§18πῶς δὲ οὐ κἀκεῖνο αἰσχρόν, εἴ τις ἐν τῇ χειρὶ ἔχοντά σε βιβλίον ἰδών — ἀεὶ δέ τι πάντως ἔχεις — ἔροιτο οὗτινος ἢ ῥήτορος ἢ συγγραφέως ἢ ποιητοῦ ἐστι, σὺ δὲ ἐκ τῆς ἐπιγραφῆς εἰδὼς πρᾴως εἴποις τοῦτό γε· εἶτα, ὡς φιλεῖ τὰ τοιαῦτα ἐν συνουσίᾳ προχωρεῖν εἰς μῆκος λόγων, ὁ μὲν ἐπαινοῖ τι ἢ αἰτιῷτο τῶν ἐγγεγραμμένων, σὺ δὲ ἀποροίης καὶ μηδὲν ἔχοις εἰπεῖν;
And is it not also shameful if someone, seeing you with a book in your hand—for you always have one by all means —should ask whose it is, of which orator, historian, or poet, and you, knowing it from the title, should quietly say this; and then, as such things are wont to prolong into a length of words in a gathering, he should praise or blame something of what is written, and you should be at a loss and have nothing to say?
οὐκ εὔξῃ τότε χανεῖν σοι τὴν γῆν, κατὰ σεαυτοῦ ὁ Βελλεροφόντης περιφέρων τὸ βιβλίον;
Will you not then pray for the earth to gape for you, carrying around the book like Bellerophon against yourself?
§19Δημήτριος δὲ ὁ Κυνικὸς ἰδὼν ἐν Κορίνθῳ ἀπαίδευτόν τινα βιβλίον κάλλιστον ἀναγιγνώσκοντα — τὰς Βάκχας οἶμαι τοῦ Εὐριπίδου, κατὰ τὸν ἄγγελον δὲ ἦν τὸν διηγούμενον τὰ τοῦ Πενθέως πάθη καὶ τὸ τῆς Ἀγαύης ἔργον — ἁρπάσας διέσπασεν αὐτὸ εἰπών,
ἄμεινόν ἐστι τῷ Πενθεῖ ἅπαξ σπαραχθῆναι ὑπʼ ἐμοῦ ἢ ὑπὸ σοῦ πολλάκις. Ζητῶν δὲ ἀεὶ πρὸς ἐμαυτὸν οὔπω καὶ τήμερον εὑρεῖν δεδύνημαι τίνος ἕνεκα τὴν σπουδὴν ταύτην ἐσπούδακας περὶ τὴν ὠνὴν τῶν βιβλίων·
And Demetrius the Cynic, seeing in Corinth an uneducated man reading a most beautiful book—I think it was the Bacchae of Euripides, and it was at the scene of the messenger describing the sufferings of Pentheus and the deed of Agave—snatched and tore it to pieces, saying, "It is better for Pentheus to be torn to pieces once by me than many times by you." And seeking always in my own mind, even to this day I have not been able to find for what reason you have shown this zeal regarding the purchase of books.
ὠφελείας μὲν γὰρ ἢ χρείας τῆς ἀπʼ αὐτῶν οὐδʼ ἂν οἰηθείη τις τῶν καὶ ἐπʼ ἐλάχιστόν σε εἰδότων, οὐ μᾶλλον ἢ φαλακρὸς ἄν τις πρίαιτο κτένας ἢ κάτοπτρον ὁ τυφλὸς ἢ ὁ κωφὸς αὐλητὴν ἢ παλλακὴν ὁ εὐνοῦχος ἢ ὁ ἠπειρώτης κώπην ἢ ὁ κυβερνήτης ἄροτρον.
For as for any benefit or utility from them, not even anyone who knows you even in the least would think of it, any more than a bald man would buy combs, or a blind man a mirror, or a deaf man a flute-player, or a eunuch a concubine, or an islander an oar, or a pilot a plow.
ἀλλὰ μὴ ἐπίδειξιν πλούτου σοι τὸ πρᾶγμα ἔχει καὶ βούλει τοῦτο ἐμφῆναι ἅπασιν, ὅτι καὶ εἰς τὰ μηδέν σοι χρήσιμα ὅμως ἐκ πολλῆς τῆς περιουσίας ἀναλίσκεις;
But does the matter hold for you a display of wealth, and do you wish to show this to everyone, that even on things of no use to you, you nevertheless spend out of your great abundance?
καὶ μὴν ὅσα γε κἀμὲ Σύρον ὄντα εἰδέναι, εἰ μὴ σαυτὸν φέρων ταῖς τοῦ γέροντος ἐκείνου διαθήκαις παρενέγραψας, ἀπωλώλεις ἂν ὑπὸ λιμοῦ ἤδη καὶ ἀγορὰν προὐτίθεις τῶν βιβλίων· .
And yet, as far as I, being a Syrian, know, if you had not written yourself into the will of that old man, you would already have perished of hunger and put up your books for public sale.
§20λοιπὸν οὖν δὴ ἐκεῖνο, πεπεισμένον ὑπὸ τῶν κολάκων ὡς οὐ μόνον καλὸς εἶ καὶ ἐράσμιος ἀλλὰ σοφὸς καὶ ῥήτωρ καὶ συγγραφεὺς οἷος οὐδʼ ἕτερος, ὠνεῖσθαι τὰ βιβλία, ὡς ἀληθεύοις τοὺς ἐπαίνους αὐτῶν.
