§25Διογένης
οἷοι μὲν ἡμεῖς ἄνδρες ἐγενόμεθα παρὰ τὸν βίον, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, πάνυ ἀκριβῶς οἶσθα καὶ οὐδὲν δεῖ λόγων· ἵνα γὰρ τὸ κατʼ ἐμὲ σιωπήσω, ἀλλὰ Πυθαγόραν τοῦτον καὶ Πλάτωνα καὶ Ἀριστοτέλη καὶ Χρύσιππον καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους τίς οὐκ οἶδεν ὅσα εἰς τὸν βίον καλὰ εἰσεκομίσαντο;
Diogenes What kind of men we were during our lives, Philosophy, you know very well, and there is no need for words; for to say nothing of my own case, who does not know this Pythagoras, Plato, Aristotle, Chrysippus, and the others, and how many noble things they introduced into life?
ἃ δὲ τοιούτους ὄντας ἡμᾶς ὁ τρισκατάρατος οὑτοσὶ Παρρησιάδης ὕβρικεν ἤδη ἐρῶ.
But in what ways this thrice-accursed Parresiades has insulted us, being such as we are, I will now tell.
ῥήτωρ γάρ τις, ὥς φασιν, ὤν, ἀπολιπὼν τὰ δικαστήρια καὶ τὰς ἐν ἐκείνοις εὐδοκιμήσεις, ὁπόσον ἢ δεινότητος ἢ ἀκμῆς ἐπεπόριστο ἐν τοῖς λόγοις, τοῦτο πᾶν ἐφʼ ἡμᾶς συσκευασάμενος οὐ παύεται αὐτὸς μὲν ἀγορεύων κακῶς γόητας καὶ ἀπατεῶνας ἀποκαλῶν, τὰ πλήθη δὲ ἀναπείθων καταγελᾶν ἡμῶν καὶ καταφρονεῖν ὡς τὸ μηδὲν ὄντων· μᾶλλον δὲ καὶ μισεῖσθαι πρὸς τῶν πολλῶν ἤδη πεποίηκεν αὐτούς τε ἡμᾶς καὶ σὲ τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν, φληνάφους καὶ λήρους ἀποκαλῶν τὰ σὰ καὶ τὰ σπουδαιότατα ὧν ἡμᾶς ἐπαίδευσας ἐπὶ χλευασμῷ διεξιών, ὥστε αὐτὸν μὲν κροτεῖσθαι καὶ ἐπαινεῖσθαι πρὸς τῶν θεατῶν, ἡμᾶς δὲ ὑβρίζεσθαι.
For being a certain orator, as they say, having abandoned the law-courts and the reputation in them, whatever of cleverness or vigor he had acquired in speeches, having packed up all this against us, he does not cease speaking ill of us, calling us charlatans and deceivers, and persuading the multitudes to laugh at us and despise us as being nothing; or rather, he has already caused both ourselves and you, Philosophy, to be hated by the many, calling your teachings nonsense and trifles, and recounting with mockery the most serious things in which you educated us, so that he himself is applauded and praised by the spectators, while we are insulted.
φύσει γὰρ τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν ὁ πολὺς λεώς, χαίρουσι τοῖς ἀποσκώπτουσιν καὶ λοιδορουμένοις, καὶ μάλισθʼ ὅταν τὰ σεμνότατα εἶναι δοκοῦντα διασύρηται, ὥσπερ ἀμέλει καὶ πάλαι ἔχαιρον Ἀριστοφάνει καὶ Εὐπόλιδι Σωκράτη τουτονὶ ἐπὶ χλευασίᾳ παράγουσιν ἐπὶ τὴν σκηνὴν καὶ κωμῳδοῦσιν ἀλλοκότους τινὰς περὶ αὐτοῦ κωμῳδίας.
For such is the common people by nature, they rejoice in those who mock and abuse, and especially when the things that seem most venerable are dragged through the dirt, just as indeed they used to rejoice long ago in Aristophanes and Eupolis when they brought this Socrates onto the stage for mockery and staged strange comedies about him.
καίτοι ἐκεῖνοι μὲν καθʼ ἑνὸς ἀνδρὸς ἐτόλμων τοιαῦτα, καὶ ἐν Διονυσίοις ἐφειμένον αὐτὸ ἔδρων, καὶ τὸ σκῶμμα ἐδόκει μέρος τι τῆς ἑορτῆς, καὶ
"ὁ θεὸς ἴσως ἔχαιρε φιλόγελώς τις ὤν. " §26Διογένης
ὁ δὲ τοὺς ἀρίστους συγκαλῶν, ἐκ πολλοῦ φροντίσας καὶ παρασκευασάμενος καὶ βλασφημίας τινὰς εἰς παχὺ βιβλίον ἐγγράψας, μεγάλῃ τῇ φωνῇ ἀγορεύει κακῶς Πλάτωνα, Πυθαγόραν, Ἀριστοτέλη τοῦτον, Χρύσιππον ἐκεῖνον, ἐμὲ καὶ ὅλως ἅπαντας οὔτε ἑορτῆς ἐφιείσης οὔτε ἰδίᾳ τι πρὸς ἡμῶν παθών·
And yet those men dared such things against one man, and did it at the Dionysia when it was permitted, and the jest seemed to be a part of the festival, and "perhaps the god rejoiced, being fond of laughter." Diogenes But this man, calling together the best of us, having meditated and prepared for a long time, and having written down certain slanders in a thick book, speaks ill with a loud voice of Plato, Pythagoras, this Aristotle, that Chrysippus, me, and absolutely everyone, without any festival permitting it, and having suffered nothing from us privately; for the thing would have some excuse if he did it in self-defense, and not as the aggressor himself.
