§53ὀλίγους δὲ καὶ τῶν ἐμοὶ δοθέντων ἄκουσον·
And listen also to a few of those given to me.
ἐρομένου γάρ μου εἰ φαλακρός ἐστιν Ἀλέξανδρος, καὶ κατασημηναμένου περιέργως καὶ προφανῶς ὑπογράφεται χρησμὸς νυκτερήσιος,
"Σαβαρδαλαχου μαλαχααττηαλος ἦν. "
Καὶ πάλιν ἐμοῦ ἐρομένου ἐν δύο βιβλίοις διαφόροις τὴν αὐτὴν ἐρώτησιν, πόθεν ἦν Ὅμηρος ὁ ποιητής, ἐπʼ ἄλλου καὶ ἄλλου ὀνόματος, τῷ ἑτέρῳ μὲν ὑπέγραψεν ἐξαπατηθεὶς ὑπὸ τοῦ ἐμοῦ νεανίσκου — ἐρωτηθεὶς γὰρ ἐφʼ ὅ τι ἧκεν,
θεραπείας,
ἔφη,
αἰτήσων πρὸς ὀδύνην πλευροῦ
—
"Κυτμίδα χρίεσθαι κέλομαι δροσίην τε κέλητος· "
τῷ δὲ ἑτέρῳ, ἐπειδὴ καὶ τοῦτο ἠκηκόει ὡς ἐρομένου τοῦ πέμψαντος, εἴτε οἱ πλεῦσαι ἐπʼ Ἰταλίαν εἴτε πεζοπορῆσαι λῷον, ἀπεκρίνατο οὐδὲν πρὸς τὸν Ὅμηρον· "μὴ σύ γε πλωέμεναι, πεζὴν δὲ κατʼ οἶμον ὅδευε. " §54πολλὰ γὰρ τοιαῦτα καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπεμηχανησάμην αὐτῷ, οἷον καὶ ἐκεῖνο· μίαν ἐρώτησιν ἐρωτήσας ἐπέγραψα τῷ βιβλίῳ κατὰ τὸ ἔθος· τοῦ δεῖνος χρησμοὶ ὀκτώ,
ψευσάμενός τι ὄνομα, καὶ τὰς ὀκτὼ δραχμὰς καὶ τὸ γιγνόμενον ἔτι πρὸς ταύταις πέμψας·
For when I asked whether Alexander was bald, and sealed it up with excessive care and quite obviously, there was written underneath this night oracle: "Sabardalachou malachaattealos he was." And again, when I asked the same question in two different books, where the poet Homer was from, under different names, to the one he wrote underneath, having been deceived by my young servant—for when asked what he had come for, he said it was to ask for a cure for a pain in his side— "I command you to anoint yourself with cytmis and the dew of a courser." but to the other, since he had also heard that the sender was asking whether it was better for him to sail to Italy or to travel by land, he replied with nothing related to Homer: "Do not sail by any means, but travel by the path on foot." For I myself devised many such things against him, such as this: having asked a single question, I wrote on the book according to custom: "Eight oracles for so-and-so," having invented a false name, and having sent the eight drachmas and whatever else was due in addition to these.
ὁ δὲ πιστεύσας τῇ ἀποπομπῇ τοῦ μισθοῦ καὶ τῇ ἐπιγραφῇ τοῦ βιβλίου, πρὸς μίαν ἐρώτησιν — ἦν δὲ αὕτη· πότε ἁλώσεται μαγγανεύων Ἀλέξανδρος; — ὀκτώ μοι χρησμοὺς ἔπεμψεν, οὔτε γῆς φασιν οὔτε οὐρανοῦ ἁπτομένους, ἀνοήτους δὲ καὶ δυσνοήτους ἅπαντας.
But he, believing the sending of the fee and the inscription on the book, in response to the single question—which was this: When will Alexander be caught playing his tricks? —sent me eight oracles which, as the saying goes, touched neither earth nor heaven, but were all senseless and unintelligible.
