§57Σίμων
ἀλλὰ νὴ Δία ὁ μὲν βίος τοῦ παρασίτου κρείττων ἐστὶν τοῦ τῶν ῥητόρων καὶ τῶν φιλοσόφων, ὁ δὲ θάνατος φαυλότερος;
Simon But, by Zeus, is the life of the parasite better than that of the rhetoricians and philosophers, but his death worse?
πάνυ μὲν οὖν τοὐναντίον παρὰ πολὺ εὐδαιμονέστερος.
Quite the contrary, it is by far happier.
φιλοσόφους μὲν γὰρ ἴσμεν ἅπαντας ἢ τοὺς πλείστους κακοὺς κακῶς ἀποθανόντας, τοὺς μὲν ἐκ καταδίκης, ἑαλωκότας ἐπὶ τοῖς μεγίστοις ἀδικήμασι, φαρμάκῳ, τοὺς δὲ καταπρησθέντας τὸ σῶμα ἅπαν, τοὺς δὲ ἀπὸ δυσουρίας φθινήσαντας, τοὺς δὲ φυγόντας.
For we know that all or most philosophers died a wretched death miserably, some by condemnation, having been convicted of the greatest crimes, by poison, others with their whole body burned, others wasting away from dysuria, and others in exile.
παρασίτου δὲ θάνατον οὐδεὶς ἔχει τοιοῦτον εἰπεῖν, ἀλλὰ τὸν εὐδαιμονέστατον φαγόντος καὶ πιόντος.
But no one can mention such a death of a parasite, but rather the happiest death of one eating and drinking.
εἰ δέ τις καὶ δοκεῖ βιαίῳ τετελευτηκέναι θανάτῳ, ἀπεπτήσας ἀπέθανεν.
And even if anyone seems to have ended by a violent death, he died of indigestion.
§58Τυχιάδης
ταῦτα μὲν ἱκανῶς διημίλληταί σοι τὰ πρὸς τοὺς φιλοσόφους ὑπὲρ τοῦ παρασίτου.
Tychiades These points have been sufficiently argued by you against the philosophers on behalf of the parasite.
λοιπὸν δὲ εἰ καλὸν καὶ λυσιτελές ἐστιν τὸ κτῆμα τοῦτο τῷ τρέφοντι, πειρῶ λέγειν· ἐμοὶ μὲν γὰρ δοκοῦσιν ὥσπερ εὐεργετοῦντες καὶ χαριζόμενοι τρέφειν αὐτοὺς οἱ πλούσιοι, καὶ εἶναι τοῦτο αἰσχύνην τῷ τρεφομένῳ.
But for the rest, try to explain whether this possession is honorable and advantageous to the host; for to me, the rich seem to feed them as if conferring a benefit and doing a favor, and this seems to be a shame to the one fed.
Σίμων
ὡς ἠλίθιά γε σου, ὦ Τυχιάδη, ταῦτα, εἰ μὴ δύνασαι γινώσκειν ὅτι πλούσιος ἀνήρ, εἰ καὶ τὸ Γύγου χρυσίον ἔχοι, μόνος ἐσθίων πένης ἐστὶν καὶ προϊὼν ἄνευ παρασίτου πτωχὸς δοκεῖ, καὶ ὥσπερ στρατιώτης χωρὶς ὅπλων ἀτιμότερος καὶ ἐσθὴς ἄνευ πορφύρας καὶ ἵππος ἄνευ φαλάρων, οὕτω καὶ πλούσιος ἄνευ παρασίτου ταπεινός τις καὶ εὐτελὴς φαίνεται.
Simon How foolish these ideas of yours are, Tychiades, if you cannot understand that a rich man, even if he should possess the gold of Gyges, is poor if he eats alone, and appears a beggar when going out without a parasite; and just as a soldier without weapons is more dishonorable, and a garment without purple, and a horse without trappings, so also a rich man without a parasite appears lowly and worthless.
καὶ μὴν ὁ μὲν πλούσιος κοσμεῖται ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ, τὸν δὲ παράσιτον πλούσιος οὐδέποτε κοσμεῖ.
Indeed, the rich man is adorned by him, but the rich man never adorns the parasite.
§59Σίμων
ἄλλως τε οὐδὲ ὄνειδος αὐτῷ ἐστιν, ὡς σὺ φής, τὸ παρασιτεῖν ἐκείνῳ, δῆλον ὅτι ὥς τινι κρείττονι χείρονα, ὅπου γε μὴν τῷ πλουσίῳ τοῦτο λυσιτελές ἐστιν, τὸ τρέφειν τὸν παράσιτον, ᾧ γε μετὰ τοῦ κοσμεῖσθαι ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ καὶ ἀσφάλεια πολλὴ ἐκ τῆς τούτου δορυφορίας ὑπάρχει·
Simon Moreover, as you say, it is not a reproach to him to act as a parasite to that man—clearly as an inferior to a superior—since indeed this is advantageous to the rich man, namely, to feed the parasite, for whom, in addition to being adorned by him, great safety also arises from his bodyguard duties.
οὔτε γὰρ μάχῃ ῥᾳδίως ἄν τις ἐπιχειρήσαι τῷ πλουσίῳ τοῦτον ὁρῶν παρεστῶτα, ἀλλʼ οὐδʼ ἂν ἀποθάνοι φαρμάκῳ οὐδεὶς ἔχων παράσιτον.
For neither would anyone easily dare to attack the rich man in battle upon seeing this man standing by his side, nor would anyone possessing a parasite die of poison.