εἶχε γὰρ ἄν τινα συγγνώμην αὐτῷ τὸ πρᾶγμα, εἰ ἀμυνόμενος, ἀλλὰ μὴ ἄρχων αὐτὸς ἔδρα. ὃ δὲ πάντων δεινότατον, ὅτι τοιαῦτα ποιῶν καὶ τὸ σὸν ὄνομα, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, ὑποδύεται καὶ ὑπελθὼν τὸν Διάλογον ἡμέτερον οἰκέτην ὄντα, τούτῳ συναγωνιστῇ καὶ ὑποκριτῇ χρῆται καθʼ ἡμῶν, ἔτι καὶ Μένιππον ἀναπείσας ἑταῖρον ἡμῶν ἄνδρα συγκωμῳδεῖν αὐτῷ τὰ πολλά, ὃς μόνος οὐ πάρεστιν οὐδὲ κατηγορεῖ μεθʼ ἡμῶν, προδοὺς τὸ κοινόν.
But what is most terrible of all is that, doing such things, he also assumes your name, Philosophy, and having insinuated himself into Dialogue, who is our servant, he uses him as an ally and actor against us, having also persuaded Menippus, a man who is our companion, to join in comedy against us for the most part—who alone is not present, nor does he accuse with us, having betrayed our common cause.
§27Διογένης
ἀνθʼ ὧν ἁπάντων ἄξιόν ἐστιν ὑποσχεῖν αὐτὸν τὴν δίκην.
Diogenes In return for all of which, it is right for him to suffer punishment.
ἢ τί γὰρ ἂν εἰπεῖν ἔχοι τὰ σεμνότατα διασύρας ἐπὶ τοσούτων μαρτύρων;
For what could he have to say, having dragged the most venerable things through the dirt in front of so many witnesses?
χρήσιμον γοῦν καὶ πρὸς ἐκείνους τὸ τοιοῦτον, εἰ θεάσαιντο αὐτὸν κολασθέντα, ὡς μηδὲ ἄλλος τις ἔτι καταφρονοίη Φιλοσοφίας· ἐπεὶ τό γε τὴν ἡσυχίαν ἄγειν καὶ ὑβριζόμενον ἀνέχεσθαι οὐ μετριότητος, ἀλλὰ ἀνανδρίας καὶ εὐηθείας εἰκότως ἂν νομίζοιτο.
Such a thing is useful indeed even for them, if they should see him punished, so that no one else may ever despise Philosophy again; since to keep quiet and tolerate being insulted would reasonably be considered not moderation, but cowardice and folly.
τὰ μὲν γὰρ τελευταῖα τίνι φορητά;
For who could bear the latest things?
ὃς καθάπερ τὰ ἀνδράποδα παραγαγὼν ἡμᾶς ἐπὶ τὸ πωλητήριον καὶ κήρυκα ἐπιστήσας ἀπημπόλησεν, ὥς φασιν, τοὺς μὲν ἐπὶ πολλῷ, ἐνίους δὲ μνᾶς Ἀττικῆς, ἐμὲ δὲ ὁ παμπονηρότατος οὗτος δύʼ ὀβολῶν· οἱ παρόντες δὲ ἐγέλων.
He, having brought us to the market-place like slaves and having set a herald over us, sold us off, as they say, some for a high price, some for an Attic mina, and me, this most wicked man sold for two obols; and those present laughed.
ἀνθʼ ὧν αὐτοί τε ἀνεληλύθαμεν ἀγανακτήσαντες καὶ σὲ ἀξιοῦμεν τιμωρήσειν ἡμῖν τὰ ἔσχατα ὑβρισμένοις.
In return for which we ourselves have come up in indignation, and we ask you to avenge us who have been insulted to the utmost.
§28Πλάτων
εὖ γε, ὦ Διόγενες, ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων καλῶς ὁπόσα ἐχρῆν ἅπαντα εἴρηκας.
Plato Well done, Diogenes! Beautifully and completely have you said everything that was necessary on behalf of all.
Φιλοσοφία
παύσασθε ἐπαινοῦντες· ἔγχει τῷ ἀπολογουμένῳ.
Philosophy Stop praising; pour the water for the defendant.
σὺ δὲ ὁ Παρρησιάδης λέγε ἤδη ἐν τῷ μέρει· σοὶ γὰρ τὸ νῦν ῥεῖ.
And you, Parresiades, speak now in your turn; for the water is flowing for you now.
μὴ μέλλε οὖν.
Do not delay then.