§39Τυχιάδης
ἱκανῶς ταῦτά γε.
Tychiades These things are adequate indeed.
ὅτι δὲ κατὰ τἄλλα διαφέρει φιλοσοφίας καὶ ῥητορικῆς ἡ παρασιτικὴ πῶς ἐπιδεικνύεις;
But how do you show that in other respects the art of being a parasite is superior to philosophy and rhetoric?
Σίμων
εἰσίν, ὦ βέλτιστε, καιροὶ τοῦ τῶν ἀνθρώπων βίου, ὁ μέν τις εἰρήνης, οἶμαι, ὁ δʼ αὖ πολέμου.
Simon My good friend, there are seasons in the life of men, one of peace, I suppose, and another of war.
ἐν δὴ τούτοις πᾶσα ἀνάγκη φανερὰς γίγνεσθαι τὰς τέχνας καὶ τοὺς ἔχοντας ταύτας ὁποῖοί τινές εἰσιν.
In these, indeed, it is absolutely necessary that the arts and those who possess them become manifest as to what kind they are.
πρότερον δέ, εἰ δοκεῖ, σκοπώμεθα τὸν τοῦ πολέμου καιρόν, καὶ τίνες ἂν εἶεν μάλιστα χρησιμώτατοι ἰδίᾳ τε ἕκαστος αὐτῷ καὶ κοινῇ τῇ πόλει.
But first, if it seems good, let us examine the season of war, and who would be most useful both to each one individually and to the city in common.
Τυχιάδης
ὡς οὐ μέτριον ἀγῶνα καταγγέλλεις τῶν ἀνδρῶν·
Tychiades What a no ordinary contest of the men you proclaim!
καὶ ἔγωγε πάλαι γελῶ κατʼ ἐμαυτὸν ἐννοῶν ποῖος ἂν εἴη συμβαλλόμενος παρασίτῳ φιλόσοφος.
And indeed I have been laughing to myself for a long time, imagining what a philosopher would be like when matched with a parasite.
§40Σίμων
ἵνα τοίνυν μὴ πάνυ θαυμάζῃς μηδὲ τὸ πρᾶγμά σοι δοκῇ χλεύης ἄξιον, φέρε προτυπωσώμεθα παρʼ ἡμῖν αὐτοῖς ἠγγέλθαι μὲν αἰφνίδιον εἰς τὴν χώραν ἐμβεβληκέναι πολεμίους, εἶναι δὲ ἀνάγκην ἐπεξιέναι καὶ μὴ περιορᾶν ἔξω δῃουμένην τὴν γῆν, τὸν στρατηγὸν δὲ παραγγέλλειν ἅπαντας εἰς τὸν κατάλογον τοὺς ἐν ἡλικίᾳ, καὶ δὴ χωρεῖν τοὺς ἄλλους, ἐν δὲ δὴ τούτοις φιλοσόφους τινὰς καὶ ῥήτορας καὶ παρασίτους.
Simon Therefore, so that you may not wonder too much nor the matter seem to you worthy of mockery, come, let us picture to ourselves that it has been suddenly reported that enemies have invaded the territory, and that there is a necessity to march out against them and not to overlook the land being ravaged outside, and that the general orders all those of military age to be enrolled, and indeed that the others march out, and among these indeed certain philosophers and rhetoricians and parasites.
πρῶτον τοίνυν ἀποδύσωμεν αὐτούς· ἀνάγκη γὰρ τοὺς μέλλοντας ὁπλίζεσθαι γυμνοῦσθαι πρότερον.
First, then, let us strip them; for it is necessary for those who are about to arm themselves to be naked beforehand.
θεῶ δὴ τοὺς ἄνδρας, ὦ γενναῖε, καθʼ ἕκαστον καὶ δοκίμαζε τὰ σώματα.
Behold indeed the men, my noble friend, each by each, and examine their bodies.
τοὺς μὲν τοίνυν αὐτῶν ὑπὸ ἐνδείας ἴδοις ἂν λεπτοὺς καὶ ὠχρούς, πεφρικότας, ὥσπερ ἤδη τραυματίας παρειμένους· ἀγῶνα μὲν γὰρ καὶ μάχην σταδιαίαν καὶ ὠθισμὸν καὶ κόνιν καὶ τραύματα μὴ γελοῖον ᾖ λέγειν δύνασθαι φέρειν ἀνθρώπους ὥσπερ ἐκείνους τινὸς δεομένους ἀναλήψεως.
Some of them you would see thin and pale from want, shivering, as if already wounded and paralyzed; for would it not be ridiculous to say that men such as those, who stand in need of restoration, are able to bear a contest and a standing fight, and shoving, and dust, and wounds?
§41Σίμων
ἄθρει δὲ πάλιν μεταβὰς τὸν παράσιτον ὁποῖός τις φαίνεται.
Simon But look again, turning to the parasite, to see what kind of man he appears.
ἆρʼ οὐχ ὁ μὲν τὸ σῶμα πρῶτον πολὺς καὶ τὸ χρῶμα ἡδύς, οὐ μέλας δὲ οὐδὲ λευκός — τὸ μὲν γὰρ γυναικί, τὸ δὲ δούλῳ προσέοικεν — ἔπειτα θυμοειδής, δεινὸν βλέπων ὁποῖον ἡμεῖς, μέγα καὶ ὕφαιμον;
Is it not that, first, his body is large and his color pleasant, neither dark nor white—for the one resembles a woman, the other a slave—and then he is high-spirited, looking terrible, just like us, with large and bloodshot eyes?
οὐ γὰρ καλὸν δεδοικότα καὶ θῆλυν ὀφθαλμὸν εἰς πόλεμον φέρειν.
