§26σὺ δʼ ἄθλιος τὰ μὲν παραδραμών, τὰ δὲ βάδην ἄναντα πολλὰ καὶ κάταντα — τοιαύτη γάρ, ὡς οἶσθα, ἡ πόλις — περιελθὼν ἵδρωκάς τε καὶ πνευστιᾷς, κἀκείνου ἔνδον τινὶ τῶν φίλων πρὸς ὃν ἦλθεν διαλεγομένου, μηδὲ ὅπου καθίζῃς ἔχων ὀρθὸς ὑπʼ ἀπορίας ἀναγιγνώσκεις τὸ βιβλίον προχειρισάμενος.
But you, miserable man, having run past some places, and walked through others, up hill and down dale—for such, as you know, is the city—having gone around, are perspiring and panting, and while he is inside talking to one of the friends whom he went to visit, having not even a place to sit down, you stand upright in helplessness, and having taken out your book, you read.
ἐπειδὰν δὲ ἄσιτόν τε καὶ ἄποτον ἡ νὺξ καταλάβῃ, λουσάμενος πονηρῶς ἀωρὶ περὶ αὐτό που σχεδὸν τὸ μεσονύκτιον ἥκεις ἐπὶ τὸ δεῖπνον, οὐκέθʼ ὁμοίως ἔντιμος οὐδὲ περίβλεπτος τοῖς παροῦσιν, ἀλλʼ ἤν τις ἄλλος ἐπεισέλθῃ νεαλέστερος, εἰς τοὐπίσω σύ· καὶ οὕτως εἰς τὴν ἀτιμοτάτην γωνίαν ἐξωσθεὶς κατάκεισαι μάρτυς μόνον τῶν παραφερομένων, τὰ ὀστᾶ, εἰ ἐφίκοιτο μέχρι σοῦ, καθάπερ οἱ κύνες περιεσθίων ἢ τὸ σκληρὸν τῆς μαλάχης φύλλον ᾧ τὰ ἄλλα συνειλοῦσιν, εἰ ὑπεροφθείη ὑπὸ τῶν προκατακειμένων, ἄσμενος ὑπὸ λιμοῦ παροψώμενος.
And when night overtakes you, still without food and drink, having bathed wretchedly at a late hour, just about midnight, you come to the dinner, no longer respected in the same way nor looked upon by those present, but if some other newer guest enters, you are pushed to the rear; and thus, thrust out into the most dishonorable corner, you lie there merely as a witness of what is served, gnawing around the bones like dogs if they should reach as far as you, or if overlooked by those reclining above you, glad to eat the tough leaf of the mallow with which they wrap other things, as a relish out of hunger.
Οὐ μὴν οὐδὲ ἡ ἄλλη ὕβρις ἄπεστιν, ἀλλʼ οὔτε ᾠὸν ἔχεις μόνος — οὐ γὰρ ἀναγκαῖόν ἐστιν καὶ σὲ τῶν αὐτῶν ἀεὶ τοῖς ξένοις καὶ ἀγνώστοις ἀντιποιεῖσθαι· ἀγνωμοσύνη γὰρ δὴ τοῦτό γε — οὔτε ἡ ὄρνις ὁμοία ταῖς ἄλλαις, ἀλλὰ τῷ μὲν πλησίον παχεῖα καὶ πιμελής, σοὶ δὲ νεοττὸς ἡμίτομος ἢ φάττα τις ὑπόσκληρος, ὕβρις ἄντικρυς καὶ ἀτιμία.
Indeed, neither is the other insult absent, but neither do you alone have an egg—for it is not necessary that you too should always lay claim to the same things as the strangers and unknown guests; for this indeed would be thoughtlessness—nor is your bird the same as the others, but while to your neighbor it is plump and fat, to you it is a half-cut chick or some rather tough wild pigeon, a downright insult and dishonor.
πολλάκις δʼ εἰ ἐπιλίποι ἄλλου τινὸς αἰφνιδίως ἐπιπαρόντος, ἀράμενος ὁ διάκονος τὰ σοὶ παρακείμενα φέρων ἐκείνῳ παρατέθεικεν ὑποτονθορύσας,
σὺ γὰρ ἡμέτερος εἶ. τεμνομένου μὲν γὰρ ἐν τῷ μέσῳ ἢ συὸς ὑπογαστρίου ἢ ἐλάφου, χρὴ ἐκ παντὸς ἢ τὸν διανέμοντα ἵλεων ἔχειν ἢ τὴν Προμηθέως μερίδα φέρεσθαι, ὀστᾶ κεκαλυμμένα τῇ πιμελῇ.
And often, if something should run short upon some other guest's sudden arrival, the servant, lifting what is set before you, carries it off and places it before him, muttering under his breath, "For you are one of our own." For when a pig's belly or a venison is carved in the middle, you must by all means either have the carver gracious to you or carry off "Prometheus' share," bones covered with fat.
