§26Ζεύς
μὴ διάτριβε· ἄλλον κάλει τὸν Περιπατητικόν.
Zeus Do not waste time; call another, the Peripatetic.
Ἑρμῆς
σέ φημι, τὸν καλόν, τὸν πλούσιον.
Hermes I mean you, the handsome, the rich.
ἄγε δή, ὠνήσασθε τὸν συνετώτατον, τὸν ἅπαντα ὅλως ἐπιστάμενον.
Come now, buy the most intelligent one, who knows absolutely everything.
Ἀγοράστης
ποῖος δέ τις ἐστί;
Buyer What sort of person is he?
Ἑρμῆς
μέτριος, ἐπιεικής, ἁρμόδιος τῷ βίῳ, τὸ δὲ μέγιστον, διπλοῦς.
Hermes Moderate, reasonable, adapted to life, and what is greatest, double.
Ἀγοράστης
πῶς λέγεις;
Buyer How do you mean?
Ἑρμῆς
ἄλλος μὲν ὁ ἔκτοσθεν φαινόμενος, ἄλλος δὲ ὁ ἔντοσθεν εἶναι δοκεῖ· ὥστε ἢν πρίῃ αὐτόν, μέμνησο τὸν μὲν ἐξωτερικόν, τὸν δὲ ἐσωτερικὸν καλεῖν.
Hermes He seems to be one person on the outside, and another on the inside; so if you buy him, remember to call one 'exoteric' and the other 'esoteric'.
Ἀγοράστης
τί δὲ γινώσκει μάλιστα;
Buyer And what does he know best?
Ἑρμῆς
τρία εἶναι τὰ ἀγαθά, ἐν ψυχῇ, ἐν σώματι, ἐν τοῖς ἐκτός.
Hermes That goods are of three kinds: those in the soul, those in the body, and those in external things.
Ἀγοράστης
ἀνθρώπινα φρονεῖ.
Buyer He thinks human thoughts.
πόσου δέ ἐστιν;
How much is he?
Ἑρμῆς
εἴκοσι μνῶν.
Hermes Twenty minae.
Ἀγοράστης
πολλοῦ λέγεις.
Buyer You say a high price.
Ἑρμῆς
οὔκ, ὦ μακάριε· καὶ γὰρ αὐτὸς ἔχειν τι ἀργύριον δοκεῖ, ὥστε οὐκ ἂν φθάνοις ὠνούμενος.
Hermes No, my good sir; for he himself seems to have some money, so you cannot be too quick in buying him.
ἔτι δὲ εἴσῃ αὐτίκα μάλα παρʼ αὐτοῦ πόσον μὲν ὁ κώνωψ βιοῖ τὸν χρόνον, ἐφʼ ὁπόσον δὲ βάθος ἡ θάλαττα ὑπὸ τοῦ ἡλίου καταλάμπεται, καὶ ὁποία τίς ἐστιν ἡ ψυχὴ τῶν ὀστρείων.
And besides, you will learn from him very shortly how long a mosquito lives, to what depth the sea is illuminated by the sun, and what sort of soul oysters have.
Ἀγοράστης
Ἡράκλεις τῆς ἀκριβολογίας.
Buyer Heracles, what precision!
Ἑρμῆς
τί δὲ εἰ ἀκούσειας ἄλλα πολλῷ τούτων ὀξυδερκέστερα, γονῆς τε πέρι καὶ γενέσεως καὶ τῆς ἐν ταῖς μήτραις τῶν ἐμβρύων πλαστικῆς, καὶ ὡς ἄνθρωπος μὲν γελαστικόν, ὄνος δὲ οὐ γελαστικὸν οὐδὲ τεκταινόμενον οὐδὲ πλωϊζόμενον;
Hermes And what if you were to hear other things far more acute than these, about seed and generation and the molding of embryos in the womb, and how man is a laughing animal, but an ass is neither capable of laughing, nor of building, nor of sailing?
Ἀγοράστης
πάνσεμνα φὴς καὶ ὀνησιφόρα τὰ μαθήματα, ὥστε ὠνοῦμαι αὐτὸν τῶν εἴκοσιν.
Buyer You say the lessons are highly venerable and profitable, so I buy him for the twenty.
§27Ἑρμῆς
εἶεν.
Hermes Very well.
Ζεύς
τίς λοιπὸς ἡμῖν;
Zeus Who is left for us?
Ἑρμῆς
καταλείπεται ὁ Σκεπτικὸς οὗτος.
Hermes This Sceptic is left.
σὺ ὁ Πυρρίας πρόσιθι καὶ ἀποκηρύττου κατὰ τάχος.
You, Pyrrias, come forward and be put up for sale quickly.
ἤδη μὲν ὑπορρέουσιν οἱ πολλοὶ καὶ ἐν ὀλίγοις ἡ πρᾶσις ἔσται.
Already the crowd is slipping away, and the sale will be among few.
ὅμως δὲ τίς καὶ τοῦτον ὠνήσεται;
Still, who will buy this one too?
Ἀγοράστης
ἔγωγε.
Buyer I will.
ἀλλὰ πρῶτον εἰπέ μοι, σὺ τί ἐπίστασαι;
But first tell me, what do you know?
Πύρρων
οὐδέν.
Pyrrho Nothing.
Ἀγοράστης
πῶς τοῦτο ἔφησθα;
Buyer How did you say this?
Πύρρων
ὅτι οὐδὲν ὅλως εἶναί μοι δοκεῖ.
Pyrrho Because it seems to me that nothing exists at all.
