§74ἔτʼ ἐστὶ λοιπὸν ἀγαθόν, εἰ καὶ τοῦτʼ ἄρα· §75οὐ γὰρ σάφʼ οἶδʼ οὐδʼ αὐτὸ τοῦθʼ ὅπως ἔχει. §76εἶτʼ οὐχὶ Σοφοκλέα πρότερον Εὐριπίδου §77μέλλεις ἀναγαγεῖν, εἴπερ ἐκεῖθεν δεῖ σʼ ἄγειν; §78οὐ πρίν γʼ ἂν Ἰοφῶντʼ, ἀπολαβὼν αὐτὸν μόνον, §79ἄνευ Σοφοκλέους ὅ τι ποιεῖ κωδωνίσω. §80κἄλλως ὁ μέν γʼ Εὐριπίδης πανοῦργος ὢν §81κἂν ξυναποδρᾶναι δεῦρʼ ἐπιχειρήσειέ μοι· §82ὁ δʼ εὔκολος μὲν ἐνθάδʼ εὔκολος δʼ ἐκεῖ. §83Ἀγάθων δὲ ποῦ ʼστιν; §83bἀπολιπών μʼ ἀποίχεται, §84ἀγαθὸς ποιητὴς καὶ ποθεινὸς τοῖς φίλοις. §85ποῖ γῆς ὁ τλήμων; §85bἐς Μακάρων εὐωχίαν. §86ὁ δὲ Σενοκλέης; §86bἐξόλοιτο νὴ Δία. §87Πυθάγγελος δέ; §87bπερὶ ἐμοῦ δʼ οὐδεὶς λόγος §88ἐπιτριβομένου τὸν ὦμον οὑτωσὶ σφόδρα. §89οὔκουν ἕτερʼ ἔστʼ ἐνταῦθα μειρακύλλια §90τραγῳδίας ποιοῦντα πλεῖν ἢ μύρια, §91Εὐριπίδου πλεῖν ἢ σταδίῳ λαλίστερα. §92ἐπιφυλλίδες ταῦτʼ ἐστὶ καὶ στωμύλματα, §93χελιδόνων μουσεῖα, λωβηταὶ τέχνης, §94ἃ φροῦδα θᾶττον, ἢν μόνον χορὸν λάβῃ, §95ἅπαξ προσουρήσαντα τῇ τραγῳδίᾳ. §96γόνιμον δὲ ποιητὴν ἂν οὐχ εὕροις ἔτι §97ζητῶν ἄν, ὅστις ῥῆμα γενναῖον λάκοι. §98πῶς γόνιμον; §98bὡδὶ γόνιμον, ὅστις φθέγξεται §99τοιουτονί τι παρακεκινδυνευμένον, §100αἰθέρα Διὸς δωμάτιον, ἢ χρόνου πόδα, §101ἢ φρένα μὲν οὐκ ἐθέλουσαν ὀμόσαι καθʼ ἱερῶν, §102γλῶτταν δʼ ἐπιορκήσασαν ἰδίᾳ τῆς φρενός. §103σὲ δὲ ταῦτʼ ἀρέσκει; §103bμἀλλὰ πλεῖν ἢ μαίνομαι. §104ἦ μὴν κόβαλά γʼ ἐστίν, ὡς καὶ σοὶ δοκεῖ. §105μὴ τὸν ἐμὸν οἴκει νοῦν· ἔχεις γὰρ οἰκίαν. §106καὶ μὴν ἀτεχνῶς γε παμπόνηρα φαίνεται. §107δειπνεῖν με δίδασκε. §107bπερὶ ἐμοῦ δʼ οὐδεὶς λόγος. §108ἀλλʼ ὧνπερ ἕνεκα τήνδε τὴν σκευὴν ἔχων §109ἦλθον κατὰ σὴν μίμησιν, ἵνα μοι τοὺς ξένους §110τοὺς σοὺς φράσειας, εἰ δεοίμην, οἷσι σὺ §111ἐχρῶ τόθʼ, ἡνίκʼ ἐπὶ τὸν Κέρβερον, §112τούτους φράσον μοι, λιμένας ἀρτοπώλια §113πορνεῖʼ ἀναπαύλας ἐκτροπὰς κρήνας ὁδοὺς §114πόλεις διαίτας πανδοκευτρίας, ὅπου §115κόρεις ὀλίγιστοι.