τὸ γὰρ τῷ μὲν ὑπὲρ σὲ τὴν λοπάδα παρεστάναι ἔστʼ ἂν ἀπαγορεύσῃ ἐμφορούμενος, σὲ δὲ οὕτω ταχέως παραδραμεῖν, τίνι φορητὸν ἐλευθέρῳ ἀνδρὶ κἂν ὁπόσην αἱ ἔλαφοι τὴν χολὴν ἔχοντι;
For to have the dish stand before the one above you until he gives up eating to his fill, while it runs past you so quickly, who is a free man that could bear this, even if he had only as much gall as stags have?
καίτοι οὐδέπω ἐκεῖνο ἔφην, ὅτι τῶν ἄλλων ἥδιστόν τε καὶ παλαιότατον οἶνον πινόντων μόνος σὺ πονηρόν τινα καὶ παχὺν πίνεις, θεραπεύων ἀεὶ ἐν ἀργύρῳ ἢ χρυσῷ πίνειν, ὡς μὴ ἐλεγχθείης ἀπὸ τοῦ χρώματος οὕτως ἄτιμος ὢν συμπότης.
And yet I have not even said this, that while others drink the most delicious and oldest wine, you alone drink some bad and thick wine, always being careful to drink from silver or gold, so that you might not be exposed by the color as being such a dishonored drinking companion.
καὶ εἴθε γε κἂν ἐκείνου εἰς κόρον ἦν πιεῖν, νῦν δὲ πολλάκις αἰτήσαντος ὁ παῖς
οὐδʼ ἀΐοντι ἔοικεν.
And would that it were possible to drink even of that to satiety, but now, though you ask many times, the boy seems not even to hear.
§27ἀνιᾷ δή σε πολλὰ καὶ ἀθρόα καὶ σχεδὸν τὰ πάντα, καὶ μάλιστα ὅταν σε παρευδοκιμῇ κίναιδός τις ἢ ὀρχηστοδιδάσκαλος ἢ Ἰωνικὰ συνείρων Ἀλεξανδρεωτικὸς ἀνθρωπίσκος.
Indeed, many things trouble you, all at once, and almost everything, and especially when some catamite or dancing master or some little Alexandrian fellow stringing together Ionic songs surpasses you in reputation.
τοῖς μὲν γὰρ τὰ ἐρωτικὰ ταῦτα διακονουμένοις καὶ γραμματίδια ὑπὸ κόλπου διακομίζουσιν πόθεν σύ γʼ ἰσότιμος;
For with those who minister to these love affairs and carry love letters under their bosoms, how indeed can you be equal in honor?
κατακείμενος τοιγαροῦν ἐν μυχῷ τοῦ συμποσίου καὶ ὑπʼ αἰδοῦς καταδεδυκὼς στένεις ὡς τὸ εἰκὸς καὶ σεαυτὸν οἰκτείρεις καὶ αἰτιᾷ τὴν Τύχην οὐδὲ ὀλίγα σοι τῶν χαρίτων ἐπιψεκάσασαν.
Reclining, therefore, in the innermost recess of the banquet and shrinking down out of shame, you groan as is natural, and pity yourself, and blame Fortune, who has not sprinkled even a little of the Graces upon you.
ἡδέως δʼ ἄν μοι δοκεῖς καὶ ποιητὴς γενέσθαι τῶν ἐρωτικῶν ᾀσμάτων ἢ κἂν ἄλλου ποιήσαντος δύνασθαι ᾄδειν ἀξίως· ὁρᾷς γὰρ οἷ τὸ προτιμᾶσθαι καὶ εὐδοκιμεῖν ἐστιν.
And you seem to me that you would gladly even become a poet of love songs, or at least be able to sing worthily what another has composed; for you see where being preferred and well esteemed lies.
ὑποσταίης δὲ ἄν, εἰ καὶ μάγον ἢ μάντιν ὑποκρίνασθαι δέοι τῶν κλήρους πολυταλάντους καὶ ἀρχὰς καὶ ἀθρόους τοὺς πλούτους ὑπισχνουμένων· καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ τούτους ὁρᾷς εὖ φερομένους ἐν ταῖς φιλίαις καὶ πολλῶν ἀξιουμένους.
And you would undertake it, even if it were necessary to play the part of a sorcerer or a prophet among those who promise many-talented inheritances and offices and heaps of wealth; for indeed, you see these men too getting on well in friendships and being valued highly.
κἂν ἕν τι οὖν τούτων ἡδέως ἂν γένοιο, ὡς μὴ ἀπόβλητος καὶ περιττὸς εἴης· ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ πρὸς ταῦτα ὁ κακοδαίμων πιθανὸς εἶ.
And if you could become even some one of these things, you would gladly do so, so that you might not be cast out and superfluous; but you, unhappy man, are not persuasive even for these.
τοιγαροῦν ἀνάγκη μειοῦσθαι καὶ σιωπῇ ἀνέχεσθαι ὑποιμώζοντα καὶ ἀμελούμενον.
Therefore, you must be reduced and endure in silence, whimpering and neglected.