ἅπερ ὕστερον αἰσθόμενος, καὶ ὅτι Ῥουτιλιανὸν ἐγὼ ἀπέτρεπον τοῦ γάμου καὶ τοῦ πάνυ προσκεῖσθαι ταῖς τοῦ χρηστηρίου ἐλπίσιν, ἐμίσει, ὡς τὸ εἰκός, καὶ ἔχθιστον ἡγεῖτο.
When he later realized this, and that I was country-advising Rutilianus against the marriage and from devoting himself entirely to the hopes of the oracle, he naturally hated me and regarded me as his worst enemy.
καί ποτε περὶ ἐμοῦ ἐρομένῳ τῷ Ῥουτιλιανῷ ἔφη· "Νυκτιπλάνοις ὀάροις χαίρει κοίταις τε δυσάγνοις. "
καὶ ὅλως ἔχθιστος εἰκότως ἦν ἐγώ.
And once, when Rutilianus asked about me, he said: "He delights in night-roaming chats and unholy beds." And altogether, I was naturally most hated by him.
§55κἀπειδὴ εἰσελθόντα με εἰς τὴν πόλιν ᾔσθετο καὶ ἔμαθεν ὡς ἐκεῖνος εἴην ὁ Λουκιανός — ἐπηγόμην δὲ καὶ στρατιώτας δύο, λογχοφόρον καὶ κοντοφόρον, παρὰ τοῦ ἡγουμένου τῆς Καππαδοκίας, φίλου τότε ὄντος, λαβών, ὥς με παραπέμψειαν μέχρι πρὸς τὴν θάλατταν — αὐτίκα μεταστέλλεται δεξιῶς πάνυ καὶ μετὰ πολλῆς φιλοφροσύνης.
And when he perceived that I had entered the city, and learned that I was that Lucian—for I was bringing along two soldiers, a lancer and a pikeman, whom I had obtained from the governor of Cappadocia, who was then my friend, to escort me as far as the sea—he immediately summoned me very tactfully and with much friendliness.
ἐλθὼν δὲ ἐγὼ πολλοὺς καταλαμβάνω περὶ αὐτόν· συνεπηγόμην δὲ καὶ τοὺς στρατιώτας τύχῃ τινὶ ἀγαθῇ.
When I arrived, I found many people around him; and by some good fortune, I had brought the soldiers along with me.
καὶ ὁ μὲν προὔτεινέ μοι κύσαι τὴν δεξιάν, ὥσπερ εἰώθει τοῖς πολλοῖς, ἐγὼ δὲ προσφὺς ὡς φιλήσων, δήγματι χρηστῷ πάνυ μικροῦ δεῖν χωλὴν αὐτῷ ἐποίησα τὴν χεῖρα.
And he held out his right hand for me to kiss, as was his custom with most people, but I, bending down as if to kiss it, with a very hearty bite almost made his hand lame.
οἱ μὲν οὖν παρόντες ἄγχειν με καὶ παίειν ἐπειρῶντο ὡς ἱερόσυλον, καὶ πρότερον ἔτι ἀγανακτήσαντες ὅτι Ἀλέξανδρον αὐτόν, ἀλλὰ μὴ προφήτην προσεῖπον· ὁ δὲ πάνυ γεννικῶς καρτερήσας κατέπαυέν τε αὐτοὺς καὶ ὑπισχνεῖτο τιθασόν με ῥᾳδίως ἀποφανεῖν καὶ δείξειν τὴν Γλύκωνος ἀρετήν, ὅτι καὶ τοὺς πάνυ τραχυνομένους φίλους ἀπεργάζεται.
The bystanders, therefore, tried to choke and beat me as a sacrilegious person, having already been angry even before this because I had addressed him as "Alexander" itself, and not as "prophet." But he, enduring it very noble-mindedly, quieted them down and promised that he would easily render me tame and would show the power of Glycon, in that he turns even those who are extremely harsh into friends.
