§962ἄκουσον ὦ δαιμόνιέ μου τῶν μαρτύρων.
Listen, my good sir, to my witnesses.
Go up, cheese-grater, and speak loud; for you happened to be the housekeeper.
ἀπόκριναι σαφῶς, §965εἰ μὴ κατέκνησας τοῖς στρατιώταις ἅλαβες.
Answer clearly, whether you did not grate down for the soldiers what you received.
§966φησὶ κατακνῆσαι.
She says she did.
§966bνὴ Δίʼ ἀλλὰ ψεύδεται.
By Zeus, but she is lying.
§967ὦ δαιμόνιʼ ἐλέει ταλαιπωρουμένους.
My good sir, pity those who are suffering.
For this Labes eats even the neck-scraps and the fish-bones, and never stays in the same place.
§970ὁ δʼ ἕτερος οἷός ἐστιν οἰκουρὸς μόνον.
But the other one is only fit for keeping the house.
For staying right there, whatever anyone brings in, of these he demands his share; and if not, he bites.
§973αἰβοῖ.
Ah me!
τί κακόν ποτʼ ἔσθʼ ὅτῳ μαλάττομαι;
What evil is this by which I am softened?
§974κακόν τι περιβαίνει με κἀναπείθομαι.
Some evil thing is coming over me, and I am being won over.
Come, I entreat you; pity him, father, and do not destroy him.
ποῦ τὰ παιδία;
Where are his children?
Come up, you wretched creatures, and whimpering beg and entreat and weep.
§979κατάβα κατάβα κατάβα κατάβα.
Come down, come down, come down, come down.
§979bκαταβήσομαι.
I will come down.
And yet, this 'Come down' has indeed deceived very many people.
ἀτὰρ ὅμως καταβήσομαι.
But nevertheless, I will come down.
§982ἐς κόρακας.
Go to the crows!
ὡς οὐκ ἀγαθόν ἐστι τὸ ῥοφεῖν.
How eating soup is no good thing.
For I have just wept against my judgment, for no other reason than being full of lentil soup.
§985οὔκουν ἀποφεύγει δῆτα;
Is he not then acquitted?
§985bχαλεπὸν εἰδέναι.
It is hard to know.
§986ἴθʼ ὦ πατρίδιον ἐπὶ τὰ βελτίω τρέπου.
Come, dear father, turn to the better side.
Take this voting pebble and run past to the latter box, and closing your eyes, set him free, father.
§989οὐ δῆτα· κιθαρίζειν γὰρ οὐκ ἐπίσταμαι.
Certainly not; for I do not know how to play the lyre.
§990φέρε νύν σε τῃδὶ τὴν ταχίστην περιάγω.
Come now, let me lead you around this way as quickly as possible.
§991ὅδʼ ἔσθʼ ὁ πρότερος;
Is this the former one?
§991bοὗτος·
This is it.
§991cαὕτη ʼνταῦθʼ ἔνι.
Here it goes in.
§992ἐξηπάτηται κἀπολέλυκεν οὐχ ἑκών.
He has been deceived and has acquitted him against his will.
§993φέρʼ ἐξεράσω.
Come, let me pour them out.
§993bπῶς ἄρʼ ἠγωνίσμεθα;
How then have we fared in the contest?
§994δείξειν ἔοικεν.
It seems it will show.
ἐκπέφευγας ὦ Λάβης.
You are acquitted, Labes!
§995πάτερ πάτερ τί πέπονθας;
Father, father, what is the matter with you?
οἴμοι·
Ah me!
ποῦ ʼσθʼ ὕδωρ;
Where is some water?
§996ἔπαιρε σαυτόν.
Raise yourself.
§997bνὴ Δίʼ·
Yes, by Zeus.
§997cοὐδέν εἰμʼ ἄρα.
Then I am nothing anymore.
§998μὴ φροντίσῃς ὦ δαιμόνιʼ· ἀλλʼ ἀνίστασο.
Do not worry, my good sir; but stand up.
How then shall I live with myself, having acquitted a defendant?
τί ποτε πείσομαι;
What will become of me?
But, o highly honored gods, forgive me; for I did it against my will, and it is not my way.
§1003καὶ μηδὲν ἀγανάκτει γʼ. ἐγὼ γάρ σʼ ὦ πάτερ
And do not be angry at all.
§1004θρέψω καλῶς, ἄγων μετʼ ἐμαυτοῦ πανταχοῖ, §1005ἐπὶ δεῖπνον, ἐς ξυμπόσιον, ἐπὶ θεωρίαν, §1006ὥσθʼ ἡδέως διάγειν σε τὸν λοιπὸν χρόνον· §1007κοὐκ ἐγχανεῖταί σʼ ἐξαπατῶν Ὑπέρβολος.
For I, father, will support you well, leading you with me everywhere, to dinner, to symposia, to spectacles, so that you may spend the rest of your time pleasantly; and Hyperbolus will not mock you by deceiving you.
§1008ἀλλʼ εἰσίωμεν.
