκούειν τὰ σαυτοῦ κακά.
For since, according to the proverb, being a Trojan (Ilieus) you hired tragic actors, it is now time for you to hear your own evils.
§11μᾶλλον δέ, ταῦτα μὲν μηδέπω, περὶ δὲ τῆς ἀποφράδος πρότερον.
Or rather, not yet these things, but about the "apophras" first.
εἰπὲ γάρ μοι, πρὸς πανδήμου καὶ Γενετυλλίδων καὶ Κυβήβης, πῇ σοι μεμπτὸν καὶ γέλωτος ἄξιον τοὔνομα εἶναι ἔδοξεν ἡ ἀποφράς;
For tell me, by the Goddess of All the People, and the Genetyllides, and Cybebe, in what way did the name "apophras" seem to you to be blameworthy and worthy of laughter?
νὴ Δίʼ, οὐ γὰρ ἦν τῶν Ἑλλήνων ἴδιον, ἀλλά ποθεν ἐπεισκωμάσαν αὐτοῖς ἀπὸ τῆς πρὸς Κελτοὺς ἢ Θρᾷκας ἢ Σκύθας ἐπιμιξίας, σὺ δὲ — ἅπαντα γὰρ οἶσθα τὰ τῶν Ἀθηναίων — ἐξέκλεισας τοῦτο εὐθὺς καὶ ἐξεκήρυξας τοῦ Ἑλληνικοῦ, καὶ ὁ γέλως ἐπὶ τούτῳ, ὅτι βαρβαρίζω καὶ ξενίζω καὶ ὑπερβαίνω τοὺς ὅρους τοὺς Ἀττικούς.
By Zeus, was it because it was not peculiar to the Greeks, but had slipped in among them from some intercourse with the Celts, Thracians, or Scythians, and you—for you know all the things of the Athenians—immediately excluded this and banished it from Greek, and the laughter was for this, that I speak barbarously and use foreign terms and transgress the Attic boundaries?
καὶ μὴν τί ἄλλο οὕτως Ἀθηναίοις ἐπιχώριον ὡς τουτὶ τοὔνομα, φαῖεν ἂν οἵ γε σοῦ μᾶλλον τὰ τοιαῦτα εἰδότες· ὥστε θᾶττον ἂν Ἐρεχθέα καὶ τὸν Κέκροπα ξένους ἀποφήναις καὶ ἐπήλυδας τῶν Ἀθηνῶν ἢ τὴν ἀποφράδα δείξειας οὐκ οἰκείαν καὶ αὐτόχθονα τῆς Ἀττικῆς.
And yet, what other word is so native to the Athenians as this very name, as those who know such things better than you would say; so that you would sooner prove Erechtheus and Cecrops to be strangers and immigrants of Athens than show that "apophras" is not native and indigenous to Attica.
§12πολλὰ μὲν γάρ ἐστιν ἃ καὶ αὐτοὶ κατὰ ταὐτὰ τοῖς πᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις ὀνομάζουσιν, ἀποφράδα δὲ μόνοι ἐκεῖνοι τὴν μιαρὰν καὶ ἀπευκτὴν καὶ ἀπαίσιον καὶ ἄπρακτον καὶ σοὶ ὁμοίαν ἡμέραν.
For there are many things which they themselves name in the same way as all men, but they alone call "apophras" the day that is filthy, abominable, ill-omened, unproductive, and like you.
ἰδού, καὶ μεμάθηκας ἤδη ὁδοῦ πάρεργον τί βούλεται αὐτοῖς ἡ ἀποφρὰς ἡμέρα.
Behold, you have already learned in passing what the "apophras day" means to them.
Ὅταν μήτε αἱ ἀρχαὶ χρηματίζωσι μήτε εἰσαγώγιμοι αἱ δίκαι ὦσι μήτε τὰ ἱερὰ ἱερουργῆται μήθʼ ὅλως τι τῶν αἰσίων τελῆται, αὕτη ἀποφρὰς ἡμέρα.
When neither the magistrates transact business, nor lawsuits are admissible, nor the sacred rites are performed, nor indeed anything of good omen is accomplished, this is an "apophras day."