Ἀγοράστης
οὐδὲ ἡμεῖς ἄρα ἐσμέν τινες;
Buyer Are we then not even anyone?
Πύρρων
οὐδὲ τοῦτο οἶδα.
Pyrrho I do not know even this.
Ἀγοράστης
οὐδὲ ὅτι σύ τις ὢν τυγχάνεις;
Buyer Nor even that you happen to be someone?
Πύρρων
πολὺ μᾶλλον ἔτι τοῦτο ἀγνοῶ.
Pyrrho I am still much more ignorant of this.
Ἀγοράστης
ὢ τῆς ἀπορίας.
Buyer Oh, what perplexity!
τί δέ σοι τὰ σταθμία ταυτὶ βούλεται;
But what do these scales of yours mean?
Πύρρων
ζυγοστατῶ ἐν αὐτοῖς τοὺς λόγους καὶ πρὸς τὸ ἴσον ἀπευθύνω, καὶ ἐπειδὰν ἀκριβῶς ὁμοίους τε καὶ ἰσοβαρεῖς ἴδω, τότε δὴ τότε ἀγνοῶ τὸν ἀληθέστερον.
Pyrrho With them I weigh arguments and adjust them to equality, and when I see them to be precisely similar and equal in weight, then indeed, then I do not know which is truer.
Ἀγοράστης
τῶν ἄλλων δὲ τί ἂν πράττοις ἐμμελῶς;
Buyer And of other things, what could you do properly?
Πύρρων
τὰ πάντα πλὴν δραπέτην μεταδιώκειν.
Pyrrho Everything except pursue a runaway slave.
Ἀγοράστης
τί δὲ τοῦτό σοι ἀδύνατον;
Buyer And why is this impossible for you?
Πύρρων
ὅτι, ὦγαθέ, οὐ καταλαμβάνω.
Pyrrho Because, my good friend, I do not apprehend.
Ἀγοράστης
εἰκότως· βραδὺς γὰρ καὶ νωθής τις εἶναι δοκεῖς.
Buyer Naturally; for you seem to be slow and sluggish.
ἀλλὰ τί σοι τὸ τέλος τῆς ἐπιστάσεως;
But what is the end of your knowledge?
Πύρρων
ἡ ἀμαθία καὶ τὸ μήτε ἀκούειν μήτε ὁρᾶν.
Pyrrho Ignorance, and neither hearing nor seeing.
Ἀγοράστης
οὐκοῦν καὶ τὸ τυφλὸς ἅμα καὶ κωφὸς εἶναι λέγεις;
Buyer Do you then mean also being blind and deaf at the same time?
Πύρρων
καὶ ἄκριτός γε προσέτι καὶ ἀναίσθητος καὶ ὅλως τοῦ σκώληκος οὐδὲν διαφέρων.
Pyrrho And moreover without judgment and without sensation, and in short differing in no way from a worm.
Ἀγοράστης
ὠνητέος εἶ διὰ ταῦτα.
Buyer You must be bought for these reasons.
πόσου τοῦτον ἄξιον χρὴ φάναι;
For how much must we say he is worth?
Ἑρμῆς
μνᾶς Ἀττικῆς·
Hermes An Attic mina.
Ἀγοράστης
λάμβανε.
Buyer Take it.
τί φής, ὦ οὗτος;
What do you say, fellow?
ἐώνημαι σε;
Have I bought you?
Πύρρων
ἄδηλον.
Pyrrho It is unclear.
Ἀγοράστης
μηδαμῶς· ἐώνημαι γὰρ καὶ τἀργύριον κατέβαλον.
Buyer Not at all; for I have bought you and paid the money.
Πύρρων
ἐπέχω περὶ τούτου καὶ διασκέπτομαι.
Pyrrho I suspend judgment on this and am considering it.
Ἀγοράστης
καὶ μὴν ἀκολούθει μοι, καθάπερ χρὴ ἐμὸν οἰκέτην.
Buyer In any case, follow me, as my servant ought to do.
Πύρρων
τίς οἶδεν εἰ ἀληθῆ ταῦτα φής;
Pyrrho Who knows if you speak the truth in this?
Ἀγοράστης
ὁ κῆρυξ καὶ ἡ μνᾶ καὶ οἱ παρόντες.
Buyer The herald, the mina, and those present.
Πύρρων
πάρεισι γὰρ ἡμῖν τινες;
Pyrrho For are there any people present with us?
Ἀγοράστης
ἀλλʼ ἔγωγέ σε ἤδη ἐμβαλὼν ἐς τὸν μυλῶνα πείσω εἶναι δεσπότης κατὰ τὸν χείρω λόγον.
Buyer But I, by throwing you into the mill right away, will convince you that I am your master according to the worse argument.
Πύρρων
ἔπεχε περὶ τούτου.
Pyrrho Suspend judgment on this.
Ἀγοράστης
μὰ Δίʼ, ἀλλʼ ἤδη γε ἀπεφηνάμην.
Buyer By Zeus, no, but I have already made my decision.
Ἑρμῆς
σὺ μὲν παῦσαι ἀντιτείνων καὶ ἀκολούθει τῷ πριαμένῳ, ὑμᾶς δὲ εἰς αὔριον παρακαλοῦμεν· ἀποκηρύξειν γὰρ τοὺς ἰδιώτας καὶ βαναύσους καὶ ἀγοραίους βίους μέλλομεν.
Hermes You, stop resisting and follow the buyer; and as for the rest of you, we invite you for tomorrow, for we are going to put up for sale the common, mechanical, and market lives.