§88καὶ ναὶ μὰ Δίʼ ὄρνιν τριπλάσιον Κλεωνύμου §89παρέθηκεν ἡμῖν· ὄνομα δʼ ἦν αὐτῷ φέναξ. §90ταῦτʼ ἄρ ἐφενάκιζες σὺ δύο δραχμὰς φέρων.
And yes, by Zeus, he served us a bird three times the size of Cleonymus; and its name was "Gull." So that was how you were gulling us while drawing two drachmas.
And now we have come bringing Pseudartabas, the King's Eye.
Dicaeopolis: May a crow strike and knock it out, and yours too, you ambassador!
§94ὁ βασιλέως ὀφθαλμός.
Herald: The King's Eye!
§94bὦναξ Ἡράκλεις.
Dicaeopolis: O Lord Heracles!
§95πρὸς τῶν θεῶν ἄνθρωπε ναύφαρκτον βλέπεις;
By the gods, man, are you looking with a warship's look?
§96ἢ περὶ ἄκραν κάμπτων νεώσοικον σκοπεῖς;
Or are you rounding a cape and looking at a dockyard?
§97ἄσκωμʼ ἔχεις που περὶ τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν κάτω.
You must have an oar-sleeve somewhere below your eye.
Come now, tell us what the King sent you to say to the Athenians, Pseudartabas.
§100ἰαρταμὰν ἐξάρξαν ἀπισσόνα σάτρα.
Pseudartabas: Iartaman exarxan apissona satra.
§101ξυνήκαθʼ ὃ λέγει;
Ambassador: Did you understand what he says?
§101bμὰ τὸν Ἀπόλλω ʼγὼ μὲν οὔ.
Dicaeopolis: By Apollo, not I!
§102πέμψειν βασιλέα φησὶν ὑμῖν χρυσίον.
Ambassador: He says the King will send you gold.
§103λέγε δὴ σὺ μεῖζον καὶ σαφῶς τὸ χρυσίον.
Dicaeopolis: Speak louder and clearly about the gold!
§104οὐ λῆψι χρῦσο χαυνόπρωκτʼ Ἰαοναῦ.
Pseudartabas: No get gold, gap-assed Ionians!
§105οἴμοι κακοδαίμων ὡς σαφῶς.
Dicaeopolis: Heavens, how miserably clear!
§105bτί δʼ αὖ λέγει;
Ambassador: What does he say now?
§106ὅ τι;
Dicaeopolis: What?
χαυνοπρώκτους τοὺς Ἰάονας λέγει, §107εἰ προσδοκῶσι χρυσίον ἐκ τῶν βαρβάρων.
He calls the Ionians slack-assed, if they expect gold from the barbarians.
§108οὔκ, ἀλλʼ ἀχάνας ὅδε γε χρυσίου λέγει.
Ambassador: No, but he speaks of bushels of gold!
§109ποίας ἀχάνας;
Dicaeopolis: What bushels?
σὺ μὲν ἀλαζὼν εἶ μέγας.
You are a big humbug.
§110ἀλλʼ ἄπιθʼ· ἐγὼ δὲ βασανιῶ τοῦτον μόνος.
Go away; I will question this man alone.
§111ἄγε δὴ σὺ φράσον ἐμοὶ σαφῶς πρὸς τουτονί, §112ἵνα μή σε βάψω βάμμα Σαρδιανικόν· §113βασιλεὺς ὁ μέγας ἡμῖν ἀποπέμψει χρυσίον; (ἀνανεύει. ) §114ἄλλως ἄρʼ ἐξαπατώμεθʼ ὑπὸ τῶν πρέσβεων; (ἐπινεύει. ) §115Ἑλληνικόν γʼ ἐπένευσαν ἅνδρες οὑτοιί, §116κοὐκ ἔσθʼ ὅπως οὐκ εἰσὶν ἐνθένδʼ αὐτόθεν.
Come now, speak clearly to me in front of this fist, lest I dye you a Sardian dye; Will the Great King send us gold? (He shakes his head.) Are we then being deceived in vain by the ambassadors? (He nods.) These men nodded in a Greek way, and there is no way they are not from right here.
And as for these two eunuchs, this one here I know who he is: Cleisthenes, the son of Sibyrtius.
§119ὦ θερμόβουλον πρωκτὸν ἐξυρημένε,
O you with your hot-headed shaved backside!
With such a beard, you monkey, did you come to us disguised as a eunuch?
§122ὁδὶ δὲ τίς ποτʼ ἐστίν;
And who on earth is this other one?
οὐ δήπου Στράτων;
Surely not Straton?
§123σίγα, κάθιζε.
Herald: Silence! Sit down!
The Council invites the King's Eye to the Prytaneum.
§125bταῦτα δῆτʼ οὐχ ἀγχόνη;
Dicaeopolis: Isn't this enough to make one hang oneself?
And then do I linger here wasting my time, while the door is never shut against entertaining them.
§128ἀλλʼ ἐργάσομαί τι δεινὸν ἔργον καὶ μέγα.
But I will do a terrible and great deed.
