§594κἀν τῷ δήμῳ γνώμην οὐδεὶς πώποτʼ ἐνίκησεν, ἐὰν μὴ §595εἴπῃ τὰ δικαστήριʼ ἀφεῖναι πρώτιστα μίαν δικάσαντας·
And indeed, in the Assembly, no one has ever passed a proposal, unless he says that they should first of all dismiss the courts, after the judges have judged just once.
§596αὐτὸς δὲ Κλέων ὁ κεκραξιδάμας μόνον ἡμᾶς οὐ περιτρώγει, §597ἀλλὰ φυλάττει διὰ χειρὸς ἔχων καὶ τὰς μυίας ἀπαμύνει.
Even Cleon himself, the big-voiced-tamer, does not bite us all around (i.e. does not harm us), but keeps us in his hand and protects us, brushing away the flies.
§598σὺ δὲ τὸν πατέρʼ οὐδʼ ὁτιοῦν τούτων τὸν σαυτοῦ πώποτʼ ἔδρασας.
But you have never done any such thing for your own father.
§599ἀλλὰ Θέωρος, καίτοὐστὶν ἀνὴρ Εὐφημίου οὐδὲν ἐλάττων, §600τὸν σφόγγον ἔχων ἐκ τῆς λεκάνης τἀμβάδιʼ ἡμῶν περικωνεῖ.
Yet Theorus, although he is a man in no way inferior to Euphemius, takes a sponge from the basin and wipes our shoes.
§601σκέψαι μʼ ἀπὸ τῶν ἀγαθῶν οἵων ἀποκλῄεις καὶ κατερύκεις, §602ἣν δουλείαν οὖσαν ἔφασκες καὶ ὑπηρεσίαν ἀποδείξειν.
Consider what kind of benefits you shut me out from and keep me back from, which you said was slavery and which you declared you would prove to be a menial service.
§603ἔμπλησο λέγων· πάντως γάρ τοι παύσει ποτὲ κἀναφανήσει §604πρωκτὸς λουτροῦ περιγιγνόμενος τῆς ἀρχῆς τῆς περισέμνου.
Have your fill of speaking; for you will certainly stop eventually, and a rear end belonging to the bathhouse will show itself, getting the better of your grand empire.
§605ὃ δέ γʼ ἥδιστον τούτων ἐστὶν πάντων, οὗ ʼγὼ ʼπελελήσμην, §606ὅταν οἴκαδʼ ἴω τὸν μισθὸν ἔχων, κἄπειθʼ ἥκονθʼ ἅμα πάντες §607ἀσπάζωνται διὰ τἀργύριον, καὶ πρῶτα μὲν ἡ θυγάτηρ με
But what is the sweetest of all these things, which I had forgotten, is when I go home with my pay, and then, as soon as I arrive, all together greet me because of the money.
§608ἀπονίζῃ καὶ τὼ πόδʼ ἀλείφῃ καὶ προσκύψασα φιλήσῃ §609καὶ παππίζουσʼ ἅμα τῇ γλώττῃ τὸ τριώβολον ἐκκαλαμᾶται,
First of all, my daughter washes me, anoints my feet, bends down and kisses me, and calling me 'daddy' with her tongue, fishes out the three-obol coin.
§610καὶ τὸ γύναιόν μʼ ὑποθωπεῦσαν φυστὴν μᾶζαν προσενέγκῃ, §611κἄπειτα καθεζομένη παρʼ ἐμοὶ προσαναγκάζῃ,
φάγε τουτί, §612ἔντραγε τουτί· τούτοισιν ἐγὼ γάνυμαι, κοὐ μή με δεήσῃ §613ἐς σὲ βλέψαι καὶ τὸν ταμίαν, ὁπότʼ ἄριστον παραθήσει §614καταρασάμενος καὶ τονθορύσας.
And my wife, flattering me, brings me a well-kneaded barley cake, and then, sitting beside me, coaxes me: 'Eat this,' 'nibble this.' I delight in these things, and there will be no need at all for me to look at you and the steward, when he serves lunch with curses and grumblings.
ἀλλʼ ἢν μή μοι ταχὺ μάξῃ, §615τάδε κέκτημαι πρόβλημα κακῶν, σκευὴν βελέων ἀλεωρήν.
But if you do not quickly knead a cake for me, I have these things as a defense against evils, an armor to protect against missiles.
§616κἂν οἶνόν μοι μὴ ʼγχῇς σὺ πιεῖν, τὸν ὄνον τόνδʼ ἐσκεκόμισμαι §617οἴνου μεστόν, κᾆτʼ ἐγχέομαι κλίνας· οὗτος δὲ κεχηνὼς §618βρωμησάμενος τοῦ σοῦ δίνου μέγα καὶ στράτιον κατέπαρδεν.
And if you do not pour wine for me to drink, I have brought in this donkey (jar) full of wine, and then I pour for myself, tilting it; and this donkey, gaping and braying, let out a great, military-style fart against your bowl.
Do I not then hold a great empire, in no way inferior to Zeus, since I hear the very same things as Zeus?