For it is not beautiful to bring a fearful and feminine eye into war.
ἆρʼ οὐχ ὁ τοιοῦτος καλὸς μὲν γένοιτʼ ἂν καὶ ζῶν ὁπλίτης, καλὸς δὲ καὶ εἰ ἀποθάνοι νεκρός;
Would not such a man be beautiful as a living hoplite, and beautiful also as a dead corpse, if he should die?
§42Σίμων
ἀλλὰ τί δεῖ ταῦτα εἰκάζειν ἔχοντας αὐτῶν παραδείγματα;
Simon But why is it necessary to conjecture these things, when we have examples of them?
ἁπλῶς γὰρ εἰπεῖν, ἐν πολέμῳ τῶν πώποτε ῥητόρων ἢ φιλοσόφων οἱ μὲν οὐδὲ ὅλως ὑπέμειναν ἔξω τοῦ τείχους προελθεῖν, εἰ δέ τις καὶ ἀναγκασθεὶς παρετάξατο, φημὶ τοῦτον λείψαντα τὴν τάξιν ὑποστρέφειν.
For, to speak plainly, of the rhetoricians or philosophers who have ever lived, some did not even endure to go out at all outside the wall in war, and if anyone, even under compulsion, drew up in line, I say that this man, having left his post, fled back.
Τυχιάδης
ὡς θαυμάσια πάντα καὶ οὐδὲν ὑπισχνῇ μέτριον.
Tychiades How wonderful everything is, and you promise nothing moderate.
λέγε δὲ ὅμως.
Speak nonetheless.
Σίμων
τῶν μὲν τοίνυν ῥητόρων Ἰσοκράτης οὐχ ὅπως εἰς πόλεμον ἐξῆλθέν ποτε, ἀλλʼ οὐδʼ ἐπὶ δικαστήριον ἀνέβη, διὰ δειλίαν, οἶμαι, ὅτι οὐδὲ τὴν φωνὴν διὰ τοῦτο εἶχεν ἔτι.
Simon Of the rhetoricians, then, Isocrates was so far from ever going out to war, that he did not even go up to a court of justice, through cowardice, I suppose, because of which he did not even have his voice anymore.
τί δʼ;
What?
οὐχὶ Δημάδης μὲν καὶ Αἰσχίνης καὶ Φιλοκράτης ὑπὸ δέους εὐθὺς τῇ καταγγελίᾳ τοῦ Φιλίππου πολέμου τὴν πόλιν προὔδοσαν καὶ σφᾶς αὐτοὺς τῷ Φιλίππῳ καὶ διετέλεσαν Ἀθήνησιν ἀεὶ τὰ ἐκείνου πολιτευόμενοι, ὃς εἴ γε καὶ ἄλλος τις Ἀθηναίοις κατὰ ταῦτα ἐπολέμει· κἀκεῖνος ἐν αὐτοῖς ἦν φίλος.
Did not Demades and Aeschines and Philocrates, through fear, immediately at the declaration of the war of Philip, betray the city and themselves to Philip, and continued at Athens always acting in his political interest, who, if indeed anyone else did, made war on the Athenians in these matters; and yet he was a friend among them.
Ὑπερίδης δὲ καὶ Δημοσθένης καὶ Λυκοῦργος, οἵ γε δοκοῦντες ἀνδρειότεροι κἀν ταῖς ἐκκλησίαις ἀεὶ θορυβοῦντες καὶ λοιδορούμενοι τῷ Φιλίππῳ, τί ποτε ἀπειργάσαντο γενναῖον ἐν τῷ πρὸς αὐτὸν πολέμῳ;
And Hyperides and Demosthenes and Lycurgus, who indeed seemed more courageous and were always making a tumult in the assemblies and abusing Philip, what noble thing did they ever achieve in the war against him?
καὶ Ὑπερίδης μὲν καὶ Λυκοῦργος οὐδὲ ἐξῆλθον, ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ ὅλως ἐτόλμησαν μικρὸν ἔξω παρακῦψαι τῶν πυλῶν, ἀλλʼ ἐντειχίδιοι ἐκάθηντο παρʼ αὐτοῖς ἤδη πολιορκούμενοι γνωμίδια καὶ προβουλευμάτια συντιθέντες.
Indeed Hyperides and Lycurgus did not even go out, but did not dare at all to peep out even a little outside the gates, but sat within their walls, as if already besieged, composing little decrees and preliminary resolutions.
ὁ δὲ δὴ κορυφαιότατος αὐτῶν, ὁ ταυτὶ λέγων ἐν ταῖς ἐκκλησίαις συνεχῶς· Φίλιππος γὰρ ὁ Μακεδὼν ὄλεθρος, ὅθεν οὐδὲ ἀνδράποδον πρίαιτό τίς ποτε,
τολμήσας προελθεῖν εἰς τὴν Βοιωτίαν, πρὶν ἢ συμμῖξαι τὰ στρατόπεδα καὶ συμβαλεῖν εἰς χεῖρας ῥίψας τὴν ἀσπίδα ἔφυγεν.
And the very leader of them, the one who said these things in the assemblies continually: "For Philip the Macedonian is a pest, from whom one could not even buy a slave," having dared to go forward into Boeotia, before the armies mingled and came to close quarters, threw away his shield and fled.
ἢ οὐδέπω ταῦτα πρότερον διήκουσας οὐδενός, πάνυ γνώριμα ὄντα οὐχ ὅπως Ἀθηναίοις, ἀλλὰ Θρᾳξὶ καὶ Σκύθαις, ὅθεν ἐκεῖνο τὸ κάθαρμα ἦν;
Or have you never heard these things before from anyone, though they are very well known, not only to Athenians, but to Thracians and Scythians, from whom that outcast had his origin?