§1Adhuc maerens et dolens, fratres, sisto me sanctitati uestrae; nec enim praeteriti casus - dicam mei dicam uestri? — dolorem potui digerere.
Still mourning and grieving, brothers, I present myself to your holiness; for I could not digest the pain of the past misfortune—should I say mine or yours?
ter conatus sum uerbum, unde debitor sum, uobis subministrare: totiens et meae et uestrae lacrimae conantis uocem suppresserunt nec potui melius curas quibus premebar quam ubertate lacrimarum explicare.
I have tried three times to supply you with the word of which I am a debtor: as many times both my tears and yours suppressed the voice of the one trying, nor could I better unfold the cares with which I was pressed than by the abundance of tears.
quid ergo fiet? numquamne meo, numquam uestro luctui limes statuetur? quotiens me uidebitis intrantem, non cessabitis pectora tundere et gemitus dare? quotiens uos congregatos uidero, in lacrimas ibo et suspiria? tempus lugendi et mihi et uobis circumscripserunt eloquia diuina nec dolui cum uos lacrimantes uidi — et ad Lazari recordationem fleuit dominus Iesus Christus et qui eum flentem uidebant Iudaei dixerunt: ecce quomodo diligebat eum! —, immo potius si quid in lacrimis iucundum, si quid gratum esse potest, illud e uestris collegi.
What then will happen? Will a limit never be set to my mourning, never to yours? Every time you see me entering, will you not cease to beat your breasts and utter groans? Every time I see you assembled, shall I go into tears and sighs? The divine utterances have prescribed the time of mourning for both me and you, and I did not grieve when I saw you weeping—and at the memory of Lazarus the Lord Jesus Christ wept, and the Jews who saw him weeping said: behold how he loved him!—on the contrary, if anything in tears can be sweet, if anything can be pleasing, I collected that from yours.
dicebam enim intra me: \'ecce quomodo diligebant eum!) qui patrem tanto affectu prosequebantur, eundem dabunt et filio qui eorum pater factus est.
For I said within myself: 'Behold how they loved him!' Those who pursued the father with so much affection will give the same to the son who has become their father.
heredem oneris facient heredem amoris; qui succedit honori, succedet et caritati.
They will make the heir of the burden the heir of love; he who succeeds to the honor will succeed also to the charity.
bonum ingredienti omen est antiquae in pastorem dilectionis in ouibus signa uidere.
It is a good omen for the one entering to see in the sheep the signs of ancient affection toward the pastor.
fiet amoris translatio in eum cui facta est curarum collatio, nec mutato pastore cessabunt eum diligere qui debet oues pascere, cuius uocem audient et qui deo teste conscientia teste paratus est cum adiutorio domini pro ouicularum minima animam suam impendere et superimpendere.
The transfer of love will be made to him upon whom the bestowal of cares has been made, nor with the pastor changed will they cease to love him who must feed the sheep, whose voice they will hear, and who, with God as witness and conscience as witness, is ready, with the help of the Lord, to spend and spend to the uttermorst his life for the least of the little sheep.
§2Si quae ratio dolendi, si flendi, tota mea est, non uestra, non eius cuius tangimur desiderio.
If there is any reason for grieving, if for weeping, it is entirely mine, not yours, not his by whose longing we are touched.
solutus est ille, uinctus ego; stadium emensus, curro; in patria est, unde peregrinor; curas quas deposuit in sinu meo reposuit; clauum bene tenuit, de me quid fiet nescio; appulit, fluctuo; e litore uidet iratum pelagus, furentes procellas, exclamo in mediis fluctibus: salua nos, perimus.
He is released, I am bound; he has finished the race, I run; he is in the homeland from which I wander; the cares which he laid down he has replaced in my bosom; he held the helm well, what will become of me I know not; he has harbored, I fluctuate; from the shore he sees the angry sea, the raging tempests, I cry out in the midst of the waves: save us, we perish.
et uere perimus et uere periculum urget et uere caput meum impellit non meum tantum periculum, sed et uestrum; nam sine uobis saluus esse non possum, uestrarum animarum iactura mea est.
And truly we perish, and truly the danger presses, and truly danger impels my head, not mine alone, but also yours; for without you I cannot be safe, the loss of your souls is my loss.
quidquid domino meo de uobis perit, periculo meo perit; rationem sum redditurus, pellem pro pelle.
Whatever of you perishes to my Lord, perishes at my peril; I am to render an account, skin for skin.
misericordem dominum habeo, sed rigidum computatorem: ouiculas suas cotidie numerat, has in manibus descriptas habet, exigit numerum, quem si non reddidero ingens capiti meo periculum creatur.
I have a merciful Lord, but a rigid accountant: he counts his little sheep daily, he has them written in his hands, he demands the number, which if I do not return, a huge danger is created for my head.
uidete, fratres, si sarcinam meam considerans a lacrimis possum temperare, si de graui onere meo non mihi dolendum est.
See, brothers, if considering my burden I can restrain myself from tears, if I ought not to grieve over my heavy load.
pondus meum alleuiate.
Alleviate my weight.
faciet caritas uestra quod immane est mitius et adiuuante domino et pastor et ouiculae pascua inuenient, et postquam in meridie cubauerint, accumbent cum Abraham, Isaac et Iacob, ubi non erit sol neque ullus aestus, sed in umbra domini pax et refrigerium, quando luctus noster uertetur in citharam et noces flentium in cantus exsultantium.
Your charity will make what is immense milder, and with the help of the Lord both the pastor and the little sheep will find pastures, and after they have lain down at noon, they will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, where there will be no sun nor any heat, but in the shadow of the Lord peace and refreshment, when our mourning shall be turned into the lyre and the voices of those weeping into the songs of those exulting.
§3Ceterum, dilectissimi, dum de pastore erepto lugemus, nascitur de perdito fratre dolendi occasio.
But, most beloved, while we mourn for the pastor snatched away, an occasion of grieving for a lost brother arises.
praecisum est a nobis membrum, pars nostri facta est pars Donati, transiit miles domini ad castra Philistinorum et de uase honoris factum est uas dedecoris.
A member has been cut off from us, a part of us has become a part of Donatus, the soldier of the Lord has passed to the camp of the Philistines, and from a vessel of honor has become a vessel of dishonor.
intellegitis quid dico.
You understand what I am saying.
miser ille Rusticianus Mutigensis diaconus sacramentum quod ecclesiae debebat abiecit et ordinem suum infideli participatione polluit.
That wretched Rusticianus, deacon of Mutiga, cast away the sacrament which he owed to the church and polluted his order by faithless participation.
quid non feci, quos non adhibui conatus, ut in praecipitium ruentem in plano collocarem et eximerem periculo, qui periculum amabat in quo periit! is prima et urgens fuit cura mea qui nunc est dolor meus.
What did I not do, what efforts did I not employ, that I might place on level ground him who was rushing into a precipice, and rescue him from danger, who loved the danger in which he perished! He was my first and urgent care, who is now my pain.
nolebam mihi subtrahi in ipso oneris mei exordio quem a satis longo tempore uidebam tamquam fulgur de caelo cadentem.
I did not want him to be subtracted from me at the very beginning of my burden, whom for a long enough time I saw falling like lightning from heaven.
et licet ipse exigentibus peccatis suis a domino deseri meruerit, doleo tamen quod de eo ad dominum meum dicere non possum: \'ecce me cum pueris quos dedisti mihi. \'
And although he himself, because of his sins demanding it, deserved to be deserted by the Lord, I nevertheless grieve that concerning him I cannot say to my Lord: 'Behold me and the children whom you have given me.'