§248ἀτὰρ ἢν Κέφαλός σοι λοιδορῆται προσφθαρείς, §249πῶς ἀντερεῖς πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐν τἠκκλησίᾳ; §250φήσω παραφρονεῖν αὐτόν. §250bἀλλὰ τοῦτό γε §251ἴσασι πάντες. §251bἀλλὰ καὶ μελαγχολᾶν. §252καὶ τοῦτʼ ἴσασιν. §252bἀλλὰ καὶ τὰ τρύβλια §253κακῶς κεραμεύειν, τὴν δὲ πόλιν εὖ καὶ καλῶς. §254τί δʼ ἢν Νεοκλείδης ὁ γλάμων σε λοιδορῇ; §255τούτῳ μὲν εἶπον ἐς κυνὸς πυγὴν ὁρᾶν. §256τί δʼ ἢν ὑποκρούωσίν σε; §256bπροσκινήσομαι §257ἅτʼ οὐκ ἄπειρος οὖσα πολλῶν κρουμάτων. §258ἐκεῖνο μόνον ἄσκεπτον, ἤν σʼ οἱ τοξόται §259ἕλκωσιν, ὅ τι δράσεις ποτʼ. §259bἐξαγκωνιῶ §260bὡδί· μέση γὰρ οὐδέποτε ληφθήσομαι. §261ἡμεῖς δέ γʼ, ἢν αἴρωσʼ, ἐᾶν κελεύσομεν. §262ταυτὶ μὲν ἡμῖν ἐντεθύμηται καλῶς §263ἐκεῖνο δʼ οὐ πεφροντίκαμεν, ὅτῳ τρόπῳ §264τὰς χεῖρας αἴρειν μνημονεύσομεν τότε.
"But what if Cephalus comes and insults you, how will you reply to him in the assembly?" "I will say he is out of his mind." "But that at least everyone knows." "Well, then, that he is also melancholic." "They know that too." "Well, then, that he makes dishes badly as a potter, but rules the city finely and well." "What if Neocleides, the blear-eyed, insults you?" "To him I'll say to look into a dog's ass." "What if they interrupt you?" "I will bow to them, since I am not inexperienced in many beatings." "This only is unconsidered, if the archers drag you away, whatever will you do?" "I will stick my elbows out like this; for I will never be caught by the waist." "But we, if they lift you up, will tell them to let you be." "These things have indeed been well thought out by us, but we have not considered that other thing, in what way we will remember to raise our hands then.
§265εἰθισμέναι γάρ ἐσμεν αἴρειν τὼ σκέλει. §266χαλεπὸν τὸ πρᾶγμʼ· ὅμως δὲ χειροτονητέον §267ἐξωμισάσαις τὸν ἕτερον βραχίονα. §268ἄγε νυν ἀναστέλλεσθʼ ἄνω τὰ χιτώνια· §269ὑποδεῖσθε δʼ ὡς τάχιστα τὰς Λακωνικάς, §270ὥσπερ τὸν ἄνδρʼ ἐθεᾶσθʼ, ὅτʼ εἰς ἐκκλησίαν §271μέλλοι βαδίζειν ἢ θύραζʼ ἑκάστοτε.
For we are accustomed to raising our legs." "It is a difficult matter; nevertheless, we must vote by show of hands, baring one of our shoulders." "Come now, tuck up your tunics, and put on the Laconian shoes as quickly as possible, just as you saw your husband, whenever he was about to go to the assembly or go outdoors.
Then, when all these things are in order, bind on your beards.
ἡνίκʼ ἂν δέ γε §274τούτους ἀκριβώσητε περιηρμοσμέναι, §275καὶ θαἰμάτια τἀνδρεῖά γʼ ἅπερ ἐκλέψατε §276ἐπαναβάλεσθε, κᾆτα ταῖς βακτηρίαις §277ἐπερειδόμεναι βαδίζετʼ ᾄδουσαι μέλος §278πρεσβυτικόν τι, τὸν τρόπον μιμούμεναι §279τὸν τῶν ἀγροίκων.
And when you have accurately fitted these on, throw on also the men's cloaks which you stole, and then, leaning on your staffs, walk along, singing a song of the old men, imitating the manner of the country folk." "Well said!
For I think other women from the country will come straight to the Pnyx." "But hurry!
§282bἀλλὰ σπεύσαθʼ ὡς εἴωθʼ ἐκεῖ §283τοῖς μὴ παροῦσιν ὀρθρίοις ἐς τὴν πύκνα §284ὑπαποτρέχειν ἔχουσι μηδὲ πάτταλον. §285ὥρα προβαίνειν ὦνδρες ἡμῖν ἐστι· τοῦτο γὰρ χρὴ §286μεμνημένας ἀεὶ λέγειν, ὡς μήποτʼ ἐξολίσθῃ §287ἡμᾶς.
For there those who are not present at the Pnyx at dawn they are accustomed to send away without even a penny." "It is time for us to advance, gentlemen; for we must always remember to speak this, lest it ever slip away from us.
ὁ κίνδυνος γὰρ οὐχὶ μικρός, ἢν ἁλῶμεν §288ἐνδυόμεναι κατὰ σκότον τόλμημα τηλικοῦτον.
For the danger is not small, if we are caught putting on in the dark such a great venture.
