At any rate, now you see them, unless your eyes are run with pumpkins. Yes, by Zeus, I do, O highly honored ones!
πάντα γὰρ ἤδη κατέχουσιν. §329ταύτας μέντοι σὺ θεὰς οὔσας οὐκ ᾔδησθʼ οὐδʼ ἐνόμιζες; §330μὰ Δίʼ ἀλλʼ ὁμίχλην καὶ δρόσον αὐτὰς ἡγούμην καὶ καπνὸν εἶναι. §331οὐ γὰρ μὰ Δίʼ οἶσθʼ ὁτιὴ πλείστους αὗται βόσκουσι σοφιστάς, §332Θουριομάντεις ἰατροτέχνας σφραγιδονυχαργοκομήτας, §333κυκλίων τε χορῶν ᾀσματοκάμπτας ἄνδρας μετεωροφένακας, §334οὐδὲν δρῶντας βόσκουσʼ ἀργούς, ὅτι ταύτας μουσοποιοῦσιν. §335ταῦτʼ ἄρʼ ἐποίουν ὑγρᾶν Νεφελᾶν στρεπταιγλᾶν δάιον ὁρμάν, §336πλοκάμους θʼ ἑκατογκεφάλα Τυφῶ πρημαινούσας τε θυέλλας, §337εἶτʼ ἀερίας διεράς, γαμψοὺς οἰωνοὺς ἀερονηχεῖς, §338ὄμβρους θʼ ὑδάτων δροσερᾶν Νεφελᾶν· εἶτʼ ἀντʼ αὐτῶν κατέπινον §339κεστρᾶν τεμάχη μεγαλᾶν ἀγαθᾶν κρέα τʼ ὀρνίθεια κιχηλᾶν. §340διὰ μέντοι τάσδʼ οὐχὶ δικαίως; §340bλέξον δή μοι, τί παθοῦσαι, §341εἴπερ νεφέλαι γʼ εἰσὶν ἀληθῶς, θνηταῖς εἴξασι γυναιξίν; §342οὐ γὰρ ἐκεῖναί γʼ εἰσὶ τοιαῦται. §342bφέρε ποῖαι γάρ τινές εἰσιν; §343οὐκ οἶδα σαφῶς· εἴξασιν γοῦν ἐρίοισιν πεπταμένοισιν, §344κοὐχὶ γυναιξὶν μὰ Δίʼ οὐδʼ ὁτιοῦν· αὗται δὲ ῥῖνας ἔχουσιν. §345ἀπόκριναί νυν ἅττʼ ἂν ἔρωμαι. §345bλέγε νυν ταχέως ὅ τι βούλει. §346ἤδη ποτʼ ἀναβλέψας εἶδες νεφέλην κενταύρῳ ὁμοίαν, §347ἢ παρδάλει ἢ λύκῳ ἢ ταύρῳ;
For they already occupy everything. Did you not know indeed that these were goddesses, nor believe it? No, by Zeus, but I thought they were mist, dew, and smoke. For indeed, by Zeus, you do not know that these nurture a vast number of sophists, Thurian prophets, medical charlatans, ring-wearing, lazy, long-haired fellows, and song-twisters of cyclic choruses, and meteorological tricksters, they nurture these idle people who do nothing, because they celebrate these in song. So that was why they wrote of "the violent onslaught of wet, light-twisting Clouds," and "the tresses of hundred-headed Typhon," and "raging tempests," then "moist aerial ones," "crooked-clawed birds swimming in the air," and "showers of waters of dewy Clouds." And then, in return for these, they would gulp down slices of large, excellent mullets, and the meat of thrush-birds. But is it not justly so, on account of these? Tell me then, what has happened to them that, if indeed they are truly clouds, they resemble mortal women? For those clouds are not like that. Come, what are they like then? I don't know clearly; at any rate, they resemble spread-out wool, and not to women, by Zeus, not in the least; but these ones have noses. Answer then whatever I may ask. Speak then quickly whatever you want. Have you ever looked up and seen a cloud resembling a centaur, or a leopard, or a wolf, or a bull? Yes, by Zeus, I have.
Then what of it? They become everything they want.
κᾆτʼ ἢν μὲν ἴδωσι κομήτην §349ἄγριόν τινα τῶν λασίων τούτων, οἷόνπερ τὸν Ξενοφάντου, §350σκώπτουσαι τὴν μανίαν αὐτοῦ κενταύροις ᾔκασαν αὑτάς. §351τί γὰρ ἢν ἅρπαγα τῶν δημοσίων κατίδωσι Σίμωνα, τί δρῶσιν; §352ἀποφαίνουσαι τὴν φύσιν αὐτοῦ λύκοι ἐξαίφνης ἐγένοντο. §353ταῦτʼ ἄρα ταῦτα Κλεώνυμον αὗται τὸν ῥίψασπιν χθὲς ἰδοῦσαι, §354ὅτι δειλότατον τοῦτον ἑώρων, ἔλαφοι διὰ τοῦτʼ ἐγένοντο. §355καὶ νῦν γʼ ὅτι Κλεισθένη εἶδον, ὁρᾷς, διὰ τοῦτʼ ἐγένοντο γυναῖκες. §356χαίρετε τοίνυν ὦ δέσποιναι·
And so, if they see a long-haired, wild fellow among these shaggy ones, such as the son of Xenophantus, mocking his madness, they liken themselves to centaurs. What then if they spot Simon, the plunderer of public property, what do they do? Revealing his nature, they suddenly become wolves. For this very reason, having seen Cleonymus yesterday, the shield-dropper, because they saw he was the most cowardly of men, they became deer for this reason. And now indeed, because they saw Cleisthenes, you see, they became women for this reason. Hail then, O mistresses!
