§29Παρρησιάδης
οὐ πάντα μου, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, κατηγόρησε Διογένης, ἀλλὰ τὰ πλείω καὶ ὅσα ἦν χαλεπώτερα οὐκ οἶδα ὅ τι παθὼν παρέλιπεν.
Parresiades Philosophy, Diogenes did not accuse me of everything; rather, he left out the majority of the things, and the more severe ones, I do not know what possessed him to do so.
ἐγὼ δὲ τοσούτου δέω ἔξαρνος γενέσθαι ὡς οὐκ εἶπον αὐτά, ἢ ἀπολογίαν τινὰ μεμελετηκὼς ἀφῖχθαι, ὥστε καὶ εἴ τινα ἢ αὐτὸς ἀπεσιώπησεν ἢ ἐγὼ μὴ πρότερον ἔφθην εἰρηκώς, νῦν προσθήσειν μοι δοκῶ.
And I am so far from denying that I said them, or from having arrived here after practicing some defense, that even if there are things which either he kept silent about or I did not happen to have said before, I think I will now add them.
οὕτως γὰρ ἂν μάθοις οὕστινας ἀπεκήρυττον καὶ κακῶς ἠγόρευον ἀλαζόνας καὶ γόητας ἀποκαλῶν.
For in this way you would learn what kind of people I was auctioning off and speaking ill of, calling them impostors and charlatans.
καί μοι μόνον τοῦτο παραφυλάττετε, εἰ ἀληθῆ περὶ αὐτῶν ἐρῶ.
And watch only this for me, whether I speak the truth about them.
εἰ δέ τι βλάσφημον ἢ τραχὺ φαίνοιτο ἔχων ὁ λόγος, οὐ τὸν διελέγχοντα ἐμέ, ἀλλʼ ἐκείνους ἂν οἶμαι δικαιότερον αἰτιάσαισθε, τοιαῦτα ποιοῦντας.
But if my speech should appear to contain anything slanderous or harsh, I think you would more justly blame, not me who refutes them, but those men who do such things.
ἐγὼ γὰρ ἐπειδὴ τάχιστα συνεῖδον ὁπόσα τοῖς ῥητορεύουσιν ἀναγκαῖον τὰ δυσχερῆ προσεῖναι, ἀπάτην καὶ ψεῦδος καὶ θρασύτητα καὶ βοὴν καὶ ὠθισμοὺς καὶ μυρία ἄλλα, ταῦτα μέν, ὥσπερ εἰκὸς ἦν, ἀπέφυγον, ἐπὶ δὲ τὰ σά, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καλὰ ὁρμήσας ἠξίουν ὁπόσον ἔτι μοι λοιπὸν τοῦ βίου καθάπερ ἐκ ζάλης καὶ κλύδωνος εἰς εὔδιόν τινα λιμένα ἐσπλεύσας ὑπὸ σοὶ σκεπόμενος καταβιῶναι.
For as soon as I realized how many unpleasant things are necessarily attached to those who practice oratory—deceit, falsehood, boldness, shouting, pushing, and myriad other things—I fled from these, as was natural, and having rushed toward your noble pursuits, Philosophy, I deemed it right to live out whatever of life was still left to me under your shelter, sailing as if out of a storm and high wave into a calm harbor.
§30Παρρησιάδης
κἀπειδὴ μόνον παρέκυψα εἰς τὰ ὑμέτερα, σὲ μέν, ὥσπερ ἀναγκαῖον ἦν, καὶ τούσδε ἅπαντας ἐθαύμαζον ἀρίστου βίου νομοθέτας ὄντας καὶ τοῖς ἐπʼ αὐτὸν ἐπειγομένοις χεῖρα ὀρέγοντας, τὰ κάλλιστα καὶ συμφορώτατα παραινοῦντας, εἴ τις μὴ παραβαίνοι αὐτὰ μηδὲ διολισθάνοι, ἀλλʼ ἀτενὲς ἀποβλέπων εἰς τοὺς κανόνας οὓς προτεθείκατε, πρὸς τούτους ῥυθμίζοι καὶ ἀπευθύνοι τὸν ἑαυτοῦ βίον, ὅπερ νὴ Δία καὶ τῶν καθʼ ὑμᾶς αὐτοὺς ὀλίγοι ποιοῦσιν.
Parresiades And when I only peeped into your affairs, I admired you, as was necessary, and all of these men here as being lawgivers of the best life and stretching out a hand to those who hasten toward it, advising the most beautiful and most beneficial things—provided that one does not transgress them nor slip away, but, looking intently at the standards you have set forth, regulates and straightens his own life according to them; which, indeed, by Zeus, only a few of those who follow your teachings actually do.