§289χωρῶμεν εἰς ἐκκλησίαν ὦνδρες· ἠπείλησε γὰρ §290ὁ θεσμοθέτης, ὃς ἂν §290aμὴ πρῲ πάνυ τοῦ κνέφους §291ἥκῃ κεκονιμένος, §291aστέργων σκοροδάλμῃ §292βλέπων ὑπότριμμα, μὴ §292aδώσειν τὸ τριώβολον.
Let us go to the assembly, gentlemen; for the lawgiver threatened that whoever does not arrive very early in the dusk covered with dust, content with garlic pickle, looking sourly, will not get the three obols.
§293ἀλλʼ ὦ Χαριτιμίδη §293aκαὶ Σμίκυθε καὶ Δράκης §294ἕπου κατεπείγων, §294aσαυτῷ προσέχων ὅπως §295μηδὲν παραχορδιεῖς §295aὧν δεῖ σʼ ἀποδεῖξαι· §296ὅπως δὲ τὸ σύμβολον §296aλαβόντες ἔπειτα πλησίοι §297καθεδούμεθʼ, ὡς §297aἂν χειροτονῶμεν §298ἅπανθʼ ὁπόσʼ ἂν δέῃ §298aτὰς ἡμετέρας φίλας.
But, O Charitimides and Smicythus and Draces, follow, hurrying along, paying attention to yourself so that you do not strike a false note in what you must display; and so that, having received the ticket, we may then sit close to one another, so that we may vote for all things whatever are necessary for our female friends.
§299καίτοι τί λέγω;
And yet, what am I saying?
φίλους §299aγὰρ χρῆν μʼ ὀνομάζειν.
'Male' friends I should have called them.
§300ὅρα δʼ ὅπως ὠθήσομεν τούσδε τοὺς ἐξ ἄστεως §300aἥκοντας, ὅσοι πρὸ τοῦ §301μέν, ἡνίκʼ ἔδει λαβεῖν §301aἐλθόντʼ ὀβολὸν μόνον, §302καθῆντο λαλοῦντες §302aἐν τοῖς στεφανώμασιν, §303νυνὶ δʼ ἐνοχλοῦσʼ ἄγαν.
And see to it that we push aside those coming from the city, whoever formerly, when it was necessary to receive only an obol, sat chattering in the garland market, but now they annoy us too much.
§303aἀλλʼ οὐχί, Μυρωνίδης §304ὅτʼ ἦρχεν ὁ γεννάδας, §304aοὐδεὶς ἂν ἐτόλμα §305τὰ τῆς πόλεως διοικεῖν §305aἀργύριον φέρων· §306ἀλλʼ ἧκεν ἕκαστος §306aἐν ἀσκιδίῳ φέρων §307πιεῖν ἅμα τʼ ἄρτον αὑτῷ §307aκαὶ δύο κρομμύω §308καὶ τρεῖς ἂν ἐλάας.
But it was not so when Myronides, the noble, was ruling; no one would have dared to manage the affairs of the city carrying away silver; but each one came bringing in a little skin drink, and at the same time a loaf and two onions and three olives.
§308aνυνὶ δὲ τριώβολον §309ζητοῦσι λαβεῖν, ὅταν §309aπράττωσί τι κοινὸν ὥσ- §310περ πηλοφοροῦντες. §311τί τὸ πρᾶγμα;
But now they seek to receive three obols, whenever they do anything public, just like clay-carriers." "What is the matter?
ποῖ ποθʼ ἡ γυνὴ φρούδη ʼστί μοι;
Where on earth has my wife vanished to?
§312ἐπεὶ πρὸς ἕω νῦν γʼ ἔστιν, ἡ δʼ οὐ φαίνεται.
For now it is near dawn, and she does not appear.
§313ἐγὼ δὲ κατάκειμαι πάλαι χεζητιῶν, §314τὰς ἐμβάδας ζητῶν λαβεῖν ἐν τῷ σκότῳ §315καὶ θοἰμάτιον· ὅτε δὴ δʼ ἐκεῖνο ψηλαφῶν §316οὐκ ἐδυνάμην εὑρεῖν, ὁ δʼ ἤδη τὴν θύραν §317ἐπεῖχε κρούων ὁ κοπρεαῖος, λαμβάνω §318τουτὶ τὸ τῆς γυναικὸς ἡμιδιπλοίδιον, §319καὶ τὰς ἐκείνης Περσικὰς ὑφέλκομαι.
And I have been lying down for a long time wishing to shit, seeking to get my shoes in the dark and my cloak; but when groping for it I could not find it, and already at the door the shit-demon was pressing, knocking, I took this little half-doublet of my wife, and slipped into her Persian slippers.
§320ἀλλʼ ἐν καθαρῷ ποῦ, ποῦ τις ἂν χέσας τύχοι;
But in a clean spot, where, where might one happen to shit?
§321ἢ πανταχοῦ τοι νυκτός ἐστιν ἐν καλῷ;
Or is everywhere indeed fine at night?
§322οὐ γάρ με νῦν χέζοντά γʼ οὐδεὶς ὄψεται.
For no one will see me shitting now.
Alas, wretched me, that being an old man I took a wife; how many beatings I deserve to get!
For she has never gone out with any good purpose to do.
ὅμως δʼ οὖν ἐστιν ἀποπατητέον. §327τίς ἔστιν;
Nevertheless, I must relieve myself." "Who is it?
οὐ δήπου Βλέπυρος ὁ γειτνιῶν; §328νὴ τὸν Δίʼ αὐτὸς δῆτʼ ἐκεῖνος.
Surely not Blepyrus the neighbor?" "By Zeus, that very man indeed."