But let us go in.
§1008bταῦτά νυν, εἴπερ δοκεῖ.
Let us do so then, since it seems good.
§1009ἀλλʼ ἴτε χαίροντες ὅποι βούλεσθʼ.
Go then rejoicing, wherever you wish.
§1010ὑμεῖς δὲ τέως ὦ μυριάδες §1010aἀναρίθμητοι, §1011νῦν τὰ μέλλοντʼ εὖ λέγεσθαι §1012μὴ πέσῃ φαύλως χαμᾶζʼ
But you, meanwhile, o countless myriads, take care that what is about to be well said does not fall uselessly to the ground.
§1013εὐλαβεῖσθε.
Be on your guard.
For to suffer this is the mark of foolish spectators, and does not belong to you.
§1015νῦν αὖτε λεῲ προσέχετε τὸν νοῦν, εἴπερ καθαρόν τι φιλεῖτε.
Now in turn, people, pay attention, if you love anything pure.
§1016μέμψασθαι γὰρ τοῖσι θεαταῖς ὁ ποιητὴς νῦν ἐπιθυμεῖ.
For the poet now desires to find fault with the spectators.
§1017ἀδικεῖσθαι γάρ φησιν πρότερος πόλλʼ αὐτοὺς εὖ πεποιηκώς, §1018τὰ μὲν οὐ φανερῶς ἀλλʼ ἐπικουρῶν κρύβδην ἑτέροισι ποιηταῖς, §1019μιμησάμενος τὴν Εὐρυκλέους μαντείαν καὶ διάνοιαν, §1020εἰς ἀλλοτρίας γαστέρας ἐνδὺς κωμῳδικὰ πολλὰ χέασθαι· §1021μετὰ τοῦτο δὲ καὶ φανερῶς ἤδη κινδυνεύων καθʼ ἑαυτόν, §1022οὐκ ἀλλοτρίων ἀλλʼ οἰκείων Μουσῶν στόμαθʼ ἡνιοχήσας.
For he says he is wronged, though having previously done them many benefits, sometimes not openly, but secretly helping other poets, imitating the prophetic art and mind of Eurycles, entering into other men's bellies to pour forth many comic verses; but after this, now also openly risking danger by himself, harnessing the mouths of his own Muses, not those of others.
§1023ἀρθεὶς δὲ μέγας καὶ τιμηθεὶς ὡς οὐδεὶς πώποτʼ ἐν ὑμῖν, §1024οὐκ † ἐκτελέσαι † φησὶν ἐπαρθεὶς οὐδʼ ὀγκῶσαι τὸ φρόνημα, §1025οὐδὲ παλαίστρας περικωμάζειν πειρῶν· οὐδʼ εἴ τις ἐραστὴς §1026κωμῳδεῖσθαι παιδίχʼ ἑαυτοῦ μισῶν ἔσπευσε πρὸς αὐτόν, §1027οὐδενὶ πώποτέ φησι πιθέσθαι, γνώμην τινʼ ἔχων ἐπιεικῆ, §1028ἵνα τὰς Μούσας αἷσιν χρῆται μὴ προαγωγοὺς ἀποφήνῃ.
And having been raised to greatness and honored among you as no one ever was, he says he did not, though uplifted, become puffed up or swell his pride, nor did he try to go making rounds of the wrestling schools; nor, if any lover hating his own minion, hastened to him to have him lampooned, he says he never complied with anyone, having a decent mind, lest he should render the Muses whom he employs into procuresses.
§1029οὐδʼ ὅτε πρῶτόν γʼ ἦρξε διδάσκειν, ἀνθρώποις φήσʼ ἐπιθέσθαι, §1030ἀλλʼ Ἡρακλέους ὀργήν τινʼ ἔχων τοῖσι μεγίστοις ἐπιχειρεῖν, §1031θρασέως ξυστὰς εὐθὺς ἀπʼ ἀρχῆς αὐτῷ τῷ καρχαρόδοντι, §1032οὗ δεινόταται μὲν ἀπʼ ὀφθαλμῶν Κύννης ἀκτῖνες ἔλαμπον, §1033ἑκατὸν δὲ κύκλῳ κεφαλαὶ κολάκων οἰμωξομένων ἐλιχμῶντο §1034περὶ τὴν κεφαλήν, φωνὴν δʼ εἶχεν χαράδρας ὄλεθρον τετοκυίας, §1035φώκης δʼ ὀσμήν, Λαμίας ὄρχεις ἀπλύτους, πρωκτὸν δὲ καμήλου.
And not even when he first began to produce did he attack human beings, he says, but, possessing a kind of Herculean rage, he set upon the greatest targets, boldly grappling from the very beginning with that jagged-toothed monster itself, from whose eyes shone the most terrible rays of Cynna, and a hundred heads of flatterers destined to howl licked all around around his head, and he had the voice of a torrent bringing destruction, and the smell of a seal, the unwashed testicles of a Lamia, and the anus of a camel.