§527γυμνασίου δεῖ τι λέγειν §528καινόν, ὅπως φανήσει — §529ἐνεγκάτω μοι δεῦρο τὴν κίστην τις ὡς τάχιστα.
I need to state some new kind of intellectual exercise, so that it will be revealed— Let someone bring the writing-case here to me as quickly as possible.
§530ἀτὰρ φανεῖ ποῖός τις ὤν, ἢν ταῦτα παρακελεύῃ;
But what kind of person will you turn out to be, if you command such things?
ὁρᾷς γὰρ ὥς §533σοι μέγας ἐστὶν ἁγὼν §534καὶ περὶ τῶν ἁπάντων, §535εἴπερ, ὃ μὴ γένοιθʼ, οὗτός §536σʼ ἐθέλει κρατῆσαι.
For you see how great a struggle is yours and concerning all things, if indeed—which may it not happen—this man wishes to defeat you.
§537καὶ μὴν ὅσʼ ἂν λέξῃ γʼ ἁπλῶς μνημόσυνα γράψομαι ʼγώ.
And indeed, whatever he says, I will simply write down as a memorandum.
§538τί γὰρ φάθʼ ὑμεῖς, ἢν ὁδί με τῷ λόγῳ κρατήσῃ;
For what will you say, if this fellow defeats me in argument?
§540οὐκέτι πρεσβυτῶν ὄχλος §541χρήσιμος ἔστʼ οὐδʼ ἀκαρῆ· §542σκωπτόμενοι δʼ ἐν ταῖς ὁδοῖς §543θαλλοφόροι καλούμεθʼ, ἀντωμοσιῶν §545κελύφη.
No longer will the crowd of old men be useful, not even a tiny bit; and being mocked in the streets, we shall be called 'olive-branch-bearers', shells of sworn affidavits.
§546ἀλλʼ ὦ περὶ τῆς πάσης μέλλων βασιλείας ἀντιλογήσειν §547τῆς ἡμετέρας, νυνὶ θαρρῶν πᾶσαν γλῶτταν βασάνιζε.
But, O you who are about to speak in defense of our whole empire, now with courage test your every tongue.
§548καὶ μὴν εὐθύς γʼ ἀπὸ βαλβίδων περὶ τῆς ἀρχῆς ἀποδείξω §549τῆς ἡμετέρας ὡς οὐδεμιᾶς ἥττων ἐστὶν βασιλείας.
And indeed, straight from the starting-line, I will demonstrate concerning our rule, that it is inferior to no empire.
§550τί γὰρ εὔδαιμον καὶ μακαριστὸν μᾶλλον νῦν ἐστὶ δικαστοῦ, §551ἢ τρυφερώτερον ἢ δεινότερον ζῷον, καὶ ταῦτα γέροντος;
For what is now more happy and blessed than a judge, or what creature is more luxurious or more fearsome, and that too, an old man?
§552ὃν πρῶτα μὲν ἕρποντʼ ἐξ εὐνῆς τηροῦσʼ ἐπὶ τοῖσι δρυφάκτοις §553ἄνδρες μεγάλοι καὶ τετραπήχεις· κἄπειτʼ εὐθὺς προσιόντι §554ἐμβάλλει μοι τὴν χεῖρʼ ἁπαλὴν τῶν δημοσίων κεκλοφυῖαν· §555ἱκετεύουσίν θʼ ὑποκύπτοντες τὴν φωνὴν οἰκτροχοοῦντες· §556ʼοʼἴκτιρόν μʼ ὦ πάτερ, αἰτοῦμαί σʼ, εἰ καὐτὸς πώποθʼ ὑφείλου §557ἀρχὴν ἄρξας ἢ ʼπὶ στρατιᾶς τοῖς ξυσσίτοις ἀγοράζων· ʼ §558ὃς ἔμʼ οὐδʼ ἂν ζῶντʼ ᾔδειν εἰ μὴ διὰ τὴν προτέραν ἀπόφυξιν.
Whom first, as he creeps from his bed, tall men four cubits high watch for at the railings; and then, as he straightway approaches, he puts into my hand his soft hand, which has stolen from the public funds; and they supplicate, bowing down and pouring out a pitiful voice: 'Pity me, O father, I beg you, if you yourself ever pocketed anything, when holding an office or when buying provisions for your messmates in the army.' A man who would not even have known I was alive, were it not for his former acquittal.
§559τουτὶ περὶ τῶν ἀντιβολούντων ἔστω τὸ μνημόσυνόν μοι.
Let this be my memorandum concerning the supplicants.
§560εἶτʼ εἰσελθὼν ἀντιβοληθεὶς καὶ τὴν ὀργὴν ἀπομορχθεὶς §561ἔνδον τούτων ὧν ἂν φάσκω πάντων οὐδὲν πεποίηκα, §562ἀλλʼ ἀκροῶμαι πάσας φωνὰς ἱέντων εἰς ἀπόφυξιν.
Then having entered, having been supplicated, and having my anger wiped away, once inside I do nothing of all these things which I declare I will do; but I listen to all the voices they utter to get acquitted.
§563φέρʼ ἴδω, τί γὰρ οὐκ ἔστιν ἀκοῦσαι θώπευμʼ ἐνταῦθα δικαστῇ;
Come, let me see, for what flattery is there not for a judge to hear there?
§564οἱ μέν γʼ ἀποκλάονται πενίαν αὑτῶν καὶ προστιθέασι §565κακὰ πρὸς τοῖς οὖσιν, † ἕως ἀνιῶν ἂν ἰσώσῃ τοῖσιν ἐμοῖσιν· †
Some indeed wail about their own poverty and add evils to those they already have, until by making his troubles equal to mine.