§129ἀλλʼ Ἀμφίθεός μοι ποῦ ʼστιν;
But where is Amphitheus for me?
§129bοὑτοσὶ πάρα.
Amphitheus: Here I am!
§130ἐμοὶ σὺ ταυτασὶ λαβὼν ὀκτὼ δραχμὰς §131σπονδὰς ποίησαι πρὸς Λακεδαιμονίους μόνῳ §132καὶ τοῖσι παιδίοισι καὶ τῇ πλάτιδι·
Dicaeopolis: Take these eight drachmas for me, and make a treaty with the Lacedaemonians for me alone, and for my children and my wife.
§133ὑμεῖς δὲ πρεσβεύεσθε καὶ κεχήνετε.
And you others, go on your embassies and keep gaping!
§134προσίτω Θέωρος ὁ παρὰ Σιτάλκους.
Herald: Let Theorus, the envoy from Sitalces, come forward.
§134bὁδί.
Theorus: Here.
§135ἕτερος ἀλαζὼν οὗτος ἐσκηρύττεται.
Dicaeopolis: Here is another humbug being announced!
Theorus: We would not have stayed long in Thrace— Dicaeopolis: By Zeus, you wouldn't, if you weren't drawing a big salary!
§138εἰ μὴ κατένειψε χιόνι τὴν Θρᾴκην ὅλην §139καὶ τοὺς ποταμοὺς ἔπηξʼ, ὑπʼ αὐτὸν τὸν χρόνον, §140ὅτʼ ἐνθαδὶ Θέογνις ἠγωνίζετο.
Theorus: —if all Thrace had not been covered with snow and the rivers frozen, at the very time when Theognis was competing here.
§141τοῦτον μετὰ Σιτάλκους ἔπινον τὸν χρόνον· §142καὶ δῆτα φιλαθήναιος ἦν ὑπερφυῶς, §143ὑμῶν τʼ ἐραστὴς ἦν ἀληθὴς ὥστε καὶ §144ἐν τοῖσι τοίχοις ἔγραφʼ, Ἀθηναῖοι καλοί. §145ὁ δʼ υἱός, ὃν Ἀθηναῖον ἐπεποιήμεθα, §146ἤρα φαγεῖν ἀλλᾶντας ἐξ Ἀπατουρίων, §147καὶ τὸν πατέρʼ ἠντεβόλει βοηθεῖν τῇ πάτρᾳ· §148ὁ δʼ ὤμοσε σπένδων βοηθήσειν ἔχων §149στρατιὰν τοσαύτην ὥστʼ Ἀθηναίους ἐρεῖν, §150ὅσον τὸ χρῆμα παρνόπων προσέρχεται. §151κάκιστʼ ἀπολοίμην, εἴ τι τούτων πείθομαι §152ὧν εἶπας ἐνταυθοῖ σὺ πλὴν τῶν παρνόπων.
During this time, I was drinking with Sitalces; and indeed he was extraordinarily fond of Athens, and was your true lover, so that he even wrote on the walls, "Beautiful Athenians." And his son, whom we had made an Athenian, longed to eat sausages from the Apaturia, and entreated his father to help his fatherland; and he swore, pouring libations, that he would help us, having an army so great that the Athenians would say, "What a swarm of locusts is coming!" Dicaeopolis: May I perish miserably if I believe a word of this which you have said here, except about the locusts.
Theorus: And now he has sent to you the most warlike tribe of Thracians.
§154bτοῦτο μέν γʼ ἤδη σαφές.
Dicaeopolis: Well, this is clear enough now.
§155οἱ Θρᾷκες ἴτε δεῦρʼ, οὓς Θέωρος ἤγαγεν.
Herald: Thracians, whom Theorus brought, come forward!
§156τουτὶ τί ἐστι τὸ κακόν;
Dicaeopolis: What on earth is this plague?
§156bὈδομάντων στρατός.
Theorus: The army of the Odomantians.
§157ποίων Ὀδομάντων;
Dicaeopolis: What Odomantians?
εἰπέ μοι τουτὶ τί ἦν;
Tell me, what is this?
§158τίς τῶν Ὀδομάντων τὸ πέος ἀποτεθρίακεν;
Who has circumcised the penises of these Odomantians?
Theorus: If someone pays these men two drachmas in wages, they will overrun all Boeotia with light shields.
§161τοισδὶ δύο δραχμὰς τοῖς ἀπεψωλημένοις;
Dicaeopolis: Two drachmas to these skinless fellows?
Truly the rowers on the top bench, the saviors of the city, would groan.
οἴμοι τάλας ἀπόλλυμαι, §164ὑπὸ τῶν Ὀδομάντων τὰ σκόροδα πορθούμενος.
Oh, unhappy me, I am ruined, being pillaged of my garlic by the Odomantians!
§165οὐ καταβαλεῖτε τὰ σκόροδʼ;
Won't you put down the garlic?
Theorus: You wretched man, do not go near these men who have been primed with garlic!
Dicaeopolis: Do you, prytaneis, overlook my suffering these things in my homeland, and that too at the hands of barbarians?