§622ἢν γοῦν ἡμεῖς θορυβήσωμεν, §623πᾶς τίς φησιν τῶν παριόντων, §624οἷον βροντᾷ τὸ δικαστήριον, §625ὦ Ζεῦ βασιλεῦ. §626κἂν ἀστράψω, ποππύζουσιν §627κἀγκεχόδασίν μʼ οἱ πλουτοῦντες §627aκαὶ πάνυ σεμνοί.
At any rate, if we make a noise, everyone passing by says: 'How the court thunders, O King Zeus!' And if I flash lightning (bellow), the wealthy and the very solemn ones puff their lips and defecate on me out of fear.
§628καὶ σὺ δέδοικάς με μάλιστʼ αὐτός· §629νὴ τὴν Δήμητρα δέδοικας, ἐγὼ δʼ §630ἀπολοίμην εἴ σε δέδοικα.
And you yourself fear me most of all; by Demeter, you fear me, but may I perish if I fear you.
Never yet so clearly have we heard anyone speak so wisely.
§634οὔκ, ἀλλʼ ἐρήμας ᾤεθʼ οὕτω ῥᾳδίως τρυγήσειν.
No, but he thought he would thus easily harvest an empty vineyard (i.e. win without effort).
§635καλῶς γὰρ ᾔδειν ὡς ἐγὼ ταύτῃ κράτιστός εἰμι.
For I knew well that I am strongest in this way.
§636ὡς δʼ ἐπὶ πάντʼ ἐλήλυθεν §637κοὐδὲν παρῆλθεν, ὥστʼ ἔγωγʼ §638ηὐξανόμην ἀκούων, §639κἀν μακάρων δικάζειν §640αὐτὸς ἔδοξα νήσοις, §641ἡδόμενος λέγοντι.
How he has gone over everything and passed over nothing, so that I felt myself growing as I listened, and seemed to myself to be judging in the Islands of the Blessed, delighting in his speaking.
§642ὡς οὗτος ἤδη σκορδινᾶται κἄστιν οὐκ ἐν αὑτοῦ.
Look how this fellow is already squirming and is not in his right mind.
§643ἦ μὴν ἐγώ σε τήμερον σκύτη βλέπειν ποιήσω.
Indeed, today I will make you look at leather (i.e. look cowed or face the whip).
You must weave all kinds of devices to escape.
For it is difficult to soften my anger for a young man who does not speak on my side.
§648πρὸς ταῦτα μύλην ἀγαθὴν ὥρα ζητεῖν σοι καὶ νεόκοπτον, §649ἢν μή τι λέγῃς, ἥτις δυνατὴ τὸν ἐμὸν θυμὸν κατερεῖξαι.
Therefore, it is time for you to look for a good and newly cut millstone, unless you speak something that is able to crush my anger.
§650χαλεπὸν μὲν καὶ δεινῆς γνώμης καὶ μείζονος ἢ ʼπὶ τρυγῳδοῖς §651ἰάσασθαι νόσον ἀρχαίαν ἐν τῇ πόλει ἐντετοκυῖαν.
It is difficult, and requires a great mind, and one larger than for comic poets, to cure an ancient disease bred in the city.
But, O our father, son of Cronus— Stop and do not 'father' me.
§653εἰ μὴ γὰρ ὅπως δουλεύω ʼγώ, τουτὶ ταχέως με διδάξεις, §654οὐκ ἔστιν ὅπως οὐχὶ τεθνήξεις, κἂν χρῇ σπλάγχνων μʼ ἀπέχεσθαι.
For if you do not quickly teach me this, how I am a slave, there is no way you will not die, even if I must abstain from the sacrificial meats.
§655ἀκρόασαί νυν ὦ παππίδιον χαλάσας ὀλίγον τὸ μέτωπον· §656καὶ πρῶτον μὲν λόγισαι φαύλως, μὴ ψήφοις ἀλλʼ ἀπὸ χειρός, §657τὸν φόρον ἡμῖν ἀπὸ τῶν πόλεων συλλήβδην τὸν προσιόντα· §658κἄξω τούτου τὰ τέλη χωρὶς καὶ τὰς πολλὰς ἑκατοστάς, §659πρυτανεῖα μέταλλʼ ἀγορὰς λιμένας μεσθοὺς καὶ δημιόπρατα.
Listen now, daddy, relaxing your brow a little; and first calculate roughly, not with pebbles but on your fingers, the tribute coming in to us collectively from the cities; and besides this, the taxes separately, and the many one-percent taxes, court-deposits, mines, markets, harbors, rents, and confiscated properties.
§660τούτων πλήρωμα τάλαντʼ ἐγγὺς δισχίλια γίγνεται ἡμῖν.
The total of these comes to nearly two thousand talents for us.
§661ἀπὸ τούτου νυν κατάθες μισθὸν τοῖσι δικασταῖς ἐνιαυτοῦ §662ἓξ χιλιάσιν, κοὔπω πλείους ἐν τῇ χώρᾳ κατένασθεν, §663γίγνεται ἡμῖν ἑκατὸν δήπου καὶ πεντήκοντα τάλαντα.
From this now, set down the pay for the judges for a year, for six thousand—and not yet have more settled in this land— it comes to, I suppose, one hundred and fifty talents for us.
§664οὐδʼ ἡ δεκάτη τῶν προσιόντων ἡμῖν ἄρʼ ἐγίγνεθʼ ὁ μισθός.
Not even a tenth of our incoming revenues, then, was our pay!