§566οἱ δὲ λέγουσιν μύθους ἡμῖν, οἱ δʼ Αἰσώπου τι γέλοιον· §567οἱ δὲ σκώπτουσʼ, ἵνʼ ἐγὼ γελάσω καὶ τὸν θυμὸν καταθῶμαι.
Others tell us myths, and others some joke of Aesop; and others make jests, so that I may laugh and lay aside my anger.
§568κἂν μὴ τούτοις ἀναπειθώμεσθα, τὰ παιδάριʼ εὐθὺς ἀνέλκει §569τὰς θηλείας καὶ τοὺς υἱεῖς τῆς χειρός, ἐγὼ δʼ ἀκροῶμαι· §570τὰ δὲ συγκύψανθʼ ἅμα βληχᾶται· κἄπειθʼ ὁ πατὴρ ὑπὲρ αὐτῶν §571ὥσπερ θεὸν ἀντιβολεῖ με τρέμων τῆς εὐθύνης ἀπολῦσαι· §572εἰ μὲν χαίρεις ἀρνὸς φωνῇ, παιδὸς φωνὴν ἐλεήσαις· §573εἰ δʼ αὖ τοῖς χοιριδίοις χαίρω, θυγατρὸς φωνῇ με πιθέσθαι. §574χἠμεῖς αὐτῷ τότε τῆς ὀργῆς ὀλίγον τὸν κόλλοπʼ ἀνεῖμεν.
And if we are not persuaded by these, he immediately drags up his children, the daughters and the sons, by the hand, while I listen; and they, huddled together, bleat at the same time; and then the father on their behalf supplicates me as if a god, trembling, to acquit him of his audit: 'If indeed you delight in the voice of a lamb, show mercy to the voice of my son; and if on the other hand you delight in piglets, let yourself be persuaded by the daughter's voice.' And we then loosen for him a little of the tuning-peg of our anger.
§575ἆρʼ οὐ μεγάλη τοῦτʼ ἔστʼ ἀρχὴ καὶ τοῦ πλούτου καταχήνη;
Is this not a great empire, and a mocking of wealth?
§576δεύτερον αὖ σου τουτὶ γράφομαι, τὴν τοῦ πλούτου καταχήνην· §577καὶ τἀγαθά μοι μέμνησʼ ἅχεις φάσκων τῆς Ἑλλάδος ἄρχειν.
This again I write down as your second point, the mocking of wealth; and remember to tell me the benefits you have, while claiming to rule Greece.
§578παίδων τοίνυν δοκιμαζομένων αἰδοῖα πάρεστι θεᾶσθαι.
Well then, when boys are examined, it is possible to look at their private parts.
§579κἂν Οἴαγρος εἰσέλθῃ φεύγων, οὐκ ἀποφεύγει πρὶν ἂν ἡμῖν §580ἐκ τῆς Νιόβης εἴπῃ ῥῆσιν τὴν καλλίστην ἀπολέξας.
And if Oeagrus enters as a defendant, he does not get acquitted until he speaks to us the finest speech selected from his Niobe.
§581κἂν αὐλητής γε δίκην νικᾷ, ταύτης ἡμῖν ἐπίχειρα §582ἐν φορβειᾷ τοῖσι δικασταῖς ἔξοδον ηὔλησʼ ἀπιοῦσι.
And if a flute-player wins his lawsuit, as a reward for this, wearing his mouth-guard, he plays a departing tune for the judges as they go out.
§583κἂν ἀποθνῄσκων ὁ πατήρ τῳ δῷ καταλείπων παῖδʼ ἐπίκληρον, §584κλάειν ἡμεῖς μακρὰ τὴν κεφαλὴν εἰπόντες τῇ διαθήκῃ §585καὶ τῇ κόγχῃ τῇ πάνυ σεμνῶς τοῖς σημείοισιν ἐπούσῃ, §586ἔδομεν ταύτην ὅστις ἂν ἡμᾶς ἀντιβολήσας ἀναπείσῃ.
And if a dying father, leaving behind an heiress daughter, gives her to someone, we, telling the testament and the shell that sits so solemnly on the seals to go hang, give her to whoever persuades us by supplicating.
§587καὶ ταῦτʼ ἀνυπεύθυνοι δρῶμεν, τῶν δʼ ἄλλων οὐδεμἴ ἀρχή.
And we do these things without being held accountable, whereas no other office can.
§588τουτὶ γάρ τοι σεμνόν, τούτων ὧν εἴρηκας μακαρίζω· §589τῆς δʼ ἐπικλήρου τὴν διαθήκην ἀδικεῖς ἀνακογχυλιάζων.
For this is indeed grand; of the things you have said, I congratulate you on this; but you do wrong in breaking open the testament of the heiress.
§590ἔτι δʼ ἡ βουλὴ χὠ δῆμος ὅταν κρῖναι μέγα πρᾶγμʼ ἀπορήσῃ §591ἐψήφισται τοὺς ἀδικοῦντας τοῖσι δικασταῖς παραδοῦναι· §592εἶτʼ Εὔαθλος χὠ μέγας οὗτος Κολακώνυμος ἀσπιδαποβλὴς §593οὐχὶ προδώσειν ἡμᾶς φασίν, περὶ τοῦ πλήθους δὲ μαχεῖσθαι.
Moreover, when the Council and the Assembly are at a loss to judge a great matter, they pass a decree to hand over those who do wrong to the judges; then Euathlus and this great shield-flinging Colaconymus say they will not betray us, but will fight for the multitude.