It remains, then, that having been persuaded by your flatterers that you are not only handsome and desirable, but wise, a rhetorician, and a writer such as no other, you buy books so that you may make their praises true.
φασὶ δὲ σὲ καὶ λόγους ἐπιδείκνυσθαι αὐτοῖς ἐπὶ δείπνῳ κἀκείνους χερσαίων βατράχων δίκην διψῶντας κεκραγέναι, ἢ μὴ πίνειν, ἢν μὴ διαρραγῶσι βοῶντες.
And they say that you even display speeches to them at dinner, and that they, like land frogs, dry and thirsty, croak out, or refuse to drink unless they are about to burst with shouting.
καὶ γὰρ οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως ῥᾷστος εἶ τῆς ῥινὸς ἕλκεσθαι, καὶ πιστεύεις αὐτοῖς ἅπαντα, ὅς ποτε κἀκεῖνο ἐπείσθης, ὡς βασιλεῖ τινι ὡμοιώθης τὴν ὄψιν, καθάπερ ὁ ψευδαλέξανδρος καὶ ὁ ψευδοφίλιππος ἐκεῖνος κναφεὺς καὶ ὁ κατὰ τοὺς προπάτορας ἡμῶν ψευδονέρων καὶ εἴ τις ἄλλος τῶν ὑπὸ τῷ ψευδο τεταγμένων. §21καὶ τί θαυμαστὸν εἰ τοῦτο ἔπαθες, ἀνόητος καὶ ἀπαίδευτος ἄνθρωπος, καὶ προῄεις ἐξυπτιάζων καὶ μιμούμενος βάδισμα καὶ σχῆμα καὶ βλέμμα ἐκείνου ᾧ σεαυτὸν εἰκάζων ἔχαιρες, ὅπου καὶ Πύρρον φασὶ τὸν Ἠπειρώτην, τὰ ἄλλα θαυμαστὸν ἄνδρα, οὕτως ὑπὸ κολάκων ἐπὶ τῷ ὁμοίῳ ποτὲ διαφθαρῆναι ὡς πιστεύειν ὅτι ὅμοιος ἦν Ἀλεξάνδρῳ ἐκείνῳ;
For indeed, I know not how you are most easy to be led by the nose, and you believe everything they say, you who were once even persuaded of this, that you resembled some king in appearance, just like that pseudo-Alexander, and that pseudo-Philip who was a fuller, and the pseudo-Nero in the time of our ancestors, and whoever else of those classed under the prefix "pseudo." And what wonder if you suffered this, a foolish and uneducated man, and went about tossing back your head and imitating the gait, posture, and look of him to whom you rejoiced in likening yourself, when they say that even Pyrrhus of Epirus, in other respects a wonderful man, was once so corrupted by flatterers on a similar point as to believe that he was like the famous Alexander?
καίτοι τὸ τῶν μουσικῶν τοῦτο, δὶς διὰ πασῶν τὸ πρᾶγμα ἦν· εἶδον γὰρ καὶ τὴν τοῦ Πύρρου εἰκόνα· καὶ ὅμως ἐπέπειστο ἐκμεμάχθαι τοῦ Ἀλεξάνδρου τὴν μορφήν.
And yet this matter was, as the musicians say, a double octave apart; for I too have seen the portrait of Pyrrhus, and yet he was persuaded that he had expressed the very features of Alexander.
ἀλλʼ ἕνεκα μὲν δὴ τούτων ὕβρισταί μοι εἰς τὸν Πύρρον, ὅτι σὲ εἴκασα κατὰ τοῦτο αὐτῷ· τὸ δὲ ἀπὸ τούτου καὶ πάνυ σοι πρέπον ἂν εἴη.
But on account of these things, Pyrrhus has been insulted by me, because I compared you to him in this; yet what follows from this would be entirely fitting for you.
ἐπεὶ γὰρ οὕτω διέκειτο ὁ Πύρρος καὶ ταῦτα ὑπὲρ ἑαυτοῦ ἐπέπειστο, οὐδεὶς ὅστις οὐ συνετίθετο καὶ συνέπασχεν αὐτῷ, ἄχρι δή τις ἐν Λαρίσῃ πρεσβῦτις ξένη αὐτῷ τἀληθὲς εἰποῦσα ἔπαυσεν αὐτὸν τῆς κορύζης.
For since Pyrrhus was in this state and was persuaded of these things about himself, there was no one who did not agree and sympathize with him, until a foreign old woman in Larissa, telling him the truth, cured him of his delusion.
ὁ μὲν γὰρ Πύρρος ἐπιδείξας αὐτῇ εἰκόνα Φιλίππου καὶ Περδίκκου καὶ Ἀλεξάνδρου καὶ Κασσάνδρου καὶ ἄλλων βασιλέων ἤρετο τίνι ὅμοιος εἴη, πάνυ πεπεισμένος ἐπὶ τὸν Ἀλέξανδρον ἥξειν αὐτήν, ἡ δὲ πολὺν χρόνον ἐπισχοῦσα,
Βατραχίωνι,
ἔφη,
τῷ μαγείρῳ· καὶ γὰρ ἦν τις ἐν τῇ Λαρίσῃ Βατραχίων μάγειρος τῷ Πύρρῳ ὅμοιος.
For Pyrrhus, having shown her portraits of Philip, Perdiccas, Alexander, Cassander, and other kings, asked whom he was like, fully persuaded that she would come to Alexander; but she, having waited a long time, said, "To Batrachion, the cook." For indeed there was in Larissa a certain cook named Batrachion who was like Pyrrhus.