τίς γὰρ ἂν τολμήσειεν ἐπιβουλεῦσαί τινι τούτου προεσθίοντος καὶ προπίνοντος;
For who would dare to plot against someone when this man tastes the food and drink beforehand?
ὥστε ὁ πλούσιος οὐχὶ κοσμεῖται μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἐκ τῶν μεγίστων κινδύνων ὑπὸ τοῦ παρασίτου σώζεται.
So the rich man is not only adorned, but also saved from the greatest dangers by the parasite.
οὕτω μὲν ὁ παράσιτος διὰ φιλοστοργίαν πάντα κίνδυνον ὑπομένει, καὶ οὐκ ἂν παραχωρήσειεν τῷ πλουσίῳ φαγεῖν μόνῳ, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀποθανεῖν αἱρεῖται συμφαγών.
Thus, the parasite, through affection, undergoes every danger, and would not allow the rich man to eat alone, but even chooses to die eating together.
§60Τυχιάδης
πάντα μοι δοκεῖς, ὦ Σίμων, διεξελθεῖν ὑστερήσας οὐδὲν τῆς σεαυτοῦ τέχνης, οὐχ ὥσπερ αὐτὸς ἔφασκες, ἀμελέτητος ὤν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ἄν τις ὑπὸ τῶν μεγίστων γεγυμνασμένος.
Tychiades You seem to me, Simon, to have gone through everything, falling short in nothing of your own art, not, as you yourself were saying, being unpracticed, but like one trained by the greatest masters.
λοιπόν, εἰ μὴ αἴσχιον αὐτὸ τὸ ὄνομά ἐστι τῆς παρασιτικῆς, θέλω μαθεῖν.
For the rest, I wish to learn whether the name itself of the 'parasitic' art is not rather shameful.
Σίμων
ὅρα δὴ τὴν ἀπόκρισιν, ἐάν σοι ἱκανῶς λέγεσθαι δοκῇ, καὶ πειρῶ πάλιν αὐτὸς ἀποκρίνασθαι πρὸς τὸ ἐρωτώμενον ᾗ ἄριστα οἴει.
Simon Observe then the answer, to see if it seems to you to be sufficiently stated, and try in turn yourself to answer the question as you think best.
φέρε γάρ, τὸν σῖτον οἱ παλαιοὶ τί καλοῦσι;
Tell me, what do the ancients call food?
Τυχιάδης
τροφήν.
Tychiades Nourishment.
Σίμων
τί δὲ τὸ σιτεῖσθαι, οὐχὶ τὸ ἐσθίειν;
Simon And what is to take food? Is it not to eat?
Τυχιάδης
ναί.
Tychiades Yes.
Σίμων
οὐκοῦν καθωμολόγηται τὸ παρασιτεῖν ὅτι οὐκ ἄλλο ἐστίν;
Simon Therefore is it not agreed that to act as a parasite is nothing other than this?
Τυχιάδης
τοῦτο γάρ, ὦ Σίμων, ἐστὶν ὃ αἰσχρὸν φαίνεται.
Tychiades For this very thing, Simon, is what seems shameful.
§61Σίμων
φέρε δὴ πάλιν ἀπόκριναί μοι, πότερόν σοι δοκεῖ διαφέρειν, καὶ προκειμένων ἀμφοῖν πότερον ἂν αὐτὸς ἕλοιο, ἆρά γε τὸ πλεῖν ἢ τὸ παραπλεῖν;
Simon Come now, answer me again: do you think they differ, and if both were proposed, which would you yourself choose, sailing or sailing along the coast?
Τυχιάδης
τὸ παραπλεῖν ἔγωγε.
Tychiades Sailing along, for my part.
Σίμων
τί δέ, τὸ τρέχειν ἢ τὸ παρατρέχειν;
Simon And what about running or running alongside?
Τυχιάδης
Τὸ παρατρέχειν.
Tychiades Running alongside.
Σίμων
τί δέ, τὸ ἱππεύειν ἢ τὸ παριππεύειν;
Simon And what about riding or riding alongside?
Τυχιάδης
τὸ παριππεύειν.
Tychiades Riding alongside.
Σίμων
τί δέ, τὸ ἀκοντίζειν ἢ τὸ παρακοντίζειν;
Simon And what about throwing a javelin or throwing close to the mark?
Τυχιάδης
τὸ παρακοντίζειν.
Tychiades Throwing close to the mark.
Σίμων
οὐκοῦν ὁμοίως ἂν ἕλοιο καὶ τοῦ ἐσθίειν μᾶλλον τὸ παρασιτεῖν;
Simon Therefore, would you not likewise choose to act as a parasite rather than eating?
Τυχιάδης
ὁμολογεῖν ἀνάγκη.
Tychiades I must agree.
καί σοι λοιπὸν ὥσπερ οἱ παῖδες ἀφίξομαι καὶ ἑῷος καὶ μετʼ ἄριστον μαθησόμενος τὴν τέχνην.
And for the rest, I will come to you like children, both at dawn and after lunch, in order to learn the art.
σὺ δέ με αὐτὴν δίκαιος διδάσκειν ἀφθόνως, ἐπεὶ καὶ πρῶτος μαθητής σοι γίγνομαι.
And you ought to teach it to me ungrudgingly, since indeed I am becoming your first student.
φασὶ δὲ καὶ τὰς μητέρας μᾶλλον τὰ πρῶτα φιλεῖν τῶν τέκνων.
And they say that mothers also love the first of their children more.