καὶ νῦν, εἴπερ τινὶ κἄλλῳ, §357οὐρανομήκη ῥήξατε κἀμοὶ φωνήν, ὦ παμβασίλειαι. §358χαῖρʼ ὦ πρεσβῦτα παλαιογενὲς θηρατὰ λόγων φιλομούσων, §359σύ τε λεπτοτάτων λήρων ἱερεῦ, φράζε πρὸς ἡμᾶς ὅ τι χρῄζεις· §360οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἄλλῳ γʼ ὑπακούσαιμεν τῶν νῦν μετεωροσοφιστῶν §361πλὴν ἢ Προδίκῳ, τῷ μὲν σοφίας καὶ γνώμης οὕνεκα, σοὶ δέ, §362ὅτι βρενθύει τʼ ἐν ταῖσιν ὁδοῖς καὶ τὠφθαλμὼ παραβάλλεις, §363κἀνυπόδητος κακὰ πόλλʼ ἀνέχει κἀφʼ ἡμῖν σεμνοπροσωπεῖς.
And now, if indeed to anyone else, burst forth for me too a voice that reaches heaven, O all-sovereign queens. Hail, O elder of ancient race, hunter of muse-loving words, and you, priest of subtlest trifles, tell us what you desire; for we would not listen to any other of the current meteorological sophists except Prodicus—to him on account of his wisdom and judgment, but to you because you strut in the streets and cast your eyes askance, and go barefoot, enduring many hardships, and put on a solemn face depending on us. O Earth, what a voice!
§364ὦ γῆ τοῦ φθέγματος, ὡς ἱερὸν καὶ σεμνὸν καὶ τερατῶδες. §365αὗται γάρ τοι μόναι εἰσὶ θεαί, τἄλλα δὲ πάντʼ ἐστὶ φλύαρος. §366ὁ Ζεὺς δʼ ἡμῖν, φέρε πρὸς τῆς γῆς, οὑλύμπιος οὐ θεός ἐστιν;
How sacred and solemn and wondrous! For indeed, these alone are goddesses; all other things are nonsense. But Zeus, come, by the Earth, Olympian Zeus, is he not a god for us? What Zeus?
§367ποῖος Ζεύς; οὐ μὴ ληρήσεις·
Don't talk nonsense!
There is not even a Zeus. What are you saying? Then who rains?
τουτὶ γὰρ ἔμοιγʼ ἀπόφηναι πρῶτον ἁπάντων. §369αὗται δήπου·
Explain this to me first of all. These, of course!
μεγάλοις δέ σʼ ἐγὼ σημείοις αὐτὸ διδάξω. §370φέρε ποῦ γὰρ πώποτʼ ἄνευ Νεφελῶν ὕοντʼ ἤδη τεθέασαι; §371καίτοι χρῆν αἰθρίας ὕειν αὐτόν, ταύτας δʼ ἀποδημεῖν. §372νὴ τὸν Ἀπόλλω τοῦτό γέ τοι δὴ τῷ νῦν λόγῳ εὖ προσέφυσας· §373καίτοι πρότερον τὸν Δίʼ ἀληθῶς ᾤμην διὰ κοσκίνου οὐρεῖν. §374ἀλλʼ ὅστις ὁ βροντῶν ἐστι φράσον· τοῦτό με ποιεῖ τετρεμαίνειν. §375αὗται βροντῶσι κυλινδόμεναι. §375bτῷ τρόπῳ ὦ πάντα σὺ τολμῶν; §376ὅταν ἐμπλησθῶσʼ ὕδατος πολλοῦ κἀναγκασθῶσι φέρεσθαι, §377κατακρημνάμεναι πλήρεις ὄμβρου διʼ ἀνάγκην, εἶτα βαρεῖαι §378εἰς ἀλλήλας ἐμπίπτουσαι ῥήγνυνται καὶ παταγοῦσιν.
And I will teach you this by great proofs. Come, where have you ever seen it raining without Clouds? And yet, he ought to rain in a clear sky, while these were away. By Apollo, you have fitted this indeed very well to the present argument! And yet, previously I truly thought Zeus urinated through a sieve. But tell me who it is that thunders; that is what makes me tremble. These thunder, by rolling. In what way, O you who dare anything? When they are filled with much water and are forced to move, hanging down full of rain by necessity, and then, being heavy, colliding with one another, they burst and make a crashing sound. But who is it that forces them to move?
Is it not Zeus? Not in the least, but the ethereal Vortex. Vortex?
§380bΔῖνος; τουτί μʼ ἐλελήθειν, §381ὁ Ζεὺς οὐκ ὤν, ἀλλʼ ἀντʼ αὐτοῦ Δῖνος νυνὶ βασιλεύων. §382ἀτὰρ οὐδέν πω περὶ τοῦ πατάγου καὶ τῆς βροντῆς μʼ ἐδίδαξας. §383οὐκ ἤκουσάς μου τὰς Νεφέλας ὕδατος μεστὰς ὅτι φημὶ §384ἐμπιπτούσας εἰς ἀλλήλας παταγεῖν διὰ τὴν πυκνότητα;
This had escaped me: Zeus not existing, but instead of him Vortex now reigning. But you have taught me nothing yet about the crashing and the thunder. Did you not hear me say that the Clouds, being full of water, colliding with one another, make a crash because of their density?