D:...if indeed even that is so; there is still some good left in him. D: For I don't even know clearly how that very matter stands. H: Then why are you not going to bring back Sophocles before Euripides, H: if indeed you must bring someone from there? D: Not until I take Iophon aside alone, D: and test what he can do without Sophocles. D: And besides, Euripides, being a rogue, D: might even try to escape together with me back here; D: but Sophocles was easy-tempered here, and is easy-tempered there. H: But where is Agathon? D: He has departed, leaving me behind, D: a good poet and missed by his friends. H: Where on earth has the poor fellow gone? D: To the banquet of the Blessed. H: And what of Xenocles? D: May he perish, by Zeus! H: And Pythangelus? X: And of me there is no word, X: whose shoulder is being so terribly rubbed. H: Are there not, then, other little striplings there H: writing tragedies, more than ten thousand, H: more than a stadium more talkative than Euripides? D: These are mere prunings and chatterboxes, D: choir stalls of swallows, mutilators of the art, D: who vanish at once, if only they obtain a chorus, D: having once pissed upon tragedy. D: But a fertile poet you could no longer find, D: search as you might, who could utter a noble phrase. H: How "fertile"? D: Fertile in this way: one who will utter D: some such daring expression, D: "ether, Zeus's little chamber," or "the foot of time," D: or "the mind unwilling to swear by the sacred offerings, D: but the tongue having sworn falsely apart from the mind." H: And does this please you? D: Rather, I am more than mad for it. H: It is surely knavish tricks, as indeed it seems to you too. D: Don't manage my mind; for you have a house of your own. H: And yet, it simply seems utterly worthless. D: Teach me how to dine! X: And of me there is no word. D: But the things for which I came, having this garb, D: in imitation of you, so that you might tell me of your hosts D: whom you used at that time, when you went after Cerberus, D: tell me these— D: harbor, bread-shops, D: brothels, resting-places, detours, springs, roads, D: cities, lodgings, landladies, where D: there are the fewest bugs. X: And of me there is no word. H: Oh daring wretch, will you actually venture to go too? D: Say nothing more to this, but tell me of the roads D: by which we may most quickly arrive down in Hades; D: and do not tell of one that is hot, nor one that is too cold. H: Well now, which of them shall I tell you first?
§115bπερὶ ἐμοῦ δʼ οὐδεὶς λόγος. §116ὦ σχέτλιε τολμήσεις γὰρ ἰέναι καὶ σύ γε; §117μηδὲν ἔτι πρὸς ταῦτʼ, ἀλλὰ φράζε τῶν ὁδῶν §118ὅπῃ τάχιστʼ ἀφιξόμεθʼ εἰς Ἅιδου κάτω· §119καὶ μήτε θερμὴν μήτʼ ἄγαν ψυχρὰν φράσῃς. §120φέρε δὴ τίνʼ αὐτῶν σοι φράσω πρώτην; τίνα; §121μία μὲν γὰρ ἔστιν ἀπὸ κάλω καὶ θρανίου, §122κρεμάσαντι σαυτόν. §122bπαῦε, πνιγηρὰν λέγεις. §123ἀλλʼ ἔστιν ἀτραπὸς ξύντομος τετριμμένη §124ἡ διὰ θυείας. §124bἆρα κώνειον λέγεις; §125μάλιστά γε. §125bψυχράν γε καὶ δυσχείμερον· §126εὐθὺς γὰρ ἀποπήγνυσι τἀντικνήμια. §127βούλει κατάντη καὶ ταχεῖαν σοι φράσω; §128νὴ τὸν Δίʼ ὡς ὄντος γε μὴ βαδιστικοῦ. §129καθέρπυσόν νυν ἐς Κεραμεικόν. §129bκᾆτα τί; §130ἀναβὰς ἐπὶ τὸν πύργον τὸν ὑψηλόν— §130bτί δρῶ; §131ἀφιεμένην τὴν λαμπάδʼ ἐντεῦθεν θεῶ, §132κἄπειτʼ ἐπειδὰν φῶσιν οἱ θεώμενοι §133εἷναι,