§31Παρρησιάδης
ὁρῶν δὲ πολλοὺς οὐκ ἔρωτι φιλοσοφίας ἐχομένους ἀλλὰ δόξης μόνον τῆς ἀπὸ τοῦ πράγματος ἐφιεμένους, καὶ τὰ μὲν πρόχειρα ταῦτα καὶ δημόσια καὶ ὁπόσα παντὶ μιμεῖσθαι ῥᾴδιον εὖ μάλα ἐοικότας ἀγαθοῖς ἀνδράσι, τὸ γένειον λέγω καὶ τὸ βάδισμα καὶ τὴν ἀναβολήν, ἐπὶ δὲ τοῦ βίου καὶ τῶν πραγμάτων ἀντιφθεγγομένους τῷ σχήματι καὶ τἀναντία ὑμῖν ἐπιτηδεύοντας καὶ διαφθείροντας τὸ ἀξίωμα τῆς ὑποσχέσεως, ἠγανάκτουν, καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα ὅμοιον ἐδόκει μοι καθάπερ ἂν εἴ τις ὑποκριτὴς τραγῳδίας μαλθακὸς αὐτὸς ὢν καὶ γυναικεῖος Ἀχιλλέα ἢ Θησέα ἢ καὶ τὸν Ἡρακλέα ὑποκρίνοιτο αὐτὸν μήτε βαδίζων μήτε βοῶν ἡρωϊκόν, ἀλλὰ θρυπτόμενος ὑπὸ τηλικούτῳ προσωπείῳ, ὃν οὐδʼ ἂν ἡ Ἑλένη ποτὲ ἢ Πολυξένη ἀνάσχοιντο πέρα τοῦ μετρίου αὐταῖς προσεοικότα, οὐχ ὅπως ὁ Ἡρακλῆς ὁ Καλλίνικος, ἀλλά μοι δοκεῖ τάχιστʼ ἂν ἐπιτρῖψαι τῷ ῥοπάλῳ παίων τοῦτον αὐτόν τε καὶ τὸ προσωπεῖον, οὕτως ἀτίμως κατατεθηλυμμένος πρὸς αὐτοῦ.
Parresiades But seeing many who were not possessed by love of philosophy, but only desiring the reputation that comes from it, and who, in these obvious, public things that are easy for anyone to imitate, resembled good men very well—I mean the beard, the gait, and the cloak—but in their lives and actions contradicted their outward appearance, practicing the opposite of your teachings and destroying the dignity of their profession, I was indignant, and the matter seemed to me just like if some tragic actor, being himself soft and womanish, should play Achilles or Theseus or even Heracles himself, neither walking nor shouting in a heroic manner, but behaving effeminately under such a great mask, whom not even Helen or Polyxena would ever tolerate, since he resembles them more than is fitting, let alone Heracles the Victorious, but it seems to me that he would very quickly crush him, striking both him and his mask with his club, since he was so dishonorably effeminized by him.
§32Παρρησιάδης
τοιαῦτα καὶ αὐτὸς ὑμᾶς πάσχοντας ὑπʼ ἐκείνων ὁρῶν οὐκ ἤνεγκα τὴν αἰσχύνην τῆς ὑποκρίσεως, εἰ πίθηκοι ὄντες ἐτόλμησαν ἡρώων προσωπεῖα περιθέσθαι ἢ τὸν ἐν Κύμῃ ὄνον μιμήσασθαι, ὃς λεοντῆν περιβαλόμενος ἠξίου λέων αὐτὸς εἶναι, πρὸς ἀγνοοῦντας τοὺς Κυμαίους ὀγκώμενος μάλα τραχὺ καὶ καταπληκτικόν, ἄχρι δή τις αὐτὸν ξένος καὶ λέοντα ἰδὼν καὶ ὄνον πολλάκις ἤλεγξε καὶ ἀπεδίωξε παίων τοῖς ξύλοις.
Parresiades Seeing you suffering such things from those men, I too could not bear the shame of this hypocrisy, if they, being apes, dared to put on the masks of heroes, or to imitate the donkey in Cyme, who, having put on a lion's skin, claimed to be himself a lion, braying very harshly and terrifyingly to the ignorant Cymaeans, until a stranger who had often seen both a lion and a donkey refuted him and drove him away, beating him with sticks.
Ὃ δὲ μάλιστά μοι δεινόν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, κατεφαίνετο, τοῦτο ἦν· οἱ γὰρ ἄνθρωποι εἴ τινα τούτων ἑώρων πονηρὸν ἢ ἄσχημον ἢ ἀσελγές τι ἐπιτηδεύοντα, οὐκ ἔστιν ὅστις οὐ Φιλοσοφίαν αὐτὴν ᾐτιᾶτο καὶ τὸν Χρύσιππον εὐθὺς ἢ Πλάτωνα ἢ Πυθαγόραν ἢ ὅτου ἐπώνυμον αὑτὸν ὁ διαμαρτάνων ἐκεῖνος ἐποιεῖτο καὶ οὗ τοὺς λόγους ἐμιμεῖτο· καὶ ἀπὸ τοῦ κακῶς βιοῦντος πονηρὰ περὶ ὑμῶν εἴκαζον τῶν πρὸ πολλοῦ τεθνηκότων· οὐ γὰρ παρὰ ζῶντας ὑμᾶς ἡ ἐξέτασις αὐτοῦ ἐγίγνετο, ἀλλʼ ὑμεῖς μὲν ἐκποδών, ἐκεῖνον δὲ ἑώρων σαφῶς ἅπαντες δεινὰ καὶ ἄσεμνα ἐπιτηδεύοντα, ὥστε ἐρήμην ἡλίσκεσθε μετʼ αὐτοῦ καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν ὁμοίαν διαβολὴν συγκατεσπᾶσθε.
And what appeared most terrible of all to me, Philosophy, was this: if people saw any of these men practicing something wicked or indecent or licentious, there was no one who did not blame Philosophy herself, and immediately Chrysippus or Plato or Pythagoras, or whoever that sinner named himself after and whose words he imitated; and from the one living badly, they inferred evil things about you who had died long ago; for the examination of him did not take place in your living presence, but while you were out of the way, everyone saw him clearly practicing terrible and unseemly things, so that you were condemned by default along with him and dragged down into the same slander.