§4Haec egomet saepe mecum.
This I often thought to myself.
nam et ipse quam plurimis uitae prioris erroribus inplicatus tenebar, quibus exui me posse non crederem: sic uitiis adhaerentibus obsecundans eram, desperatione meliorum malis meis uelut iam propriis ac uernaculis et fauebam.
For I myself was held bound, entangled in very many errors of my previous life, from which I did not believe I could be freed: so subservient was I to the clinging vices, and from despair of better things I even favored my evils as if they were already my own and domestic.
sed postquam undae genetalis auxilio superioris aeui labe detersa in expiatum pectus ac purum desuper se lumen infudit, postquam caelitus spiritu hausto in nonum me hominem natiuitas secunda reparauit, mirum in modum protinus confirmare se dubia, patere clausa, lucere tenebrosa, facultatem dare quod prius difficile uidebatur, geri posse quod inpossibile putabatur, ut esset agnoscere terrenum fuisse, quod prius carnaliter natum delictis obnoxium uiueret, Dei esse coepisse, quod iam Spiritus sanctus animaret.
But after, by the help of the generative water, the stain of my former life was washed away, and a light from above infused itself into my expiated and pure breast; after, having drawn in the spirit from heaven, a second birth restored me into a new man, immediately in a wonderful manner doubtful things began to confirm themselves, closed things to open, dark things to shine, and that which previously seemed difficult was made possible, and that which was thought impossible could be done; so that it was possible to recognize that what had previously lived, born carnally and subject to sins, was of the earth, but what the Holy Spirit now quickened had begun to be of God.
scis profecto et mecum pariter recognoscis, quid detraxerit nobis quidue contulerit mors ista criminum, uita uirtutum.
You surely know and recognize with me equally, what that death of crimes, that life of virtues, has taken away from us or what it has brought to us.
scis ipse, nec praedico.
You yourself know, and I do not proclaim it.
in proprias laudes odiosa iactatio est: quamuis non iactatum possit esse sed gratum, quicquid non uirtuti hominis adscribitur, sed de Dei munere praedicatur, ut iam non peccare esse, coeperit fidei, quod ante peccatum est, fuerit erroris humani.
Boasting of one's own praises is odious; although it cannot be boasting but gratitude, whatever is not ascribed to the virtue of man, but is proclaimed as the gift of God, so that now not to sin has begun to belong to faith, while what was previously sinned belonged to human error.
Dei est, inquam, Dei omne, quod possumus.
It is of God, I say, all of God that we can do.
inde uiuimus, inde pollemus, inde sumpto et concepto uigore hic adhuc positi futurorum indicia praenoscimus: sit tantum timor innocentiae custos, ut qui in mentes nostras indulgentiae caelestis adlapsu clementer Dominus influxit, in animi oblectantis hospitio iusta operatione teneatur, ne accepta securitas indiligentiam pariat et uetus denuo hostis obrepat.
Thence we live, thence we are strong, thence having taken and conceived vigor, though still placed here, we foreknow the signs of future things. Let only fear be the keeper of innocence, so that the Lord, who mercifully flowed into our minds by the glide of heavenly indulgence, may be held by just work in the hospitality of the delighting soul, lest the security received should breed negligence, and the old enemy creep in anew.
§5Ceterum si tu innocentiae, si iustitiae uiam teneas inlapsa firmitate uestigii tui, si in Deum uiribus totis ac toto corde suspensus hoc sis tantum quod esse coepisti, tantum tibi ad licentiam datur, quantum gratiae spiritalis augetur.
But if you hold the way of innocence, of justice, with the unshaken firmness of your step, if suspended with all your strength and all your heart upon God, you are only this which you have begun to be, so much power is given to you as of spiritual grace is increased.
non enim, qui beneficiorum terrestrium mos est, in capessendo de Deo munere munere ulla uel modus est.
For there is not, as is the custom of earthly benefits, any limit or measure in receiving the gift from God.
profluens largiter spiritus nullis finibus premitur nec coercentibus claustris intra certa metarum spatia frenatur.
The spirit flowing abundantly is pressed by no limits, nor is it curbed by restricting barriers within certain spaces of boundaries.
manat iugiter, exuberat afluenter: nostrum tantum sitiat pectus et pateat.
It flows continually, it overflows affluently: let only our breast thirst and be open.
quantum illuc fidei capacis adferimus, tantum gratiae inundantis haurimus.
As much of capable faith as we bring thither, so much of inundating grace we draw out.
inde iam facultas datur, castitate sobria, mente integra, uoce pura in medellam dolentium posse uenenorum uirus extitinguere, animorum desipientium labes reddita sanitate purgare, infestis iubere pacem, uiolentis quietem, ferocientibus lenitatem, inmundos et erraticos spiritus, qui se expugnandis hominibus inmerserint, ad confessionem minis increpantibus cogere, ut recedant duris uerberibus urguere, conflictantes, eiulantes, gementes incremento poenae propagantis extendere, flagris caedere, igne torrere.
Thence indeed the power is now given, with sober chastity, upright mind, pure voice, for the healing of the suffering to be able to extinguish the virus of poisons, to cleanse the stains of foolish souls by restored health, to command peace to the hostile, quiet to the violent, gentleness to the fierce, to force the unclean and wandering spirits, who have plunged themselves into attacking men, to confession with threatening rebukes, to urge them with hard scourges that they may depart, to stretch them out—struggling, wailing, groaning—with the increase of expanding punishment, to beat them with whips, to burn them with fire.
res illic geritur nec uidetur: occulta plaga et poena manifesta.
The thing is done there and is not seen: the blow is hidden and the punishment manifest.
ita quod esse iam coepimus, acceptus spiritus licentia sua potitur: quod necdum corpus ac membra mutauimus, adhuc carnalis aspectus saeculi nube caecatur.
Thus, that which we have already begun to be, the received spirit enjoys its freedom; because we have not yet changed body and limbs, our carnal sight is still blinded by the cloud of the world.
quantus hic animi potentatus est, quanta uis est, non tantum ipsum esse subtractum perniciosis contactibus mundi, ut quis expiatus et purus nulla incursantis inimici labe capiatur, sed adhuc maiorem et fortiorem uiribus fieri, ut in omnem adversarii grassantis exercitum inperioso iure dominetur.
How great is this sovereignty of the soul, how great its power, not only that one is withdrawn from the pernicious contacts of the world, so that being expiated and pure, he is captured by no stain of the attacking enemy, but to become still greater and stronger in might, so that he rules with imperious right over the whole army of the raging adversary.