τόθʼ εἷναι καὶ σὺ σαυτόν. §133bποῖ §133cκάτω. §134ἀλλʼ ἀπολέσαιμʼ ἂν ἐγκεφάλου θρίω δύο. §135οὐκ ἂν βαδίσαιμι τὴν ὁδὸν ταύτην. §135bτί δαί; §136ἥνπερ σὺ τότε κατῆλθες. §136bἀλλʼ ὁ πλοῦς πολύς. §137εὐθὺς γὰρ ἐπὶ λίμνην μεγάλην ἥξεις πάνυ §138ἄβυσσον. §138bεἶτα πῶς περαιωθήσομαι; §139ἐν πλοιαρίῳ τυννουτῳί σʼ ἀνὴρ γέρων §140ναύτης διάξει δύʼ ὀβολὼ μισθὸν λαβών. §141φεῦ, §141aὡς μέγα δύνασθον πανταχοῦ τὼ δύʼ ὀβολώ. §142πῶς ἠλθέτην κἀκεῖσε; §142bΘησεὺς ἤγαγεν. §143μετὰ ταῦτʼ ὄφεις καὶ θηρίʼ ὄψει μυρία §144δεινότατα. §144bμή μʼ ἔκπληττε μηδὲ δειμάτου· §145οὐ γάρ μʼ ἀποτρέψεις. §145bεἶτα βόρβορον πολὺν §146καὶ σκῶρ ἀείνων· ἐν δὲ τούτῳ κειμένους, §147εἴ που ξένον τις ἠδίκησε πώποτε, §148ἢ παῖδα κινῶν τἀργύριον ὑφείλετο, §149ἢ μητέρʼ ἠλόασεν, ἢ πατρὸς γνάθον §150ἐπάταξεν, ἢ ʼπίορκον ὅρκον ὤμοσεν, §151ἢ Μορσίμου τις ῥῆσιν ἐξεγράψατο. §152νὴ τοὺς θεοὺς ἐχρῆν γε πρὸς τούτοισι κεἰ §153τὴν πυρρίχην τις ἔμαθε τὴν Κινησίου.
Which one? H: For there is one by way of rope and bench, H: if you hang yourself. D: Stop, you speak of a choking one. H: But there is a short, well-beaten path, H: the one through the mortar. D: Do you mean hemlock? H: Precisely. D: A cold and wintry one, indeed; D: for it immediately freezes the shins. H: Do you want me to tell you a steep and quick one? D: Yes, by Zeus, since I am not much of a walker. H: Creep down now to Ceramicos. D: And then what? H: Climb up onto the high tower— D: What do I do? H: Watch the torch-race being started from there, H: and then, when the spectators say "they are off," H: then you too off yourself. D: Where? H: Down. D: But I would ruin two fig-leaf parcels of my brain. D: I wouldn't walk that road. H: Which one then? D: The very one you went down then. H: But the voyage is long. H: For immediately you will come to a very great, bottomless lake. D: Then how shall I get across? H: In a tiny boat like this, an old man, H: a ferryman, will take you across, taking two obols as fare. D: Ah, D: how great a power those two obols have everywhere! D: How did they get even there? H: Theseus brought them. H: After that, you will see countless snakes and beasts, most terrible. D: Do not scare me nor terrify me; D: for you will not turn me back. H: Then a great deal of mud H: and ever-flowing dung; and lying in this, H: anyone who ever wronged a guest, or stole back his money while sexing a boy, or beat his mother, or struck his father's jaw, or swore a false oath, or anyone who copied out a speech of Morsimus. D: By the gods, they ought to have added to these also D: anyone who learned the pyrrhic dance of Cinesias.