καὶ μεταστησάμενος ἅπαντας ἐδικαιολογεῖτο πρός με, λέγων πάνυ με εἰδέναι καὶ τὰ ὑπʼ ἐμοῦ Ῥουτιλιανῷ συμβουλευόμενα, καὶ
τί παθὼν ταῦτά με εἰργάσω, δυνάμενος ὑπʼ ἐμοῦ ἐπὶ μέγα προαχθῆναι παρʼ αὐτῷ; κἀγὼ ἄσμενος ἤδη ἐδεχόμην τὴν φιλοφροσύνην ταύτην ὁρῶν οἷ κινδύνου καθειστήκειν, καὶ μετʼ ὀλίγον προῆλθον φίλος γεγενημένος.
And having dismissed everyone, he argued his case with me, saying that he knew me very well and also the advice I had given to Rutilianus, and said: "What possessed you to do these things to me, when you could have been greatly advanced by me in his estimation?" And I, seeing what a dangerous position I was in, gladly accepted this friendliness now, and after a little while I went out having become his friend.
καὶ τοῦτο οὐ μικρὸν θαῦμα τοῖς ὁρῶσιν ἔδοξεν, οὕτω ῥᾳδία γενομένη μου ἡ μεταβολή.
And this seemed no small wonder to those who saw it, my change of attitude having been so easy.
§56εἶτα δή μου ἐκπλεῖν προαιρουμένου ξένια καὶ δῶρα πολλὰ πέμψας — μόνος δὲ σὺν τῷ Ξενοφῶντι ἔτυχον ἐπιδημῶν, τὸν πατέρα καὶ τοὺς ἐμοὺς εἰς Ἄμαστριν προεκπεπομφώς — ὑπισχνεῖται καὶ πλοῖον αὐτὸς παρέξειν καὶ ἐρέτας τοὺς ἀπάξοντας.
Then, when I decided to sail away, having sent me many guest-gifts and presents—and I happened to be staying there only with Xenophon, having already sent my father and my family on ahead to Amastris—he promised that he himself would provide a boat and rowers to take us away.
κἀγὼ μὲν ᾤμην ἁπλοῦν τι τοῦτο εἶναι καὶ δεξιόν· ἐπεὶ δὲ κατὰ μέσον τὸν πόρον ἐγενόμην, δακρύοντα ὁρῶν τὸν κυβερνήτην καὶ τοῖς ναύταις τι ἀντιλέγοντα οὐκ ἀγαθὰς εἶχον περὶ τῶν μελλόντων ἐλπίδας.
And I, for my part, thought this was something simple and kind; but when I got to the middle of the passage, seeing the captain weeping and arguing with the sailors about something, I did not have good hopes about the future.
ἦν δὲ αὐτοῖς ἐπεσταλμένον ὑπὸ τοῦ Ἀλεξάνδρου ἀραμένους ῥῖψαι ἡμᾶς εἰς τὴν θάλασσαν· ὅπερ εἰ ἐγένετο, ῥᾳδίως ἂν αὐτῷ διεπεπολέμητο τὰ πρὸς ἐμέ.
For they had been instructed by Alexander to pick us up and throw us into the sea; if this had happened, his war against me would have been easily finished.
ἀλλὰ δακρύων ἐκεῖνος ἔπεισεν καὶ τοὺς συνναύτας μηδὲν ἡμᾶς δεινὸν ἐργάσασθαι, καὶ πρὸς ἐμὲ ἔφη,
ἔτη ἑξήκοντα, ὡς ὁρᾷς, ἀνεπίληπτον βίον καὶ ὅσιον προβεβηκὼς οὐκ ἂν βουλοίμην, ἐν τούτῳ τῆς ἡλικίας καὶ γυναῖκα καὶ τέκνα ἔχων, μιᾶναι φόνῳ τὰς χεῖρας,
δηλῶν ἐφʼ ὅπερ ἡμᾶς ἀνειλήφει, καὶ τὰ ὑπὸ τοῦ Ἀλεξάνδρου προστεταγμένα.
But he, weeping, persuaded his fellow sailors also to do nothing terrible to us, and said to me: "Having lived, as you see, for sixty years an blameless and holy life, I would not wish, at this stage of my age, and having a wife and children, to defile my hands with murder," making clear the purpose for which he had taken us on board, and the orders given by Alexander.